Chapter Fourteen – Liam
Liam
September
“September in Moose Village is one of my favorite times of the year,” Mary said as we walked to the park with Winnie. The leaves were beginning to change and it was hard to believe summer had come and gone so quickly.
“Mine too,” I replied, glancing around the park.
“What’s on your mind, Liam? You don’t seem like you’re present.”
I forced myself to smile. “My mind is just with work, I guess.”
Mary had been Winnie’s full-time nanny since July, and it had worked out perfectly.
She had said she would get an apartment in town, but it didn’t make sense to do that when she could just live with Winnie and me.
She was worried about what people would think since Hope had been gone a number of months and Mary had moved back.
We didn’t have to worry about rumors of anything happening between us for long, though, because Mary had been dating James for the last month and a half.
“How are things going with you and James?”
She smiled. “You’re changing the subject?”
“Am I?”
Laughing, she replied, “Yes, you are. Do you want to talk about what is going on between you and Aurora?”
Looking at her, I asked, “What do you mean? Nothing is going on with us.”
Mary sighed. “Exactly! My gosh, Liam, it is so clear to everyone that you like her and she likes you, and you’re both acting like you don’t, and it’s driving everyone crazy!”
My head snapped to the side. “Who is everyone?”
“Really?” she asked before rolling her eyes. “Everyone! Friends, family. Heck, I’m pretty sure even Winnie knows.”
“Why aren’t you telling Aurora how you feel? Or better yet, admitting to yourself that you have it bad for her.”
The guilt hit me as if I had walked into a brick wall. “You don’t understand, Mary.”
“I don’t? I think you forgot that Hope was my sister.
She told me everything, Liam. She told me how you asked for a divorce right before she found out she had cancer.
I saw the way she manipulated you during her treatment.
Making you think that you were giving more attention to Winnie, then she turned her anger onto Aurora when she noticed you looking at her the way you were. ”
I looked at Mary. “What?”
“Everyone else might have been blind, but I saw how you fought your attraction for her when Hope was sick. I heard Hope the night she accused you of having an affair with Aurora. When you denied it and she started crying, she then said she was just upset because Aurora was trying to take her place. And I also heard you tell Aurora the same thing after Hope had died. I wasn’t sure why you told her that, and to be honest, I’m not sure I understand now. ”
“I was trying to push her away.”
“Why?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. Everything was raw.”
She looked at me like she knew I wasn’t being honest either with her or myself. It was a little bit of both.
“She was my sister, and I loved her, but she ultimately did you wrong. Liam, you’re only keeping her crazy promises because you feel guilty, but you didn’t give Hope cancer. You aren’t the reason she didn’t survive either. And it’s not your fault if you found yourself attracted to another woman.”
I pushed my hand through my hair. “I know that, Mary.”
“Then why are you living with a ghost?”
Looking at her, I said, “I’m not.”
She scoffed. “Talk to me, Liam.”
I sat down on a bench and reached into the stroller to take Winnie out, then set her on my lap.
“I don’t know how I feel, Mary.”
“I do!” she snapped back. “You feel guilty as hell because you asked Hope for a divorce, she got sick, then you started to fall for Aurora while Hope was still alive, even though you desperately tried to fall back in love with Hope simply because she was dying of cancer. I was there…I saw it firsthand. I don’t think Aurora fell for you as quickly as you fell for her, but you fell, Liam, and I wasn’t the only one who saw it.
Hope did too. Why do you think she made you stay all those times when Aurora came by to spend time with Winnie?
Hell, I wasn’t even there all the time, and I could see it.
Hope knew you didn’t love her anymore, and she tried to use her cancer to guilt you into not falling for Aurora.
Then all that bullshit she put on you was just another way of trying to keep Aurora away after she died. ”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked at Mary. “What kind of man has dreams about another woman when his wife is lying next to him, dying?”
Tears filled Mary’s eyes as she reached for my hand.
“The kind of man who wasn’t in love with the woman lying next to him.
You and Hope were doomed from the get-go, Liam.
You kept reaching for things in the hope of saving your marriage.
I know you guys were struggling in New York City, and Moose Village was supposed to be a fresh start. But you can’t force love.”
I looked down at Winnie, who was sitting patiently on my lap, waiting to go to the playground to play.
“Hi, Liam! Hi, Mary!” Melinda Walters, a neighbor who lived two houses down from me, said as she approached us. “It’s such a beautiful day, I decided to bring Emma to the park.”
The second Winnie saw Emma, she climbed off my lap.
“Hi, Melinda,” I said with a wave.
“You two look like you’re having a rather important conversation, how about I take the girls over to the playground. I promise to keep my eyes on Winnie.”
“That would be lovely,” Mary replied before I had the chance to tell her no. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with Mary, but now that she got me talking, she wasn’t about to stop.
Winnie reached for Melinda’s outstretched hand, and the three of them took off toward the playground.
“How much did Hope tell you?” I softly asked.
She drew in a breath and exhaled. “That you separated in New York City, but then she found out she was pregnant with Winnie, and you worked things out.”
I nodded. “Hope wanted to move back to Moose Village so I could open up The Muddled Moose. She knew it was a dream of mine, and she wanted to raise our baby in a small town. Before she got pregnant, she wanted to travel the world and couldn’t understand why I didn’t.
We wanted two totally different things in life.
That’s why we separated in New York. Then she got pregnant and we got back together. ”
“So what happened after you moved? Why didn’t things work out?” Mary asked.
Turning to look at her, I frowned. “She didn’t tell you why I asked for the divorce?”
With a shake of her head, she replied, “No. I just assumed it was the previous problem. Hope said you both wanted different things in life.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “You were right when you said we were doomed from the beginning. My end game was always to come back to Moose Village and open The Muddled Moose. I told her that from the beginning. We agreed to stay in New York City for a bit, then revisit the idea of moving back to Moose Village. I should have known that someone like Hope wouldn’t be happy being settled down, no matter how hard she tried. ”
Sighing, I went on. “We grew apart not long after we got married. Hope became distant, and things were so strained between us we hardly spoke to one another; we eventually separated. When it didn’t seem like things would change, I told her I was going to file for divorce, and she told me she was pregnant.
She was so happy, and I thought maybe this was a second chance for us.
I don’t know if I believed that or if I was telling myself a lie.
Hope fully fixated on moving to Moose Village the moment she told me she was pregnant, so I could fulfill my dream of opening the bar.
I honestly wasn’t entirely convinced that she would like Moose Village.
And at first, I think she loved it. I truly do.
She became friends with Cadie, then Aurora and Harper.
She liked doing things with them, but even I could tell she wasn’t herself.
She was always tired and run-down. A part of me thought it might have been my mother who constantly rode her ass.
She started to decline invitations with Cadie and Aurora, and well…
she told me she hated it here. You know how Hope was.
She was climbing the walls and ready to leave. ”
Mary let out a soft laugh. “Always wanted to be on the go.”
I nodded. “I told her I could hire someone to run the bar and we could move back to New York if she wanted to, but she was hell-bent on staying in Moose Village. I couldn’t understand how one minute she would say she hated it here, then the next say we couldn’t leave because we needed to raise Winnie here. I finally found out why.”
Her eyes widened, and her face wore an expression of concern for what I was going to say. If I had any thoughts on whether Mary knew the truth of the matter, I could toss them out the window. By the look on her face, she had no idea.
“You remember Ronald Cunningham, right? I worked with him in New York City.”
Mary’s brows drew down. “Yes,” she slowly said.
“I remember Hope mentioning him a couple of times after you two were split up, but I never got the impression there was anything between them. It felt more like a friendship. Like maybe he was there for her during your split because he had recently split from his wife as well. At least that is what Hope told me.”
It only took a few moments before it clicked. “No. Are you saying they were together together?”
I nodded. “Hope didn’t tell me. At least not until she had to tell me. We were separated, and I honestly wouldn’t have cared, but if I had known when she told me she was pregnant. Well…things might have turned out differently.”
Her head shook. “Wait, Liam, you’re confusing me, and to be honest, I’m a little worried about what you’re going to say.”