11. Finn
Finn
SATURDAY, AUGUST 30TH
H oly balls, it is hot in this room.
Like, unreasonably hot.
Sweat is dripping off of me like I’m a melting snowman. I might actually be melting. A glance at my reflection in the giant mirror shows everyone is sweating, but none of them look like they just came in from a ten-mile run in the rain.
No, that honor belongs solely to me.
Callie’s in front of me. Her tan skin has a sheen to it that makes her look like she’s glowing. I start to wonder if she really is a goddess, but then we move into the next pose—downward dog—and her magnificent backside is once again dominating my view.
Well, it would be if I wasn’t constantly rubbing sweat out of my eyes.
Caleb, who’s all but parked himself next to me to assist with my form like it’s a private session, gently pushes my shoulders towards the floor so that I can place my palms on the mat. In doing so, though, my sweatshirt keeps falling down over my face, and so I try balancing on one hand while using the other to keep it pulled over my midsection.
“Finn,” Callie whispers.
I look up towards her, my shirt resting over my head like it’s hair, moisture rolling down my brows. She maintains perfect form, but she slightly turns her head to the side and furrows her eyebrows.
“Drink some water, dummy,” she instructs.
I shake my head no and start to lose my balance.
Caleb leans down, his hand still on my back to keep it from arcing, and he just nods. Basically, he’s also telling me to go drink some water, dummy.
I slowly right myself to a standing position and try to avoid seeing the giant flock of townspeople—including my daughter—with their faces pressed to the glass.
I grab my water bottle a little more aggressively than is necessary, but I’m irritated. I’m not just a gym teacher, I’m a physical therapist. I used to work with patients every day. I’m smart, dammit!
I briefly glance over to Brian Gosling, who’s executing each pose to perfection. Because of course he is. He’s a doctor, he’s a great fighter, and now he’s a fucking yogi, apparently.
I’m just as good as he is. Callie can respect me as much as she respects him.
Speak of the devil, she’s still following the flow of class (Caleb’s now walking around the room since he doesn’t have to babysit me), but she keeps peeking my direction with concern on her face.
Is she worried about me?
I rub my chest and take another swig of water before putting it down and resolving to kick the shit out of the rest of this class. And yeah, it hurts my pride a little to hear Caleb jogging my direction once he realizes I’ve rejoined. Sure, there is a non-stop reminder in my gut that eating a spicy chorizo breakfast burrito this morning was a terrible mistake. And okay, the room is spinning a little and the walls are going dark, but?—
“Okay, okay, everyone give him some air.” Caleb’s voice sounds so far away.
“I’ve got it!” That voice is also distant but less recognizable. Suddenly something is tickling my face and I bat my hands at it to get it away. “Stop, Coach Finnegan,” the voice protests. “You need this for air.”
“Geneva,” Caleb sighs. “That’s not how oxygenation works. Please go put the plant back.”
Slowly, everything comes back to me. I open my eyes to see Caleb, Callie, and Brian crouched down beside me.
Fuck. Kill me now.
I try to sit up, but they all object and push me back down.
“Finn, just stay where you are.” Callie’s tone is serious until I make eye contact. Then she offers me a weak smile. “Okay, dummy?”
“Whatever, Athena,” I mumble.
Geneva’s sharp features come back into view, and she’s holding a cup of water. “Here, Coach Finnegan.” She immediately pours it into my mouth and sends me into a coughing fit.
Now there are hands on my back and shoulders, helping me into a sitting position so that I don’t end up drowning.
I settle myself and try to get oriented. It’s still hotter than shit in the room and I feel like I’m wrapped in a wet towel thanks to this sweatsuit.
Brian talks to me first. “So you’re a physical therapist, right?”
I nod.
“And you’ve worked with patients who use yoga as a supplemental therapy to their rehab?”
My face goes sour because I know where he’s going with this. “Yes,” I mumble.
“So you are aware that this isn’t a beginner-level class, then?”
I glare at him.
“Maybe try starting with something a little less intense next time, yeah?”
I shamefully agree.
“Okay,” Brian pats my shoulder and stands up. “I’ll go tell the crowd out there that Callie won the round.”
“Brian!” Callie scolds.
“Sorry, I’ll help him up first.”
As if the morning wasn’t embarrassing enough already, Brian and Caleb each put a hand into my armpits and lift me like I’m a damn rag doll. I can stand by myself, for Christ’s sake.
Once I’m standing, Callie wraps her arm around my waist and directs me towards the door. Okay, so maybe I’ll accept a little help. “Let’s get you to the other room where it’s cooler,” she says.
The brisk air in the hallway hits me in the best possible way, and I feel better almost immediately.
I let Callie continue to walk me to the other classroom, anyway. I mean, it just seems to help her feel better by helping, so I don’t want to be rude.
The room is a mirror image of the one we were just in, although the overhead lights are turned off, so it’s just the natural glow from the windows that pours in. Callie grabs a balance ball from a rack on the side of the room and rolls it over to me. “Do you think you can sit on this without falling over? If not, Caleb might have some folding chairs in the storage closet, I can check.”
“No, this should be fine.”
She looks at me skeptically.
“I swear,” I hold out my hands. “I learned my lesson.”
“I’m not convinced,” she heads towards the door. “I’m going to go let Lexie know you’re okay, I’ll be right back.”
Her concern for Lex hits my chest.
I take a seat on the balance ball and immediately regret it, so I sit on the floor instead. I can still see the people outside from this room, but with the luxury of none of them looking in. Callie talks to Lex and Lex nods in response. Then Lexie goes to stand near Asher and Piper while Callie jogs back inside.
“Lexie’s okay,” Callie states as she comes into the room.
“Thank you,” I reply. “I appreciate you telling her.”
“You doing all right?”
“Much better. I even knew I couldn’t handle the balance ball, see?”
She smiles at me, and honestly? I think I could die a happy man if that was the last thing I ever saw.
“You can go back to class,” I tell her. “I’m going to sit here and rehydrate for the next…year.”
“I’ll go back in a minute,” she says as she walks towards me. “But I think I’ll hang with you just a little longer if that’s okay.” She pushes the ball out of the way and sits on the floor beside me, her lean legs straight out in front of her.
My brain can’t seem to focus on any one thing, darting from the complete humiliation of passing out in a class I basically dismissed in public to the completely inappropriate thoughts I’m having about the woman next to me…to the completely out-of-left-field revelation that I feel better whenever she’s around.
She breaks the silence before I can ruminate on that last point too much longer. “So, I’m all for the thrill of competition, but it seems like that one got away from you there. Are you sure you’re okay?”
My head falls forward. I don’t think I can answer that question one more time today. “It was stupid, I know. I’m fine.”
“Hey, I get it, I’m a really intimidating individual. Definitely a threat to your ‘angry whistle guy’ persona.”
“Well, sometimes you are ,” I say. “Out there with your purple hair and your cornhole trophy and your inflatable hamster ball.”
“What?” she laughs.
“Please, you know what I’m talking about.” I nervously swish the water around in my water bottle and take in a deep breath. “I’m a thirty-five-year-old man who had to move back with his parents. I’m never going to be a business owner like Caleb or a chiropractor like Brian. I, I gave up a successful career helping people as a physical therapist to work as a gym teacher at the school I graduated from. I’m a divorced, single dad who spends his weekends arguing with a preteen girl or playing third wheel to a married couple because they’re the only two friends in town I have left.”
She listens to my rant, nodding. “I’m your friend,” she says quietly, bumping my shoulder with her shoulder.
My heart speeds up a little, which doesn’t do much for the sweating situation I’ve still got going on. “Yeah,” is all I can say.
Callie nods. “And I think you’re a thirty-five-year-old man who loves his daughter so much that you did whatever you had to do to make sure she was safe and cared for. I know you didn’t plan on being a teacher here, Finn, neither did I. But please don’t dismiss it like it’s something to be ashamed of.”
Shit, I might have offended her. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“I know you aren’t talking about all teachers. I know you aren’t even talking about all gym teachers. You’re just pissed at yourself and that’s fine. But what I'm saying is that you should embrace this chance that you've been given to actually make a positive impact on these kids. They’re looking for their way, just like Lexie is. You can be more to them than just a guy who yells and blows a whistle.”
I take a second to process what she’s said. “You really believe that, don’t you?”
“Damn right I do. It’s why I fight through all the bullshit that comes with being a teacher.”
“You really are the Goddess of War.”
“Shut up,” she rolls her eyes.
“I’m serious, I don’t think there’s anything that scares you. You just jump fucking feet first into everything.”
“Just because I jump feet first doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”
“Name one thing that scares you,” I challenge.
She looks like she’s giving it some thought, but then she just slaps me knee and grins at me. “Drink more water, dummy,” she whispers and stands to walk out of the room.
I’m left staring after her, more than a little dumbfounded.
Before long, Lexie comes in, and even though she’s clearly repulsed by my sweat-soaked clothes, she gives me a bigger hug than she has in a long time.
“I’m okay,” I swear to her. “I just?—”
“Thought your toxic masculinity would carry you through an advanced yoga class?”
“ What? ”
“It’s okay, Dad, I know you’re not really a douchebag. Let’s go, I need to interview you for the paper.”
“Um, okay,” I mumble as I stand up, still trying to figure out what she just said to me.
The spectators have cleared out now. No one is there to mob me when we exit the studio, thankfully. “So how do you feel after today’s humiliating loss to Miss Callie?”
“Let’s ease into the questioning, okay, Walter Cronkite?”
“Who’s that?”
“Never mind. You’re grounded.”
“What are you going to do to prepare for the next battle at Put up Your Ducks?”
Shit, I forgot I have more of these fucking things to look forward to. I stop short and Lexie turns to look at me. “Prepare?” I ask.
My daughter’s shoulders sag a little in disappointment. It would hurt if I wasn’t so used to seeing it. “Dad, seriously?”
“Well, what do you mean by prepare?!”
She studies me. “I bet Aunt Delilah has to bleach your hair first before she can dye it orange.” Then she sighs and starts walking again.
I don’t think I can handle any more challenges to my manhood this morning. “Oh, I’ll prepare!” I announce, following her. “I’m gonna wipe the floor with Callie Stavie…Storv…Whatever, I’m gonna beat the crap out of her!”
Lex’s eyes grow wide. “Jesus, Dad.”
“Yeah, no, sorry. That was too far. I would never hurt a woman. And don’t say ‘Jesus.’ I’m gonna win, is what I’m saying.”
We climb into my car and buckle up.
“Can I quote you on th?—”
“It’s off the record!”