12. Finn
Finn
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 3RD
“ T hanks for grabbing a beer with me,” I say to Jonah as we walk into the Crow Bar together.
“Yeah, man, any time. Lilah’s finishing up with her last client and she’ll join us when she’s done.”
We grab a booth in the back and sit down.
“So what’s this big problem you need help with?” Jonah asks as he peruses the beer menu.
“I’ll tell you here in a minute,” I hedge. I want to make sure the server doesn’t interrupt us in the middle of what I’m about to ask.
“Ooookay,” he gives me a strange look. “Hey, how’s your head, by the way? Did your ego deflate a little after the Wingspan incident this morning?”
“You’re such an asshole,” I grumble.
“Yeah, but I’m the only asshole you asked for help.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “The next ‘war’ for this Wild Turkeys thing is at Put Up Your Ducks. I’ve never been in a boxing match with a woman before. I don’t know what to do.”
Jonah puts the beer menu down and eyeballs me. “They’re asking you two to box each other?”
“I mean, what else would we be doing at an MMA gym?”
“And you’re concerned because you don’t feel comfortable throwing punches at her?”
“No, the opposite. I want to completely take her out, but without injuring her. That’s where you come in. Give me some tips. How do you handle unruly citizens?”
Jonah closes his eyes and rubs his face with both hands. “Are you asking me to teach you how to forcibly detain Callie like she’s a criminal?”
“I need my kid to see me beat that woman!” I yell a little too loudly. “For the turkey thing!” I amend. A couple of people look our way, including Delilah, who’s scooting into the booth next to Jonah.
“What’s this now?” she asks.
“Finn here wants me to teach him how to put Callie in a chokehold.”
“That is obviously not at all what I said.”
“Oh my god, you are such a moron,” Delilah glares at me. “Seriously, what is the matter with you? They’re not going to have you in a fist fight, it’ll be a series of fitness tests.”
“Fitness tests?” I ask.
“Yes, of course! Why in the hell would the school promote an event with two teachers pummeling each other?”
I don’t bother answering her question. I’m too busy rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain. “This is fantastic news.”
“You may want to pump the brakes before you celebrate, there,” Jonah notes. “Callie’s not exactly out of shape.”
Delilah nods in agreement. “Kodi had us running some pretty hardcore drills before the championship.”
“Good. It’s not fun to win in a one-sided battle. I like a challenge.”
My comment draws a devious smile out of Delilah. “You like her ,” she taunts.
“Not this again,” I roll my eyes. “We already went through this. Stop acting like we’re back in high school.”
“No, no,” Jonah holds his hand up. “Let my hot wife talk, I think she has a point.”
Delilah rewards him with a kiss that is thankfully brief. “Deny it all you want, Leo Finnegan. I’ve been there, done that. You can’t hide forever—you’re legitimately into her!”
I lean forward and speak through clenched teeth. “Would you keep your voice down? The last thing I need is a misquote in the damn Nosy Pecker .”
Continuing to play the part of the sister I never wanted, Delilah begins her sing-song assault on my love life. “Finn and Callie, sittin’ in a tree…” Thank god she’s not belting it out, at least.
I stand up abruptly, which only makes her snicker. “Fuck you both,” I point. “I’ve got to go, I’m going to work out.”
I don’t wait for either of them to say good bye before I make my way towards the front door.
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” I can hear Delilah’s laugh as I leave, and my face heats.
I march through the parking lot to my car, mumbling to myself. “‘Into her.’ Please. I was gearing up to take her to the mat.”
An unsolicited thought pops into my head. Callie underneath me, her arms pinned over her head by my grip, her breath heavy, her body covered in sweat…
“Augh! No!”
My seemingly random outburst startles a couple stepping out of their car. “You okay, man?”
This is so embarrassing. For so many reasons. “Yeah,” I force a smile. “Never better.”
Seriously. I’m fine.