27. Callie
Callie
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26TH
F inn’s random guest appearance in my classroom shocks my kids into silence—which is shocking in and of itself. But I’m more concerned with the deer in the headlights situation he’s got going on.
“Hey, Coach Finnegan,” I chirp. “So crazy to see you here, floating around in outer space with us. Are you breathing okay?”
The question is valid.
Finn stammers, his eyes darting around the room before settling on me in a mute plea for help.
“Uh-oh, kids, I think he might need to make a landing. I’m going to get him some help, I’ll be right back!”
I usher him out the door into the hall, standing right by the little window so I can keep tabs on my classroom. But also keep tabs on my boyfriend, who’s rubbing his hands together like he’s trying to start a fire.
“What’s going on? Are you all right?”
He knits his eyebrows and tries to find his words. “I, um, sorry, I just…no, but…the thing is…”
“Are you hurt? Do you need to go to the clinic?”
“No! No, it’s not me, it’s…”
My heart sinks to my toes. “Oh my god, is Lexie okay? Did something happen to her?”
His shoulders sink. “Lex is fine, I’m fine, I don’t need…I just…what the hell is on your head?”
I reach up and touch my hat. “It’s my alien cap.”
He continues to stare at me.
“For Martian Math,” I explain.
He rubs his face with his hands and continues to speak in fragmented sentences without making eye contact with me. It’s got to be the hat, so I pull it off and smooth my hair down. “Finn.” I put my hand on his arm and he finally looks at me. “What’s wrong? Please talk to me.”
He takes a deep breath and finds his focus. “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by,” he laughs. “You know, see how you were doing. See if you had anything exciting going on.”
What the hell?
I sneak a quick peek in on my class and see that they’re, of course, out of their seats, but not causing any general chaos. “Nope, all good here. Can we talk about this after school?”
“Are you sure?” he continues. “You’re sure there’s nothing? No, like, big news you might want to share?”
Shit.
He heard about the job offer.
“You talked to Piper.”
“You told Piper before you told me?” he yells.
I grip his forearm with both hands and shush him immediately. “Oh my god, stop!” I whisper.
“No,” he hate-whispers back. “I did not hear it from Piper, I talked to Alicia. Why didn’t you say anything last night?”
“I was going to!”
He shakes his head.
“I was, I swear! But I wanted to wait to tell you until we would have enough time to actually talk about it.”
His entire demeanor has completely shifted from when the conversation started. He’s standing tall now, his strong jawline set. “Well, it’s Friday,” he says. “Plenty of time to talk tonight.”
“I—”
“Lex and I will pick you up after class.” And with that, he stalks away towards the gym.
Defeated, I go back into the classroom and tell everyone to sit at their desks.
“Is Coach Finn okay, Miss Callie? He looked weird,” Annika notes.
“He’s okay, Annika, that’s very nice of you to ask.”
“Sometimes Lexie comes to see Hazel. Lexie says he’s cranky sometimes, but not as much as he used to be.”
“My dad is cranky all the time,” James interjects.
“Only one of my dads gets cranky,” Oliver adds.
This becomes an obvious invitation for everyone to speak, and the room volume rapidly increases. I take out my glow-in-the-dark kazoo and put my alien cap back on. “Red alert! Red alert!” I head to the light switch and flip it on and off a few times. “The ship is in crisis, we need more math cards!”
The talking doesn’t subside too much, but they do at least go back to their addition.
I don’t have any time to collect my thoughts until lunch and recess, where I opt to spend my thirty-five minute break in my car instead of the teacher’s lounge or my knitting nook. I need to be out of the building for a second.
“Hey, Dad. It’s Calliope again. I’m sure you saw what happened earlier with Finn. Or maybe you didn’t…I’m actually not sure what all you see and don’t see. I hope you don’t see everything because that would be scarring for both of us.
“Anyway, Finn is pissed that I didn’t tell him about the permanent teaching job yesterday, even though I had a chance to last night. And I guess I get it, but am I really in the wrong here? For wanting time to think about it? I mean, it’s months away.”
I stare out the window and see Brody’s towering figure stroll towards Ro at the Plume ’n Zoom across the street. Her face lights up the second she sees him, and he dips her before giving her a kiss. That man would do anything for her, and she is so in love with him. Watching them together, knowing what they’ve been through, I’m pretty sure I know the answer to my question.
The decision doesn’t just affect me; it affects him too. So I should have talked to him before he found out from someone else…
“Dammit! I hate it when I’m wrong.”
But I can admit it.
I finish my sandwich and step out of my car to walk back inside. Some crows are cawing and flying around each other at the birdseed station by the side of the school. They’re so loud and playful that I have to stop and watch them interact for a few minutes. And then they give me the perfect Tuft Swallow apology.