28. Callie
Callie
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26TH
M y apology endeavor is not off to the greatest start.
True to his word, Finn and Lex were at my classroom door five minutes after the last bell rang. Lexie had plenty to say, as usual, but every time I tried to elicit any response out of Finn, I got a nod or a grunt. For a second there, I got a glimpse of what it must be like to date Crankshaft.
Now we’re at Finn’s place, groceries in hand. I clutch my messenger bag, making sure my prop is secure and ready to go.
“Lex, get the plates and napkins set up, please,” Finn directs as he walks over to set the pizza down on the kitchen counter.
“Are we eating at the table or in the living room?”
“At the table, why would we eat in the living room?”
Lexie looks a little surprised at the question. “No, I mean, sometimes we eat in the living room is all.”
“Well, not tonight.” Finn is in the kitchen grabbing cups for us. “You want water?” he asks me.
“Yes, please.”
“Soda for me,” Lex calls.
“Water it is,” Finn calls back.
“What can I do to help?” I ask.
“Just sit your pretty ass down,” he replies, the first compliment to cross his lips in over a week. But his tone makes me think he’s being a dick as opposed to being a flirt.
Lex sets the table and chats with me while Finn starts cooking.
“I was talking to Ro Swan the other night about the new roller derby team, Lexie. I think they’re going to be practicing at the school, it would make a great article for the paper.”
“Oh, slay,” she says. “What’s their name again?”
“The Tuft Swallow Talons. Her boyfriend, Brody, is going to coach and Ro’s the team captain. Have you ever seen her in the rink?”
“No.” Lexie’s face brightens. “Is it violent?”
“Yes,” I nod eagerly. “It’s awesome!”
“Maybe you should try out for the team, Callie,” Finn interjects. “Although it depends on when the season starts, I guess, right?”
“Um, yeah, I guess,” is all I can think of to say.
Lex furrows her eyebrows for a second, then shrugs. “Ms. Longspur is going to teach me some more photography tips using my phone,” she says.
That makes me smile. “Ooo, she’s a great person to learn from!”
“The pictures she showed me from her trip to the shore are lit.”
Finn snorts. “Alexis, English.”
She rolls her eyes and exaggerates her words. “Her. Pictures. Are. Really. Good.”
“Okay,” I gently pat her hand. “Well, Piper is a brilliant teacher, and I’m really glad you’re having fun at the paper. She knows a lot.”
“She sure does,” Finn retorts. “Some might say she knows more than most people.”
“Dad, what is your deal right now?”
Don’t do this. Do not do this.
“Nothing. Sorry. Dinner will be ready in fifteen.”
“Lex, why don’t you show me the new glitter gel you were talking about earlier?”
“Let’s go!” Lex bounds into her room, and I’m all too happy to follow her. The time passes quickly when her dad isn’t inserting his passive-aggressive commentary into the conversation. When we hear him call for us to join him at the table, the tension has vanished, and I’m ready to apologize.
“Noodles and sauce are on the table, help yourself,” Finn directs.
I breathe in the heavenly garlic and tomatoes. “It smells amazing.”
We all sit down and, as covertly as I can, I grab the fake black bird out of my messenger bag and hide it in my lap. “Finn, this spaghetti looks incredible, but…I think I have to eat this first.” With a not especially fluid movement, I plunk the bird down on the empty plate in front of me.
Finn and Lex stare at it with confusion and a hint of disgust.
“What the hell is that?” he asks.
“It’s a crow.”
“I can see it’s a crow. I guess the better question to ask is: why the hell is there a dead crow on your plate?”
“Well, it’s not dead, it’s plastic. I think the feathers are synthetic?—”
“Callie, why the hell is there a plastic crow with synthetic feathers on your plate??”
“Because I’m eating it! I’m eating crow! I’m trying to apologize here! I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I get why you’re mad and I was wrong. I should have told you yesterday.”
Lex scrunches her face. “Told him what?”
Finn’s face falls at his daughter’s question. “Nothing. Just a miscommunication, not a big deal. Definitely not something we need to discuss over dinner.” When I say he shoots me a glare, I mean he shoots me a glare. I now truly understand the expression, “if looks could kill.”
I swipe the bird off my plate and stuff it back in my bag, then dish up some pasta and try to recover. “It’s really starting to get cold at night, huh?”
Finn drops his fork and shakes his head. “Lex, honey, can you give us a minute?”
Lex rolls her eyes. “Can I at least take my food?”
“Sure. Take your phone too.”
“Obviously.”
We sit in silence until her bedroom door shuts, then Finn scowls at me. “What in god’s name were you thinking? Bringing that up in front of her?”
“Finn, I’m so sorry. I really am. I just wanted to tell you I realize I was wrong yesterday.”
“And you couldn’t have put it off for an hour?”
“Well, you seemed pretty angry. I figured the sooner the better.”
“But you didn’t figure that my kid might have questions about why you’re apologizing?”
“I didn’t, and I’m sorry for that, too. But I think it’s okay, she didn’t push when you told her it was a miscommunication. She’s probably moved on already.”
“Callie, if this is going to work, you can’t keep thinking only about yourself.”
Oh, hell no. I wish I’d kept the crow out so I could chuck it at his head. “Woah, woah, back up. Wasn’t it you who stormed into my classroom without warning or invitation less than four hours ago? Interrupting my class with my students because you had an axe to grind?”
“An axe I wouldn’t have to grind if you’d been honest with me yesterday!”
“Okay, so when you do something like that, it’s justified, but when I do it, it’s selfish?”
“I didn’t say you were selfish.”
“That’s literally exactly what you said!”
“Fine, you know what? You were selfish. I told you how I felt and what I wanted, and when the opportunity to move here permanently presented itself, you thought it was a decision that only concerned you.”
“Hence my apology! I told you I don’t know how to be in a relationship, this is why! I’m not used to anyone else being involved in my decisions.”
“Well, now might be a real good time to get used to it, Callie. Because if you take that job offer, then you’ll have a whole goddamn town full of people involved in your decisions.”
“Job offer? Does that mean you’re going to stay?” The hope in Lexie’s voice sends my heart into a deep dive. I didn’t even hear her come out of her room. Neither did Finn, based on his expression.
I hesitate.
“She doesn’t know yet,” Finn supplies. Gone is the bravado he was parading around ten seconds ago, and in its place is just plain old, regular guilt.
Lex shifts her weight. “What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you like it here?”
“Of course I like it here,” I rush. “I love it here. It’s beautiful.”
“Do you not like the job or something?”
“No, I love my job, too.”
“Then what is it?”
I look helplessly at Finn. He just raises his eyebrows; an unspoken, “ Go ahead. Tell her.”
“Lex, listen, there’s a lot to consider, okay? And it has nothing to do with?—”
“No, there’s not.”
Finn finally throws me a life preserver. “Alexis, honey, Callie’s not leaving any time soon, all right? There’s a lot of adult stuff going into this that you don’t understand.”
“Whatever. Just go.” Her voice is shaky and her eyes are wet, but I don’t think she intends to let me see her cry. She spins around and runs to her room, slamming the door.
Finn crumples up his napkin and tosses it on the plate full of spaghetti in front of him.
I’ve got to get out of here.
“What?” He looks at me.
Apparently, I said that out loud.
“I have to go. Like, not go go , just…go home.”
“Yeah, okay.” He stands up and grabs his plate. “Give me a second, I’ll drive you.”
“No!”
He stops short at my panicked response.
“No, please. Stay here with her. We’ll talk later. I’m sorry. Please tell her I’m sorry.”
It’s all I can choke out before snatching my bag and rushing out the door as quickly as the boot on my ankle allows. He’s calling my name, but I know he won’t leave Lex to come after me.
I’m able to call Lily to come pick me up, and by the time she drops me off at home, it’s dark outside and my phone is dead.
I’m guessing my relationship is, too.