8. RYA
8
RYA
A moment later, the RAs put an official end to their meeting and release us to go about our business. I have so many things I’d like to speak to Jaxon about, but I don’t even know how to go about it. Am I simply the girl he was stuck with last night who got so drunk she awkwardly peed in front of him? What happened after that is all a hazy memory of heat and kisses and then… nothing. There’s a void in my brain of what exactly transpired after that. But considering I woke up in someone else’s bed— I stop, correcting myself. Jaxon’s bed. Because that’s the only thing that makes sense now that I know he’s the new RA. That’d be why it was a single room, not a double.
Frustrated I don’t know what happened in between, I look up and note that several people have stopped by to say hello to Jaxon on their way out, so I’m going to have to wait to say anything to him. And now everything I want to discuss is also caught up in Logan’s obviously shitty relationship with his stepbrother. It all twists around and around in my head until I’m dizzy, without a clue as to how to move forward.
“Hey, I’m heading back up to the room, you coming?” Hazel’s question drags me from my thoughts.
I bite my lip, my eyes sliding back to the group surrounding Jaxon, mentally urging them to move along. “Go on up. I’ll be right there.”
“Oh. Should I stay with you?” She gives me a quizzical look with a raised brow. “Why do you look so pale? Are you still feeling sick? I thought you were better.”
I frown right back. “What? No. I’m fine. I just want to?—”
“Talk to the mega-hot guy? You didn’t really seem like you wanted to dish about it earlier, but … damn. He’s really good looking.”
“Hazel.” My friend can downshift and change gears so fast it makes my head want to pop off. I cringe, unsure how much to spill. “He is. It’s just Logan didn’t say anything about my phone. So I’m wondering if maybe Jaxon still has it.” I tamp down my rising anxiety because it occurs to me that in addition to my phone, he might also have my clothes. That’s enough to make me want to throw up all over again .
“Oh. Right. I can go with you.” She clenches her teeth, glancing down at her phone. “Ugh, but my dad is supposed to be calling in five minutes.”
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. You definitely don’t want to have to explain why you didn’t answer.” Hazel’s dad might be the strictest man I know. It pisses her off on a regular basis, which I get because I’ve heard the receiving end of a couple ugly calls. I’d never say it to her, but I don’t like the man at all.
“See you upstairs, then.” Hazel gives me a quick hug. “We can figure out the best route to our classes when you get back, ’kay?”
I nod, squeezing her shoulder as she pulls away. “Yeah. Sounds good,” I murmur, pasting on a bright smile to reassure her so she’ll leave my side. Hazel and I have gotten to know each other pretty damn well in the last few months, which makes sense, seeing as how we’re living together and all incoming freshman dance majors are required the same handful of classes. We’ve been stuck together like glue.
Apparently, she doesn’t sense anything amiss because she takes off, exiting through the main entrance to the common room as do the majority of the hall’s residents.
Tucking the hair escaping my messy bun behind my ears, I pivot back to where Jaxon was a minute ago, but he’s not there. My gaze sweeps the room until I finally find him, surrounded by a group of girls.
I glance down at myself in the not-so-cute baggy joggers I’d chosen to bum around in earlier and the thin sweatshirt I’d taken a pair of scissors to last week when I was bored. I thought the top had looked kinda cool with a boatneck that slipped from one shoulder, but the more I think about it, I can’t tell whether it looks artsy or if I simply look like a Flashdance reject.
Between my choice of clothing and the fact that my hair needs a wash, I’m self-conscious and convinced I look like a sack of potatoes rather than anyone Jaxon would want to be seen with. I’m definitely not the girl he was kissing last night. Continuing to watch him from a distance isn’t going to get me anywhere, though, so I screw up the courage to venture closer.
“Can’t wait to watch you on the baseball court!” one overly friendly chick gushes.
I put a few fingers over my mouth to disguise my laugh. Okay, so maybe I have less to worry about than I thought. At least I’m well-versed in baseball from time spent with Logan. I clench my teeth and close my eyes for a moment. It’d been one helluva surprise to discover Jaxon is a ballplayer, too. But I’m certain Logan had to know. It hits me that maybe that’s how he knew how to find him earlier. Logan had told me that his first practice starts tomorrow, but there was an option to work out this morning with the team… Shit, that probably was where he found his stepbrother. At least that mystery is solved.
My attention cuts back to Jaxon who is eyeing the girl with a raised brow. “Yeah. I spend a lot of time on that baseball court.” He’s giving off very strong get-me-the-fuck-outta-this-conversation vibes. I inch closer, finally catching his eye. With what appears to be a sigh of relief, he immediately points a finger at me and grits out, “Excuse me. It looks like I’m needed for something. Talk to you all later.”
He eases away, then quickly grabs my hand as he comes past me, spinning me around and hauling me along with him. We exit via a different door than Hazel and I initially entered. He strides quickly down one gloomy hallway after another until I’m all turned around. “Wait, where are we going?” This place is like a maze, so I’m not surprised I’m lost. And to be honest, it’s giving me the creeps. From what I understand, the interior of the building has been remodeled over the years, but they’ve done their best to maintain the original feel of the old place. Antique wall sconces flicker with light along our path.
At my question, Jaxon shifts his head enough that the dim light accentuates discolored skin on both his chin and cheekbone. I suck in a breath, my eyes going wide as my gaze flicks over the obvious bruises. “Oh, shit. What happened to you?”
“I’m fine.” Jaxon comes to a stop, turning to face me. “And I was taking you to one of the study rooms.” He shrugs, gesturing to a doorway at the end of the hall. “You sought me out after the meeting. I figured you might have something to say. Am I wrong? Or did you want to ask me things you don’t mind other people hearing?” His brows raise. At my frown, he sighs. “Sorry. That was harsh.” He rubs a hand over his jaw. “Rough day, I guess.”
I chew on my lip as I try to discern the root of his issue. I assume it’s not me, though I do have things I want to ask him. Maybe he had an argument with Logan. But if so, what was up with all the smiles back there? And then the tormented look on his face when Logan walked out? My fingers itch to skim over the bruised skin, and without thinking, I lift my arm, lightly tracing them along his jaw.
Internally, I cringe as I study this guy who has stormed into my life, taking hold of something inside me with very little effort. Oh my god, what is it about Jaxon that I like so much? A million thoughts bounce through my head, but the one at the forefront is the guilt springing to life inside me. I don’t even know him that well, but I feel an invisible tether to him—a pull that will most definitely upset Logan a whole lot. It’s impossible for me to sort through these feelings with Jaxon standing so close, those dark eyes of his piercing mine.
He remains still, not a single sound leaving his lips. When I touch his cheekbone, though, his chest jerks.
“Does it hurt?” I whisper. Did Logan do this? That’s what I really want to ask, but I keep the question clammed up inside me, worried that it’ll cause a problem. I’m beginning to see that when it comes to Logan and Jaxon, there’s a lot to be uncovered. I’m in the dark, and I don’t like it here, but I’m not ready for an attempt at prying the info out of either of them.
His jaw twitches in answer, then, as if he’s afraid he’s going to scare me off, he slowly brings his hand up to grasp mine and pulls it away. He doesn’t let go, simply holds it in his much bigger one and tugs me along with him as he continues to our final destination.
My eyes track around the darkened room, waiting silently for Jaxon to flick on the light. I blink as the spacious area is illuminated by a soft glow. The door snaps shut, and I spin around. Jaxon leans against the door, his arms crossed over his chest, his head slightly bowed so his hair hangs somewhat in his eyes. When he finally speaks, his words come out as a throaty rasp. “To answer your question, Logan and I got into it in the locker room earlier. Nothing that hasn’t happened before. Don’t worry about it.” He looks me up and down, from my crazy hair to the socks on my feet.
Realizing my shoulder is bare, I shrug, trying to get the neckline of my top back into place. But it’s no good, it just slips right down my arm again, and when I hazard a look at Jaxon, he’s watching every move I make from under hooded eyes. My entire body shudders involuntarily. “A-are you gonna tell me more”—I expel a hard breath—“or just listen to me stumble over my words? Because I can totally do that.”
A smirk teases at his full lips. “Yeah, I’ve noticed you’re good at that sort of thing. I like the way you dress. You know, when you’re not looking to impress anyone.”
I cover my face with my hands. A rush of embarrassment flows through me, even though I don’t think he’s necessarily picking on me. “Is it that bad?” I mumble, peeking from between my fingers. He makes no move to step any farther into the room and has blocked the only exit… but strangely, I’m not afraid.
“No.” He winks. “We had a lot of fun last night, didn’t we?” At my nod, he continues, “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”
Unable to stop my eyes from roaming over the bruising on his face, for a moment my mind has trouble landing on exactly how I want to approach this. Finally, I suck in a breath before I blurt, “Well. For one, I’m a little nervous about whatever I don’t remember from last night.” Clasping my hands in front of me, I tuck them under my chin and shoot him a pained smile. “I, um… I remember the bathroom debacle.”
A slow smile works its way to his lips. “Do you remember kissing me before that?”
Do I allow this conversation to go where I think it’s heading? I bite my lip, and my cheeks burn. All I can do is nod. Oh god, is Logan going to hate me? He’s never cared who I was interested in before. But this feels different. There’s a locomotive with Jaxon’s name on it barreling toward me. And I don’t know if I can stop the collision course we’re on. I swallow, my eyes flicking to his, uncertain. Would Logan pull me free from the wreckage?
“And how about when I boosted you onto the bathroom counter?” Jaxon’s brows rise, waiting. From the look of hunger in his eyes, he’s remembering every minute of an encounter I hardly recall no matter how badly I want to.
I desperately attempt to wet the inside of my mouth, watching the comfortable way he lounges against the door, his gaze sliding lazily over me in a way that makes my insides feel like warm honey. My chest catches before a breath filters unevenly from my lungs. “Yes.” I stare at him, willing my lips to move. “Maybe you could just… I dunno, forget everything that happened after that?”
My eyes zero in on his teeth as they scrape over his lip. “You were really feeling it, I can tell you that much.” He chuckles, and his eyes pin on me. “If the noises you were making were any indication, you enjoyed what we were doing a whole helluva lot.”
The insinuation that we did things I can’t remember is too much. My face flushes with heat, and somewhere behind my rib cage, my heart staggers around and plummets. I blink, swallowing hard. “Did I?” But what were we doing ? And the only thought screaming in my head is that I need to run, to not face what I may or may not have done while under the influence. A muffled cry burbles up from my throat, and I slap my hands over my mouth, horrified. “I need to go.” Taking two quick steps toward the door, I reach for the handle, even though Jaxon seems unfazed and is blocking my exit.
He holds his hands up, a soft laugh falling from his lips. “Hold on. I was joking. I promise.”
“About what, exactly?”
His mouth hikes up on one side. “I mean, you did enjoy it, but you passed out before we did more than exchange a few kisses. Nothing more than what we were already doing while we were drinking. ”
My tongue peeks out to wet my lips as I study him. “You’re sure?” I make every attempt to slow my breathing while I wait for him to answer, but it’s really fucking hard with him staring at me so boldly. He’s kinda beautiful, if you can call a man that. Plush lips, a jaw that could cut glass, high cheekbones, and dark lashes that frame impossibly rich-hued eyes of a chocolate brown color. I’d like to dive into them and stay there forever. My breathing stutters as I gasp. The longer portion of his hair on top of his head sweeps over his forehead, partially obscuring his gaze.
Shit. Should I be thinking about Logan’s stepbrother like this? My head is foggy with confusion, my palms sweaty with nerves. I blink up at Jaxon. If he were anyone else, this would be so easy. Logan doesn’t feel about me the way I do about him. He couldn’t possibly. And I can never tell him what I feel for him because his rejection would crush me. So…
“Do you want me to tell you what happened after you passed out?” He pushes away from the door, edging closer.
A jolt of awareness slams through me. One thing’s for sure, no matter what Logan might think, my body definitely recognizes my interest in Jaxon. Please, someone help me. I wish Hazel were here so I could ask for her honest opinion, because she’d give it to me straight. I clench my teeth and shoot him a tight smile. “That might alleviate some of the worries swirling around in my mind.”
Tilting his head to the side, his gaze shifts from my eyes to the left. I’m confused for a moment, but then he reaches out, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. From there, his fingertips trail from the back of my jaw to my chin before dropping his hand. “I realized too late that your tolerance was way lower than I thought, and the rum hit you hard. When you passed out, I carried you up the stairs and made them let me take you outta there.”
Oh god. “You carried me all the way back to the dorm?”
He inclines his head, locking eyes with me. “Sure did. I knew you had to live in Deveney Hall, being a dancer and all.” His brow furrows. “But you were so out of it, there was no way you were telling me where your room was. And I was nervous because I thought you might get sick.”
My mouth drops open, eyes crashing shut. “Shit. I-I’m so sorry.” Drawing in a breath, I decide I’d better own my shit and force myself to look at him.
A soft smile teases at his lips, and he shakes his head. “Don’t be. I didn’t want you to be alone. Just in case. Then, well…” He clenches his teeth, a look of consternation washes over his face.
“Then what?” I croak, terrified of what he’s about to tell me .
“You threw up in the hallway. Most of it just hit the floor, but it kinda splattered.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” I pull a face and exhale unsteadily. This is so fucking embarrassing. Yet, Jaxon is very matter-of-fact about it. Doesn’t seem the least put off by my humiliating performance.
“Do you want to hear the rest?” One brow arches as he eyes me and holds out his hand. Caught between wanting to run and wanting to take it, I hesitate, which makes a muscle in his jaw twitch before he closes the distance between us and takes my hand. He draws me closer while my heart thunders. “I took off your jeans and the pretty top you were wearing so I could wash them, cleaned you up, and tucked you into my bed.”
I stare at the wide, corded column of his throat, trying to make sense of how he’d helped me. Finally, I tip my face up, staring into his dark eyes. “Thank you.”
He’s got the corner of his lip trapped between his teeth as he studies my face. “You’re welcome.” Then his chest heaves right before he lets out a rough chuckle. “What, did you think I was going to take advantage of you in that state?”
My eyes grow wide, and the blood whooshing through my veins creates a deafening sound. I blink up at him.
He gestures to the door. “Let’s go upstairs and get your clothes and phone.” At my silent nod, he readjusts his grip on my hand, lacing my fingers with his. Returning the way we came, he pulls me to a stop when we hear voices a short distance away. He turns me to him, cupping my face with both hands. In the low light, he leans down, brushing his lips over mine. His mouth hovers there as he murmurs in a velvety soft voice, “The next time I put my hands on your body, you can be fucking sure you’ll remember it.”