9. LOGAN
9
LOGAN
Jaxon’s such a dick. There’s nothing anyone can say that’ll make me change my mind, either. Brooding and standoffish and fucking full of himself, my stepbrother living here—where I’m going to run into him all the time—is fucking ridiculous. I swear my mom told me he was done living in the Evermore athletic dorm after one year and would be in an apartment this year. So, what the fuck is he doing here? My jaw tightens as memories of his cute little speech at the meeting earlier had been enough to push me right over the edge.
We’re like night and day. Fire and motherfucking ice.
An aggravated breath passes between my lips as I stand under the spray of the shower, willing the pelting water to calm me. It’s not doing a whole lot of good. Fucking Jaxon . It was bad enough that I ran into him at a party on campus. Worse to watch him put his goddamn hands on Rya. He’s got her fooled.
Fuck. He’s got everyone fooled. Everyone but me. He’s like some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde freak. And he only brings out his true nature for me. No one else knows what he’s capable of. He’ll continue to let everyone around us think he’s the victim like he always has, when the reality is he’s the instigator of all our trouble. I had figured both of us being on Evermore’s baseball team was going to be a shit show. This last devious display of his in front of our coach is simply the latest in a long string of the ways he’s shown his hatred.
Groaning to myself, I run my hands over my abdomen, inspecting the bruises he’d inflicted on my rib cage with his fists. Fucker is stronger than he used to be, that’s a fact. I shut my eyes, pinching my lips together as the truth of the situation rushes over me again: my goddamn asshole of a stepbrother is now living in Deveney Hall with me. He’s going to make my life a living nightmare. His antics in front of our coach is one thing, but trying to take Rya from me—that’s on another level. Dick. Thank fuck he doesn’t understand me or my relationship with Rya.
I turn, letting the water hammer my back for thirty seconds before giving up and cutting it off. This fucking sucks. That’s all there is to it. I dry off, then wrap the towel around my waist. Still grumbling to myself, I choose a sink and stare into the mirror for a few seconds and attempt to finger comb my hair into some semblance of submission.
One thing is for certain, I need to talk to Jaxon because there’d been nothing worse—except being worried about Rya all night—than getting a formal dressing-down by the baseball coach when he doesn’t know me yet. I heave out a heavy breath, closing my eyes as the humiliation I’d felt in Coach Kimball’s office resurfaces. He’d been seething mad, his disappointment palpable without him uttering a single word. It’d been ugly. How much he’d witnessed, I can’t quite remember, as I’d been purely focused on not getting my ass handed to me. But I was the one he’d had to wrench off Jaxon. And my stepbro had been the one with visible injuries.
At this moment in time, all Coach sees me as is the problematic new guy who punched a teammate in the face a couple of times.
Fuck.
Expelling a harsh breath, I head back to my room to put on some clothes. It’s time to confront the only person I’ve ever not gotten along with. Jesus, I’m even on decent terms with Jaxon’s dad, though he’s not my favorite because I don’t particularly like the way he is with my mother. And it was too soon. My dad hadn’t been gone long when she met him .
I give myself a shake as I enter the room I share with Levi. He’s at his desk—or rather, his feet are propped up on it—and his iPad rests on his lap. From this angle, I’d say he’s sketching something. “Hey,” I grunt out as I shut the door behind me and lean back against it.
“Ha. Well, fuck you, too.” Levi glances up and smirks, shooting me a wink.
“Sorry.” Since moving in together, Levi and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. We can give each other shit, no problem. All he means by the fuck you he just threw at me is that he can tell I’m pissy about something. It’s an invitation to speak my mind, otherwise, he wouldn’t have said a thing. “Been a rough day. I’m good.” With a sigh, I push away from the door and proceed to open one of the two freestanding closets in our room. I’m going to get dressed, then get some fucking answers.
“Does your rough day have anything to do with a certain stepbrother and your sweetheart doing who-knows-what in his room?”
I freeze for a moment, then snatch up a pair of joggers before shifting to shut the cabinet door. “What?” Stunned speechless, I can’t do anything more than stare at him.
Levi’s brow quirks up at my ignorance, an easy smile twitching at his lips. He lets loose a huffed chuckle. “I kinda wondered if you knew.”
My gut clenches into a hard knot. Surely, I didn’t hear him right. I run my free hand through my still-damp hair as I narrow my eyes on him. “What are you talking about?”
Studying me with a hint of bemused exasperation, my roommate tips his head to the side. “Rya, man. I was talking to Azriel when she walked past me, hand in hand with Jaxon. He took her down to the end of the hall and into his room.”
A cold sweat pops out on my skin, and my hands grow clammy. I hastily drop my towel, not a clue as to what my next move is. Bust my way into his room? Scenarios of what they could be doing alone together pop into my head and take hold. Fuck. No. Not him, Rya.
“Whoa, pal. Put the sin stick away.” Levi shoots me a comical look of horror before averting his eyes.
“What the hell do you think I’m doing?” I bark as I yank the joggers up my legs and over my ass. Not wasting time on locating a shirt, I pivot, jam my feet into my athletic slides, and whip the door open. The room Jaxon took her to is clearly the one that used to be occupied by Bryson. It’s a single room at the opposite end of the hall. At least I know where to find the bastard.
As I pass the door to the women’s bathroom, though, a body slams into me. The girl lets out a startled cry as I throw my hands out, grasping her biceps to steady her. “Sorry,” I mumble, then as we part, my eyes dart down. The messy bun is my first tip-off because I’d know it anywhere. How many times has she fallen asleep on my chest or leaned her head against my shoulder? Rya’s pretty green eyes stare up at me, a neat stack of clothing clutched against her chest.
My brain wants to explode inside my skull as a series of images dance across my vision. Jaxon stripping Rya out of her clothes. Jaxon touching her in places I’ve never touched her. Jaxon climbing on top of her. The bane of my existence fucking my best friend.
My chest heaves at the angst-inducing slideshow twisting its way through my mind, and all of a sudden, I find it difficult to swallow. All I want to do is shout, but instead, the thought screams inside my head. Don’t get involved with him! This is my worst nightmare, Rya with my jackass stepbro. Rya with anyone else is a nightmare, but Jaxon? It’s the worst of all possibilities. I bristle at the thought of her with him. I pointedly swing my gaze down the hall in the direction of his room. “Did he put his hands on you?” I rasp, voicing my worst fears.
A bewildered look crosses her face, and a crease forms directly down the center of her forehead as her brows draw together. “What? No. I’m fine.”
“What the hell is going on? Why were you with him, Rya?” The questions scratch and claw their way from my throat .
“My phone. I guess you didn’t manage to get it earlier, huh?” She waits, her lips pressed together and situated into a confused frown. “Jaxon had it, like you said. And from what he told me, you definitely found him. What gives?”
Her phone. Dammit. “I—” I stare at her, unsure what to say, especially since I have no fuckin’ clue what Jaxon told her about our altercation.
When I don’t immediately answer, she holds her hand up. “It’s okay. I got it back from him.”
My jaw works to the side at the same time I eye the clothing she hasn’t mentioned—it’s clear to me that it’s the top and jeans she’d been wearing last night that’d been replaced with… that fucking T-shirt. Makes total fucking sense now that he’d put that on her. Probably thought it’d be really fucking funny if I happened to see it. Motherfucker.
Rya wets her plush lips, attracting my full attention as her pink tongue slicks over them. And because I’m too wrapped up in wondering if they’re as soft as I think they might be, I’m not ready for her next question. She steps a bit closer to get my attention, then softly asks, “Logan, is it true you hit him?”
My eyes meet hers before crashing shut, and a breath jerks from my chest. “I’m sorry about your phone,” I grit out. “I had it. And then… I didn’t.” I throw my arms out fr om my sides, at a loss for how to explain things. “Shit happened,” I mumble. “Is that what he told you? That I hit him?”
“Not in so many words. But that’s kinda what I understood.” Rya shakes her head, dropping her gaze, but a moment later, she gasps. “Logan.” Her eyes are glued to the angry purple and blue on my rib cage. She reaches for me, her fingertips brushing over the bruised skin.
The warmth of her touch sends a jolt of need through my veins. I search her face, but she’s singularly focused on what she’s seeing in front of her, almost as if she’s in a trance. She lays her palm flat, skimming over the spot where Jaxon’s fist had hammered into my torso multiple times.
A long breath shudders from me, and I cover her hand before guiding it over my heart. Can she tell it’s thundering a violent, chaotic beat? The way she touches me is a danger to the delicate balance we’ve struck between friends and anything more. But I like it. Too much, maybe.
Dammit, I don’t want to wreck our friendship, but the thought of her with him might be what throws me over the edge. I’ll admit he’s a good-looking dude, so I get the appeal, but he’s an ass. How do I tell her she doesn’t know the real Jaxon? For that matter, will I ever be able to come clean about how I really feel about her? I’m certain after waiting so long it’d go over like a lead fucking brick. If we were to lose what we have, it might do me in. Why didn’t I clear things up back when she saw me kissing that guy at the Halloween party senior year? She thinks I’m gay and have no interest in her… and ever since, she’s let that one moment of discovery dictate her expectations of me.
The unfortunate truth is now I’m simply her gay friend. It’s why she’s fucking comfortable enough to whip off clothing in front of me. If she knew I’ve been watching with hungry eyes, she’d probably freak out.
Our friendship is built on what we have in common and all the things we like about each other, but the idea that I’m not interested in her? It’s nothing but a fucking lie. I’ve kept my feelings hidden away because I truly believe I’d risk losing her. I haven’t been forthright, and now, staring into her vibrant green eyes, all I can do is wonder why she’s never brought up the elephant in the room. Maybe she doesn’t know how. I sure as fuck don’t. So, because I’m too chicken shit to tell her I’ve been lying to her for over a year about what I feel, we’re stuck in this pattern. I wish like fuck I knew how to break us free of it.
Rya finally tears her hand from my body. “Where were you headed just now?” She blinks rapidly, but I can’t read her expression, can’t tell whether she’s upset with me or him or…? I simply don’t know.
I work my jaw to the side, hesitating to admit the truth. “I think you know. Levi told me he saw you. ”
Her voice catches for a second before she murmurs, “Logan, I promise I can handle myself.”
Yes. But can she handle Jaxon ? That’s the real fucking question. At this rate, I’m going to grind my teeth into dust with worry for her, not to mention jealousy. I gesture in the direction of his room. “It’s not just that, Rya. He’s fucking with me. It’s stepbrother stuff. I can’t even begin to explain it. He hasn’t liked me since the moment we met.” I close my eyes and draw in what I hope will be a deep cleansing breath. “I haven’t done anything to him. Until today, anyway.”
“But… you’ve both been at this school for an entire semester. Now there’s an issue?”
This situation and everything I can envision Jaxon pulling—it’s going to unhinge me. I see it plainly, so I hold my hands up and shrug. “I thought we were good, but—” No, I didn’t. Not really. Out of sight, out of mind, is more like it. “Look, there are a few things we need to work out so we can see eye to eye or we’re going to come to blows again.”
Her gaze flicks down again to my rib cage, and a hard swallow works along the column of her throat. She searches my eyes before whispering, “Maybe leave it alone for today. Can you talk to me instead?” She exhales harshly, “Or if you don’t want to talk about it, we’d planned to watch a movie, right? One last night before all the craziness of the semester begins?”
Air gusts from my lungs as I study her. It pains me that she thinks she has to protect me, especially from Jaxon. But hell, maybe she has a point. It’s possible I need to be saved from myself on this one. Slowly, I nod, agreeing reluctantly. “Yeah, okay.”
Holding her clothes with one arm, she loops the other through mine and grasps my bicep, giving it a squeeze. She rests her head against my arm as we walk together back toward our rooms “Your place or mine?”
A surprised laugh explodes from me. “Yours, I think. Levi’s…”
“Being Levi?” she questions with a laugh.
“Yeah,” I groan good-naturedly as we get to my door. “Lemme grab a shirt. I’ll be right there.”
She grins broadly. “Okay. I’ll pull up a movie on my laptop.” With that, she scoots down the hall. My gaze trails after her until she lets herself in and disappears from view.
Inside my own room, Levi looks up once again, not having moved since I left. “You find her?” he asks blandly before returning his attention to whatever he’s doodling.
“Yes. She’s fine. I’m gonna go watch a movie with her.”
His brow arches, but he maintains his focus, the Apple Pencil in his hand moving in sure, swift strokes over the screen. “You’re not, though.”
“I’m not what?” I pause with a frown before tugging a T-shirt down over my torso.
“Fine. You’re not fine, man. You’re all tense and in a shit mood because of your stepbro showing up. You told me you don’t get along with him. I assume that hasn’t changed.” He blows out a breath. “Seems like it’s probably about to get a whole lot worse. I was at the meeting earlier. Fucker was needling you.”
My lips part as I stare at my intuitive friend.
“Maybe not everyone could see it, but I sure as fuck could tell. He’s got it in for you. Watch yourself.” He shrugs, his blue eyes glittering intensely at me before refocusing on his drawing.
With my jaw twitching because he’s seen things so clearly, I turn on my heel, then yank the door open.
“See ya,” Levi calls out to me. “Have fun hanging out with that sweet thing. I applaud you, man. Must take a helluva lot of restraint keeping your hands to yourself with that one.”
“Fuck off,” I growl, irritated. Not because he’s being a dick but because he’s right.