Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
GABE
TEN YEARS AGO
My beer tastes like ash.
Frowning into my bottle, I look for embers that have blown from the fire and into my drink, but it’s too dark to see anything. Oh well.
I take another sip as I watch the bonfire crackle in front of me. Shouts rise up from behind me, followed by laughter. Everyone is just tipsy enough to think they’re all hilarious.
I’m usually right out there with them, but I can’t seem to get myself in the mood tonight. Jealousy that I don’t have a right to feel slithers inside my veins. She’s just my sister’s best friend—she isn’t mine to be jealous over. Yet as soon as the thought enters my head, I know it’s a lie.
She isn’t just my sister’s best friend. She never has been.
Hallie is in a category entirely her own, and watching Ethan shamelessly flirt with her is quickly driving me mad. There’s nothing I can do about it, though. I have no claim over her, and she has every right to do what she wants.
Besides, she doesn’t know how I feel. Maybe she suspects it—I did almost kiss her a few months ago—but she isn’t the type to make the first move. If she even feels the same way I do.
Someone sits down on the log beside me. The slight breeze carries their perfume with it, and I’m instantly enveloped in Hallie’s signature scent. I glance sideways at her, noticing the way the firelight illuminates the flush of her cheeks.
She’s always blushing, and I’m always trying to think of a hundred more ways to make her.
I knock my knee against hers. “What are you doing over here?”
She shrugs before wrapping her arms around her middle, hugging herself. “You seemed kinda lonely. I thought I’d come keep you company.”
“Everyone’s here to see you, not me. You should be with the group.”
Her nose scrunches in distaste. “Yeah, but they’re making me the centre of attention.”
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s your birthday party, Foster. You’re supposed to be the centre of attention.”
She huffs. “But I don’t want to be.” She shakes her head as she gives me a shy smile. “Clara was really excited about your parents being away this weekend. This whole thing was her idea. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t be spending my birthday like this.”
My mouth turns down into a frown at that. “Why didn’t you tell her? She wouldn’t have invited everyone if she knew how much you didn’t want it.”
Hallie chews on her bottom lip. “I know. She just got really into the planning and trying to make it fun. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.”
I sigh. Now isn’t the time to push back against those ridiculous thoughts, so I move on.
“What does your ideal birthday look like, then?” I ask. Anything to keep her talking, and to take that vulnerable look off her face.
I didn’t think it possible, but her cheeks seem to turn even pinker. “You’re gonna think it’s lame.”
The breeze picks up, sending a strand of Hallie’s hair flying into her face. Before I can think better of it, I reach out and tuck it back behind her ear. I have the strongest urge to leave my hand there—to cup her jaw and bring her face close to mine and just fucking kiss her already.
I shake my head as I pull my hand back. “I don’t think anything you do is lame.”
“Well, um—” Her eyes dart away. “I would probably just have dinner with Pops and then watch my favourite rom-com. Nothing big.”
“So you’d watch 10 Things I Hate About You for the millionth time.” I nod, trying to keep my teasing grin at bay. “Got it.”
Hallie shoves at my shoulder, but she laughs. “It’s a good movie, okay?”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Quiet settles over us, but it’s the nice kind. The kind I can only seem to find with Hallie. My friends are great and all, but they aren’t her. And when she looks at me, there’s no pressure behind her gaze. No questions about what I plan to do with my uncertain future.
Eventually, though, I break the silence. “Are you gonna say yes?” I ask. I can’t help myself—it’s the whole reason I was over here by myself and not even pretending to be having a good time.
Hallie frowns in confusion. “Yes to what?”
“To Ethan.” I look back at the group and find our classmate laughing at something Connor said. “I heard him ask you out earlier.”
“ Oh .”
I pick at the label on my bottle, avoiding her gaze.
If I look at her, she’ll be able to see the envy in my expression, and that’s not fair.
Knowing her, she’ll feel guilty for how I feel and do everything in her power to make it better.
Even if it means saying no to a date she really wants to go on.
“No, I don’t think so.”
I look at her now, surprised. “Why not?”
“You think I should?”
It’s my turn to shrug. “If you like him, you should go for it.” Even if seeing them together would fucking gut me.
“I…don’t want to go out with Ethan.”
“You don’t?”
She shakes her head. The words are on the tip of my tongue—the urge to ask her who she does want to go out with. If maybe that someone could be me. But, like always, I chicken out.
Still, the relief is overwhelming. I like Ethan well enough, but I’m sure as shit not sorry Hallie doesn’t have a thing for him. Maybe that makes me a shitty person, but I don’t care.
I drain my bottle, then set it on the ground and push to stand. Holding a hand out for Hallie, I say, “Come with me.”
She blinks, her long lashes fanning against her cheeks. God, she’s so fucking pretty . I have to stop myself from actively staring at her, but I could easily do it all day.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“Trust me?”
She places her hand in mine and lets me pull her to her feet. “I trust you, Gabe.”
Hand in hand, we start across the yard, back toward the house. The party continues behind us, everyone too engrossed in themselves to notice that we’re gone. I expect her to pull her palm out of mine, but when she doesn’t, I tighten my grip. She squeezes back in reply.
The house is dark when we reach it. Our parents are away, and Luke is who knows where.
He took off after unloading the beer our sister convinced him to buy for us, which leaves me and Clara home alone for the night.
I’m grateful for their absence, because I know I wouldn’t have had this opportunity with Hallie otherwise.
I lead her into the living room and gesture for her to sit on the couch. Then I walk over to the shelf in the corner and pull a DVD case from it.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“You’ll see.”
I queue up the DVD and then I join Hallie. She keeps watching me as I grab the remote and turn the TV on. When the opening credits to 10 Things I Hate About You begin to play, she shakes her head.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she says quietly.
I’m surprised the disc isn’t scratched to hell from the amount of times that Hallie and Clara have watched it, but I’m thankful. Thankful for anything that puts that content expression on her face.
I turn to look at her. “Happy birthday, Foster.”
She smiles. “Thank you, Gabriel.”
Reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch, I drape it over our laps. Hallie shifts, trying to get comfortable. I hold my arm out, letting her settle against my side. She does, then lets out a little sigh.
Tell her how you feel .
I want to. So many times, I’ve thought about saying the words. Laying it all out. But there’s risk in that. If I tell her, I disrupt the careful balance we’ve been maintaining for years. Is it worth it?
Yes.
But what if it’s not?
I rest my cheek against the top of her head. Her hair smells like bonfire smoke instead of her usual apple scent. But pressed against me, she’s soft and warm. She feels like home.
It isn’t long before Hallie falls asleep with her head on my chest. I don’t dare move. And then I find myself drifting off after her.