27. Now
Chapter 27
Now
T he fundraiser begins right at sundown with a slideshow video from the American Heart Association sharing the importance of knowing what sudden cardiac arrest can look like, helpful resources, and how to get CPR certified.
For a town as chaotic as Sloane, it can be hard to capture adequate attention to command a room, but Carrie does it with ease. When she walks to the microphone, a hush falls on the room. “Hello. Thank you all for joining us this evening. My name is Carrie Cole, and I lost my husband, Eric, six years ago after he suffered a cardiac arrest while driving. One day, he was healthy—young, active, no history of heart disease, and then the next, he wasn’t here anymore.” She sniffles.
Jade nods to encourage her mama to keep going.
“It’s taken me a long time to grieve his passing—I don’t know that I’ll ever be done grieving if I’m being honest. We were together for twenty-five years. Twenty-five years, can you believe it? We had three beautiful children together. When he passed, I was lost. We all were in different ways. Grief isn’t linear. It isn’t logical. And it certainly isn’t the same for everyone. It took me a while to realize that each of our reactions was normal and that we each needed different things, even if we didn’t get it at the time.”
I didn’t get it then, either, but I do now. Jade tried to find what her parents had with the wrong partner, Jack ran to the military, and Jase pushed me away—they did all of this because it was safer than getting hurt again. It’s always safer to run than risk getting hurt again.
Jase reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips. We’re not running again.
Carrie continues, “We were so focused on what we lost that it took us a long time to realize Eric was still with us in different ways. He’s in every recipe I make … I mean, honestly, he is. He wrote notes on each recipe in our cookbook, so I can’t screw anything up.”
This elicits some chuckles.
“He gave Jade the courage to stand up for herself and what she deserves.”
Jade smiles at Jimmy. He winks back.
“He gave Jack his love of the Peace Corps, and he taught Jase to catch fireflies, which he still does from time to time. He’s all around us, and if he had one thing to say, it’d be that life is too short. Say what you need to say, don’t hold anything in or back, tell your loved ones what they mean to you with your whole being, take care of yourself, and take care of each other, even when it’s not easy. Especially, when it’s not easy. Thank you.”
The room erupts in applause. There isn’t a dry eye in the house when Carrie steps away from the podium.
Dad wheels over to me. “Hey, Kate, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
Jase eyes me. “You okay?”
I nod. I’ll be fine. “Sure. Let’s go sit down.”
He parks at a nearby table. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s great to see you.”
“A few months ago, I couldn’t imagine us having this conversation, or any conversation, to be honest.”
He lowers his head. “Me either.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the last few times I’ve seen you, actually, and Carrie’s right about one thing: life is way too short. If lightning came down and struck us tomorrow, I wouldn’t want our relationship to end like that.”
“Me either,” he cries. “I love you, Kate.”
I nod but don’t say anything back.
He continues, “You and your mama are everything to me. I’m sorry for all the years I didn’t say it … or said the opposite. I’d love the chance to prove how much you mean to me now.”
I gulp. “I’m not sure I can forgive you or trust you to be honest., If I said otherwise, it’d be a lie. Maybe one day that will change.”
His shoulders sag.
“In the meantime, I’m choosing to let go of the anger and resentment. I’ve held onto them for a long time, and it’s been eating me inside. I can’t do that anymore. I need to be at peace with knowing we’ll never get back the time we lost, and you’ll never be who I needed you to be growing up—but I hope, in the future, you will be.”
He places his hand on mine, and I let him.
Jase strolls over and tilts his head. “Everything okay?”
A heavy weight dissipates from my chest, and I sigh. “Surprisingly, yes. Letting go of what I can’t control and working on what I can.”
He places a gentle kiss on my forehead and sits down next to me. “I’m proud of you.”
I lean into him and focus on the steady beat of his heart. I could get used to this.
Before we leave Sloane, Jase nudges my shoulder. “Hey, Kay, I have something for you.”
I shift my gaze up to his eyes. “What’s that?”
Standing, he wiggles his hips, like he would do as a teasing teen. “You’ll see.” Ushering me outside, Jase hands me a jar. “Come on.”
I smile and follow him into the woods, right to our spot. It’s just as beautiful as it’s always been, with its calm water, deep dark sky above with a flash every so often from the fireflies that surround us.
I catch one in my jar, and when I turn around to show Jase, he’s on one knee with a diamond ring.
My eyes fill.
“Kate Elizabeth Dailey, I’ve loved you since I was six years old, and I promise I’ll love you every day from now until forever. Will you marry me?”
A lightning bug lands on the ring. A sign if I’ve ever seen one.
“Jason Everett Cole, my mama’s known you were trouble since we were six years old.”
He smiles. “Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes.”
I guess you can still meet the guy next door, fall in love, and live happily ever after, after all.