Chapter 1
ONE
5 YEARS LATER
JUNIPER
I scowled at my face in the bathroom mirror.
Kit was sick.
For the first time ever, I was going to my heat alone.
And something was going round, because the pack we’d scheduled to meet me at the Safe House had called in sick as well.
I wiped my hands on my dress again, forcing myself to take another deep breath. It didn’t do much to calm the jittering nerves in my stomach. It was going to be alright, even with Kit absent, because I was having my heat at the Safe House.
I’d started the Safe House with Kit and Daisy, another gold pack omega we’d befriended out here. It was a heat house; a safe place for omegas to ride out their heat, however they wanted to do it.
I preferred not to do any of the organizing for my own heat, but this was an emergency. When you’re poor, heats don’t take rain checks. I’d had to grit my teeth and send out a slew of requests for a backup pack, and I’d only gotten one response.
This pack had passed our background check, at least. I did extensive research on anything that could put us in danger before adding any pack to the Safe House list. You didn’t fuck around with alphas when you had gold eyes, even if that gold was hidden by contacts.
Once a pack was screened and approved, we scheduled a meeting with Kit and me.
Kit’s job with the alphas was to win them over. His scent was like magic; it just tangled with everyone he met and drew them to him. He paired perfectly with it; his soft smiles, his gentle touches, his eyes that practically begged someone to take care of him. The way he walked with his hands in his sleeves, or sat hunched while hugging his knees. Within the first five minutes, he had every pack we met wrapped around his little finger.
My job was to assess them in person and keep an eye out for any red flags. All I had to do was to keep my mouth shut. I just blinked stupidly at any questions, Kit would jump in, and bam, I’d be labelled a bimbo and they’d move on. It was kind of insulting how often it worked. This pack would be the first one Kit hadn’t met.
The Safe House was currently in an ancient, sprawling bungalow; we moved every month for safety. There was an armed host omega on duty at all times, and Daisy’s pack dads were on call if things got rough.
Daisy—or Lila, as she went by in the Safe House—was on host duty, sitting in the living room and watching a romcom on the TV.
I paced back to the room I’d chosen for tonight, picked up my phone, and then put it down again.
Don’t look.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, pouring myself a shot. I couldn’t settle. Couldn’t nest. Kit wasn’t here. We’d always been at each other’s heats.
This was going to be a long few days without him.
He promised he’d come as soon as he felt better, but he followed that up by puking into the toilet, so my hopes weren’t high.
I couldn’t resist the urge this time, and opened my phone. I re-scanned the details of the pack coming tonight, downing the shot to soothe my nerves.
The Argo pack. Ez, Adrian, Vander and Jhin.
Like a lot of the omegas here, I gave a fake name and preferred not to know who my heat helpers were, but as I’d had to reschedule myself, I had no choice but to look at their profiles.
They were handsome. Of course they were. I flicked through their pictures again. Ez was the smallest, with elf-like features and a cheery smile.
Adrian’s eyes were the same shape as Ez’s but they were darker, and his smile was more subdued.
Jhin, the pack lead, was not smiling. His serious expression and dark eyes were framed by black, shoulder-length hair.
Vander was the last and the most interesting. His eyes were a pale, ice-blue, but I kept coming back to him because he was scowling in his picture.
I glanced in the mirror again, my pale face staring back at me. It was always strange to see my eyes when I was wearing the color-changing contacts. They were green before I’d become a gold pack, but the contacts made them a dark brown. Should I put my hair up? Did it look limp like this?
I cut the questions off with a frown. Who cared if they thought I was pretty? They’d seen my picture. They were here for one thing—to knot my brains out—and that’s all that mattered. A wave of cramping in my belly confirmed that I needed it.
I glanced down at Vander’s expression, his scowl, to remind myself of that.
“Bella! Your pack’s here!” Daisy called from the hall, using my heat name. I stood, taking a breath and wiping my hands on my dress.
I deliberately didn’t look at myself as I went to answer.
Entering the living room, I walked over, trying to ignore the twinge of insecurity about my scent. I think I must have fucked it up after my father died, and the sourness never faded, no matter my mood. I always got tense meeting new alphas because some people were real dicks about it.
Four pairs of eyes flicked over to me, curious. I got closer, tensing for their reaction to my scent. One of them—Adrian?—stood up straighter, a flush creeping across his cheeks. He was taller than me, with tanned skin and soft, messy brown hair. He had large, honey brown eyes that made his face kind of sweet. Vander had twitched, his pupils blown wide and obscuring the icy blue of his irises. He had bleached blond hair that hung over his face and thick brows that were still drawn in a frown. The small one, Ez, was bouncing on his feet, his golden hair framing a sharp, mischievous face. He had the same large eyes as Adrian, but his were a golden-green, almost matching his hair.
Jhin, the pack lead, had taken a deep breath, closing his eyes. When they snapped open, they caught mine and for a second an intense hunger crossed his pale face, making my knees feel unsteady with desire. It was gone as quickly as it came, schooled back into a blank politeness. He was the tallest and had a lean frame.
I stiffened as I scented them as well. I was used to alpha scents, and how my body reacted to them, but this was something else. They were intoxicating, ramping my body into overdrive, causing another cramp to wrack my frame. It took everything in my power not to throw myself at them and start tearing their clothes off, the strength of the urge terrifying me.
I needed Kit to ground me, but it was just me.
Shit, this was bad .
Daisy was up to greet them, giving them a run-down of the rules and security. We never said there were gold pack here, but fancy plush omegas who could safely get to the proper heat clinics never came to us.
Tony, the Safe House driver, gave me a nod. No alphas came in or out without Tony driving them in circles before coming here.
“Good evening," said the tallest one, drawing my attention back to the alphas in front of me. It was Jhin, the pack lead. “You must be Bella.” His voice made my head spin slightly, formal and smooth, as he gave me his full attention. No Kit to hide behind. He was holding something out to me, and I blinked at it.
Flowers.
Right. We hadn’t met them, so they didn’t know my rules. Nothing beyond the agreement. No pretending this was anything other than what it was.
And this was why, because the small gesture was making my stomach flip.
They’d brought these for me? They’d taken the time to pick them out? It was a nice bunch, too, not one of the tiny, cheap ones from the grocery store.
I shoved down the butterflies with a flare of rage and snatched the bouquet from his hands, whirling around and throwing it on the counter like it might bite me. I took a deep breath, grounding myself.
Assholes. They shouldn’t be doing that to me.
“You can come in,” I said, leading them into the kitchen.
I risked a glance at the nearest one—Ez, I remembered—and he gave me a stunning smile that made my heart flip.
Fuck him.
“You run this place?” asked Jhin. Great. I must have contacted them from the main email address, where I always made it very clear I was in charge. I wanted to protect the others in case we ever got into any trouble.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “Have a drink or whatever. I’ll go set up.”
I practically fled from the room, breathing fast, and dove into the heat nest, wrapping my arms around my aching stomach.
My phone buzzed.
Daisy: Need a red light? You seem way off, J 3
I typed back quickly.
Me: Thanks, but I’m good.
Daisy: K. Just ping if u need me.
I just needed to get this over with.
My body was burning up and I needed touch. And fuck, not just touch, but their touch. Now I’d seen them in person, my brain had a lot more fodder to fantasize about.
I whimpered, temperature spiking, and I knew they’d come in at any second, invitation or not, because they were alphas and that’s what they did.
But there was nothing. I dragged myself up, looking at the door, annoyance irrationally spiking in my brain.
Did I have to go and get them?
How dare they be so polite. Now I had to stand up again and drag my heavy feet to the door. I gripped the frame, peering out at them, forgetting what I was supposed to say. Each of their names popped into my head, but I refused to use them.
“Alpha.” Was what I ended up croaking, and footfalls were hurrying towards me.
A firm hand touched my shoulder, and I was surrounded by watermelon lemonade. I looked up to find myself lost in Ez’s pale green eyes.
I wanted to reach up and touch him, fall into him, and also slap him for making me feel like that. I wasn’t supposed to be losing my mind yet, not with a single touch.
I gripped his arm tightly as my vision went spotty, and another wave of heat hit me.
“Nest,” I hissed, looking into his eyes. Then, I was being swept up, pressed against blessedly cool skin, and their scents surrounded me.
VANDER
Ez glanced back at his reflection in the car window as we exited the car. He was a ball of excited nerves, his messy golden hair flying everywhere as he practically bounced down the path.
“Do you think she’ll be able to tell?” he asked Adrian.
“Tell what?” Adrian replied, folding his arms.
“You know. That we’ve never done this before,” Ez said, keeping his voice low as the driver led us up the stony path.
“We’re not virgins, Ez,” I snapped.
“We’re heat virgins,” he continued. “What if we fuck it up?”
“I don’t think that’s possible. Is it?” asked Adrian, sounding a bit worried.
I tried to tune them out. I’d been ambushed this morning, hunkered down in our shared bedroom, ready to spend another day staring at the ceiling. Jhin had sat down on his bed, folded his hands and announced we’d signed up as heat helpers tonight. He hadn’t taken no for an answer, made me shower and next thing I’d known, we were being driven out here.
I was fucking pissed.
We had reached the door, but Jhin stopped us before we entered the building.
“Just give us a moment,” he said to the older alpha who’d driven us here. The alpha nodded, keeping an eye on us as Jhin pulled us to the side.
“Look, I want to go over expectations.”
I scowled. Ez nodded, his attention already sliding back to the house, getting an elbow to the ribs from Adrian.
“I want everyone on their best behavior,” Jhin continued. Ez nodded again, bouncing on his feet.
“Vander,” Jhin said, and I glared at him. He was taller than all of us, and though he was strong, his muscles were more lean. He had shoulder-length black hair and a pointed face that kind of made him look like an elven king. Not that I’d ever say that out loud.
“I’m always on my best behavior,” I said flatly.
Jhin rubbed his eyes, sighing again. “That means you’ll be polite. No ignoring her. No snapping. No glaring.”
I glared. “I’m not a child.”
“I know you’re not a child. However, you do have a tendency to rub people the wrong way.”
My mood darkened. I was finally going to see Jhin naked, see what he looked like when he fucked, when he came….
“I worked very hard to get us this chance. Don’t mess it up,” Jhin said simply.
“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even want to come here.” I folded my arms.
“We are here for you, Vander. I’ve respected your wishes to avoid this as long as possible, but as you continue to keep your bond closed down… The doctor said a release of sexual energy would be therapeutic.”
“ You always have your bond locked down,” I shot back. I ignored the other point. Jhin’s lips thinned. We’d already had this argument multiple times.
“ I am not going into frequent ruts and straining our pack bond," he replied. I suppressed a flinch. That’s what it came down to, really. Our pack bond had been getting more and more unstable since it had formed, and it was all because of me. It was getting so much worse lately, and this was likely one of Jhin’s last-ditch efforts to stabilize it.
“I’m allowed my privacy,” I said. I couldn’t tell them why. Oh yes, I’m miserable and I’m destroying the bond because I’m fucking obsessed with you, Jhin. It was fucking torture, living life so close to him. We shared a room, for fuck’s sake.
“Yes. I’m not going to force you to open up. However, none of this is the fault of the omega we’re about to meet. So just… do your best to not offend her.”
“Fine,” I spat. I’d just keep my mouth shut.
“So, we good? We can go in now?” Ez asked, trying to catch Jhin’s eye.
“Very well," he replied, and Ez practically sprinted back to the house.
The alpha who was watching us knocked on the door, and a pretty, dark-skinned omega opened it.
“Hi. I’m, um, Lila . I’m the host of the Safe House. Bella will be along shortly," she said, ushering us in. She had the clinical, sharp smell of scent dampeners.
She turned and called out towards the kitchen and then started running us through the rules. Jhin had already gone through them three times with us on the way over. Ez was nodding absently and craning his neck trying to catch a glimpse of this Bella . Probably wasn’t even her real name. We were deep in the Gritch here, and this didn’t look like a sanctioned program.
There were some gentle footsteps as she came in from the kitchen, her feet bare and a silky dress wrapped around her tall frame.
She was beautiful, of fucking course, with pale, delicate skin and rosy cheeks. Her black hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was looking at us with wide, suspicious eyes.
Surprisingly, she looked just as pissed as I felt, and for a second, I wondered if this was the right omega after all. But then her perfume wafted close enough for us to scent.
Cherries had been written on her profile, but that description was lacking.
It was a sour, tangy scent that filled my nose. Omega scents soured often with their moods, making them smell off, but hers was nicely balanced with the sweetness. There were traces of something else too, some kind of candied nut, almost indetectable.
It was heavy, thick, and for a moment the world seemed to shift. The only thing I could focus on was her. Everything else became background noise. I hadn’t been prepared to want her this much, but I did. I wanted to take her and rip off that dress, to hold her down as she panted beneath me and see if I could shatter that icy glare of hers. My heart was pounding, my brain on alert, and I felt alive for the first time in forever. Like I’d woken up.
I wasn’t the only one affected; all of our scents sharpened in the air in response to her.
Her nostrils flared as she scented us, hands gripping the silky dress as her mouth parted slightly. Then her expression shifted, darkening into a glower.
There was a moment of silence as she stared—glared at us. The omega who had greeted us stepped back, her intro speech finished. Despite Bella’s murderous look, Lila didn’t appear disturbed.
“Good evening,” Jhin said smoothly. “You must be Bella.”
He held out the flowers Adrian had picked, and she just stared at him for a second before her eyes lowered to the bouquet. She snatched it from his hands and turned, walking further inside.
She threw down the flowers on the table like they’d stung her.
“You can come in," she said, not really turning to us while she waved us into the kitchen.
She was sharp. Sharp scent, sharp voice, sharp curves on her slender body.
Ez caught Adrian’s eye and grinned, almost bouncing past him as he tried to follow her to the kitchen, impervious to the murderous vibes she was giving off.
Jhin yanked him back and stepped in smoothly with a vise-like grip on his arm, leading us toward her.
She muttered something about water before she left to set up.
She practically fled to the first door off the corridor, leaving behind an intoxicating smell of cherries.
“She’s giving off very mixed signals,” Adrian said, glancing worriedly at the flowers.
Jhin shrugged.
“This is very last minute. She’s probably stressed.”
Jhin thought that because he was stressed that it was last minute.
“I would be too if I opened the door to Vander’s ugly face,” Ez said, his mischievous eyes darting to me. Once, I’d have smacked him for saying something like that, and it’d often devolve from there until we were wrestling on the floor. It had been a long time since we’d done that, though, and instead I snorted.
“D’you think she’ll change her mind?” Adrian asked.
I wasn’t worried. I smelled her when she saw us. She was definitely interested, so it was a real asshole move to act so cold.
“Did she want us to follow her?” Adrian asked, looking uncertain.
“We’ll wait,” Jhin said.
A low whine came from the room that made all of us twitch toward it, followed by more perfume. Ez took half a step, then raised an eyebrow at Jhin.
“We’ll wait," he said again, letting a bit more force into it. Ez rocked on his feet.
How was she setting up? Had she shed the dress yet?
I was picturing her sitting up on a dark bed; the dress hanging loosely off her shoulders. Open at the front, baring her smooth skin, and her long legs tucked underneath her. My heart was racing, and I stifled a swallow as I imagined her moving, looking up at us with hooded, dark eyes, her thighs coated with slick as the dress fell from her frame?—
A slender hand wrapped around the doorframe, and her porcelain face came into view, expression pinched.
“Alpha,” she said, and instead of looking angry now, she looked concerned. As she stood there, her expression shifted into pain.
My instinct reared up, and I took a step toward her. Couldn’t let her be hurt. Even if just for this heat, she was ours. To care for. To protect.
I tamped down the urge. Violently.
Ez was at her side, though, his hand resting on her arm, steadying her, because of course he was.
For a moment, it worked. She looked up at him, and that sharpness was gone. But then it returned; her hand gripped Ez’s arm, tight, and the red spots on her face bloomed. Her sharp scent perfumed into the room, and she let out a small gasp, her knees buckling.
Ez caught her, Adrian by his side, and Jhin was hovering. I twitched forward, once again feeling the powerful urge to be close, to touch her, to help her.
“Nest," she hissed, her fingers digging into Ez’s arm hard enough they’d leave a mark.
Fuck, would she do that in bed? Images of her clawing my skin, fingers pulling my head back, tugging my hair as she mounted me, surged straight to my already rigid cock.
This was insane. I was losing my mind, and we’d only been here five minutes. There was no way that fucking shrink was right.
The others laid down with her, proper alpha positions, letting their skin touch hers. I sat down on the bed, but lingered at the side, trying to keep my head straight.
She was panting, searching for something, her hand fumbling in the air.
“J—Jhin,” she managed. Jhin shifted, kneeling above her. An ugly surge of jealousy and longing hit me as I watched them, and shockingly, I didn’t know who I was jealous of .
She wasn’t like anything I’d imagined. I’d expected someone sweet and simpering, or annoyingly needy. She’d greeted us with a cold demeanour that could rival mine, though Jhin was getting the pleasure of using his touch to crack her icy mask.
“Bella,” Jhin said quietly, and her eyes met his, crackling with energy. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes," she snarled, and she was grabbing his shirt, tugging him down on the bed. He spread his arms around her, and one of her long legs wrapped around him as he met her glare with a level gaze. He always kept cool. He’d weathered me through so many rages, always there, always calm.
“Supposed to be fucking me right now.” She was tugging at the sash on her dress, and it came loose, falling off her and exposing her pale form to the dim light. She had long, elegant collarbones, and small, pert breasts with matching nipples. Her slim waist ended at sharp hip bones that held a surprisingly round ass. Ez shifted, his eyes wide, and I stared, unable to stop myself from moving closer, wanting to take one of those dusky nipples into my mouth and hear her moan. Adrian’s face was bright red, and he didn’t seem to know where to look.
Jhin, somehow, had not yet ripped off his pants and sunk deep into her waiting heat.
“You don’t seem to be enjoying this," he was using his stern voice. Fuck. He did use it in bed. My cock throbbed as I imagined him hovering over me, telling me to behave.
His gaze flicked to me, then the others, and he looked like he was about to move away.
Thankfully, the omega actually snarled at him, and wriggled down the bed. She was muttering furiously to herself as she yanked down his pants. I caught a glimpse of his long, hard cock before it was caught in her pretty mouth. Her eyes held his as she sucked, and fuck, she sucked him deep .
Would he break? Would he come apart and groan and fuck her mouth?
His pupils were fully dilated, his hand moving down to tangle in her hair. He seemed reverent as he stared at her, panting. I was already leaking, the sight too much; of her and him and their scent in the air.
“Okay, dude, come on—” Ez said, pushing Adrian down the bed. Probably for the best; left on his own, the timid alpha would otherwise hover nervously on the side the whole time. He shot a panicked look at Ez, who pointed furiously at his pants.
Adrian pulled them off, hands shaking, and then knelt on the bed between her legs. Her foot nudged him closer.
“Dude. You are two seconds away from losing this chance,” Ez hissed. Adrian leaned closer, his breath exhaling in a rush as his eyes roamed over her body.
Her leg wrapped around him as he took his length in his hand.
He groaned, biting his lip as he guided himself to her. She came off Jhin’s cock long enough to let out a beautiful gasp of pleasure, drawing another groan from Adrian as he pushed inside. I watched as Jhin cupped her chin, guiding her mouth back onto him in a firm command. My dick twitched, and I bit my lip, hard.
I couldn’t resist any longer—I moved to her chest, my hand skimming over her smooth skin before cupping her small breast in my hand. Fuck, from this angle I could see her tongue slide up Jhin’s cock, see her lick up the shaft. I groaned and leaned down, sucking her hard nipple into my mouth.
I’d arrived here determined to make sure she was an afterthought; a chore at worst and dismissible at best. How dare she be so fucking showstopping.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
I was throbbing, leaking, painfully stiff, and couldn’t help but rut desperately against the sheets as she released Jhin again, letting out the most perfect moans. His tip was resting against her bottom lip, and I shuddered as he took it in one hand and pumped once. I came as he did, gripping desperately to the sheets as the omega latched onto him, sucking as he emptied himself into her mouth.
Fuck her.
She had everything I ever wanted.