Chapter Eight
landon
I needed the cold shower. I didn’t want to be affected by her. I didn’t want to like her or enjoy her presence, and yet she made me feel normal in ways my guitar didn’t. Janae had an infectious, playful energy that eased my usual discomfort with people I considered strangers. She’d slept in my bed twice, and I’d been able to relax enough to sleep. I’d become accustomed to sleeping alone, and having a woman who insisted on curving her body to mine had been unnerving, to say the very least. I was thirty-one years old, and my body still responded like a teenager’s because a woman flirted with me in my bed. I believed in order and structure, and Janae welcomed chaos. Still, I was pleased she’d sought me out last night and hadn’t wanted to leave.
The water raining over me and cooling off my heated skin helped bring logic, not emotion, back to the forefront. Women had always been challenging to navigate. On the surface, I understood why they were attracted to me outside of my success. As the only child of two well-known musicians, I’d had unwanted attention most of my young life. With my hazel eyes and features considered handsome, cameras loved me whenever I held the hand of either of my parents or played the trumpet or piano.
As I grew older, my discomfort became a nuisance and then an embarrassment to my parents, who finally decided to keep me from the public eye. When I re-emerged as a talented musician in my own right and as the leader of a soul band, not the classical, Juilliard-trained musician they’d raised me to be, my tendency to shy away from interviews and perform with my head bowed only made me more of a mystery like a puzzle to solve. Except I was a simple man whose only complexity was processing the world differently than others.
When I first met Cedrick, I’d wished I were more like him. Charismatic and bold. He knew what to say or do in any situation without much thought. I envied his arrogance and assurance with women that extended beyond the bedroom. He would have had sex with Janae by now and not thought twice about it. Meanwhile, I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, trying to build my inner confidence through the outer version of me. The outer me was a fit, virile man with intense eyes and an orthodontic-fixed smile that I’d been told transformed my face on the rare times others had noticed. The inner me warred for peace whenever I experienced discomfort around others, wondering if they could see the scared boy I’d been and, in some ways, still was.
“Everything okay?” Janae called.
I looked around the bathroom. I’d forgotten to bring another outfit in and didn’t want to wear the shorts I’d slept in. “Grab me a T-shirt and shorts.”
“You didn’t say ‘please.’” She giggled. “Get them yourself. I’ve seen your body.”
I gripped the counter. “Janae. I’m serious.”
A minute later, she knocked on the door. I hurriedly wrapped a towel around my waist and opened it wide enough to take the clothes from a smirking Janae, whose lusty gaze heated my chest and abs. I shut the door, donned the cargo shorts and red T-shirt, and prayed that a fully dressed Janae waited on the other side.
“Are you dressed yet? I need to rinse my mouth and wash my face. Is there an extra toothbrush?”
“No.” I reluctantly opened the door, and a still-dressed Janae pushed past me.
She grabbed my toothpaste and moved to the left side of the double vanity. “Just use the other sink,” she said.
“So… so distracting.” Teasing flowed from my mouth without thought. The ease with which she shared my space soothed my nerves.
“Everything seems to distract you,” Janae wryly commented, meeting my gaze in the mirror. She washed her hands before pressing the tube from the center.
I took it from her hand and moved the paste from the bottom. “You’re messing up my toothpaste. There’s a right way to do this.”
“I see that you’re particular about your things.” She mocked me with a fake British accent as she held her index finger out for me to spread the Colgate on the tip.
“I’m sure you have a certain way you’d do things, too, if I were in your space.”
She looked around the tidy bathroom. “Probably not. I’m pretty open. My place is a mess until the maid service cleans it. I bet you don’t need a maid.”
“I don’t like strangers in my space.”
She smiled. “You seem comfortable with my being here.”
Electricity crackled between us as she looked at me with flirty eyes. I leaned my back against the other counter and pushed the travel-size mouthwash toward her. “What type of song do you want to do with The Hollow Bones? Our styles are not compatible.”
Janae opened the mouthwash. “They don’t have to be. Think eclectic, like ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ and Meg’s ‘Mamushi.’ We can combine our styles. I might rap, hop it up, or keep it soulful. Or a combination. I usually decide my flow in the moment while I listen to the bomb beats or the notes that you create. The best music comes out of a jam session.”
My creative juices flooded with possibility, and I couldn’t help my anticipatory grin. “You write most of your songs?”
She nodded. “I may not be able to play any instrument, but I have an ear for music. I usually collaborate on some of the riffs and hooks. The lyrics are mostly mine.” Janae brushed the paste on her teeth with her finger and then used the mouthwash.
“We’ve never written and recorded an original song with another artist. We usually play in the background or create and collaborate with an artist if we want a singer. We could write and compose the song and let you sing it. They might go for it then.”
Janae turned on the water to spit in the sink, and I passed her one of the hand towels stacked neatly on the marble counter. She wiped her mouth. “No. It has to be a true collaboration, or I’m not doing it.”
I tilted my head. “If you want it to happen, you may not have a choice.”
She shrugged. “Then I won’t do it. My voice matters, too.”
“You’re coming to us, and now we’re the bigger artist,” I pointed out.
Janae frowned. “I’m fully aware that the power has shifted. I allowed my voice to be silenced in the industry, and I won’t anymore. Take it or leave it.”
“Then we leave it as a tour only. We are a band who makes our own music. Period. But I’m not and won’t ever shut down your voice simply because you’re a woman.” I bristled. “I’m not that chauvinistic dude who can’t see the talent in a woman outside her sex appeal. Do you know who my mother is?”
“Sorry.” She grabbed my wrist, stopping me from leaving the bathroom. “I know we can make magic happen together. The way you play that guitar hits me in the pit of my soul. Those chords you struck for my song bolted through me like electricity and had the audience begging for more. Where did you learn to play like that?”
I bit back my prideful smile. “Natural gift, with some training. I have two musically inclined parents who pushed the piano, violin, and trumpet on me. The guitar pulled me despite their best intentions to make me a jazz or classical musician.”
Her eyes widened. “You play all those instruments?”
“Once you learn the piano, skills generalize to the other ones.” I jammed my hands in my pockets. “I need to talk to Cedrick and the guys.”
She clasped her hands together. “Does this mean that you’re on board?”
“Doesn’t matter if the rest say no.” My stomach grumbled its hunger. “I need to eat.”
“Is that your way of asking me to breakfast?” She followed me out of the bathroom.
“Are you hungry?”
She grinned. “I can eat.”
“ Antwone Fisher .”
She smiled wider. “Yep. I loved that movie. I had to watch it during one of my therapy groups. Why did you watch it?”
“Same reason,” I admitted quietly. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”
“I can show you my city.” Janae looked at me expectantly.
I shrugged. “By the time we eat, they’ll be awake. You can grovel to the band and plead your case.”
She studied my face before she pulled on the drawstring of my hoodie. “I need to go back to my suite at the Four Seasons and change first. I didn’t plan to spend the night.”
“As in penthouse suite? Is Del paying for you to stay in a penthouse?”
“No. I’m paying for this whole trip. Del had to work overtime to get me this gig.” She averted her gaze over my shoulder. “I had to agree to do it for free.”
“You performed at the rodeo for free? Can you afford to stay in a penthouse? You haven’t made any music in over three years.”
Janae had been a young starlet who rose and fell in a short period of time. Not long enough to have money stacked for the rest of her life unless she’d invested well, and I was highly doubtful that a twenty-something from the poorest part of Houston knew how to handle her money.
“I haven’t stayed in a penthouse in a long time, and I couldn’t return to Houston and stay in a basic hotel. Cameras are following me for a reality show. My comeback has to be big. I can afford this splurge.”
“Those two ladies were your hire too?”
She stamped her foot lightly. “I needed a wardrobe and makeup team.”
“For one show?” I shook my head and headed toward the door.
Janae blocked me. “How does it look to my fans if I’m doing my own makeup and styling myself before one of the biggest concerts in the very city that I’m from? Huh? It’s hard enough that Del managed to convince me to perform without my dancers and background. I can’t go down looking like that. Like I’m the loser everyone believes I am.”
I turned the knob. “It makes you look real, Janae. You are a fallen star trying to soar again. Show them how hard it is in this industry, not this fake image. Then you know who really rides for you. But hey, if you prefer quantity over quality, that’s on you.”
“Stop judging me,” she admonished me.
After I walked through the door, I said over my shoulder, “ You made me your moral compass.”
“Ten minutes, tops.” Janae turned around to face me at the door to the suite. “The camera crew isn’t back until tonight, so you can chill while I get ready.”
My stomach growled again. “Or we can order room service, because nothing in me believes it will take you ten minutes. It already was a thirty-minute ride here.”
Her beautiful eyes shone hopefully as she slowly kissed my cheek. “I want to be outside with you.”
The heat rose between us again, and I stepped back before I succumbed to her allure. “Not happening, Janae.”
“What’s not happening?” She pouted prettily.
Drawing an impatient breath, I asked, “What’s the code? I’m starving.”
She punched in a code and waltzed inside.
I slowly entered her luxurious temporary living space as she hurried past the formal dining and comfy living areas to her bedroom. This would have cost her a pretty penny. If she spent money like this all the time for her image with the lawsuits and lack of recent hits plaguing her, how long would her money last? Maybe this was why she was so insistent on making a record, doing this tour, and destroying three years of sobriety like it meant nothing. She needed cash.
“If you want a snack or something, you can request anything, and the chef will prepare it. But you better not get full, Landon,” she called from the bedroom before she turned on the shower. She peeked her head around the door, and her shoulders were bare. “I want to go to a nice restaurant and have virgin mimosas and eggs Benedict with crab.”
The vision of a naked Janae invaded my mind as my cell buzzed.
WYA?
I responded to Brian’s text. With Janae.
Brian sent an eggplant and a peach emoji, and I sent the middle finger emoji.
What time you getting back ?
In a couple of hours, why?
Cedrick wants to meet. Del asked us to do a record with Janae. You probably already know that.
Yeah. You think it’s a good idea?
I do. She smashed the stage and we’re getting buzz. Cedrick, on the other hand, hates the idea. Thinks she will take the focus away from us.
I sank back into the sofa. I agreed with Cedrick. Janae had too much natural star power to not take the focus from The Hollow Bones. The difference was that I didn’t care about attention, and Cedrick lived for it.
Janae wants to plead her case. I’ll bring her back with me.
No women at meetings.
I made the rule, remember? We can meet to decide after she leaves.
Bet.
Bet.
Janae was still in the shower. I took a deep breath before I finally scrolled through social media for the first time in two days. The Friday night incident was trending even without my googling it, photos of Cash Black against the wall after I’d punched him and pics of me with Janae thrown over my shoulder like I were a caveman. The stories indicated that it had been a fight between me and Cash over Janae, not a concerned man protecting a woman from potential harm. Someone had even captured a video of us speeding away like Bonnie and Clyde leaving the bank after a heist.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my thighs as I perused the thousands of comments. Most were positive and supported us as a couple. Women expressed interest in discovering more about me, since I didn’t have any social media accounts. Only a few reactions were negative, calling Janae a slut and a homewrecker. No one said anything negative about me, since I was the hero in this scenario, trying to rescue his woman. Before this trip, I would probably have judged Janae similarly if I wasn’t the man in the photos. I would have believed she hadn’t changed, was up to her old tricks, and thought no more of her. One thing I hated more than anything else was wasted talent.
Janae was wasting hers, though I’d pretended I meant Cash Black when she asked me. When she called me out on it, I’d lied, unable to say it to her face. For three years she’d been sober, and now she’d broken the promise to herself because she led her performance with her head instead of her heart. I’d judged her harshly and was downright mean in how I viewed her. Maybe I was wrong.
In the little time we’d spent together, I’d realized that I had perceptions about her that might have been true in the past but no longer seemed to fit. I’d witnessed the nervous, scared, and unsure Janae. The funny, sensitive, and honest Janae. I’d even seen her pissed. I’d also observed how vulnerable and alone she was in the world. To be in the city of your birth and have no one from your family attend your show or stay with you in a penthouse meant to be shared spoke volumes without her ever telling me anything about her people.
If she and I were going to be tour mates for the next two months, I wouldn’t do anything to dispel the rumors that we were a couple. I would be there for her as a friend rather than a foe.
Or, at least, I’d try. The woman was so irresistibly sexy and frustrating. Janae would push my buttons in ways I wasn’t ready for.
“It took me longer than I thought,” she announced softly.
I slowly perused her body and stood up when she strolled out in a flowy, thin-strapped, long pink sundress and flat silver sandals. The shower had curled her loose hair around her face. I could hear my breath hitch, which meant she probably did, too. If this outfit was an attempt to downplay her allure, all it had done was enhance Janae’s natural beauty. I could stare at this woman all day.
She arched her brow slightly. “Landon, you good?”
“Um… yeah. You look nice.” Shit . I cleared my throat. “Change of plans. The guys want to meet now. We’ll pick up something to eat on the way back.”
Her smile faltered, and she moved to me, rubbing her stomach. “I don’t have an appetite now.”
I awkwardly grasped her shoulders. “Hey… hey… It’s going to be fine. Our bark is worse than our bite.”
“Barks hurt too. Should I even waste my time? You know them.”
“It’s only a waste of time if they nix the idea.” The warmth of her bare skin underneath my hands aroused me, and my voice deepened of its own volition. “Are you sure you can handle all of this? This is only the start of your apology tour.”
“Apology tour? I made a mistake, and now I’m moving forward.” Her face wrinkled with distaste, zapping my growing desire. “Either people accept me, or they don’t. I’m not begging The Hollow Bones or anyone to forgive me. I spent years in therapy to forgive myself.”
I dropped my hands. “You really don’t believe you owe anyone an apology? I thought you said you would apologize at the house.”
She folded her arms. “Whoever I owed one already received one.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” I hit the back of one hand in my other. “You blew off a lot of people, canceled appearances and shows. People lost money. Hollow Bones lost money and opportunities. You can’t just get back in the game like you didn’t hurt people. You want a legit shot, then be ready to scoff down humble pie wherever you go.”
Janae straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Or let my talent speak for itself.”
We stared at each other for a few seconds. Neither of us wavered on our stance. My stomach broke the standoff, and we both chuckled.
“Then shoot your shot and hope it’s not your foot,” I said.
She giggled. “I love the way you slide in an insult or a judgment. It’s a good thing I have thick skin.”
“Not trying to hurt your feelings. Sometimes I’m unsure how my actions or words may hurt someone.” I placed my cell in my pocket and strode to the door. “Looks like we’re trending as the new couple. The Hollow Bones gained thousands of followers since Friday night. Probably best we’re getting food to go anyway.”
“You don’t want to be seen with me?” Janae couldn’t quite hide the hurt in her teasing tone.
“I don’t want to be seen, period.” I pulled my hat down farther on my head. A part of me wanted the fellas to say no to recording a song together. I didn’t want the attention she would bring, not quite ready to admit that the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her. And my simple, foolish heart couldn’t afford to fall for a complicated woman like Janae.