Chapter 46
Silence greets us as we push through the servant’s door into Harriet’s room. I stride to the window and part the curtains, looking into the courtyard below. Guards pour from the castle gates and swarm the perimeter, blocking each possible exit.
I rest my head against the wall. Rainwater drips from my dress and pools into a puddle on the floor. “Do you think we gave her enough time?”
“More than enough.” She scans the room. “Where’s Harriet?”
I stare through the sliver of space between the curtains. Raindrops race down the windowpane, blurring the outside world. “She went with Thea to make sure she got there safe.”
She freezes. “And risk being caught outside the castle at night? This close to the final trial?”
I turn from the window. “You’d be surprised what some people do for love.”
A pause. “No. I wouldn’t be surprised at all.”
Her words hang heavy, floating midair like a wave waiting to crest. A spark slides under my skin and urges me to her. The front of her shirt is soaked through, hinting at the expanse of toned muscle hiding underneath. She takes a step closer, but stops, closing her hands into fists.
I lower my gaze. “You should probably go to your room.”
“And what about you?”
“My room is the first place they’ll search.”
“But what if Harriet comes back?”
I bite back a laugh and grab a towel from the unused bathroom, wringing out my hair. “I’m not worried about that.”
“Come with me,” she whispers.
My stomach flips, and I drape the damp towel over a chair, masking the heat crawling into my face. “You’d rather I share your—”
“To Ignata.”
The towel slides to the floor, and wind howls against the window, rattling the panes.
I look past Kressa and swallow past the knot in my throat. “I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t?”
I don’t answer, and she stalks closer, closing her fingers around my chin. She tips my head up. Honeyed, stormy eyes pierce through the darkness and bore into me—stare into the very fabric of my being.
“Briar, why can’t you touch the water?”
My body stiffens, and I flinch out of her grip. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at the ocean. Your eyes glaze over and go to some faraway place where you’re calm and carefree. Yet, each time you’re near the water, you recoil.”
I bite my lip. So, she did notice the way I avoided the shallow puddles when we returned the selkie tails. How I threw myself back from the wave in the cove.
I cross my arms, as if it could stifle my pounding heart. “Why did the garden come to life in your presence?”
She closes the distance and backs me up to the wall. Frigid stone meets my skin and seeps through my dress, sinking a chill into my bones. She settles her hands on either side of my head, caging me in.
On instinct, I unsheathe my dagger.
I flick it to the base of her throat, but she only smiles.
“You still don’t trust me? Even as my power calls to yours, you think I’d harm you?”
“You know nothing about me if you think I’d trust you.”
Her hand wraps around my wrist and lowers the dagger. One by one, she untangles my fingers from the hilt, and my blade clatters to the ground.
“I know nothing about you?” A smile tugs at one corner of her mouth. “I know you ache for me, and I know how delicious that feeling tastes. But you never act on it.” She parts my legs with her thigh. “Why? Would it make it too real?”
“Nothing about this is real.”
Dipping her mouth to the crook of my neck, she presses a velvety kiss to the skin, and the light in my chest flares to life.
She chuffs, breath skimming over me. “Your mouth says one thing, yet your body says something entirely different. If I were to guess, this is the realest thing you’ve ever felt. ”
Her fingers dip below the chain around my neck and slide along my collarbone in a long, languid path. Where her chest presses into me, my skin burns.
And yet, the glow of my power within her chest remains dormant, even as she leans in and presses another kiss below my jawline. A shudder washes over me, and her mouth spreads into a smug grin. A low laugh escapes her lips.
I scoff and push her off of me. “This is a game to you.”
Her eyes darken, hands flexing at her sides, but she retreats. “What do you mean?”
“The light in my chest flares at your touch. Without it, even. Yet the light in yours hasn’t so much as flickered since the night in the infirmary.” I grit my teeth. “It’s a game—seeing how little you need to do to unravel me.”
She looks to the window and swallows. “It’s not a game.”
“It is. And you feel nothing.”
“Have you ever considered, Briar, that not everyone has the luxury of feeling whatever they want to feel? That sometimes things need to remain hidden because the truth could hurt others?”
My voice lowers. “I’m more familiar with that than you think.”
“Whenever I dip into your thoughts, they say otherwise.”
I flinch back as if I’ve been slapped. “What do you mean dip into my thoughts? I keep my mind closed.”
“Apparently not closed enough.” She shakes her head. “I never get far, like there’s an invisible force holding me back.”
My throat constricts, the air in my lungs souring. I should scream at her for invading my thoughts, but a question burns to the front of my mind. “What did you learn?”
I calculate how long it would take to retrieve my dagger if she knows my secret. The resolve I’d need to plunge it into her chest.
“I know guilt follows you around like a raincloud. But guilt for what, I could never piece together. I learned how fiercely you care for Thea, and I saw you captaining a ship. But the name etched into the side is always blurry.” She steps closer and tilts her head. “What was the name of your ship?”
I calm my face and dive into her mind, digging and clawing for her thoughts, but I hit a wall. I slam against it and try to break through, but it doesn’t budge.
Anger rakes down my spine, and I bare my teeth. “I should have killed you when I had the chance.”
“Or perhaps I should have killed you.”
I blink and clench my jaw. “Then you wouldn’t have someone helping you find Elias.”
“Yes, but then I’d be able to sleep at night. I wouldn’t have you haunting my dreams.”
Heat climbs into my throat and singes my tongue. My thoughts spin, and the light in my chest vibrates, rattling. I swallow it all down and stride to the door. “Get out.”
Threading my fingers behind my neck, I unfasten the chain and hold it out to her. It sits like a lead weight in my palm, the pendant seeping warmth into my skin. She hesitates, but I shove it into her chest and let go, giving her no choice but to catch it.
She opens her mouth.
I shake my head. “Out.”
She presses her tongue into her cheek and nods, stepping into the dark hall. Without another word, I shut the door.