Chapter 47
Iwake with a start. Sweat coats my brow and drips in a rivulet down the curve of my spine.
Throwing off the sheets, I sit on the edge of the bed, but the heat only expands down my legs and envelops my arms. My toes tangle in the gold dress I abandoned in favor of the nightgown Marianne hid in the dresser.
I slide to the floor and root beneath the mattress until my fingers close around the small drawstring bag storing the jewels. I exhale a breath. This will be the last delivery, so it has to count.
Rising, I pad to the window. Outside, guards patrol every gate, still scouring the roads. Music doesn’t float from downstairs, and the courtyard is empty of carriages.
I press my back against the cold pane of glass and sigh at the reprieve.
But the heat only burrows its claws into my core and spreads like molten lava to the space behind my navel.
A dim light illuminates the room, and I catch my reflection in the small mirror.
My chest lights like a beacon, tugging me to the hallway.
My vision blurs, and heat swarms my mind until only one thought surfaces.
Kressa.
I slide my dagger from beneath the mattress and stumble to the door. Through the fog in my mind, I scan the hallway. Clear. I cross the space, and the heat intensifies the closer I get to her room.
My heart races, pumping boiling blood through my body. Even my lungs burn—every inhale a scorching ache, like it’s going to burst free from my skin.
I push myself through her door and freeze.
Kressa stands at the foot of her bed. A blinding cobalt light emanates through her thin shirt, illuminating the pain painted across her face. Her brows are drawn, lips twisted into a grimace.
“This, my love, is what it would feel like if I lowered the barrier.” Her words come out rough, serrated.
Like even uttering them is agony. “This is the torture I endure each time I’m around you—when you even cross my mind.
I hold this back because I couldn’t give you this pain.
” She takes a step closer, and a fresh wave of heat crashes over me.
“You might ache for me, Briar—but I burn for you. I endure this pain, for you. When you asked me about the kiss, I never lied. You light me on fire.”
The flames that lick my skin when I’m in her presence, the heat that braids through my waves when our lips touch—that’s from her. I inhale a deep, shuddering breath.
The room might as well be full of smoke and uncontrolled flames, but nothing exists except Kressa and me and the strands of power between us. And this pure, unavoidable need.
I scan every valley along her body, the rise and fall of her chest beneath the thin sleep shirt. The way her muscles tense under my gaze. Her teeth dig into her bottom lip.
Swallowing, I whisper, “This isn’t pain.”
A slight shake of her head.
My body grows taut. A single pinprick and I’d snap. My chest rises and falls in rhythm with hers, and a throbbing ache builds low in my stomach.
I blow out a breath. “This is restraint.”
She lowers her gaze in confirmation, and her jaw works.
“It’s torture—keeping my hands from roaming your body, stopping my mouth from exploring what you taste like.
I try so hard to be respectful, but I’ve dreamt of what sweet, breathless noises you’d make for me.
” She pins me with a stare. “Please, Briar, tell me what you need me to be, and I’ll be it. ”
My breath hitches. The retreats, the long looks, the concern. Words bubble to the surface, but they’re too thick and gnarled to escape. Nothing tumbles out but, “You did this for me.”
“All of it.”
I drop my dagger. My fingers gather the hem of my nightdress, and I ease it up, dragging it over my upper thigh. Kressa tracks my every motion as the thin silk glides over my head and drops to the ground.
Her pupils blot out her irises, and her chest heaves. At her sides, her hands flex with barely restrained control.
“You’ll be my ruin,” she whispers.
She’s wrong.
She’ll be mine.
I take a tentative step forward, and the moment my foot hits the ground, she closes the space between us. Our chests press together, and her lips crash to mine as if she’s been starved of me her entire life.
In some ways, so have I. Her skin, her soft lips against mine, the way her body feels under my hands—it sweeps a warmth over me unlike I’ve ever known before. An ache I haven’t felt until now.
A low rumble comes from deep within her chest, and she tightens her grip on my lower back, fingers digging in.
Her other hand threads into my hair, and with a gentle press, she parts my lips. Each stroke of her tongue fans the flames building in my core, and I melt into her, my fingers scouring every inch of her body.
I’ve dreamt of this. Her words come through as pants, breathless. Every night, I’ve dreamt of this. And every night, when my need for you becomes unbearable, I have to stop myself from going to you.
Her hands drag down my hips and hesitate at the band of my underwear, barely dipping underneath. My power untethers from its chains and swirls through my body, dampening the flames.
A sigh comes through her thoughts. I’ve endured torture, my love, but nothing has compared to keeping myself away from you.
I break the kiss and cup her face, staring into her depthless eyes. “Show me what exactly has haunted your dreams so profoundly, Kressa.”
Her hands freeze, and she shudders. “Do you have an eternity?”
My heart somersaults around my ribs. “Pretend like we do.”
If tonight is all we have, I’ll make it last a lifetime in my mind. If after this we part ways, I’ll ink her touch into my skin, bottle her breath in my chest.
She lowers me onto the mattress and climbs over me, bracing her forearms on either side of my head.
My entire world, enveloped by her. Her leg weaves between mine, pressing against me, and a shiver shoots up my spine, tracing a path over every inch where our bodies meet.
She lowers her lips to my collarbone and presses slow kisses along the delicate skin.
I trace my fingertips over her back and smile against the crown of her head as goosebumps follow in the wake of my touch. This woman—so fearless, so deadly—undone by a single touch.
Her hips churn, so thorough my breath comes out ragged.
I reach a hand to the space between us and drag my finger directly over her center, over the shred of fabric separating my hand from her.
“Fuck,” she breathes into my ear, chest heaving against mine.
Her hand dives down to meet mine, stopping me mid stroke. She lifts my hand and pins it above my head, her honeyed eyes churning.
You want me to show you exactly what my dreams consist of?
I nod, and a whimper breaks from me as she rolls her hips again. My thighs tighten around her hips, and I press my eyes shut, throwing my head back into the pillow. Her lips resume their place at the arch of my neck, each kiss twisting the growing knot in my stomach.
She lifts her head, and our gazes meet. Her eyes soften as she studies my face, beholding me like I’m a wonder. She huffs, shaking her head.
“What?” I say.
She cups my jaw. “I’d dismantle the night sky for you.”
My chest tightens, my heart expanding past its confines—reaching and stretching toward her. I blink, and before I respond, she dips her mouth to my breast. She captures my nipple in her mouth, and my breath catches, fingers pressing into her nape as a low whimper escapes me.
Heat builds in my core as her tongue traces over the sensitive skin, then continues a path over my stomach. She trails farther, pausing at my underwear. Her fingertips dip beneath the band and slide across in a slow, torturous line.
She skims her hand up my thigh and cradles the space behind my knee, propping up my leg. Lowering her lips to my inner thigh, she nips at the skin. Heat spears into me, and I arch my back, body begging for relief.
She lifts her head, and our eyes meet as she gives me a lopsided grin.
“Please,” I whisper.
She holds my gaze as she weaves her hands beneath my underwear, easing them off. I lift my hips in silent invitation, and she smirks, dragging a finger through me, circling it over my clit. My eyes roll back, and I fist the sheets.
Unravel for me, Briar.
She dips her head between my thighs and drags her tongue over my center. I arch into her mouth, and a muffled moan escapes from her, vibrating against me. Heat wrenches around my body, and I sink my fingers into her hair, rocking against every stroke of her tongue.
My power melds with the heat, and she slides a finger in, angling it in a way that singes each of my nerve-endings. A second joins it, and I cry out, gripping her hair tighter. Her fingers pump in rhythm to her tongue as she guides my legs over her shoulders.
Hold nothing back.
The knot low in my stomach pulls taught and I thrust my hips against her, wave after wave of pleasure washing over my skin. She grips my outer hip and pulls me closer.
My resolve snaps.
Euphoria crests, weaving with my power beneath my skin. I cry out as her tongue drags over me, and her fingers slow, but each thrust sends a fresh shudder through me. My breaths come out as pants, my heart thrashing against my ribcage.
She presses a kiss to my hipbone. “Even better than I could have imagined.”
A drunken, lazy smile spreads over my face, and I map every dip of her body as she crawls over me. The freckles that trail up her waist, a splatter on her shoulders. The way her muscles shift beneath her.
“Kressa—”
She covers my mouth with hers, parts my lips, gently drags her fingertips over my nipples. I inhale a sharp breath and melt against her, my body liquid.
Her hands roam my body, memorizing every inch of my skin the way I did hers, mapping it out. She pulls away, and I blink my eyes open.
She trails her gaze up my body, over my breasts, my lips, my eyes. Silence hangs between us, and the blue light in her chest grows, casting the room in swirling shades of cobalt and sapphire. Like we’re underwater.
She runs her thumb along my jaw, and her eyes soften. “How did I find you?”
The knot bound in my chest—guarding me from anyone who could get too close, loosens. Unspools for her. I breathe her in, and the glow in my chest brightens. I have nothing to offer—nothing but a small gift. A sacrifice.
I trust you, I say.
She searches my eyes, tracing her fingertips down my arm. Shivers follow in its path, and her gaze remains pinned on mine.
“I trust you, too.”
My lips part, and unsaid words tumble in my throat, scrambling in my mouth. Heat blooms in my chest, and on a whisper lighter than air, I say, “For eternity.”
I press a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth. Her fingers tangle in my hair, and as she presses her forehead to mine, our breaths still heaving, my soul teeters on the edge, threatening to fall into her forever.
Her arm finds a home around my waist. “Eternity wouldn’t be long enough.”
“No, it wouldn’t.”
I tilt my head and trace her scar with the pad of my finger—from the dip of her chin into her hairline. “Who did this to you?”
Her lips form a tight line and she absentmindedly cups my hand, like it’s the most familiar thing in the world. Like my touch grounds her.
She presses a kiss to my palm. “You know, you weren’t the first woman to hold a blade to my throat.”
I blink. “Did you deserve it?”
She shakes her head.
I study the scar. Based on the angle, the woman stood behind her and wielded with her left hand. That narrows down the pool of women I’ll scour until I find the one responsible for this.
“It happened the night Sarenia fell.”
I prop myself on my elbow. “In the castle?”
She nods, and my stomach twists. One of my crew members could have very well done this, and if they did—are they still alive? Did she kill them? A swallow slowly makes its way down my throat.
“It was foolish, but he was nowhere to be found.” She runs a hand over the scar, as if reliving that night. “My brother, Elias, was meant to be married that night.”
I stop breathing.
“I was glamoured as him.”