Chapter 53
I rub the towel through my hair, standing at the bathroom door watching her. She’s awake now. Relaxed, stretched out, peaceful. “Comfy?” I ask, winning her attention. I swear, I have never seen Ava looking more perfect. Glowing.
“No,” she says. “Because you’re not in here with me.” She indicates for me to join her and, of course, I do, kneeling on the end of the bed and working my way up until I can half lie on her, my chin on her belly.
“Good morning, my beautiful girl,” I whisper, as her hand slips into my hair.
“Good morning.” She sighs. “What are we doing today?”
Oh, she will love it. “I have it all planned out.” But there wasn’t much actual planning, to be honest. This time, it’s not about scale. It’s about us. Us and the people who love us. “You will do what you’re told,” I say, looking up at her as I kiss her belly. I’m counting the kisses needed to cover her bump. More are needed each week.
“Does it involve cards?” she asks, coy.
“No.” I smile, remembering our last game of cards in Paradise. It ended in Sleepy Twilight Sex.
“Does it involve Twilight Sleepy Sex?”
“Maybe later.” When my family aren’t around.
“Then I’ll do whatever you want.”
Of course she won’t. “Your day starts right now, Mrs. Ward.” I finish coating her belly with my kisses and move, sitting myself on her hips. I reach for the bedside cabinet and grab the paperwork—Ava’s wedding present, my wedding present—and hand it to her. “Here.”
“What’s this?” She warily accepts the paperwork that details the sale of The Manor. Fucking hell, it’s gone.
“Just open it.”
She looks utterly terrified as she works the envelope open, her eyes jumping from me to her working hands. She pulls out the paper and reads, the lines on her head increasing the farther she gets down the page. I bite at my lip, waiting.
“You’ve bought another house?” she eventually asks.
“No.” I smile. “I’ve sold The Manor.” My God, I’ve sold The Manor. That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud. It’s feels surreal.
“You’ve what?” she breathes, lifting beneath me, trying to sit herself up. She looks completely stunned. Expected, I suppose. In the end, it wasn’t such a hard decision. I’ve outgrown the grand, magnificent building. It no longer has a place in my life. Besides, as I noted on my various walks around the grounds, it’s wasted. Now, it’ll be an incredible golf course and thousands of people will get to enjoy what I have these past few months. The gardens.
I encourage Ava back down to the bed. “I’ve sold The Manor.” I shift and spread myself all over her, cupping her face with my palms.
“I heard you,” she whispers, scanning my face. “Why?”
Why? She doesn’t need to ask. The Manor no longer gives me purpose and reason. John first told me that weeks ago. I know Ava’s often thought it, but she would never have enforced such a monumental ask. I kiss her instead, and our lips coming together suck us into the usual vortex of passion.
The Manor is gone.
My life is here ready to be lived.
I hum, happy. “You taste heavenly, lady.”
“Why?” she repeats, her limbs coiling around my body, locking me to her. She wants something. So I’ll give her one of the many reasons she won’t have considered.
“You know when you’re a kid?” I say. “At primary school, I mean.”
She smiles through her frown. “Yeah.”
“Well.” How do I explain this? “What the hell would I do if the babies asked me to go in for one of those open days these schools have?”
Her curiosity is dying and her humor growing. She knows where this is heading. But she’ll still make me say it. “Open day?”
“You know, when daddies stand up and tell their kids’ classmates they’re a fireman or a copper.” I knew she’d find this funny. I roll my eyes to myself. “What would I say?”
“You’d tell them you’re The Lord of The Sex Manor.” She giggles, and the sound is life. But still, she’s mocking me. This was a very real worry. I grab her hip and tickle her. “Stop!”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, lady.”
“Please stop!”
I do, only because I don’t want her peeing on me. “You would tell them that you own a hotel,” she says, her breathing labored as she gathers herself, her grin massive. “Just like we’d tell the babies.”
Just like that. But I’ve been there. It was fucking stressful. Besides, like I said, that’s not the only reason. New beginnings. I lift off her and drop to my back, knowing she’ll soon be straddling me. And she is, being careful to avoid the site of my wound, hands on my bare chest, her belly directly in my sights. “I don’t want it anymore,” I say, holding her thighs.
“But it was Carmichael’s baby,” she whispers. “You wouldn’t sell it when your mum and dad demanded it, so why now?”
And there’s the thing—they never actually demanded it. They begged, and there’s a huge difference. I should have sold it when Mum and Dad begged me to. But, again, I wouldn’t have met Ava, and that seems like an impossible something to accept. “Because I have you three,” I whisper, my eyes dropping to her tummy. All I feel is complete wonder whenever I look at her belly.
“You’ll always have us three, anyway.”
“I want you three and nothing to complicate that. I don’t want to lie to our babies about my job. I would never allow them to spend any time there, which means my time with you and the babies would be limited. The Manor was an obstruction. I don’t want any obstructions.” And that is that. “I have a history”—a painful, complicated history—“and The Manor should be part of it.”
I watch as she absorbs the words. She wants to smile but feels guilty. I wish she’d smile. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. “So I get you all day every day?”
“If you’ll have me,” I counter, slightly shy, also confident, especially when I see her relent and let loose that smile.
She attacks me, thrilled, and it’s the best response, but just as I’m about to indulge, she shoots back up, all delight gone, worry replacing it. “What about John and Mario? And Sarah? What about Sarah?”
I don’t want to talk about Sarah. I still can’t believe how blind I was. How I let guilt get in the way of my own happiness. And Ava’s. “I’ve spoken to them.” Or John and Mario, anyway. I’ve not seen Sarah, but John’s told me what her plans are. I half listened. Pretended to care. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her for what she did. And tried to do. “Sarah’s taking up an opportunity in the US and John and Mario are more than ready for retirement.” I’ve made sure retirement will be comfortable, and the golf resort will reemploy most of the other staff. It was part of the deal. The very sweet deal, just as John said it would be.
“Oh. And will the members renew under the new owners?”
“Yes.” I laugh. “If they like playing golf.”
“Golf?”
“The grounds are being converted into an eighteen-hole golf course.”
“Wow. What about the sports facilities?”
“They’re all staying. It’ll be pretty impressive.” The plans to be submitted to planning were something else. Almost made me want to take up golf. But, I won’t. I know I can never step foot through those gates ever again. “Not much different to my setup, except the private suites really will be hotel rooms and the communal room will serve as a conference room for businesses.” I had to laugh when I was shown those particular plans. The communal room. No longer packed full of naked, sexually adventurous, hedonistic professionals, but now packed full of... well, they might be hedonistic. But they’ll be dressed. And at work.
“So that’s it, then?” she asks.
“That’s it.” No more talk of The Manor. “Now, I need to get you ready for the rest of your day.” I try to get up and go nowhere.
“I need to freshen up my mark,” she says, eyeing my pec. “And you need to work on mine too.”
Fuck, I’d love to, but I just heard a car coming down the driveway, which means people are arriving. “We’ll do it later, baby.” I quickly get up, which isn’t so quickly these days, my insides tugging, and set Ava aside. “Go take a shower.” I look over my shoulder to the windows as I spank her arse, directing her toward the bathroom. She goes with ease, thank God, and I quickly wrap a towel around my waist and go out the doors, spotting Drew, barefoot, wading through the sand at the end of the garden. “Hey,” I whisper-shout. “You’re early.”
“Fucking sand everywhere,” he mutters, flapping the front of his shirt.
“My man!” Sam sings, dragging a cooler box with him.
“Shhhh,” I hiss.
“Where is she?” Kate calls.
I slap a palm on my forehead. “My God,” I breathe, shooing them off, pointing down the beach. They all look. All hunch their shoulders, realizing, holding their fingers to their lips like, yes, okay, we can be quiet. Off they go, just as Amalie rounds the corner, Dr. David in tow. “Where’s Mum and Dad?” I call quietly.
“Dad disappeared for half an hour,” Amalie yells, and I show the sky my palms, exasperated, hoping the shower is blocking out the noise for Ava. “He came back with a diamond bracelet for Mum. You should see her face.”
My eyebrows jump up. And I smile. Spoiling her. I’m happy.
“You know,” Amalie goes on, her volume still too high, “the replanning of our wedding is costing slightly more than we anticipated.”
I laugh. “Yeah, I bet.”
She gives me an impish grin. “Love you, brother.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I mumble, backing up. “Go.”
I go to the wardrobe and pick out a dress for Ava. Lace. A bit short, perhaps, but I’ll deal with it. Then I pull some shorts on. White. Will she cotton on?
My finger touches my new wound, tracing the length of it. No tingles. I bite at my lip as I move my finger to the old wound. Trace that too. No tingles. I smile and go to the kitchen, looking out of the window, seeing Joseph and Elizabeth getting out of a cab. I hardly suppress my groan when Dan appears too. I inwardly call him every name under the sun as I nip out the front to direct them round the back. Elizabeth squeals when she spots me, but soon shuts up when I raise a finger to my lips, looking back into the villa nervously. My God, does everyone we know not understand the element of surprise? Ava’s parents creep off, but Dan remains, hands in his pockets watching them go. What’s he hanging back for? “All right?” I ask.
As soon as Elizabeth and Joseph are out of range, he comes to me, holding his hand out. I don’t miss the brief drop of his eyes to my stomach. I swear, if he mentions anything about what happened, I can’t promise I’ll hold back. I take his hand tentatively and let him do all the shaking. “Take care of her,” he says.
What can I say? Tell him not to insult me? There have been numerous nights I’ve woken up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. It’s always the same dream. Or more reliving one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Walking into the penthouse and seeing Ava bent over, hysterical, and seeing my ex-wife wielding a knife. I shudder on the spot, pushing it back. My lack of honesty put Ava in that situation, and I will never forgive myself for that. “I’ll take care of her,” I murmur, breaking our hands. “Thanks for coming.” I had no choice but to invite him. And pay for his airfare. “And, Dan,” I say, as I back away. “Stay away from Kate and Sam.”
He nods, accepting, and goes after his parents as mine pull up, John driving them. The big man gets out, and I’m surprised to see him in some linen trousers and a shirt. Both cream.
“Nice,” I muse as he looks over his glasses at me.
“Motherfucker,” he breathes, and I laugh, walking on bare feet to the car and opening the door for Mum, helping her out.
She gives me an accusing eye. “Your father’s been splashing some cash.”
“He has?” I ask, innocent, as she holds out her wrist. “Ooh, fancy.” I take in the delicate piece. “You look lovely, Mum.”
“And you look... not ready.” She takes in my white shorts as John chuckles.
“I’m ready,” I assure her.
“For what, a swim?”
“Maybe,” I muse.
Confused and perhaps a little exasperated by me, she hands over the flower as Dad moves in for a hug.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Ready, son?”
“For Ava?” I ask. “Never.”
He laughs and releases me, holding the tops of my arms, looking at me. Studying me. I let him have his moment as John leads Mum around the side of the villa toward the beach. Dad doesn’t say anything else. He inhales, squeezes my arms, then moves in and kisses my forehead. “Good luck, son.” Releasing me, he wanders off, and I watch him go until he rounds the corner.
A deep breath.
Complete.
I go inside and trim the stem of the flower, tucking it in the back of my shorts, then fetch Ava’s dress, my timing perfect. She’s at the wardrobe when I enter the bedroom. “I’ve picked something.”
She looks back, taking me in first before the dress. Her hands move away from the rails. “It’s a bit short, isn’t it?”
“I’ll make an exception,” I say nonchalantly, going to her and helping her into it. I zip her up and take her in. “Cute.” I look out past the billowing voile drapes, hoping everyone is in place as I claim Ava’s hand.
“I need shoes.” She laughs as I pull her to the doors.
“We’re paddling,” I say over my shoulder, walking us around the pool to the gate that leads to the beach. I see everyone in the distance and look back at Ava to see if she’s spotted them. No. Her eyes are on me.
“Can we paddle on our backs?” she asks.
“Pregnancy does wonderful things to you, Mrs. Ward.”
“I always want you this much.”
“I know you do.” I stop us at the gate and spend a short while taking her in. Glorious. “You’re missing something.” I pull the calla from the back of my shorts and tuck it behind her ear, fixing her air around it. “Much better.”
She smiles as I lean in and kiss her cheek before walking us on. “Watch that piece of splintered wood,” I warn, stepping across the old sleepers. “Careful.”
“You should have let me put some shoes on, then.” She leaps across the wooden planks.
“Ava, no jumping,” I yell. “You’ll shake the babies up.”
She laughs, totally ignoring me, and leaps the rest of the way down to the sand. “Come on,” she calls, breaking out into a jog but soon slowing again. I smile as she comes to a gradual stop, taking in the row of people before her. All smiling. Our family. All people who love us.
It’s a delayed reaction, but she gasps and faces me. “What are they doing here?”
“They’re here to witness me marrying you.”
“But we’re already married.” A huge frown creeps onto her forehead. “We are, aren’t we?”
I laugh. “Yes, we are.” I look up to Mum and Dad. Old, glassy eyes look back at me. Yes, this is for Ava. But it’s mostly for me and for them. I don’t mind admitting that. And, bonus, I get to marry my wife again. With all of my family. Just how it should have been.
That’s one lesson I’ve learned.
It’s not too late to do things the right way.
“But my mum and dad missed our day,” I say, giving my attention back to Ava before I let my emotions take over. “And we should have done it this way before.”
I walk us through our family to the registrar by the shore, and turn Ava to face me, holding her hands with both of mine.
“We are gathered here today,” the registrar begins as Ava looks up at me, a small smile on her face, her bewilderment clear. I hold her hands tighter, watching her mouth move, her eyes shine.
“Will you love him, cherish him, honor, and obey him?” she’s asked, “for as long as you both shall live?”
I raise my brows as Ava’s smile becomes knowing. “Well?” I ask.
“I will,” she says quietly as I move in closer, bringing her hands to my mouth. And now it’s my turn.
“I love you,” I say quietly, tilting my head when she tilts hers. Watching her closely. I thought I’d known peace. Ava’s trampled all over that. “An eternity with you wouldn’t be enough, Ava.” I smile as her lip begins to tremble, feel my throat getting thicker. “From the moment I saw you, I knew things would change for me.” She breathes in, and I definitely hear a collection of emotional whimpers from the crowd. I can’t look, especially at Mum and Dad.
Don’t, bro. They’re a wreck.
You’re never alone.
I breathe in. “I plan on devoting every second of my life to worshipping you, adoring you, indulging in you, and I plan on making up for empty years without you.” My voice wobbles terribly. It’s another chance. And I’m grabbing it with both hands and never letting go. “I’m taking you to Paradise, baby.” Or Jesse Cloud Nine. Either will do. I lift her up to me, holding her to my front. “Are you ready?”
She nods as she speaks. “Yes,” she whispers, but her words are strong and assertive. Everything I need. “Take me.”
“Oh, I took you long ago, Mrs. Ward,” I say, as she pulls at my hair. “But right now is where it really begins.” I slam our mouths together and kiss her with purpose. “No more digging to get beneath me,” I mumble around her mouth. “You know everything there is to know.” Freedom from my demons. “And no more confessions, because I have nothing left to tell.”
“I think you have,” she says, snuggling into my neck.
“I do?”
“You do.” She nibbles at my cheek as I walk into the sea. “Tell me you love me.”
Except that, of course. And I will tell her every day for the rest of our lives.
I find her eyes, those dark, beautiful eyes. Eyes I’ve been lost in since the first moment I looked into them.
She’s real.
And she’s mine.
“I love you so fucking much, baby.”
I wade into the sea, looking up at her as she turns her face toward the sky. “I know,” she yells to the clouds.
And I laugh and sink us both into the water, completely wrapped in Ava, her mouth adoring mine.
This smart, beautiful, patient, sexy, graceful woman.
Mine.
Forever.