Chapter 31 - June
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
June
Having Madi and Dallas in the same room at once made me realize that the last few days, I’d been walking through a dream. But now here they were, not only in the same room, but around my friends. There was no hiding what had happened this last week.
Everyone knew.
And I wanted to hide.
I was scared. Did that make me a coward? Yes. But dammit, I couldn’t handle the way seeing them again made me feel. My chest felt sticky. I was sweating. I was angry at myself for not being a normal person about emotions.
Why did love have to feel so out of reach?
Avery and Evie cornered me by working on either side as I cut and layered and stapled various ribbons to small paper discs.
“What are you up to, hmm?” Evie asked.
“Yeah,” Avery whispered. “What was that all about? Why are you giving Dallas the cold shoulder? Why—”
“Shush,” I hissed at her. “This is a couch topic.”
There were too many people around us. As much as I loved Mateo and Levi, this wasn’t a topic for them, or for Austin. I could feel the three of them occasionally glancing at us and then looking over at Dallas and Madi, who were two peas in a pod.
Even Laura wouldn’t stop scrutinizing us. I loved that kid, but man, she noticed way too much for her own good. Ethan had dropped her on Avery and me, and I’d been too frazzled to argue.
Evie and Avery exchanged looks but nodded. A couch topic was exactly what it sounded like. My giant sofa had been our landing pad for countless serious topics. Whenever we needed each other, we convened there.
The truth was, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing.
Romance was on the brain.
Being with them, kissing them, coming undone for them. It was all part of my proposal, but my heart was starting to yearn for more. It felt dangerous, almost, because I knew Madi would be leaving. I’d set myself up for heartbreak.
Madi’s husky laugh floated through the room. My throat felt dry as I stole another glance. She was gorgeous. The sundress hugged her hips in a way that made me want to kneel for her. A lock of hair had loosened from her bun and framed her face as she arranged roses and baby’s breath together.
Between running my own business and helping my brother and my niece, where would I ever get the time to give someone the love they deserved?
Madi deserved to be loved.
So did Dallas.
But did I? Had I earned my spot in their lives?
No.
And yet, I couldn't look away.
“You should go work next to them,” Avery said.
She bumped me in the side with her elbow, wearing the smirk of someone that was happily in love.
Mateo and Levi loved her so fucking much.
And she loved them. Seeing how the three of them had synced their lives had been like watching a beautiful tapestry come together.
I studied my friend for a second. The blue in her hair looked good, and so did the smile on her face.
My attention slid over to Evie—but she was looking at Austin.
Some days I wanted to shake that man. Austin was like an older brother to me. He’d been a pillar in my life. And while I understood now how complicated wanting a long-time friend could feel, I simply did not understand why he didn't notice Evie. Or maybe he did notice her, but was like me.
A coward.
Either way, he was missing out. Evie was a catch.
Was I biased? Absolutely. But that didn’t change the truth. Any man who ended up in her life would be one of the luckiest to ever live.
Evie finally looked away from Austin, and put her scissors down. She crossed her arms and scrutinized me. “Seriously,” she whispered. She tilted her head toward Madi and Dallas, and I shook my head quietly in response.
I was focusing. Right? Being a boss bitch who didn’t get distracted by her loins—okay, ew. I wrinkled my nose.
“Do it,” Avery whispered. “You know you want to.”
I narrowed my eyes. Okay, now they were both being bitches. I glanced back up at Dallas and Madi, before feeling the weight of another set of eyes on me.
My niece.
My niece, whom I loved with every fiber of my being and wanted to strangle for making the comment about me wanting to kiss Madi and Dallas in front of everyone.
Laura smirked knowingly. She was far too intuitive for her own good. She lorded over us like a smug cat, eating pizza, and trying to beat an old game I’d dug out of my closet to keep her busy.
“You’re a menace,” I sighed as she bit into her third slice.
“Mateo, do you think I’m a menace?” she called.
Mateo snorted as he folded and taped another box. “Absolutely, sobrina.”
“Levi?” she pleaded hopefully.
He winced as he packaged a mum. “Sorry, darling, I have to agree. The first time we met last year, you told me I smelled like cheese.”
Laura cackled joyously. “You did!”
“It was the volunteer firefighter uniform’s fault,” Levi protested, shooting Mateo a dark look. “Someone told me it had been cleaned.”
“It had been,” Mateo sighed dramatically. He leaned against Levi, resting his chin on his shoulder with a flirty smile. “Don’t tell me you’re still mad about that, darling.”
Levi mumbled under his breath. It was unbearably cute when Mateo or Avery made the buff ex-hockey player blush.
Laura took another bite of pizza. “Smelled like cheese. Austin?”
Austin raised a brow as he gathered a full trash bag from a bin and tied it off.
“Laura, I distinctly recall you coming up to me a couple weeks ago and using some choice language to convey there was water on the floor at the hotel. So yep. You’re definitely a menace.
” He cracked a broad grin as he opened the back door and tossed the trash bag onto the step out of the rain.
“You’re the most menacing of all of us, except for Dallas when you interrupt him while he’s reading a book. ”
“Hey,” he quipped from the other side of the room. “It’s rude to interrupt someone while they’re reading.”
Mateo, Levi, and Austin all laughed. Without a doubt, they’d been on the receiving end of Dallas’s wrath while he was busy being a bookworm.
Their friendship was much like mine with Avery and Evie, and ever since the tension from Austin’s overprotective big-brother phase had faded, everything between us had been golden.
“Madi?” Laura asked. “What about you? Am I a menace?”
Madi’s cheeks reddened, but she offered a soft smile that had my heart squeezing. “Sorry, kiddo. I fear you may be a menace. If it makes you feel any better, I have a feeling everyone here was too when they were your age.”
“Especially June,” Dallas snorted.
It was my turn to protest. “Hey.”
“What? I remember how you were at her age.” He leaned against the work table with a rose twined between his fingers, a derpy smile on his face.
His dimples were showing.
Fucking deplorable.
“In fact, I distinctly remember you spray-painting my bicycle pink and then blaming it on . . . Hmm, what was it?”
“Oh I remember this,” Levi said with a knowing smirk. “I was visiting that summer.”
“Oh, yes,” Dallas continued. “You blamed it on the tooth fairy.”
Avery’s laugh peeled through the room. “And Dad believed every word and you rode around the rest of the summer with a pink bike.”
Evie snickered next to me. That little plan had been her idea, but I’d definitely been the one to execute it, and Avery had been the one to plead for no punishments.
Laura was having the time of her life. Her laughter was contagious and I felt myself relax into the chaotic fun of jabs that could only be exchanged after knowing someone for so long.
“Let’s not forget the time you put googly eyes over all of my school binders, Dallas,” I countered. “With superglue.”
He smirked, his eyes on me in a way that sparked something fierce and hot. Dallas kept watching me as everyone around us launched into stupid stories from our childhood, leaving Mateo and Madi in a whirlwind.
God. Why was he like this?
It would never be the same.
Maybe I was mourning that in a way. I’d never be able to look at him and not want him so bad it made my bones hurt.
Finally, I pulled my gaze from him and shifted it to Madi.
Her eyes were teary.
Fuck.
Had we said something mean? Did I go too far?
She caught me staring and sucked in a breath, taking a step toward the hall that led to the front of the shop. “Is there a bathroom?”
“Of course. I’ll show you,” I said, moving quickly.
Everyone barely noticed our departure, aside from Dallas. His brows tugged together as Madi took off down the hall, and I followed after her.
“Hey,” I said softly when I caught up with her. “I’m sorry. Are you okay? Did we do something?”
She spun around. We were safely out of earshot of everyone else now, the lights dim, but still glinting off the two tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.
Madi wiped them away quickly. “No. I’m so sorry. I just . . .” She took a deep breath and slumped against the wall. “I haven’t been around people like this in a really long time. I can’t remember the last time I was around . . .”
“Friends?” I asked softly.
“People that love each other.”
Ouch. My heart ached for her. I leaned back against the opposite wall, but the distance between us still wasn’t much. Heat tugged in my stomach.
I should have remembered that about her. Dammit, I should have been standing next to her. Working beside her. I’d been so caught up in my own feelings, I hadn’t even thought about the fact that we’d kind of tossed her into the deep end.
“Sorry,” she sighed, tucking a loose wave behind her ear. “I didn’t expect these feelings to come up.”
“Don’t be,” I said gently. “I should have checked in on you.”
Madi undid her bun and ran her fingers through her hair. “I just . . . You know, it’s upsetting. I used to have friends. And I could have had more, but I was so focused on my career that I never took the time for relationships.”
“I get that.” More than she probably realized. “You’ve built something for yourself and there’s no shame in that.”
“No,” she said. “Despite the fact that I was fired, I’m proud of myself.
I am doing the job I always dreamed of having, and now I just .
. . I’ll just keep applying to other studios and looking for freelance opportunities.
It’ll be okay. But, I’m lonely.” Her voice broke.
“I’m so lonely. And being here, being in that room—I felt the complete opposite of that. ”
“And it hurts.”
“Yeah.” She swept her hair back up and crossed her arms, tearing her gaze away. “I don’t know why that is. I mean, look at me. I’m nothing.”
“You’re everything.” Her cheeks went scarlet as I breathed out those words. “Madi, I’m still getting to know you, but I know two things. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy.”
She stared at me for a moment, and then tipped her head back against the wall. “I’m trying. I like myself more now than I did a few weeks ago. I promised myself I wouldn’t let any chances pass me by ever again.”
My gaze lingered on her lips.
“I like myself when I’m with you,” she whispered. “And I like myself when I’m with Dallas.”
The beat in my chest was a little faster now. All the words I wanted to say failed. I was bad at this.
Madi pressed her lips together. “Are you okay? It seems like you’re having a hard time. Is it the orders? Or something else?”
“It’s everything,” I answered honestly. “I hate being the center of attention. I love everyone in that room, but I don’t know—I’ve been hiding my feelings for Dallas for so long that it feels wrong to . . .”
“Want him?”
It all sounded bad. It was a me problem that I didn’t quite know how to explain.
“I thought after Friday, the two of you were doing well . . .”
“We were,” I said. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. I’m just—” I huffed out a breath, frustrated with myself. “I’m a coward. That’s what it is.”
Madi frowned, but before she could say anything else, a voice called from the other room.
“Are y’all okay?” It was Avery.
“Yeah!” I called.
She cleared her throat. “Maybe we should go back now.”
Or we could stay here forever and I could keep focusing on your mouth instead of the way that dress looks on you.
“Yep. Before everyone joins us in the hallway. They’re nosy like that.”
She grinned. I started to turn that way, but then her fingers circled my wrist. I looked up as she gently pressed me back against the wall.
“Can I kiss you?” she whispered.
“Always. Even when I’m being an idiot.”
“How about especially when you’re being an idiot?”
My laugh melted into a moan as she leaned down and kissed me. Her lips were sweet against mine, soft and pliable. She tasted like sugar. I whimpered as the kiss deepened, going until I was breathless.
Madi pulled back, her words soft in my ear. “You’re not a coward for being afraid of love, June.”
She pressed one more kiss to my forehead, then left me standing there. I could hear my friends’ excited voices as Madi rejoined the group. A cloud of curiosity and tension followed, but I knew who it was coming from.
Dallas. Madi.
Maybe I wasn’t a coward for being afraid of love, but I was one for being afraid to be loved by them.