Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Madi
Before I knew it, I had only nine days left in Whynot.
I’d been ignoring the countdown to reality, but when I sat down at my desk at the gallery, I opened my laptop to an email I should’ve seen yesterday.
Dear Ms. Fletcher,
I’m a talent recruiter with ABBA Studios. Your portfolio hit my inbox, and with seeing the work you’ve done, and your previous position, we’d love to interview you for the role of Art Director—
They wanted to interview me this coming Thursday.
In San Francisco.
The starting salary was $150,000. Enough to not struggle in a city as expensive as that one.
I could pay for my own apartment.
I could start fresh.
I should have been crying tears of joy, but instead, I was just crying. I wiped away the tears, reading the email a few more times. This wasn’t even an official job offer, but it was the first time I was reminded of the real world outside of Whynot.
I’d been living in a Hallmark movie kind of love bubble.
Every single morning, Dallas brought me coffee and breakfast. June and I grabbed lunch and took walks and talked about anything and everything.
Then in the evenings, the three of us ended up in bed, exploring sex in ways I hadn’t ever dreamed I’d get to do.
They knew me. More than anyone else ever had. They saw me and wanted me and showed me all of the things I’d been missing.
And dammit, I loved this town.
Whynot was small, but it felt like home. Like I could stay here forever.
Which would wreck my career. Unless I truly embraced being a freelance animator, I wasn’t sure there were any studios out there that would want to hire someone living in the middle of the desert.
It should have been a no-brainer of a decision. I’d worked so hard, sacrificing relationships, friendships, even my health. The nights I’d spent hunched over at my desk letting my creative brain spiral as I worked and worked and—
I didn’t want it anymore.
Not like that.
What is wrong with me? Something was broken. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly, but there was a dam inside me, and all the cracks I’d been continuously slapping patches over were suddenly too wide to fix.
I rolled my desk chair back and craned my head back. I stared up at the gallery ceiling.
This office was one of my favorite parts about being here.
Not only was it beautiful with the perfect amount of light throughout the day, I’d never realized how nice it would feel to have a workspace away from my home.
I loved hearing customers’ chatter float from the front of the gallery, but if I needed quiet—shutting the door was enough to stop it.
And if I left it open? Avery, Mateo, Levi, Austin, or even Evie would sometimes drop by for a visit.
I learned so much about everyone here.
Like how Levi used to be a professional hockey player, but had moved here last year after falling in love with Mateo and Avery.
I discovered that Mateo had a mustache care routine and hearing him talk through the process had me reeling in a fit of giggles.
Austin, despite the fact that he worked too much, was a good guy.
Everyone liked to give him shit for his overreaction to his sister dating, but he’d put in the work to make up for it.
Plus, he really could do almost anything.
He also shared my intense hatred for bugs and I learned that Dallas was always the exterminator growing up.
Evie was a dream. She worked hard to run her own business and had the best taste in fashion. More than once, I’d gone down an online shopping rabbit hole because of her—even though my clothing preferences were completely different.
Avery had truly become a friend. I’d made a deal with her a few days ago that when I left, we’d still talk.
Out of all the surprises since coming to Whynot, June and Dallas were the best. I wasn’t sure I’d ever met a more thoughtful person than Dallas. And June?
When I thought about her, it was like a ray of sunshine on my darkest days.
I couldn’t imagine not seeing them after this week. Finally, I had people I connected with. I didn’t feel so alone.
Would I be able to find that again if I left?
My tears slowly dried as I switched my screen over to my current animation.
I was damn proud of it.
I’d spent so much time on it. I’d done my best to keep it a secret from everyone else, too. Dallas and June had prodded me about it, but I always kept my descriptions vague.
I wanted to surprise them.
After storyboarding, I’d spent time rigging the 3D elements, and from there I’d built everything. I was still polishing the edges, but it was coming together.
A polite knock had me spinning in my chair, but I already knew it was Avery. She did the same three raps every single time.
She immediately frowned when she saw my face. “Oh no. What’s wrong? What happened?”
The tears came back and I forced a blubbery smile. “I got an interview with a big studio in San Francisco.”
“Oh my god, that’s exciting.” Her smile faltered when she saw the tears. “Hmmm. I think I’m gonna introduce you to the breakdown couch, except it can’t be the real one because that’s at June’s. So we’re gonna make this work.”
I had no idea what the breakdown couch was, but it did sound like something I needed in my life.
She shut the door and went to the plush couch against the wall. She patted the other cushion. I wiped my face as I tried to pull myself together, then plopped down next to her.
“Okay,” Avery breathed out. “We’re going to forget for a few minutes that June is one of my best friends and Dallas is my brother. I’m going to forget that I really want the three of you to be happy and just focus on you. What are you feeling?”
I wiped away more tears. “Are you sure?” I whispered. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep things to yourself.”
Avery shook her head, insistent. “No, it’s okay. Truly. What we say on Breakdown Couch 2.0 stays in this room.”
I crossed my legs and grabbed a pillow, clutching it as everything flowed out.
“My life has always been in LA. I’ve worked so hard to get the job of my dreams and I honestly didn’t even remember signing up for this residency until you called.
I’ve been so focused on being the best and pushing myself.
That’s all I amounted to, and I lost it.
So now for a studio like this one to reach out .
. . It’s the dream dream job. My dream job’s dream job.
I’d be in a new city where I can still start over and would have more opportunities . . .”
Avery tucked a strand of blue behind her ear. “But . . .”
“But I feel like I’ve been falling in love with both of them since before they even kissed me.
” I exhaled, my temples throbbing as more tears spilled free and the weight on my shoulders lifted.
“It’s been so easy to forget the real world here.
It’s beautiful, everyone has been wonderful, and there’s really scary bugs but there’s a really gorgeous kind man that will rescue me from them.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. God, I swear this was not supposed to be how my life went.
” I threw up my hands, hating that more hot tears streamed down my face again.
“It was supposed to be casual. I wasn’t supposed to come here and meet someone, let alone two someones.
I thought I was safe from that after Justin. I thought . . .”
I thought I’d want to leave.
I thought this would be a quick escape. That afterwards, I’d have my life figured out. But now, more than ever, I was conflicted. Torn between two futures.
“I thought we’d just be friends. Now, I want more. I’ve felt more alive with June and Dallas in the last few weeks than I ever did with my ex. Is that wrong?”
“No.” Avery reached over and squeezed my hand. “Nothing about what you’re feeling is wrong. You worked so hard to get to where you’re at.”
“I’ve given up so much,” I whispered. “I chose a company over making friends and finding people who cared about me. That’s my own fault, of course.
But being here has healed something inside me.
Talking to all of you every day, laughing and joking and hearing about your lives—I’ve felt like I’m a part of something.
It’s been such a reminder that over the years, I’ve constantly made a choice to focus on my career, but look where it got me. ”
“I mean, it did get you here.” Her smile softened.
“You’re not only talented, but you’re away from a relationship that wasn’t good for you.
And believe me, I know exactly how that feels.
I had a relationship that hurt me, and when Mateo, Levi, and I started seeing each other—I was so damn scared.
But it is true, what they say. When you know, you know. ”
But the question was—did I know?
“You still have time,” Avery said. “You can take that interview. At least see what they have to say. And focus on enjoying your time. You don’t have to rush to any sort of conclusion.”
I felt myself relax, even though the pressure was still there. The fissure in my heart was still there. “Plus, I need to get my animation wrapped up.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” she said. “Oh, speaking of, I’ve ironed out the details for homecoming.
We got a big projector screen from a friend, and I was thinking we could either show it before the football game at homecoming or after.
I think before is the way to go, though—once the game ends, it becomes chaotic. ”
“Oh god,” I laughed. “I’m not used to having people see my work in front of me.”
“It’ll be great. Plus, Dallas and June can hold your hands.”
Now, I really smiled.
Avery was right.
“Thank you,” I said. “I feel a little better. Still scared and not exactly sure what I’m doing, but . . . better.”
“Good.” She stood up and stretched a little, rolling her shoulders back. “Can I just say one thing though that’s completely biased?”
“Of course.”
“It’s really really biased.”
“Go on. I’m ready.”
“Well, Whynot is a small town. It’s quiet.
It’s quaint. But I love it here. There’s so much to love.
It’s home. And well, my biased opinion is this: Dallas and June have always lived here.
This place has always been their home. But I’ve never seen them want to share that home with someone more than they clearly do with you.
Dallas and June having feelings is something new, too.
But . . . Well, I think you should know that even if you leave, they’ll always want you.
Even if you’re not in their lives and they stay together, they’ll always think about you.
They’ll always miss you.” She winced. “Sorry, that was more than a single biased opinion.”
“It’s okay.” I drew in a sharp breath. “Whatever happens, more than anything, I hope they continue their relationship. I’m not trying to be a matchmaker, but . . . They love each other. I know they do. But June . . .”
“She’s scared of love.” Avery’s expression grew very serious.
“Her mother is a bitch. And I’m not just saying that.
But I’ve watched June be cut down again and again and that kind of hurt bruises your heart.
June is one of the best people in my life, but I know she struggles.
She’s never been in a serious relationship because of those struggles, and instead of letting those who care for her help her work through those burdens, she holds them inside.
She’s scared of love, but she deserves it.
She deserves it so much. But, I’m not going to lie.
I think you will have to push through to her.
You and Dallas, if that’s what you decide on. ”
I ran my hands over my legs, considering her words. “I haven’t met her mom, but she’s told me a couple things here and there.”
“If you ever do meet her, and I think you will, just know that she’s homophobic and a narcissist.”
“Fuck. And I thought my parents were bad.”
Avery snorted. “She makes my mom look like a saint. Evie and I have a secret code for when she comes around. She hates us both because we love June.” Her expression pinched with a scowl.
“If she meets you, she’ll hate you too. I’m sorry.
But we all hate her just as much, so you could join in our opposition. ”
“I’ll happily join.” Finally, I truly took a deep breath. “I think . . . I think I should talk to June and Dallas soon. Shouldn’t I?”
Avery thought about it for a moment. “I mean, I vote yes. Even if only to talk through how you’re feeling. But I know that takes a lot of vulnerability.”
“It does. But I just had some practice.” I rubbed my chest, thinking about it. “I feel lost.”
“You’ll find your way. I know you will. And if you need anything else, just let me know.”
“Thank you.” I let out a soft hum and then stood up, reaching for my phone and purse. “I’m going to take a walk. Clear my head.”
“Okay. Call me if you need me.”
“I will.”