Chapter Thirty-One
America
“Congratulations.” I kiss Gray as he carries me into our hotel room in Positano after dinner at the trendiest spot in town. “You’re officially Elio Ricci’s agent. How does it feel?”
“It feels pretty damn good.” He beams at me. My toes meet the floor and he plucks at the buttons lining the front of my dress. “Not as good as making you come will, but damned good all the same.”
“I’ll do it.” Batting his hand away, I tug my dress over my head. Who knew we would end up back in Positano signing an up and coming football star only a few weeks after Diogo Costa signed on as Frontline Sports’ first client? Staying in the same hotel room where this thing between us started, no less. In just as much hurry to get naked as we were that night.
He has his shirt off and is kicking away his pants as I step out of my panties. The bruises from Everett were completely gone this morning, but I swear Gray’s favorite pastime is branding me with his mouth. I have love bites in all the places no one but us can see.
We’ve been all over Europe these last couple of weeks. Gray’s put twenty hours a day into researching talent and networking with old contacts under his new company name.
I’ve been at his side every step of the way. And now I think I might know what I want to do with my future. I’ve been thinking about it since we spent a rather splendid evening with Diogo Costa and his family.
I am not thinking about it when Gray tosses me onto the bed, flips me onto my stomach and playfully bites my ass.
Oh God, I am definitely… not thinking about… when he scoops up my hips and enters me in one delicious thrust. “Gah-Gray.”
“This is what you get for teasing me all night.” His tone is light and fun. His hips clap my ass. My eyes roll back in my head.
“I knew what it would get me.” I claw fistfuls of the sheet and hold on for dear life as he finds the perfect angle to work my G-spot.
“You look…” He spreads my cheeks and pushes into me. “Such a filthy girl… the way you take me… I’d love to see you take me in your ass too.”
My brain stutters. The idea of letting him fuck me where no one ever has. Letting him into every part of me. It floods me with a primal surge of arousal that almost makes me orgasm then and there. “Do it.”
“You want it?”
“I want it.” I push back on him as another wave of sensation steamrolls me.
“I’ll go slow. Tell me to stop if it’s too much.” He spits on the place where we’re joined. Smears it up the seam of my crack and uses it to lubricate my asshole.
He continues to fuck me, but at a much slower pace while he uses a finger to stretch me. He adds more spit and a second digit. “Still want it?”
“Yes.” I’m so ready.
Pulling out, he rubs the head of his cock against the sensitive spot, lubricating me further with our arousal. He grips my hips, presses.
I’m tighter there so the sensation is more extreme. I feel fuller the moment he enters me. He starts to pump and my eyes cross. The pleasure is dirty, but also sweet.
“You feel amazing,” he says reverently when he’s deep inside me. “Perfect. God… I…” He groans as he leans over me and wraps his arms around my waist. “I knew it would be good, but I’ve never…”
“Gray?” This thing we’re doing… he’s never done it either?
“Rub your clit for me, Rica. I don’t know how long I’m going to last with you squeezing me so tight.” He starts to move in slow, long thrusts while I use a finger on my clit. Building the dirty pleasure until it overwhelms us both.
The blinding orgasm recedes as we collapse on the bed. Gray wraps his arms around me while we both work to catch our breath.
He makes me feel treasured. Like I’m important. He’s given me a sense of belonging that I haven’t felt in a while. This past year I have been so adrift. When he eases out of me, I twist in his arms. Clasp his face and kiss him. “You haven’t done that before?”
“What do you think?” He smiles.
I think that my best friend did not understand the man she had at her side. She didn’t appreciate his loyalty, or his protective drive, or his prowess in the bedroom. She’s not a bad person for not knowing whose heart she was breaking. Some of us don’t make it easy to get to know the real us.
We hide in the cracks between what other people need from us to feel loved their way. We try our best to be their idea of what will make us lovable. Or even likable. Or on their level when it comes to intelligence, socializing, and fitting in.
“I think…” I love him more and more each day that we’re together. I think that I’m a little bit possessive too because I like that I got this moment with him. “Nan ni-kkeoya.”
He turns serious. “You always do that. But you never tell me what it means.”
I’m not ready to. I’ve loved him for so long, yet the idea of telling him that I’m his out loud in a language he understands is terrifying. “That I could use a shower. You got me all sweaty.”
“Oh, yeah. Me too.” Gray lifts me off my feet and carries me into the bathroom. He puts me down before he turns on the shower. “We make a great team, don’t we? In business. And the bedroom.”
“We do.” I clasp my hands around his neck when he comes in for another kiss. “And I think I know what I want to do with myself once we’re finished here.”
“Oh, you do?” He kisses my cheek, my ear, and starts a trail down my neck. “Do I get to be in on this important information?”
“Mmhmm.” I suddenly feel shy and awkward. Maybe I’m getting carried away. It’s only been a couple of weeks. That’s not a lot of time to be certain. But it makes sense. “I want to be a translator. That’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of weeks for you, and I love it.”
I love working with Gray. Watching him do what he’s good at, what he’s passionate about. But it’s also given me a chance to put my own passions into practice. I feel like I belong by his side. That I’m accomplishing things I can be proud of. And the idea of helping people who struggle to communicate across language barriers… it feels like exactly what I should be doing.
“You want to keep working for me?” His brow lowers. His fingers flex on my hips.
“No.” I steam ahead. “Yes, maybe. That’s not the point. I’m enjoying working with you, but that’s not why I want to be a translator. I want to work with people who feel isolated because of language barriers. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with a social barrier that makes it hard for people to understand or even like me.”
“People like you,” he says. “I wish you could see how much they like you. How much I do.”
My cheeks heat as I duck my head. “If I can help someone with language, then that’s what I should be doing. Though if you asked me to stay on, I wouldn’t say no. You know that.”
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
“I am.” I was already in the right field with linguistics, but this is a use of my skills that feels right.
A knowing smile turns up the corners of his mouth. There is a gleam in his eye that makes me warm all over. “You would be incredible at it, Rica.”
“Do you really think so?” I bask in his confidence.
He tips my chin up. Kisses me. “I know it. Watching you work these last couple of weeks has been amazing.”
He takes his time kissing me, and I revel in the attention.
“So what’s your first step?” he asks when we break apart.
“I’m not sure. I’ll have to find out if I’ll need to go back to school.”
“Is that a possibility?” His shoulders stiffen.
“I’ll have to look into it. But…” I take a deep breath. This is the part he won’t like… the part I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Ever since Indy told me about the trip to the Dells. The one I have yet to bring up with Gray though I mean to every day. It’s only a couple of weeks away now. “If I do, I think I want to finish school at home. In Chicago.”
He turns away to check the water temperature, but with the way he angles so that I can’t see his face I have no doubt he’s trying to hide his response from me.
Of course the idea of going back to Chicago doesn’t have the same effect on him that it has on me. I miss my family. I miss my bestie. I miss deep dish pizza. And Italian beef sandwiches. I miss watching the Cubs play at Wrigley Field.
Gray hasn’t talked to his parents in years. His job with All-Star was his tie to the city, but that’s over now. He still can’t stand the people that I miss. I haven’t even been able to bring myself to tell Indy about us.
I’m so sick of keeping secrets from her. But I’ve been letting her believe that the guy I’m with is someone else for so long, I think the only way I can tell her the truth is face-to-face.
“And if you don’t need to go back to school?” he asks.
“Then obviously I don’t need to return to Chicago.” I shrug as I rub the goosebumps from one arm. I expected he would need a moment to wrap his head around it. That doesn’t mean he’s angry or upset with me. At least that’s the logic I try to tell myself. It certainly feels like it’s a big deal with how quickly he became somber and serious. “At least not for that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” His attention caught, he focuses back on me.
Staring at his chest, I swallow my nerves. He’ll understand even if he doesn’t like it. “Indy wants me to go to the Dells with her. They’re celebrating that it’s been a year since the surgery.”
His nostrils flare. He rears back. Pain floods his gaze.
“You didn’t realize?” He no longer wakes up with her on his mind, but I thought for sure…
Yesterday was the anniversary of the day she shattered his heart. I practiced in my head how it would go every day for a week. Planned ways to distract him. I figured they’d worked since he was barely grumpy.
Two weeks from now it’ll be a year since she married Theo, the day after will be a year since the surgery. Every day she reminds me that we’re going to celebrate, and I promise I will be there. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to be excited for this trip when her happiness came at Gray’s suffering.
If he forgot, that has to be a good thing, right?
“I knew. But I lost track of time or…” He shakes his head, his eyes full of surprise. He grips the side of my neck and fuses our mouths. “Or I’m over her. She doesn’t deserve my focus or my energy. You do.”
“I do, huh?” I smile against his mouth. If he’s getting over her then maybe one day he’ll be able to handle being in the same place as her. Assuming she ever forgives me for having a relationship with him behind her back.
“Of course you do.” He tucks a tendril of my hair behind my ear. “So you’re going to go?”
“I… want to. She’s my best friend.”
He swallows harshly. “When will you leave?”
“I have a red eye booked for the night before. We’ll leave straight from the airport and head to the Dells.”
“How long will you be gone?” he asks.
I take a deep breath and let it out. “I need to spend some time with my parents too. I’ll be gone for a couple of weeks. Maybe a month.”
I don’t want to miss the BBQ that my mom’s side of the family puts on at least once a summer. I want to play dominoes with my grandpa while Mom and her sister cuss and argue over who makes the best potato salad. It’s always exhausting, but it’s always fun.
Mostly I need time for Indy to forgive me after I tell her about Gray and me. I need to tell her the truth. On my own. I can’t just throw our relationship in her face. But a month is a long time, and I’ll miss him too much. “Maybe, we…”
“You know I can’t.” He kisses me, there’s a bittersweetness to it that wasn’t there before. A look of desperation in his eyes. “Just promise me you’ll come back to me.”