Chapter Twenty-Six Rowan
Rewind - Rowan
Rowan is aware he’s spoiled—doted on, even—and he has said it before: he’s happy to let his mates handle the hard stuff. It’s not that he’s lazy or even uninterested; it’s that he can recognize greatness in them, and lets the best man for the job do the job. And someday, when he’s the best man for the job, well…he’ll be the first to step up.
But since he presented, he’s had to fight the same battle internally; convince his ridiculous wolf that they aren’t even on the same playing field as his mates. His time in the nest with Gideon helps him keep a tight leash on his wolf. Practicing self-control and self-awareness while focusing on the needs of someone else. It’s incredible. Gideon is more than happy to show Rowan who’s boss as often as he sees fit, usually while teaching him a lesson on how to show his mates a thing or two.
Yes, that’s a euphemism.
Rowan’s come to appreciate it, crave it, even. He owes the man he is to all his mates, but especially Gideon. Gideon has an unmatched inner strength, not only in their pack but among everyone Rowan has ever met.
So, when he and Finn round the corner of the virtually abandoned corridor, and Gideon is hunched over with an arm braced on the wall supporting himself in front of Nix’s door, Rowan should have figured something was up. He should have turned right around until someone texted him the all-clear, but he didn’t, and now it hits him like a fist to the face.
The scent creeping through the partially open door felt just like that. It is slick and so, so sweet. A chocolate-y mocha-and-vanilla dessert riding a current of pine that signals Rowan’s instinct to fuck and breed. It slides right up his nose and down his throat, and for the second time that week, Rowan’s wolf thinks they could take out Gideon and Finn to make a break for whoever is behind that door.
Rowan does not want a repeat of the first time he “met” Nix, and he has already had his metaphorical hand slapped twice this morning. He’s not eager to have it done again. However, his wolf couldn’t care less about Rowan’s ego when his cock is hard, and they might come, standing in the hall without a single helping hand. His vision goes red, and he hears himself warning the other alphas off with a growl.
In the same instant, he’s pressed hard against that strong arm blocking the door, but Gideon is prepared this time. There’s a firm hand on the nape of his neck in a familiar scruff and a command Rowan can’t hear. Thank the Goddess that Finn is thinking because he is yanking off Rowan’s suit coat, and the sleeve is suddenly in front of his nose. In seconds, he can only smell dry cleaning solvent and himself.
Even the brief break from that scent lets his brain come back online. Thank fuck.
Because Rowan’s rut is close, less than a week away, and he does not want to be dragged up to the ninth floor at the business end of a ketamine dart. He’s not on suppressants either, and based on the perpetual haze Grayson’s been in lately, Rowan would like to stay clear of that misery. He hates that Grayson is a shadow of his usual self, especially since it’s clear he’s also hiding something. Or at least, it’s clear to Rowan.
He wishes he had some idea why Nix’s scent sent them all into a fuck-breed frenzy. Is it the omega thing? Finn and Gideon haven’t shared too much of what’s in those books, citing hearsay and unreliable empirical evidence. But only the betas, Leo and Luca, seem to handle it with any grace.
Finn has taken his coat away from his nose, but his pupils are blown and Rowan’s grateful they have their scent blocker patches still on or they’d be sending those fuck-breed signals to each other. The ward is full of children, and even with them on a vague sort of lockdown, three alphas falling on each other in the hall would be horrific.
Finn seems to be handling it, and although Gideon’s still breathing hard with his eyes, taking on that pinched look he sometimes wears toward the end of their “lessons,” Rowan thinks, how bad can it be? A few moments more, and he tries it without the coat, too.
Big mistake; it’s not changed at all , and he shoves the sleeve back over his face. “Holy Fuck. Holy fuuuuuuck.” He’s so hard even his balls are aching. Rowan thinks one touch, and he’d come, popping his knot and all. He can’t think about when, hopefully, one day Nix might let him at the source of that scent, up close and really personal. Nope, not thinking about that at all.
There’s a loud whirring and a few metal clanks signaling that the ventilation system turns on, and it inspires Finn and Gideon to take small breaths as the light breeze diffuses the pheromone haze. “It’s a ventilation protocol. The system is circulating at top speed. Give it a try now, Ro.”
Rowan finally removes his jacket from his face, “I can still smell them, but it’s manageable. Like a memory, rather than my nose pressed up someone’s ass.”
“Rowan Foster, that imagery is unnecessarily unhelpful,” Gideon smirks.
Gideon cocks his head and sighs, “I can hear him, I think.” The voice is deep and smooth, and slides across Rowan’s nerve endings. He’d kill to hear that voice shouting his name or whispering in his ear. Or even saying I love you.
“His voice is…whoa,” Rowan breathes. “It’s so hot. I’m going to die.” He’s still so fucking hard that even the rub of his suit pants over his erection is sending little zaps of pleasure down his legs and into his toes.
Just then, there is a very clear “Finn!” coming from inside the room.
Rowan’s wolf takes that as a sign that they all should go in and see his mate, so he tries to circumvent the arm Gideon has thrown back up to keep him out again. “Please? Jay is calling us.” Rowan wants to be in that room right now and frankly, Rowan is getting tired of being kept away from his mate by a strong arm and a closed door.
“No, Ro, he’s calling for Dr. Merritt. So, it’s Dr. Merritt who gets to go in.” Rowan’s wolf is not above using his wiles, and he whines with big puppy eyes. But all he receives for his trouble is Gideon’s scoff, Finn’s jacket pushed into his chest, and a brief glimpse into the dimly lit room. He skirts around Rowan and under Gideon’s arm.
Rowan freezes.
His omega— their omega, you dumbass, not just yours— is magnificent. Wild hair, fangs out and covered in blood, all while smelling like every wet dream Rowan has had or ever will have.
“Down, Ro.” There’s a push behind Gideon’s voice, and he realizes he’s trying to move Gideon out of the way. They’re facing off now, slightly down the hall, as if Gideon had met his push with some stronger force, edging their altercation away from the door. His wolf knows this command, so Rowan goes down. He’s on his knees in an instant, and even though this looks the same as it does for Luca, it is completely different.
Luca once explained that since they mated Gideon two years ago, he has never had this much relief from his anxiety. He calls it “giving over,” which required some explaining to the group from both of them. But it means Luca doesn’t have to decide the big things. Gideon does that for him: when to work, when to sleep, when to fuck, when to come, sometimes even what to eat; Gideon decides it all. He cares for Luca and gets something he needs in return. It’s complicated in its simplicity.
Rowan just thinks it’s beautiful that they all have a role to play in supporting them both. It has settled their pack like nothing else has before or since. Except for finding Nix. Rowan thinks that now they have him, things can only get even better.
When Rowan kneels, though, it means his alpha is deferring to Gideon; it gives Rowan a physical sensation to focus on to get better physical control of his instincts. When he’s like this, he’s not the “top dog,” as Gideon likes to call it. Rowan’s wolf is an enigma, and it means that everything his wolf wants is sometimes louder than common sense; by learning that Rowan-the-man is in charge, Gideon’s making sure Rowan can live a life he’s proud of.
Knees on the hard floor, Gideon’s hand pressing hard on the back of Rowan’s neck, Rowan starts the familiar breathing: in four counts and out five counts. It takes concentration in this state especially, and for those few precious moments, Gideon doesn’t relax a single iota. Finally, “Ro?”
Rowan snaps his fingers twice, and it’s a signal to Gideon that he’s in control again.
“I’m going to go patch Jay up. Count to a thousand in French. Then you can get up and wait for me outside the door. That’ll be enough?”
“Yes. Count to a thousand in French and wait outside.” He can do that, mind in a place where his wolf is quiet. He breathes a sigh of relief for the second time since they arrived.
“Good boy. I knew you could do it.” There’s a soft hand over his hair, and then he’s alone. Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq…
When he reaches a thousand, Rowan gets up, the sound of his knees cracking loudly in the still-empty hall. Twenty-three years old and his knees already protest the position. He’s a little leery about his control, but his task and Gideon’s firm hand have helped. He’s not saying it would have held up under exposure to a sexed-up Phoenix Rena, but for now, it’s good.
Rowan hopes it will hold up when he’s face-to-angelic-face with his newest mate when they’re eating lunch, though. Stay down, dumbass .
There’s a whiff of cinnamon and hamburgers, and Leo is standing next to him in the hall, holding a box of takeout. “You okay there, Alpha?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Rowan realizes he must look exactly how he feels: worn out and anxious. Without answering, he rips off Leo’s scent patch and takes the box from his hands, placing it carefully on the floor.
A moment later, he has his beta pressed up against the wall, his nose buried in Leo’s neck. Breathing in deep, greedy lungfuls of cinnamon, he lets it clear the lingering memory of that cloying sex-vanilla scent right out of his head.
“Whoa, what the fuck happened? You look like you went a round with Gideon.” Leo grabs his head, physically turning it to force Rowan to look him in the eye. “Holy Shit, you did. I’ve been gone an hour. What the hell is happening? Is that blood I smell? And…sex?” He’s got Rowan by the arms and is checking his face.
“We’re okay. At least Gideon and I are okay. Finn was, too, when Jay called him in. Gideon told me to wait.” Rowan then notices Grayson isn’t with Leo. “Hey, where’s Gray?”
“He…thought he should go home.” Leo knows something he’s not sharing, and by the look on his face, it’s no small thing.
“Was he feeling sick? Is it the suppressants?” The two of them slide to the floor, with their backs to the wall beside the door. Rowan wouldn’t want Gideon to think he can’t do as he’s asked.
“I honestly don’t know. We were on the way here, and he panicked. Said he couldn’t do this right now. I’m not even sure what ‘this’ is, for fuck’s sake. Got home and he was inside before I could even get my car door open. I left him holed up in the rut room.” Leo is definitely worked up, his cinnamon scent making Rowan’s nose tingle.
Rowan pulls his phone out to check for texts, but there are none. That doesn’t mean he can’t text first, though.
12:28 PM - from Ro
You ok?
12:29 PM - from Gray
Yeah
…
Not sure what to say but I’m ok
Tell Nix I’ll see him at home
…
12:29 PM - from Gray
I’m sorry
12:30 PM - from Ro
It’s ok.
I’ll come see you when we’re home?
12:31 PM - from Gray
Ok. love u
12:31 PM - from Ro
I know
12:31 PM - from Gray
Ur an asshole
Say it back
12:32 PM - from Ro
Ur an asshole
12:32 PM - from Gray
Ha ha ha
See you later
12:32 PM from Ro
Love u 2
“He’s not okay, I think.” Rowan puts his head on Leo’s shoulder, and a few seconds later, he hears Leo’s stomach growl. “Really? We’re having a moment here.”
“Hunger waits for no man.” Leo shrugs with a smile. It’s so cute that it reminds him of why he loves Leo Costas to distraction.
It’s not five minutes later when the nurses return to their station, giving them a wide berth. Patient lunch trolleys are being rolled out from the elevator.
It’s not long after that Nix’s door opens, too. The air in the room must have had the same ventilation protocol as the hallways because it mostly smells like his family; even that sex-vanilla is manageable. Gideon raises his brow in a silent inquiry: you got this? And surprisingly, Rowan does. His wolf is on full alert, but he’s still obedient.
With a nod, he stands up, pulling Leo up, too. He sticks Leo’s patch back on before picking up the box of food. As the three of them stand in the doorway, Gideon speaks quietly, “Nix is ready to meet you. Where’s Gray?”
“He’s not feeling himself, so he’s at home. I texted him and he said he’ll see us later.” Rowan hopes the alpha won’t make a big deal of it because while this is not exactly a small thing , it’s not one they can solve right now. After all, their new mate is waiting. Thank the Goddess that Gideon isn’t looking to solve the problem right now, but he’ll have made a mental note to handle it when the vanilla-scented dust settles.
“Then let’s go. No sudden moves, and go quietly. Burgers, Leo? I said a selection. ” He sighs at the complete lack of gourmet food, but he moves to take the box so Rowan isn’t hindered when he meets Nix.
Nix is holding court on the blue couch on the far side of his room, and on his lap is Rowan’s favorite blanket. Rowan’s blanket! He can’t help but feel pride that his mate chose to surround himself with his scent during this stressful time. He can feel his face split into the biggest smile in his repertoire.
And when he meets Nix’s eyes, he stops dead in his tracks, once again wanting to fall to his knees. His omega— our omega, I will not tell you again!— has a huge matching smile.
“That idiot is Rowan Foster,” Gideon deadpans while Luca giggles.
“Hi.” Nix is still smiling and holds his hand out palm up, as if he expects Rowan to take it, not to shake, but to hold. Rowan nods like the idiot he is and steps over the center of the low table instead of walking around.
And that’s all it takes to make Nix laugh. His pretty mate throws his head back, a pink blush brushing his cheeks. The ridiculous move puts him directly in front of their omega, and then he goes to his knees just to take the offered hand.
“So pretty…” Rowan whispers, and he is a fool, and when Nix giggles again, he is a fool in love.
“You’re funny, Rowan. I like it. Thank you for sharing your blanket.” He’s looking up at him through his eyelashes, making Rowan’s stomach swoop and soar.
“You can call me Rowan or Ro or…whatever you like.” Luca is rolling his eyes at Rowan’s breathless tone and total lack of cool.
Nix doesn’t seem to mind, though. “Okay, then you can call me Nix. Is that okay, Jamie?”
“Sure is. I want you to meet Leo, too.” He’s got the suddenly shy Leo by the shoulders.
Rowan doesn’t want to get out of the way or let go of Nix’s hand but figures Leo deserves a chance to meet their omega, too. Nix uses Rowan’s hand, which he’s still holding, to pull himself up.
Finn squeaks before pulling down the back of his sweater, and Rowan’s face gets red, thinking that maybe his omega’s bare butt is….nope, not going there. Down, boy.
Luca, however, takes the opportunity to lie face down in the warm spot left by their now-standing mate.
Nix smiles his thanks to Rowan and approaches Leo. Jay is hard-pressed to hide his surprise, and the beta has gone stock still.
Leo is what is known as capital I “Intimidating;” his physique and occasional resting bitch face put strangers off, even though it hides the sweetest person inside. And yet, Nix doesn’t seem intimidated at all. It makes sense if he feels for each of them what they feel for him: that fated mate connection.
Leo’s jaw is slightly hanging open as they all get a front-row seat to their gorgeous mate scooting around the table (not over it, Rowan, you gigantic dork) so he can meet Leo up close.
“Hi.” Nix reaches for Leo’s face with both hands, palms to cheeks, and both Jay and Leo’s eyes go wide. No one thinks Nix is in danger, of course not, since they know Leo is a big, buff marshmallow most days, but Nix decidedly does not know that.
Leo is speechless for once, red in the face and a little damp-eyed. “Hi, Nix.” What even are formalities when his hands are on Leo’s face, his sweet smile on his beautiful mouth?
“Handsome! Right, Jamie? Handsome Leo!” He looks to Jay to confirm what he’s seeing, to make sure he knows his mate is handsome.
“Yes, baby, so handsome.”
Nix leans in a bit, and Leo holds his breath with his hands clenched at his sides. Nix goes to his tip-toes so that he can press his nose to Leo’s cheek and giggle. Red-faced and nearly swooning, the big, buff Leo is clearly holding himself back from hugging Nix close. Guess the betas aren’t unaffected after all.
In that vein, Rowan hazards a look at Luca and sees the beta’s nose is still pressed into the spot where Nix had been sitting. Rowan can’t tell if he is envious or horrified.
He whispers, “Luc!” and that’s enough to get Finn’s attention. Where before Rowan was undecided, Finn is not. He is definitely horrified and hauls Luca up, a giddy-slash-horny look on his sweet, flushed face. Gideon clears his throat in disapproval, causing Luca to cross his arms in defiant protest.
Nix now has his slender hands wrapped as far as they’ll go around Leo’s biceps (which isn’t very far) as he massages the muscle and puts a wide, goofy smile on Leo’s face. His cheeks are going to hurt after this, that’s for sure.
Hey, now. Rowan has big biceps, too. Rowan works out. He flexes subtly under his shirt to remind himself that his muscles are still as nice as he remembers them to be, and wonders if it would be too much if he took his dress shirt off now. Like he can read his mind, Gideon catches his eye this time, giving a subtle shake of his head.
While contemplating if he could still get away with it, Nix makes his way back around the table to sit again, covering up with Rowan’s blanket. Rowan decides disrobing can wait. There’s a big hot tub and pool at home, and if Nix is anything like Jay when it comes to water and swimming, Rowan will get the chance to be shirtless and show off his muscles soon.
“Ro is handsome, too,” Nix whispers, and Rowan feels a soft hand tug at the end of his hair. He thinks maybe he can die happy now. That smile is turned on again as Nix takes Luca’s hand in his and puts his head on Finn’s shoulder.
“Hey, where’s Grayson?” Luca’s voice is high with concern.
“He’s not feeling well, and he asked Leo to take him home. He wanted me to tell you he’ll see you there, okay, Nix?” Their omega’s smile is uncertain, nose in the air, like he can already smell a prevarication. Rowan’s still wearing his scent patch, though, as are Leo and Gideon. It’s probably best if they don’t flood the room with three new happy scents. Or, in Rowan’s case, a happy but prevaricating one.
“Now?” Nix pushes the blanket aside like he means to forgo lunch and walk to their compound, half-naked in Finn’s sweater, just to meet Grayson. Rowan wishes Grayson was here to witness Nix’s enthusiasm.
But Finn tugs on the sweater to get Nix’s attention and Jay puts his concern aside with a shake of his head, focusing on serving the last of the burgers, fries, and cut vegetables onto plates. “Nix, let’s eat lunch first, yeah?”
Rowan takes a paper plate from Gideon with a burger and vegetables already on it so he can hand it to Nix, then another for Finn, and then one with two burgers and fries for himself. Gideon pulls the fidgety Luca onto his lap, feeding him every bite as Leo and Jay sit cross-legged on the other side of the coffee table.
“See Grayson after lunch?” He raises his wrist to his nose, and Rowan gets a whiff of the basil body wash, but his pack can’t resist.
Jay intervenes, “You bet. Eat your lunch, and we’ll see about getting you discharged. We can talk at home.” He checks in with Finn and Gideon. He thinks it’s because “talk” is code for telling Nix he’s no longer human but a Were and a possibly-mythical-unicorn-definitely-an-omega.
As Rowan bites into his burger, he holds up the best french fry from his plate for the smiling Nix to take in his mouth. That’s a conversation he wants no part of because this is exactly one of those times when he’s reminded that, once again, Jay is the best man for the job.