Chapter 17
‘Bella, hello, time to wake up. Your alarm’s been beeping for ages.’
She opened her eyes and looked at Don wearily.
‘Oh God.’ She rolled onto her side and pushed herself up off the bed. She was heavy and extremely tired. It was impossible to get a full night’s sleep now. She had to empty her bladder at least twice a night and it was hard to get comfortable.
Still, she had to keep going. She was into her eighth month and the Merris deadline had to be met before she could entertain any thoughts of dropping this load. She cranked herself up and put on her dressing gown, tying the cord over the bump so she looked like a walking easter egg. She waddled to the bathroom, pinned up her hair, washed her face, and slapped on some make-up.
Back in the bedroom she put on a large white bra, pants, black maternity support tights, then a flapping white shirt, grey maternity skirt and flat shoes.
Don was looking at her from the bed.
‘Don’t say anything,’ she warned him, ‘I look terrible, I feel terrible too. The stylish, sexy woman you married has turned into a monster.’
He laughed, but she didn’t.
‘I feel like a whale,’ she complained. ‘I know you’re going to make lots of nice reassuring noises but I am a whale.’
Don said, ‘I’m your whale mate, then. And I love you.’
The doorbell rang. It was the taxi. She and Geoff now took a shared minicab to work. It was a posh minicab, but still a minicab, not a limousine.
Geoff didn’t say anything to her at all now, just ‘Umm’ for Good Morning then hid behind his paper.
It always got like this towards the end of the job. Everyone hated you because your criticisms of their work were made public and acted upon. This was the toughest part. It was the natural human ‘shoot the messenger’ response and she tried not to take it personally.
The baby rolled round in her stomach. She hadn’t had time for breakfast and a hard lump of heartburn was stuck in her chest.
She was glad when she was finally in her little office, closeted away from the growing panic enveloping the company. The merger had just been announced, along with Merris’s resignation from the chief exec position. Everyone now knew big changes were happening and the anxiety was palpable.
Bella Browning, twenty-eight, on her first solo project, had set this all in motion – when she thought about that, she felt nervous.
A call came in on her desk phone from Janice, the executive assistant from Merris’s office, who wanted to know if Bella could go in and see him now.
‘No problem, can you let him know I’ll be there in ten minutes?’ Bella answered thinking aaaargh and scrambling to get some papers together. She could feel her heart thud in her chest and the baby turning inside her stomach.
OK, this was fine. She was going to be fine. She could feel herself toughening up again. Her analysis had been correct, her suggestions good – there was nothing she needed to worry about. If the chairman wanted to hear an update from the horse’s mouth first, ahead of the rest of the team – he could and it would all be OK.
Janice showed her into Merris’s office. Somehow, she’d forgotten how old-fashioned it was – wood panelling, portraits of horses and ancestors on the walls, and Merris himself behind his vast wooden desk in an over-upholstered swivel chair.
As ever, Anthony Merris looked like a dapper politician in a dark three-piece suit, complete with watch chain and gold silk pocket handkerchief. His grey hair was combed back neatly and he fixed his pale blue eyes on her. ‘My word, Bella, you’ve torn through us like a hurricane, haven’t you?’ was his opening gambit.
‘No, not really,’ she said, lowering herself carefully into the chair he’d indicated. ‘Hurricanes are purely destructive, I’m here to help you build something strong for the future.’
‘Yes, I do appreciate that,’ he said, then added, ‘I’m very pleased with the prospective merger.’
He told her the figure he’d achieved, and when she whistled, he laughed at her.
‘And they know all about the pension holders appeal case?’ she asked.
‘They know it’s a remote possibility. You’re very concerned about that, aren’t you?’
‘If you lost that case, it would be a disaster. Although, less of a disaster when you have new partners,’ she said.
‘We won’t lose,’ he replied and made it sound like his final word on the subject.
‘So,’ he continued, ‘I’m moving upstairs to the board, which makes me feel a little sad, but thank you for reminding me that chief executives can’t go on for ever. I don’t know who’s replacing me yet, our new partners will want to have a say in that, but I’ve called you in here, Ms Browning, because I’d like to recommend you for the post of financial director.’
He paused for her reaction, but she didn’t make one. She was thinking about Geoff, the current financial director, tutting at her in the taxi and she wondered where he would be going – elsewhere in the company? Or out of the door?
Merris named his price.
She whistled again.
They looked at each other, then finally she found her voice and said, ‘That is a very generous offer, Mr Merris. I’m honoured that you’d show so much faith in me. But realistically, I’m about five weeks from giving birth for the first time and to be frank… well, I’m not sure if I have the experience yet.’
That was the clincher. A financial directorship would be incredible and would absolutely pay the mortgage but it wasn’t in the career plan yet. She she still had a lot more consulting to get under her belt. And maybe some further financial qualifications too.
But Merris said, ‘Bella, I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think you could do it.’ Then he added, ‘You’re more talented than you know.’
Gosh… that was nice, especially as she had never been sure what he’d thought of her work. But this was much nicer than Susan thinking you were a disappointment.
‘I don’t expect an answer straight away. And, of course, we would pay for you to take maternity leave before joining us. So, think it over. Feel free to come back to me any time in the next few weeks. Agreed?’
She smiled at him, feeling absolutely buoyed by this offer. ‘Agreed,’ she replied. ‘And thank you. It’s a very generous offer and a real show of faith.’
He nodded and gave her a warm smile.
‘Now,’ he said, ‘I’m looking forward to your update because I’m expecting you to tell us that the merger and strategies we’re putting into place, thanks to you, are going to have a very positive effect.’
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I hope that will encourage everyone.’
Then she ran through all the points that she’d put together for him, ahead of her presentation to the full leadership team.
When she was finished, he told her, ‘I’m very grateful for your work. I’ll be telling your boss that too. But I’d rather you came and worked for me than anyone else.’
They smiled conspiratorially at one another. Then she stood up with the feeling that the meeting was drawing to a close.
‘Thank you, Mr Merris, that’s very kind,’ she said, smiling and holding out her hand.
‘You can call me Tony,’ he said shaking her hand firmly and patting her arm. ‘In fact, you already have once.’
She blushed slightly.
‘Yes, I have, sorry— I can be a bit?—’
‘Don’t apologise,’ he cut in. ‘That’s what I like about you, Bella. You’ve got guts. I’m surrounded by “yes” men and look where it’s got me. I think it would do me good to have a “no woman” around.’
‘A “no woman”, I like that.’ She laughed. ‘Thank you so much for your support, Tony. Now, I’d better go and work on the presentation.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I look forward to it.’
She swanned out of his office and back to her own, smiling all the way.
Later, she telephoned Susan to tell her about the latest developments.
‘It’s gone so well, Susan, he even offered me a job, as CFO.’ She said this lightly to imply there was no question of her taking it.
‘And what did you say?’ Susan asked.
‘I told him I had a lot on my mind right now and I’d get back to him. But I’m with you, Susan. I want to let you know how committed I am, despite the baby.’
Despite the baby– she didn’t like herself for saying that. Having a baby was not something she should be apologising for.
‘I appreciate that,’ Susan replied. ‘Are you planning to finish up there next week?’
‘Yes, probably on Wednesday/Thursday.’
‘Well, next Friday, why don’t we take you out for a maternity leave party? And as of then, you are off work. Don’t count it as official leave, have the three weeks extra on us. You deserve it.’
Bella, hearing what sounded dangerously like warmth in Susan’s voice, felt properly touched now.
‘Thanks, Susan,’ she said. ‘That means a lot.’
The following Wednesday, after days of grindingly hard preparation, she made her presentation to a surprisingly large audience that included senior executives from the new partner company too. Her thrust was encouraging but cautious because Merris Group was not out of the woods.
She felt self-conscious as she stood in front of them, vastly pregnant in a black shirt dress bought specially for the occasion. Would they take her as seriously as they should? Ah well, she reminded herself, at the end of the day, that was their problem. She’d done the job she’d been paid to do. And done it well.
Afterwards, there was a small drinks party, so everyone could shake her hand, ask more questions and thank her for her efforts. Later she was back in her little office, emptying her drawers and packing up, when there was a knock at the door.
Janice came in weighed down with a big bunch of flowers.
‘These are from Mr Merris, with compliments,’ she said, passing Bella the enormous bouquet. The note attached read:
Well done, we’d still like you aboard,
Tony
Once Janice had exited, Bella stood in the room, unsure where to put the flowers when there was another knock and Mitch appeared.
‘Whoa, who is your secret admirer?’
‘Tony Merris.’
‘Oh. Really? I’m impressed.’ Then he added, ‘I’m sorry you’re leaving, mainly because all hell is going to break loose here now. I hope.’
‘Yeah, I hope so too. It needs a good shake-up, but there’s going to be plenty of room for good people like you.’
‘I hope so.’ Then Mitch voiced the concern she expected. ‘Do you still think I should stay?’
Bella took some time to weigh up her reply.
‘Mitch, in all honesty, I can’t answer that. It depends who’s doing the reorganisation, and if they do it thoroughly. I’ve asked them to bring in a lot of new talent. And I’m still worried about the court case, if the pension holders win – that’s a lot of money.’
‘Hmmm.’ He didn’t give anything away. ‘Well, anyway, I’ve got you a present.’ He handed her a squishy, wrapped parcel.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have, now I’m really embarrassed because I haven’t got anything for you.’
‘No need. It’s for the baby,’ he added. ‘Open it.’
She unwrapped a small, perfectly adorable, blue velvet frog.
‘It squeaks and it’s machine washable, dads know about that sort of thing.’
‘Thanks very much.’ She was surprised to feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes. ‘How’s your baby? And your wife?’ she asked.
‘She’s doing good, she’s very tired because she’s got two other little people to run around after all day, as well as the baby. But little Lucy is just perfect, thriving.’
They smiled at each other.
‘Keep in touch, Bella. I’ll find you on LinkedIn and let you know what’s happening here. All the very best, especially with delivery day,’ he said and they shook hands warmly.
‘Lovely working with you. You take care,’ she said as he left the room.
So, that was about it. She’d packed up, she’d said her goodbyes. She buzzed reception to get her a cab, then headed out of Merris laden down with bump, bags, laptop and the flowers.
As she flopped into the cab seat, Bella took one last look at the revolving swing doors and impressive marble front. To her surprise, as the taxi moved off, she swallowed down the urge to cry.
Friday night was even more emotional.
She went out with Susan, Chris, Kitty and Hector for dinner and they made baby jokes and lovely appreciative noises about her all night long.
Finally, as dessert and coffees arrived to the maelstrom of empty wine bottles, Chris made a jokey speech about her which ended with a silly poem. Then Kitty brought out a large parcel from under the table.
‘Open it,’ she urged.
Bella cleared a space and undid the wrapper. Inside was a small mountain of exquisite baby clothes: orange and navy velour babygros, beautiful striped and decorated jackets, rompers, tiny suede shoes, a multicoloured hat with ear-flaps and bobble and a mobile of little stuffed clowns on ribbons.
‘Oh my God,’ she was overwhelmed. ‘You found all these lovely things.’
‘Me and Susan,’ said Kitty. ‘Took a whole afternoon.’ That surprised Bella, she tried to picture Susan in a baby shop.
‘Oh, thank you so much.’ Bella looked up at each of the four faces in turn. ‘This is absolutely wonderful. I’m going to cry now.’ And she did. At first able to stem the flow with her napkin, then needing to bury her head in Kitty’s shoulder.
‘Oh God, this is so embarrassing,’ she said when she surfaced. ‘It’s the hormones, I’m starting to go mad.’
It was after midnight when she finally kissed them all good night and climbed into a taxi to go home.
Lights were on in the flat and she hoped Don had waited up for her. He was leaving early tomorrow morning on a foreign assignment which he’d promised would be very short because her due date was getting close now.
‘Hi,’ she called out, opening the front door.
‘I’m in here,’ he answered, his voice sounded incredibly serious. She walked into the dark sitting room, noticing two large holdalls next to the front door as she passed.
Don was sitting on the sofa in silence, no TV, no music on. He didn’t look up at her as she came in. ‘I’ve just found out about your loan,’ he said.
‘What… what do you mean?’ But she was saying this reflexively. She knew exactly what he meant and was trying to buy herself some time.
‘Your personal loan,’ he repeated. ‘Someone called from the bank and asked me some questions that gave the game away.’
‘I’m pretty sure they shouldn’t have done that,’ she said, welling up with fury at the bank and dread at his reaction.
‘I knew that was a huge amount of work to get done for ￡20,000. I couldn’t help thinking something didn’t add up. But I trusted you.’
She’d never heard him sound so angry.
‘I trusted you not to go behind my back and borrow an additional ￡50,000. Jesus, Bella. Jesus! You’re about to have a baby. And it’s the deception. That’s what matters. Not that the money doesn’t matter. But how could you lie to me about this?’
‘Don… can I try to explain?’
‘No! Not right now. I’m too angry.’ He stood up and rounded on her. ‘How could you lie to me?’ he repeated. ‘I’ve always, always trusted you absolutely. You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you? And I’m just supposed to fit into your big plan.’
‘Don, I’m sorry, but you’re being melodramatic. I earn a lot of money. I know you don’t like thinking about that, but I do. The company I’ve been working with offered me the chief financial officer role. I’m expecting to be Susan’s partner after the summer. I wanted the house to be finished, to be lovely. For me, ￡50K is not that big a deal, but I knew you’d make a great big song and dance about it, so guess what? I didn’t tell you.’
There. She felt angry too now. It was her loan, her money. She wanted the house to be done up properly, her way.
‘You know what? I have to get out of here. I can’t listen to this right now,’ he cut in. ‘I’m going to get a cab over to Rod’s and we’ll go to the airport together in the morning.’
He stood up and walked past her to the door.
‘Don’t—’ she said, putting up a hand to stop him. ‘Please don’t—’ but he brushed her off and went into the hall. There, he picked up his bags, then walked out without another word, slamming the door.
He seemed to take all her anger with him and once the front door had banged shut, she slumped down onto the sofa, burying her head in the parcel of baby clothes she was still holding, and wept.