Chapter 23 #2
Her touch, her comfort, her love.
“Nora…” Tommy’s voice breaks the silent air, and we turn to see him, standing there, shirtless, in his pajama pants. I can see the pain etched on his face.
“Tommy…” She pulls away and I hear the sadness, the guilt in her voice.
His eyes water as he adjusts himself, and then he looks at me with so much hurt.
Not her. Me.
“I can explain,” I say, but he holds his hands up.
“No.” It’s one solid word. One heavier than any other.
He looks to Nora, and she pushes me away, and Russell moves back.
Russ says, “Let’s just take it easy, everyone, there’s no need to—”
I sense Tommy’s panic before he bolts, but I’m too late. I move just as he sprints for the door.
“Tommy, wait!” Russell calls out as he runs after him, Nora on his tail. I drop my knife and head for the door with them.
This is all my fault.
I should never have kissed her. Should never have fallen in love with Nora Brighton, and now I’ve destroyed my brother because I couldn’t keep my own needs in check.
I’m a fool.
“Tommy!” Russell calls out, tripping as Tommy rounds the bend. Nora runs after him, but he disappears, and she starts to slow, breathing heavy.
“Thomas Sterling, get your ass back here, right now!” I scream, but it’s useless because I know he’s gone.
Nora kneels to help Russell. “We have to find him, we have to—” She sounds frantic.
Russell pulls her close, and I can’t take my eyes off of them.
“We’ll get him back, baby, don’t worry. He just…needs some space.”
I watch as she buries her face in his chest. His eyes meet mine with a silent understanding as Nora lets out a sob.
“This is all my fault, I—”
I don’t think, I just act. I take two steps toward her.
Toward them.
I wrap my arms around them, and Russell gently directs her into my arms.
“No, it’s my fault, princess.” I sigh. “All of this…is my fault.”
She pushes off of me and looks up at me. “What are we doing standing here? We need to—”
“You need to shower. Get dressed.” I look at both of them. “You’re not going to get very far in Tommy’s shirt and no shoes,” I say with a half smirk. She looks down at herself as if remembering her place.
“Come on, let’s get you changed and—”
Nora nods, wiping her eyes as Russell walks with her toward the house.
“I’ll text you if I find him,” I say to Russell. He nods, settling his hand on her back as he guides her.
“Right.”
I walk three blocks before they text me that they’re dressed and on the hunt. I tell them to go the opposite direction, and when we reconvene, neither of us show up with much.
“I called Zack. He said Tommy called him, but didn’t say where he was going,” Russell says.
“Where would he go?” I ask. “The university?”
Russell shakes his head. “No, no classes today. It’s his day off.”
“Where does he usually go on his off day?” Nora asks through her sobs.
“No clue,” I say. “Sometimes he has games or he and Zack meet up and—”
“The park,” Nora says, stopping us both in our tracks.
“What?”
She wipes her eyes. “The park. I saw him last night, he had a game. We went out…on a date…and…”
Russell lets out a deep sigh. “I didn’t know you and Tommy were…”
Nora takes a few steps forward, leading us in the direction. I follow her without question.
The birds tweet and the sun is shining, but there’s a melancholy cloud over us.
“It’s…” Her voice falters.
“Complicated,” I say with a sigh. “Yeah…I get that.”
Nora sniffles as Russell flanks her right side. I take the left without thinking.
“Yeah. I never expected to have feelings for him or…” She looks to me and then at Russell. “You. All of you.”
Her words hit me like a brick in the chest. All of us?
“This is a mess,” she says through another sob. “I don’t even know how this happened, it just—”
“Hey.” I grab her hand and kiss the back. Russell watches but doesn’t say anything. “Whatever it is that we need to do, we’ll fix it.” I look at Russ. “Right?”
Russell wraps an arm around her waist as he gives her a soft smile. “Right.”
When we get to the park, I don’t see him at first. The parking lot’s full, and it looks like there’s a little kids’ game going on.
Nora spots him and runs from my grasp, leaving Russell and me alone.
I look at him in question. “So, you…me…Nora…”
Russell crosses his arms as he nods to Tommy and Nora. She pulls Tommy into her arms, and he buries his face in her shoulder.
“And Tommy.”
“All in love with the same person,” I say carefully.
“Yeah. Guess so,” Russell says. “You know how I feel about Nora. You’ve known for a long time, so let’s not pretend that we don’t know what’s going on here.”
“What is that?” I ask.
“We’re all dating and sleeping with Brett’s ex-girlfriend.”
I tense at his words.
“How do we do this?” I ask. “Without hurting each other?” I look at Tommy as they sit on the bleachers together, seeming to talk. She takes his hand in hers, and I see the way he looks at her. He’s definitely in love with her; I can see that a mile away.
And I kissed the woman he loves. He doesn’t even know we’ve been together, or about her and Russ…
“Because if you’re going to ask me to give her up, I—”
“How about we ask Nora what she wants?” Russ says carefully.
“What about Tommy?” I ask.
Russell takes a step forward toward them. I stand still.
“Ask him too.” He shrugs.
“And if he says…no?” I carefully ask, not wanting to admit what we’re talking about here, because if I do…if I admit I’m considering sharing Nora with my brothers—who seem to love her as much as I do—I think I might pass out.
“If he says no, then that’s his choice. It’s not going to stop me from being with her if that’s what she wants. Just like you won’t stop me either.”
Russell stands his ground firmly, and I have to admire him for that. Because right now, it feels like the earth is being pulled out from under me.
I saunter behind him as he approaches Tommy and Nora, curled together on the bleachers. Her arms are wrapped around his waist, and his arm around her. I have to admit, they look good together.
Russell flanks her other side and she doesn’t move. He looks at Tommy.
“You okay?” he asks.
Tommy shakes his head. “No.”
I sigh as Nora tightens her grip.
“I knew about you and Nora,” Tommy says carefully, looking at Russ.
“You knew?” Nora asks, looking up at him.
Tommy nods. “I saw you the night you two—” He coughs, his cheeks turning pink. “So I knew something was going on with you two, and it didn’t bother me. I mean, I didn’t think it bothered me, considering I watched you two—” He stiffens. “Never mind.”
Russell lets out a laugh. “Oh, shit.”
We all stare at him as he continues laughing like a lunatic.
“Anyway…” Tommy continues, “I…didn’t freak out at that. I knew it was happening, and I pushed myself anyway, because I thought…” He looks at Nora. “I thought I had a chance, you know?”
“You do,” she says calmly.
Tommy looks at me. “I just didn’t know you had feelings for her too.”
My shoulders loosen. “It’s…”
“Complicated?” Nora asks.
I nod, running a hand over my head. “I meant what I said. Russell…Tommy…” I look between my brothers. “They are better for you. I’m…I’m never going to run right, Nora. I’m damaged. But…”
I look at her and at my brothers. “I told you once, whatever you want, I would give it to you. That wasn’t a lie.”
Tommy looks at me with tears in his eyes.
“Question is, Nora, what do you want?” Russell asks.
It’s quiet as we sit there, surrounding our girl. Because I know that’s what she is. Ours.
We all want the best for her. We all love her. We all want her to pick us.
But maybe she doesn’t have to. Maybe what Russell said…maybe it could work? If we put Nora first, above our own needs, just maybe…
“You,” she says through tears as she looks at Tommy. “You make me feel like I’m living in the middle of some teenage fever dream. Like the song. Everything’s so bright and new and warm…” He smiles and then she looks at Russ.
“You,” she whispers. “You stoke this fire in me, Russ, and every time I’m with you I feel this rush of confidence. Like I can do anything…” Russell smirks at her. Then she turns her gaze to me.
“You…Freddie…” She reaches for my hand, and I don’t miss how Tommy watches or how Russ glances at me.
I carefully take her hand, running my thumb over the back, over her knuckles.
“You think you aren’t worth the love you give, but you are. You make me feel cared for and loved, and appreciated, and it has nothing to do with what you buy me. It’s just…you. I love you too, Freddie, and I just want the chance to make you feel the things you make me feel.”
It’s hard for me to look at her, hearing those words.
“I want you all in different ways because you love me in different ways, and I don’t want that to disappear.” She looks up at Tommy. “I don’t want any of it to disappear, but I don’t want to lie to anyone either.”
“It doesn’t have to disappear,” Russell says. “If you want to be with us…be with us.”
Tommy looks up at me and Russell in question. “What are you saying?” he asks.
“I think what Russell is proposing, Tommy, is that Nora doesn’t have to choose someone. She can have everything she wants.” I look from Tommy to Nora. “She can have everyone she wants, as long as we’re all on the same page.”
“Oh,” he says. He turns to Nora. “Is that what you want?”
Her eyes are cloudy, and she looks like she’s going to cry.
“Would you still want me if I said yes?” she asks, her voice shaking.
Tommy doesn’t hesitate to answer her. “If it’s what you want…and it means you still want me…and some kind of future with me…then yes.” He sighs. “Because that’s all I want. You. So if this is how I get you—”
“Oh, Tommy,” she cries as she pulls him close and kisses him. In front of me and Russell, and the entire stack of bleachers.
Russell pulls her from Tommy, and he lets her go. Russell places a kiss in her hair.
“Always knew he was smart,” Russell says with a wink. Tommy lets out a chuckle.
Then Russell and Nora turn their sights on me.
“How about you, Daddy?” Russell asks with a smirk.
I tense, because I didn’t think anyone else knew about my preferred title. But even though I expect to feel pissed or betrayed, I don’t.
In fact, it’s the opposite. I feel almost relieved, like another layer of my cocoon has shed.
I step up to Nora and grab her hand. I bring it to my lips to kiss. “Whatever my princess wants, my princess gets.”
She smiles, and my heart warms.
“So that’s it,” Tommy says. “We’re…good?” He looks between us. “All of us are…good?”
I settle my hand on his shoulder. “Yes, Tommy Boy, I’d say we are.”
Russell lets out a sigh as Nora falls into my arms with ease. “Well, in that case, we better get a move on because we have practice. Game tonight.”
“Right, game day breakfast,” Nora says.
“You should come,” Russell says. “To the game tonight.” He looks between her and Tommy. “Bring your boyfriend.”
Tommy’s eyes light up like the Fourth of July at that sentiment.
Nora smiles as they both get up. “I get out of work at five.”
Tommy helps her down from the bleachers. “I can pick you up if you want. We could grab some dinner first?”
Nora smiles. “That would be lovely.”
And as we walk back to the house, the sun shining and the birds chirping in victory, I think that this is shaping up to be the best day ever.
Because I finally have Nora, and my family, and nothing could be better than that.