21. Hayden
21
HAYDEN
W e’d been together since Friday evening, except for when he met the new security guys at the hotel. And even then, he wasn’t gone all that long. So when Declan pulled the SUV to the curb outside my apartment, the guys spilled out, but I waited. I was at a loss. He wasn’t, though.
“I don’t want to go…”
His admission allowed me to make one of my own.
“I don’t want you to.”
His cheeks pinkened, and he ducked his head. I’d not seen him blush before. He was sexy enough as it was, but the shyness turned up the volume on the cute factor.
He cleared his throat.
“You’ve gotta go,” I said.
He nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
“We need to talk about what this means, what we’re going to do.”
“We will. Let me check in with the team, first. I kinda abandoned them after a meeting.”
“They didn’t know where you were going?”
“No. The client we had made things difficult, and I bailed. They only found out when I messaged Walker about the suite.”
“Oh, I thought you’d messaged Marcos.”
He smirked at me, and I wanted to wipe it from his face.
“No. I messaged him once Walker told me the suite was ours if we wanted it.”
I grumbled under my breath, and he laughed.
“You have nothing to worry about. We fucked once.”
“Who said I was worried?”
“Okay. I’ll let you deny it, but we both know the truth.”
Jesus. That word. Let. It made me want to fuck him into submission.
“Kiss me, Papi.”
His words. His demand. Those also made me twitchy. I wanted to see where things went with him. I honestly did, but I had no idea how this would work. Even if I topped from the bottom, being the one in control, in the bedroom at least, was an essential part of who I was. But he didn’t like being in the submissive role. And it didn’t fit him at all.
Not like it did me.
Even if it was only with him.
I got out of the car after kissing him stupid, vowing to put some space between us. I needed to think. The only thinking I got done with him around was with my cock. Which would’ve been fine if we were on the same page, but we weren’t.
So… yeah, I needed to figure some shit out. I had two options—come to terms with walking away from him or, if I wanted to be with him, letting go of parts of myself that made me me.
I opened the door to my apartment after he drove away. My duffel hit the floor inside the door. I’d deal with that tomorrow after work. For now, I was ready for a shower and bed. PT came early, but first, I needed to get things done for the upcoming week.
I flipped the television to the music channel I liked, started the washer, and dumped in my uniforms before moving to the kitchen to knock out the meal prep. The monotonous tasks of chopping, cutting, and portioning were only interrupted by switching out the laundry.
By the time everything was done, so was I. Spending time with Declan had an adverse effect on my dick and my sleep. Not that I was complaining. The sex was the best I’d ever had, and since I was a slut, that was saying a lot.
My footfalls on the carpeted stairs were whisper quiet. I pulled my clothes off and flipped on the shower. Steam filled the bathroom as I pushed open the curtain. Metal rings on a metal shower rod joined the sound of rushing water and…
“Dammit!”
My phone rang in the distance.
Foregoing the towel, I rushed to the bedroom, certain I left the phone in the pocket of my sweats, but it wasn’t there.
“Shit!”
The phone went silent, and I contemplated blowing it off, but I knew that notification. There was only one reason my phone rang. I rushed down the stairs to find I’d laid it on the table next to the front door with my keys. I picked it up and swiped it open to read the notification.
“Fuck!”
I spun on my heel and raced back to the bathroom. I flipped off the faucets. I could forget the shower. There wasn’t time.
Pulling on some boxer briefs, I grabbed my gear, dropped it at the door, then rounded up my uniforms and dumped them on the couch before readying the apartment for deployment. The alert said our training cruise was canceled, but with deployment looming, I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t return to port.
Once everything was gathered and packed, I dressed as fast as possible. It wasn’t until I sat down to lace up my boots that I remembered Declan. I don’t know that I would’ve thought about him at all if the light hadn’t caught on the shiny gold band on my finger.
“Shit.”
What the fuck am I supposed to do with a husband in this situation? I laughed out loud.
“Jesus, what a fucking mess.”
I glanced at the clock. I didn’t have much time, but maybe there was enough to check in with him. After contemplating texting him, I decided to call.
“Missed me already, huh?”
He had no freaking clue. Only the order notification had removed him from my mind since he’d left.
“What’s the matter, Papi?”
I wet my lips, sighing loud enough that I was sure he heard me. “Something’s come up.”
“I like it when your something comes up.”
Dear God, could he get any cheesier?
“I wish that was the something, but it’s not. I wasn’t sure what to do in this situation. I mean, there’s not much I can say. Fuck, there’s not much I know.”
All hilarity disappeared, and his voice turned serious. “What do you know?”
“Our training exercise was canceled. We got orders, so we’re mobilizing.”
He didn’t say anything, but I could hear him moving about, so the connection hadn’t been lost. When he still hadn’t said anything after a minute or two, I pulled the phone from my ear to double-check that the call hadn’t been dropped.
A deep voice in the background said something, but I couldn’t make out what it was. Then finally, Declan asked, “Do… Is there anything I can do?”
The vows I’d made to him that I didn’t remember and the one I made to myself when he dropped me off fought each other.
“Tell me,” he demanded, and for some reason, his assertiveness didn’t grate on my nerves like it had earlier.
“Come see me off?”
Oh, shit! What the hell was I thinking?
“Absolutely. Tell me where.”
It took me a second to process how easily he’d said yes.
“I’ll send you the info.”
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
I glanced at the clock and swore under my breath. I was running behind.
“I’ve gotta go, but if you change your mind…” I said, giving him an out and preparing myself for disappointment.
“I won’t. I’ll be there.”
His promise filled me with enough warmth and happiness to make me feel like I could take to the skies like Superman.
Before hanging up, I mumbled something, what I wasn’t sure. I hoped it wasn’t anything stupid. I dropped Declan a pin so he could meet me and finished lacing up my boots. A last glance around the apartment for anything I might have missed and opened my duffel for my e-reader. Stuffing it in my laptop bag, I double-checked I still had chargers for it and my phone. With everything in order, I did a sweep of the house before locking up and heading out to my car.
I parked, getting out to unload my gear. A hand landed on my upper back, and I turned to see Priest, Scott, and Cameron. I looked for Lucia and Ewen but didn’t see either of them.
“They didn’t get the call. They were put on alert to follow if need be, though.”
Priest’s job gave him access to the orders and battle plan before it got handed down to the rest of us, so I nodded.
“So…” Cameron said, looking around with a grin, “Where’s the hubby?”
“Right here.”
I spun on my heels, executing an about-face as I let my gear hit the deck. I couldn’t believe he came. Declan stood with a few others, a woman and man, both younger than him, and another man who appeared older. All of them had similar features, giving me the impression they were family.
Declan ignored the others, pulled me into his arms, and whispered, “I tried ditching them, but they’re like leeches when they think they’re going to miss out on something.”
Tucking my face into his neck, I replied, “No worries. I gotta meet them sometime, right?”
I hated how hesitant my voice sounded, but even more, I hated how much her actions still affected me.
“Absolutely, Papi.”
He eased back, and I cupped his face in my hands, bringing his mouth to mine. I needed a taste.
“Well, we’ve lost them,” Priest said. “I’m Jonathan Priestly, or just Priest.”
“Nice to meet you, Gunny. We’re the rude ass’s cousins. I’m Walker, that’s my cousin, Heidi, and her brother, Lincoln.”
“That’s Zander Cameron and Scott Blackstone, and the guy sucking face is Hayden Marin.”
I let the kiss come to an end, staring down into Declan’s eyes. The blue-green shade I still couldn’t name was becoming my favorite color. His cheeks pinkened, and I leaned in for another kiss, trying to keep this one chaste.
When we parted, Declan kept one arm around my waist as he turned back to his family. “Hayden, these are my cousins, Walker, Heidi, and Linc. Guys, this is Hayden.”
I reached my hand toward Walker, shaking his hand, then the others. I eyed Walker, and he returned the favor. There was something familiar about him. Hell, there was something familiar about Declan and Linc, too, now that I got a look at the three of them together, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
The niggling thought made my brain itch, but I blew it off. The rumble of the plane’s engines started up in the distance.
Walker looked at Declan, then at me and the guys, and said, “You guys stay safe downrange. Declan, we’ll be in the truck.”
Heidi and Linc waved at us, and the guys moved off, taking my gear with them. I’d have to thank them for the privacy and extra time them stowing my gear gave me. Turning away from them, my gaze danced over the face of my husband, a man I barely knew. Giving this a go was stupid as fuck, but…
“Second thoughts?” he asked.
I leaned against my car, pulling him to stand between my splayed thighs. Our bodies aligned, and my dick twitched. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I’m a horny motherfucker, and my husband is sexy as sin.”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
I looked out over my fellow Marines, taking in the sadness and love I’d ignored in the past, certain that life wasn’t for me. My gaze returned to Declan, and I said, “I’ve never done this.”
“Saying goodbye on the tarmac.”
I nodded. “My ex never came. We said goodbye at her place.”
“Well, I’m here now.”
My head bobbed again, and all the shit I felt and wanted to say got stuck in my throat. I rolled my lips into my mouth and cleared my throat.
“I’ve not updated anything…”
“It’s okay. I don’t want to rush you. We’re not even sure…”
“I’m sure. I want to give this a go.”
“Okay then. I’ll keep my ear to the ground and ask Walker to do the same. He’s got connections at Pendleton.”
“Was he a Marine?”
“Yes, he was.”
Declan’s arms squeezed me to him when the officers and staff NCOs began yelling for people to load up. He looked up at me, and I cupped his face with one hand while holding him against me with the other.
“I wanna give this a try, too. It’s stupid of us both because what you like grates on my fucking last nerve, but I can’t help how you make me feel. Which is also ridiculous because we met a fucking week ago, but I’m smart enough to know whatever this is, it’s too rare to let it go without first trying to make it work.”
I dropped my forehead to his and said, “All that and more, vato.”
“Now, kiss me, Papi, and get your ass on the plane.”
Our lips met, and emotion hit me like a tsunami, crashing over me and sweeping me away. I raised to my feet from the car without breaking the kiss.
“Let’s go, Marin. Uncle Sam waits for no one.”
Declan pulled away. When I opened my eyes, he stared back at me.
“Come back to me, Papi.”
“I’ll do my damnedest, carin?,” I said, rushing to the plane like some clueless chucklenut straight out of boot camp.