29. Hayden
29
HAYDEN
A s everyone finished eating, people started cleaning up. I tried to help, but Gunny and I were sent to change, then relegated to a couple of chairs, handed a bucket of beer, and told cleaning wasn’t the job of the people being celebrated.
“You found yourself a good one, kid.”
“Thanks, Gunny. I think so, too.”
I tilted the beer bottle up, but it was empty. I sat it down and looked around us, picking up and discarding bottle after empty bottle. A niggling thought in the back of my head told me I needed to cut myself off, but I ignored it. The day had been fucking crazy ass stressful, and drowning my nerves was the only way I could think to get through it. Stupid, because one, I had been drinking in uniform while eating, and two, Gunny and several high-ranking men were here. No one seemed put off about the alcohol consumption. Gunny was just as glassy-eyed as I was when we were sent to change out of our Deltas. Plus, I didn’t know about Gunny, but a Navy SEAL was the one who gave me the beer. Then, once we sat down here, the vets in the group kept our beer stash from ever running dry.
“Let me clean that up,” Walker said, sitting down another bucket of beer before whisking away the other one.
Case in point.
I wanted to get Declan back to my place and deal with the boner I’d spent the afternoon fighting. The thought of fucking him silly played like a movie reel on repeat, but I’d gotten way too far gone to drive anytime soon.
A little while passed without Gunny or I saying anything. Both of us were just sitting, drinking, and watching the flurry of activity that moved the yard further away from a backyard picnic and righting it to the magazine perfectness.
Gunny leaned toward me and asked, “I ain’t ever seen a yard like this in real life.”
I chuckled at Gunny’s thicker southern accent. “Right? This place is un-fucking-real.”
The work continued, and the drinks kept flowing. Every time I thought we’d emptied the bucket, I’d look up, and the bucket was full, and the empties were gone. I didn’t know how many I drank, but when I noticed Declan coming toward me, there was one-and-a-half of him.
Wait.
Nope.
There were two Declans.
Damn. Two vatos would be fun.
Unless he’s in a pissy toppy mood.
Oh. Yeah. I don’t know if I could handle two Toppy Vatos.
“Who’re you talking to? Who’s Toppy Vato?”
“Huh?”
“How’re you two doing?” Declan asked.
“He’s talking to himself wasted, and I’m way past good,” Gunny said. “I’m also wondering how I’m getting my ass home. Y’all done got me drunk.”
“You got your truck keys, Gunny?” Walker asked when he walked up.
“Yessir.”
“Gimme them.”
“Hand yours over too, Hayden,” Declan ordered.
“Vato’s being bossy.”
Gunny nearly fell out laughing while fighting to get his keys out of his pocket.
“Damn, Gunny, how much you had?”
“Shut yer mouth, kid.”
“Yessir.”
“Hayden, the keys.”
“What?”
“Fuck me,” Declan growled, gripping my thighs.
“Vato, carin?, I’ll fuck you, but you gotta wait. Your mama and daddy are watching. That’s a bit weird.”
“Declan, get the boy in the house before the kids learn about things they’re too young to know yet.”
“Vato…”
“Shut up. Not another word.”
“ ?Sí carino! Pero tengo muchas ganas de chingarte. Pero primero quiero comerte el culo. ”
“ Mijo, somos de Texas. Todos hablamos espanol. ”
My gaze traveled from Declan’s face to his dad, who was standing behind him. “You speak Spanish?”
“Like I said, son, we’re from Texas. The whole family speaks Spanish. Even the kids, so maybe cool it on telling your husband what you want to do to him in bed.”
“Oh. That’s bad. Like no bueno bad.”
Laughter erupted from around the yard, and Declan turned, looking around, and said, “Y’all assholes who kept feeding them beer while I helped clean up, get over here and help me.”
Brock and Adam came over and helped Declan get me on my feet. I bitched about it until the alcohol cut my knees out from under me, and the ground rushed toward me.
“Whoa!” I cried.
“Fuck he’s heavy,” said the little one in the hot gay couple who could fucking cook.
“That’s cause you’re pocket-sized,” I told him.
“I should let you fucking kiss the ground, but I like your husband too much, and I’m a fucking patriot.”
“Get your own husband. That one’s mine!” Then I remembered what else he said. Confused, I looked at him, cocking my head. “I thought you were a SEAL?”
“Jesus, that boy is done for!”
“I’m not.”
Declan stood in front of me. “C’mon, big guy. Let’s get you to the bedroom. Maybe a shower will sober you up.”
Adam and Brock guided me across the backyard. Behind me, Declan yelled, “Eight weeks. Eight long, lonely weeks. I hate you all. I hope you know that.”
Laughter broke out behind me, and I tried to look around, but the world twirled on its axis.
“Declan, come help Brock get him to the bedroom. I’ll get all the stuff you’ll need for the night.”
“Thanks, Adam.”
“No problem. We shoulda warned you. Foster and Walker are assholes. They did the same thing to Brock and I. Only they got us both shitfaced.”
“I’m not shitfaced.”
“Dude, you’re so far past shitfaced it’s comical,” Brock laughed.
“I’m still trying to figure out who told my parents we were married.”
“I don’t think anyone did.”
“Whattya mean?” I asked vaguely, realizing that didn’t sound quite right. “Why’s my mouth thick and fuzzy?”
“Because you’re drunk, Hayden. But to answer your question, Declan, you’re wearing wedding rings and looking at each other with heart eyes, and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself if you tried.”
“Why’d we try that?” I asked.
“Umm, because there were kids and your in-laws present, not to mention your Gunnery Sergeant.”
We stopped, and I looked around.
“This ain’t my house.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“But I need to get back to my house. Vato, we need to get back to the apartment. I have plans for that ass.”
“We will go back to your place, Papi. Tomorrow. Tonight, we’re staying here.”
“We can still fuck, though, right?”
“Man, I don’t need to know about y’alls sex life. Keep it to yourselves until I’m outta the room,” Brock said, lowering me down on the edge of the bed.
“Where’s here?”
“The house belongs to the security firm.”
I looked around the room. “I don’t work for the security firm. We’re not breaching protocols, are we?”
“You’ve not…”
“No, we’re not doing anything wrong. This house belongs to my Uncle Matthew. He owns the company.”
Brock looked between us and said, “Declan…”
I stretched my eyes open, trying to figure out what was going on. Declan looked at Brock for a long time. Or maybe it was a short time. I didn’t know because I yawned so big I couldn’t see.
“Thanks, Adam. You can put those there. I’ve got him from here.”
I looked at Declan, and, yep, he was still staring at Brock, Adam next to him, and they were both staring at Declan and me. The looks on their faces had me pushing to my feet, the fog clearing a bit. Declan looked wary like he was afraid of something.
“What’s going on?”
Declan turned and smiled up at me. His hands were on my chest. After a quick glance to be sure he was okay, I pulled him against me and stared at Adam and Brock over his shoulders. I didn’t wanna piss anyone off, but Declan was distressed, and I didn’t like it.
“I think moving around is sobering me up, guys. Declan and I got it from here. Thank you.”
They both looked like they wanted to say something but remained silent until Adam grabbed Brock’s arm and said, “C’mon, Rocket. Let’s leave them be. Declan knows what he’s doing.”
“Yeah, I don’t think he does,” Brock said as they left.
As soon as the door closed behind them, I dropped to the bed, pulling Declan to stand between my thighs, looking down at me. I licked my lips and blinked several times while taking a few deep breaths to steady the room that seemed more like it was in the bow of a battleship in a typhoon than a house in a swanky neighborhood on the coast.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing,” he said, but he didn’t meet my gaze.
Lie flashed through my alcohol-soaked brain. I wanted to address it, needed to, but there was no way I had the mental capacity for that.
“Declan…”
“I promise it’s nothing.”
I sighed a deep, heavy exhale before I said, “Just promise me, you’ll tell me. Soon.”
“I promise.”
I nodded. His promise was as reassuring as he intended or as I wanted, but I let the issue die. There were other things I wanted more than to push for something bound to fuck up this thing between us before it got started.
I pulled my shirt over my head.
“Jesus, Papi, that body…”
“A six-week training float gives a guy lots of time to think.”
“Yeah, thinking didn’t make those abs.”
I shoved his shirt up and laid a row of licking, sucking, nipping kisses across his belly above the waist of his shorts.
“Get rid of the shirt.”
He did as I told him. I gazed up his body at his down-turned face. My hands slid up the legs of his shorts as far as possible, and I growled.
“Strip, vato. I wanna see you.”
Shuddered breaths moved in and out of him as he lost his shorts and toed off his deck shoes. My eyes ran over him as my hands climbed the backs of his legs, pulling him toward me.
“Eres tan jodidamente hermoso.”
“So are you, Papi. Big and beautiful. You make me feel…”
“How do I make you feel, carin?? Tell me.”
“Needy. Gorgeous. Seen.”
“Good. That’s what I want for you. I want you to feel safe enough with me to be who you are and not who you’re expected to be by yourself or by others. Is that something you want, or are you still struggling with it?”
He whimpered, and his chin trembled. I got to my feet, pulling him against me. “Tell me what’s wrong?”
He shook his head. This was not the time for this conversation, but the gravity of whatever had passed between Declan and his buddies moving around had helped lift the drunken fog that was threatening.
“Declan, you need to talk to me. I need to hear the truth. I don’t want to push you too hard or do something you’re uncomfortable with.”
“I struggle with how you make me feel, but I want to feel it,” he whispered. “I want to be with you. I want to be what you want and need.”
“Are you sure you’re okay giving up control to me, even if you’re the one doing the fucking?”