Chapter 26 - Andie
Chapter Twenty-Six - Andie
After my flip out in front of Spencer, I needed time to think without him being around.
Pulling my focus to work seemed like the best strategy.
I can’t forget about him, but at the same time I’m not sure I’m ready to give myself to someone else completely.
I thought ignoring him would make him realize I’m not the right girl for him.
I thought he would forget about me and allow me to move on without having to make the hard choices.
Spencer deserves better, someone without my issues.
He needs a girl who can love him with no fear.
I read every text he sends, each one twisting the knife deeper in my chest. Each voicemail gives me another reason to cry myself to sleep.
I’m torn between responding to him and shielding him from my emotional baggage.
He’s relentless though, continually checking up and making sure I’m okay.
He even left notes and flowers to tell me he’ll be here when I’m ready to talk. It would be easier if he gave up, if he just walked away like any rational person would. His persistence makes keeping my walls up harder and I’m not sure if I’m grateful or terrified about that.
After a long day at the hospital, I just want to collapse, but Maddie won’t let me fall back into old habits. We have our weekly movie tonight which means coming home to find Maddie sitting on the couch waiting for me.
“How was today?” she asked, pouring wine into two glasses. She’s been treating me like a glass doll ever since my breakdown, hoping I don’t fall and shatter.
“Busy, but still good. The crazy stories, the hustle of the day, it’s been good getting back into. I’ve kinda missed it.”
“I’m so glad you had a good day.” Maddie’s face lights up as she rubs her hands together excitedly.
“So . . . I got a few movie selections and lots of options for dessert. I’ll let you do the honors and pick our movie tonight.
” She holds out a mix of genres so I can see—a romantic comedy, an action adventure, and one that looks like a horror movie.
“Take your pick, but I’m voting for the horror movie. ”
“Definitely that one.” I take a sip of my wine while she starts the feature presentation. I manage to get lost in the movie until my phone buzzes from another text. My stomach does that familiar flip when I see Spencer’s name on the screen.
“Who’s that?” Maddie asks, catching the conflicted expression that crosses my face.
“No one, don’t worry about it.” I take another sip of my wine, I hope she’ll drop the whole conversation. Wishful thinking.
“Spencer’s texting again, isn’t he?” She must have seen my eyes roll, because she pauses the movie to keep pressing the subject. “Andie, talk to the man. I get that you freaked out, but he deserves to know why you bolted.”
Play the movie please. I don’t want to talk about this.
“It’s obvious he really likes you, especially with how he blows up your phone. Don’t even get me started with the botanical garden in our place. Just talk to the poor guy.”
“Damn it! Maddie please, can we not talk about this right now?” She’s not letting this go, and my frustration is building.
“Abso-fucking-lutely not, this affects me. My best friend is struggling. A guy that is crazy about her, turned our place into a jungle and she wants to ignore it.” Maddie is fed up with my antics, and I can’t really blame her.
There’s only so long one can go before they have to face the consequences.
“Not happening . . . talk to him or I will. I’m done waiting for you to explain.
He deserves to know what’s happening. Either work it out or let the guy move on. ”
“What do you want me to say? ‘Hey Spencer, sorry I led you on. Sorry I made you think we could be together, but I’m not over my dead husband yet. Oh well . . . maybe we could still be friends?’”
“Don’t be condescending with me Andie, it’s not a good look on you. Besides you know that isn’t what I’m saying.”
“So, what are you saying?” I snap.
“Okay, hear me out, maybe instead of shutting him out. You explain what happened that night. Talk to him about what you’re feeling.”
Yes, why didn’t I think of that. If it was that easy, I would have done it already.
“Don’t you think he has a right to know instead of just being ignored? I mean put yourself in his shoes.” She’s right, of course she is, but am I ready to let him in? Will I ever be ready? Probably not, but he does deserve an explanation for my Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde performance.
“Fine, I’ll talk to him. Can we just move on now?” Her smile grows across her face, realizing she won.
“Absolutely, once you at least respond to his message and call him.” She reaches over snatching my phone off the coffee table, placing the phone in my hand, she gives me a stern look to ensure compliance.
I take a calming breath and open his contact. It’s only one phone call. What could possibly go wrong? Pushing the call button and placing the phone to my ear, I find myself secretly hoping he doesn’t answer.
“I’m gonna give you some privacy,” Maddie whispers, squeezing my shoulder before heading to the kitchen.
Ring, ring, ring.
Please don’t pick up.
As I’m about to hang up, his voice comes over the phone. “Hello.”
Speechless I keep the phone to my ear. Hearing his voice makes it next to impossible to talk. My throat closes up, and I freeze with my words like I’m having a stroke or something.
“Andie? Are you there?” There’s a note of worry from the slight shake in his voice that finally breaks through my vocal paralysis.
“Hi . . . I’m sorry.”
“Andie, Sweetheart don’t apologize. I’m just glad you finally called.”
“I wanted to say sorry for ignoring you. You deserve an explanation.”
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“Not like this Spencer, I think you deserve to hear it in person.” I plead with him. I’ll regret this later, knowing that physically seeing him will weaken my ability to stay strong.
“Why don’t we meet up? I’ll come over and we can talk.” My heart rate doubles at the thought of being alone with him again. The memory of his arms around me, the sense of belonging I felt right before everything went wrong—it’s too much.
“No! I mean, how about we meet at the café down the street tomorrow morning, say nine?” A public space and an easy escape if needed is exactly what this situation calls for.
“All right, I’ll see you then. And Andie?”
I wait, listening for his final words before hanging up. “Thank you for calling me back, I was really worried about you, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Spencer.” I hang up the phone just as Maddie comes back to join me on the couch. The half smile on her face tells me she’s proud that I finally made the call. I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring, but I hope I will have the strength to tell him everything.