32. Bishop
bishop
. . .
I was out of breath by the time I reached the barn. Not because it was a far jog but because it felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack.
I’d never had one before, but that’s what it felt like.
My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, and my palms were dripping with sweat.
I wiped them on my jeans as I slowed my gait, looking up to see Josie and Lennox headed down from the loft.
The lighting was dim, but I swore the girls had tears in their eyes.
They both stopped at the bottom of the staircase when they saw me.
“Hey, Bishop,” Josie said, sniffling. She gave me a small smile. “Sorry, we lost track of time. We’ll be right there.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, I just wanted to talk to Lennox if that was okay.”
“Sure. Of course. I’ll see you out there.” Josie squeezed her sister’s hand and walked away, leaving us alone.
Lennox nodded, gaze slowly sliding my way. She leaned against the railing, the light from the large window upstairs silhouetting her body. “What’s up? Is something wrong? ”
“No,” I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “I just wanted to talk to you about earlier?—”
“I was waiting for this,” she said with a sigh. “Look, Bishop, it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean it. We don’t have to make a bigger deal out of this. Let’s just forget it.”
Forget it? What the hell was she talking about? “No. That’s not what I want?—”
“I really don’t want to do this right now, okay? We have too much going on this weekend, and I can’t handle you walking away again, so if you could wait to end things, that’d be appreciated.”
“Wait… That’s what you think?” I asked, rocking forward onto my toes.
Lennox wouldn’t even look at me. She stared at Titan’s stall with tears welling as she crossed her arms over her body. “I get you’re trying to be a gentleman, but?—”
Enough of that.
I surged forward, tossing her over my shoulder and storming into my office down the hall. She called my name, beating her fists against my back like she did every time, but I wasn’t going to stop. Not until she fucking listened to me.
I slammed the door and flipped the lock before setting her down on my desk. The room was a mess and smelled like leather and horses, but what else was a cowboy’s office supposed to smell like? I rarely used the room.
“What the hell, Bishop?” Lennox shouted. She tried to hop off, but I stepped between her thighs and trapped her.
I reached out and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at me. Her blue eyes were red-rimmed and slightly glassy. Had she been crying? Was she bitching about me to Josie? The thought alone made my chest ache. I felt like a massive dick.
“I tell you I’m in love, and you automatically think I’m breaking up with you?” I whispered harshly. “What kind of fucked up logic is that? ”
“Because you didn’t mean it, and that’s okay. I know you’re preparing to run. I can feel it. Right here,” she said, slamming her hand over her chest. Her heart. “Please let me walk away with some dignity before I lose it.”
“I’m not letting you walk away at all, sweetheart,” I said, tightening my hold. “Not now. Not ever. You are fucking mine , and I’m gonna prove it.”
Her lips parted, a whimper slipping through before I crushed my lips to hers. I didn’t want to be soft. I wanted her to realize that I wasn’t running away.
Lennox wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. Her legs parted and I settled against her center. We paused momentarily, looking at the other for a signal to stop. If that’s what she wanted, I’d walk away right now.
But god, I prayed she didn’t.
“I want you to listen to me when I say this, killer…” She nodded, and I continued. “I am so disgustingly in love with you that nothing could change that. You could tell me to fuck off, and I would, but nothing can change the way this stupid thing in my chest beats for you.”
“What if it’s just really good sex?” she asked. “I mean, we have a lot of fun, but?—”
I tried not to laugh, I really did, but I couldn’t help it. “Trust me, killer… it’s more than just sex. It’s the way you make me feel like I’m worth something. You see me in a way no one else fucking has, you know that? I’m all in.”
“You’re all in?” She repeated the words like she was trying them on for size.
“Mmhm,” I said, nodding. I let my hands run over her thighs. “Until you tell me to go away.”
Her breathing hitched as my fingers inched their way up her body. “What if that never happens? I mean, what then?”
“Then I guess we’ll have to figure something out. My cabin’s gonna get cramped by the time you move in all your shit, and?— ”
“I don’t have that much!” she said, swatting my arm.
“You’ve got more than I do. That’s for damn sure. And we’ll have to make some compromises on the decorating shit, because I dunno how I feel about letting you move in an orange couch and disco balls.”
Lennox stuck her bottom lip out in a pout. “What if I get on my knees and beg?”
“You know… On second thought, maybe I could use some color after all,” I said, leaning in for a kiss.
Lennox met me halfway, keeping her arms locked tight.
Her hips tilted, seeking friction, and I groaned as I pulled away and dropped my head against hers.
“We don’t have time for you to be grinding that hot little pussy against me. ”
“Please, baby…” she whined. “We can make it quick.”
“It’s never quick with you,” I said. “You make me crazy, and then I can’t stop. I can’t get enough.”
She paused, looking around the room, eyes lighting up when she landed on something in the corner. I followed her line of sight, interest sparking when I realized what it was.
My rope was hanging on a hook by the door, looking mighty tempting. I turned back toward Lennox with my eyebrow raised. “That doesn’t seem like it’d be quick.”
“It’ll keep my hands busy so I’m not distracting you…”
She had a point. And maybe it’d give me some ideas for later because I knew I wouldn’t ever get the sight of her bound out of my mind once I’d seen it.
“I have a better idea for today,” I said, reaching forward and grabbing a ball of baling twine from the top drawer of my desk.
“Give me your hands,” I said, making quick work of a handcuff knot.
She slipped her wrists inside, and I pulled on them. “Good?” I asked.
“Great,” she breathed, testing the binding.
My fingers flew to the button of her jeans, pulling them down until she was bared to me. I wanted to savor her, to take my time, but that wasn’t a luxury we had right now. “Bend over the desk, killer. And keep those hands where I can see them.”
Lennox did as she was told, just like I knew she would. The sight of her ass and bound wrists made my cock fucking ache. She was better than any drug. I was going to combust if I didn’t get inside her soon.
“So fucking pretty,” I said, undoing my jeans and pulling my dick out. She was already dripping. “And all mine.”
In one quick motion, I was inside of her, stilling only for a moment before my hips picked up the pace.
We were fucking like it was our last time, even though it felt like it was our first. Maybe it was in a way.
It was the first time we’d genuinely acknowledged this thing between us, admitted that it was something life-changing.
“Yours,” she breathed, sliding flat on the desk. Her arms were bound in front of her, grabbing at the air, searching for purchase, and being denied by design.
Lennox’s ass bounced with each thrust. There was nothing soft or gentle about what we were doing. We didn’t have time for that. It wouldn’t take long for someone to come looking for us, but right now, I didn’t fucking care. Not when this perfect woman was all mine and writhing beneath me.
I reached around for her clit, stroking it hard and fast how I knew she liked it. “Are you gonna come on my desk like a good little slut?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut.
“I can feel you squeezing me. Goddamn, that pussy loves my cock, doesn’t she?” I gritted out, upping my speed.
The sounds coming from us were lewd. A mixture of low moans and slapping skin filled the small space, keeping the tempo until I knew we were both reaching our peak. “That’s it. Come for me, sweetheart.”
Lennox was squirming beneath me, begging for more. She cried out as I applied more pressure, her cunt strangling me as she barreled toward release. “Bishop!”
Her orgasm hit me like a freight train, sending me over the edge with her. My hips stuttered, the movement faltering as we fought to catch our breath.
“Shit, sweetheart. I think you really are trying to kill me,” I said, looking down at where we were still joined.
When she laughed, she squeezed me tighter, and I groaned.
It was too damn sensitive. “Fuck,” I cursed, slowly pulling out and watching my cum slip free.
I reached down, gathering it on my fingers before slowly pushing it back where it belonged.
“You know I’m going to go to the bathroom to clean up, right?” she asked, holding her hands out for me to remove the rope.
I undid it quickly, rubbing her wrists to make sure her circulation wasn’t cut off. I hadn’t drawn the rope tight on purpose, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t have gotten twisted at some point.
“If it was up to me, I’d make you leave it there all day, making a mess in your panties until I was the one who cleaned it away tonight.”
Lennox righted her clothes and combed through the strands of her hair framing her face. “As hot as that sounds,” she began, pushing to her toes to give me a chaste kiss, “that’s a surefire way to end up with UTI. I’ll be quick, okay?”
“Whatever you say.” I swatted her ass on the way out, loving the way her cheeks flushed as she ducked into the bathroom between the offices.
I cleaned up while I waited, picking up the papers that’d been strewn across the floor during our frenzied fucking. It was an organized chaos, and there wasn’t much of a method to my madness.
When Lennox stepped out, she motioned toward the door. “ All yours. I’m gonna head back, though, so it’s not too obvious what we’ve been doing.”
I grabbed her bicep before she could go, pulling her in for a kiss. “That’s fine right now, but I’m done hiding, sweetheart. You deserve a loud love. Besides,” I said, leaning down with a smirk. “It’s getting too damn hard to keep my hands off you.”
She smacked my chest and laughed. “Behave. You’ll get your hands on me tonight.”
I watched her leave the barn, focused on the sassy swing of her hips and the bounce in her step. It was like a night and day difference from the girl who’d walked into this barn with a heavy weight on her shoulders.
Once she was out of sight, I stepped into the bathroom and washed my hands.
I already couldn’t wait to get this day over with.
It was going to be hard not walking around with a hard-on when all I could think about was how good her body would look bound by my rope and the sounds she’d make when I’d take my time drawing out every ounce of pleasure.
I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands and tossed it into the can at my feet, but it bounced off the edge.
As I bent down to throw it away, I noticed something sticking out of the trash.
I knew what it was. I wasn’t stupid. And yet, I still couldn’t stop myself from reaching forward, grabbing the end, and pulling it free.
My heart dropped as I stared at the two pink lines on the window.
Pregnant.
I thought back to each time Lennox and I had sex.
We’d never used protection. She had an IUD, so I assumed we were protected, but what the fuck did I know?
A quick Google search told me they were more than ninety-nine percent effective.
That seemed great at first, but what about the less than one percent?
Was I going to be a father ?
Lennox couldn’t have taken it just now. There was no way. She’d been too quick. So, when did she have the time? Unless…
She’d been crying when you walked in, you idiot. Probably because she was stuck with you and thought you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.
Surely, I’d put her worries to rest. Kid or not, I was all in with Lennox. There wasn’t a single thing that could tear us apart. If she was pregnant, I’d be the best damn dad any kid had ever seen.
Even though my childhood had been shit, Lennox’s was not. I’d learned a lot from Doug over the years about what it was to be a man, a friend, and a partner, but I had a feeling that learning to be a father was going to be the most gratifying lesson he’d teach me.
I stared down at the test in my hands before stuffing it in my pocket.
I didn’t want to throw it out. People kept them for announcements and shit, right?
I vaguely remembered watching a movie one time where they did.
Lennox could take another one if she wanted to, but I liked the idea of using this one, especially if it was the one she used to find out.
There were so many things racing through my mind that I barely heard Lincoln shouting my name. “Bishop! Are you taking a shit in there? Let’s go, man!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I called back, finding him waiting by the sliding doors.
“Everything good?” he asked, falling into step beside me as I stormed past him. “Lennox sure looked like she was in good spirits when she re-joined the group.”
I gave him a smile. “Yeah, I think everything’s gonna be great.”
And for the first time in my life, I felt like it was true. I was well on the way to making all my dreams come true, but first, there was something I needed to do.