Chapter 30
MOLLY
“You fought that storm,” Wolf says into my ear as I pour my coffee this morning.
From behind, he wraps his strong arms around my body as he brings his face close to mine.
“You didn’t need to turn on any lights or the TV, and you didn’t cower under the covers.
Instead, you made that storm -or rather, me your bitch. ”
I can’t help the full-on belly laughter that bursts from my lips. It takes everything in me to set my mug and the carafe down on the counter as my body shakes with it.
“Seriously though. I’m proud of you,” he proclaims tenderly before placing a kiss on my cheek and a slap to my ass. “Go kick ass today my little sex demon.”
I still have a grin on my lips as I pull into the car park at the Holler.
I’ve only ventured here a couple times, but today, my coworkers wouldn’t stop talking about the chicken wings, keeping me from being able to think of little else.
I figured I’d order some to go and take them home to share with Wolf.
More storms are forecasted, and though the air is dense, promising a little rain, I haven’t seen any sign of another thunderstorm.
After strolling into the dim but relaxing ambience, I head to the bar. The sheriff is there, perched on a stool and enjoying a French dip and fries. And Lauren’s there too, drink in hand.
The bartender is Vanessa, a girl my age with black curly hair and dark features. I’ve only met her a time or two, but I like her. She happily comes over to take my chicken wing order, and I end up ordering a beer while I wait.
With each sip of hoppy amber liquid, I relax more. That is, until a burst of static emits from the sheriff’s radio at his shoulder, almost making me jump. The poor guy rolls his eyes, quickly chewing his food before simultaneously wiping his mouth with his napkin and reaching for his radio.
Vanessa’s eyebrows go up, looking at him as she works the towel around the pint glass.
“My deputy. Still green behind the ears,” he explains before answering with, “This better be good. I’m at lunch.”
“I’ve got an elk that’s wandered into the McClendon livestock pasture, and no one can get him out,” the deputy says over the radio.
“I’ll bet your lunch it’s Heath.” Vanessa’s eyes dazzle with soft mischief as she gives him a sneaky smile.
“No need,” he glares with a half smirk at Vanessa.
Lauren leans in. “Who’s Heath?”
I shake my head and shrug as Vanessa fills us in. “The one elk around here who doesn’t seem to know he’s an elk. He has an affinity for hanging out with cows.”
Lauren giggles and says, “Oh, I love it here,” then shakes her head with a satisfied smile before sipping her drink.
“Hitchcock, how many times do I have to tell you to call the game warden? Molly, you’re husband on duty?” Sheriff asks me, releasing the button on his radio.
The little light inside me flickers bright at the word husband, and I nod proudly, folding my arms on the bar, and answer, “Yeah.” But a cold wind threatens to snuff that light out when I see Vanessa shaking her head, a solemn expression marring her features.
“Not Wolf,” she says. “You’ll have to call one of the others.”
My body goes rigid as a dark feeling starts to bloom in my chest. How the hell does she know my husband isn’t available?
Sheriff nods and rambles further instruction into his radio as Vanessa wanders down to the end of the bar.
I slide off my stool, my legs shaking and threatening to give out with each step as I concentrate on getting to the other end of the bar and in front of Vanessa.
When I reach her, I try to suppress the cold nausea churning in my stomach.
“Excuse me, Vanessa?” I ask, cringing at the wobble in my own voice.
She looks up from the cutting board with brows raised and a faint smile.
I can’t decide if I want that to enrage me or soothe me. “What did you mean when you said they couldn’t send Wolf for the elk?” I finish my question with a weak exhale. My arms feel tight, and anxiety clenches at my stomach.
Vanessa grabs a small white tub and a handful of limes from under the bar top. “Oh… the McClendon farm is toward the end of Skyview.” Her voice is light and calm with just a hint of something else laced with it. Sympathy maybe?
My muscles partially relax—so this is about location and not Wolf’s route or timetable… “Right…” I voice weakly out loud as I search my brain.
Without missing a beat, Vanessa starts expertly carving out perfect wedges of lime. “Everything okay?” she asks, her face showing mild concern as she drops a handful of green half-moons into the white tub.
“Um, yeah…” I breathe and rub at my forehead. “Just trying to place what that means.”
“Well,” she murmurs softly and pauses her movements. “His parents, remember? Skyview is where Mr. and Mrs. Owens had their accident. Wolf’s never been able to go down that road since.”
Several knots of tension start to loosen and release when she puts it together for me…his wife.
Vanessa seems to scan my face with concern. “You knew that, right? Surely he told you?”
I’ve gone from being completely on edge to eminently mortified as I absently nod, processing a zephyr of emotions swirling around me.
“Yeah,” I answer, trying to see through them all to produce an adequate response.
“Yeah, I just forgot that it was Skyview,” I explain, knowing how weak and pathetic I sound. I strain to offer up a decent smile.
“Are you okay?” Her eyes are soft as she tilts her head slightly.
“Oh, yeah.” I shake my head slightly then try to correct my mannerisms, sure they’re coming off like I’m in a trance. “Yeah, just remembered something I forgot to do at the clinic,” I mumble, choosing the first words that come to me as I turn away.
I need to get out of here and to a safe place where I can process. And I need to talk to Wolf. Or maybe that should wait. I don’t know…
Chicken wings completely forgotten, I drive home with my elbow on the window and my head resting on my hand, willing myself to maintain a state of calm.
With every mile that passes, I’m certain I need time alone; I cannot address this with Wolf just yet.
Any hopes of beating him home are dashed, however, when I roll up the bumpy drive to find his truck parked in front.
After pulling in beside him, I sit for a moment in silence, save for the ticks and pings of the cooling engine.
Maybe I can pass through with minimal interaction.
Or maybe even walk around the side of the house and grab my fishing gear from the shed.
Throwing a line in the water and sitting in silence sounds like just what I need right now.
The soles of my boots crunch lightly on the gravel then go silent as I step on the grass and walk around to the barn.
The back slider is open, and the burble of a Crushers game comes from the living room TV.
A modicum of peace surfaces at the idea that Wolf is inside doing his own unwinding and hopefully doesn’t notice I’m home.
Squatting down, I take a quick inventory of my tackle box.
I’m out of worms, so the few crickets I have will have to do.
I snap the lid shut just in time to hear the screen open behind me.
I turn, ready to exchange minimal words with my husband, hoping he’ll keep it short as usual so I can venture off to the river.
“What’s the matter?” He struts right toward the steps, setting his beer bottle down on the ledge.
No such luck. “What do you mean?” I turn fully as he tromps down the few steps. I feign being oblivious, but really, I’m dumbfounded at his very sudden astuteness.
“You never come home without at least coming in and saying hi to me.” He nods at my tackle box. “What’s going on?”
“Um.” I give an uncomfortable shrug. “It was kind of a high-stress day, so I was just going to decompress by the river.”
“What happened?”
I push my lips together and look anywhere but right at him. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit.” He strolls a few steps closer and brings a rough palm up to cup the side of my cheek.
Dammit, his tender touch is not what I need right now.
I could so easily just lean right into it and drop everything else.
“Baby, look me and tell me what’s wrong,” he insists, ducking his head and trying to get our eyes to meet.
On reflex, I duck away. “No.”
“Molly,” the firmness in his voice has moved up a level, and a hint of hurt flashes across his eyes at the rejection. “I can tell something happened. You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Right, because you always tell me what’s wrong.” I throw the words back at him, my voice so low even I struggle to hear it. With my hopes of avoidance obliterated, I feel pushed past my brink.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means, I just felt like a damn fool at the Holler when your old friend Vanessa had to tell me about Skyview Road.” My response rips the Band-aid off, and moisture gathers in my eyes.
Wolf’s shoulders go rigid and his head tilts back slightly. He licks his lips, looking off to the side. With his ball cap absent, his hands settle on his hips, his posture defensive.
I press on. “Look, I’ve been patient with you, letting you reveal what you want when you want.
I’ve made no secret of wanting to know you, but I haven’t pushed you.
So I’m asking you right now to let me have a little while to calm myself down so we can have this conversation when I’m clearheaded without big feelings getting in the way.
Let me just say this though: the fact that someone down at the bar knows something so intimate about you and I don’t, that feels…
” I can’t find the words. “It makes me feel …” My voice is thick with the tears I’m trying to hold back and trails off as I look away.
Every sentiment that passes through my mind sounds so pathetic.
Insignificant… left out… moronic… na?ve…
Wolf blows out a breath, drops his hands, and moves forward a few steps.
“How does she know?” I mean it as a demand, but the question comes out so pathetic. “How does she know and I don’t?”
Another sharp exhale comes from his lips as he looks away. “Molly, come on… Just?—”
“I’m your wife, Wolf,” I remind him feebly as one drop of liquid emotion defies me and falls down my cheek.
“Yeah, but we didn’t?—”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” I hold up my hand. “I won’t be able to handle what that will do to me.” This time I sniffle and take a step back.
“Molly, please, you need to slow down. I’m trying to catch up with what’s happening here.”
I puff out toxic breath. “You can do that while I’m gone. Right now I need time to myself or I’ll explode.”
Wolf’s eyes widen. “So let me have it then! What’s going through your mind?”
“Fine! Wolf, why in the hell did you marry me?” I demand, hating the taste of the hasty words rushing from my mouth.
“Molly, what the fuck are you talking about, you know why!”
“The land.” My recollection comes out throaty as I nod weakly.
He scratches his head, confusion evident in his slack jaw as he drops his hand. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“Of course not.” I sigh, dropping my hands at my side. “I just should have kept that at the forefront of my mind instead of getting caught up in what I thought was happening between us.”
“Molly, what do you mean?” He takes another step closer, and I take two back. “I’m honestly confused, things have been?—”
“Been what? Like you expected? Not like you expected? Because I don’t know what to expect, and that’s part of the problem!
Yes, we got married, but then we started getting closer, and it started messing with my mind.
I started to believe our marriage was more than just a way to get back the land, but I get now—it’s all just physical.
Just an added bonus for being trapped in this contract together. ”
I know not everything I’m saying is rational. Most of it is just emotion. My heart is being honest and is running away with it faster than my brain can catch up.
“Molly…” He’s speaking from between clenched teeth now. “That is not true.”
“Then tell me why you married me, Wolf. I know you didn’t want Riley to win any of this land, and I know you wanted to help me, but you didn’t have to so why did you? And why shouldn’t I believe this is just physical and convenient when you won’t give me any other part of you?”
His hands go to his head, fingers threading through his brown locks. “What do you even want?”
“To know you, Wolf! I want to know my husband. Is that such a bad thing?”
“You do know me,” he counters, his fingers gripping at the strands of his hair now.
“I know what it’s like to live with you and have sex with you, but I don’t actually know you. I want you to tell me things!”
He releases his hair. “I said to give me time, Molly,” he says on a taxed breath.
“To tell me things about yourself? Seriously, listen to you! And I’ve given you time! Meanwhile, you get to know all about me having a traumatic first few years on this earth before being orphaned and left with an abominable phobia and hardly any answers!”
A few seconds tick past with his jaw clenching before he looks up from the ground and speaks. “I just – look, you’re backing me into a corner here!” He says, his cheeks flushed, his hands curled at his sides, and his gaze trained on the grass.
It’s time to let up. Hell, this is what I wanted to avoid in the first place.
“Please, Wolf, please. Just leave me alone.” I quickly turn without giving him time to protest. My strides toward the trail head are hurried, and my inner thoughts are frantic, bargaining with the universe to not let him follow me.
It’s not until I’ve turned past the second twist in the path with plenty of trees between us that I’m satisfied that he hasn’t.