Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
The attendant at the buyer's station hands me today’s slip, and I’m relieved to see the price has held steady from last week. With a slightly above-average haul today, this return is a welcome sight.
“Thanks,” I say, shoving the slip in my pocket. He gives me a nod and moves on to the next in line.
I make my way back to the boat, where my crew is loading the last of our bait and ice.
“All set, Captain?” Mitch asks, tossing the last bucket to Sarah, who stacks it with the rest of them.
“Yup.” I hop into the boat and whistle across the wharf to Glen where he’s chatting with another crew. He shoots me a look and flips me off, but I just chuckle. He hates being whistled at, but if he doesn’t want to be treated like a dog, he should stop wandering off like one.
He grumbles as he jumps into the boat. “Could have just said my name.”
I shrug, starting up the engine. “Could have just stayed with the boat.”
Mitch laughs and pats his leg. “Here, puppy.”
“Fuck off.” Glen takes a seat on the bench, shaking his head. “I’m too old to be working with you shits.”
“Stop sookin’,” Sarah says with a chuckle as I pull away from the wharf.
Their continued bickering fades into the background as I drive us back to the marina, and my anticipation grows. Because Liam gets home today. I glance at my watch as we near the marina, a bit surprised that we managed to make it back earlier than usual since it’s only 2:00PM. But that surprise quickly shifts to excitement, knowing his flight landed at 1:00PM. And now I have to roll my eyes at myself for feeling like this just because he's back in Nova Scotia.
I guide the boat into our spot at the wharf, cutting the engine as the crew hops out to tie us off. Everyone quickly falls into their usual routine to clean up and get the boat ready for tomorrow, and I toss some broken traps onto the wharf to add to my growing pile at home. Lobsters thrive in rocky areas, and luckily for us, our traps are set on a large rocky ledge which leads to high catch rates. Unfortunately, those same rocks take a toll on the traps.
As the crew works on the boat, I start fixing what I can with the tools I have here, and stack the rest to take home. But I keep glancing at my watch, as my mind drifts to a pair of blue eyes.
“Got somewhere to be?” Sarah’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I shake my head, ripping out a torn net from one of the traps. “No.”
Mitch pauses mid-hose and looks up at me from the boat deck. “What job do you have this afternoon?”
A mental list of tasks flashes through my mind as I realize I didn’t schedule anything for today. There are a few loose ends I could tie up and some other jobs I could start, but none of it is urgent. Looking down at the pile of traps needing attention, I realize that’s probably my plan for the day.
“Just heading to the workshop, I guess,” I say, tossing the last trap onto the platform to haul to my truck.
“You guess?” Glen laughs. “You don’t have the entire rest of your day booked? Who are you?”
Mitch laughs and starts hosing the deck again. “Give him an hour. He’ll end up building a patio somewhere or something.”
I roll my eyes at them and Sarah chuckles, patting my shoulder.
“You go, I’ll whip these two into shape,” she says with a smile.
“Thanks.” I shake my head at Glen and Mitch as they start taking bets for what I’ll end up doing this afternoon.
I manage to slip out of the marina before Sheila can corner me and talk my ear off, as she often does. Luckily, she's busy chatting with another crew while I haul the lobster traps to my truck, avoiding any delay. So I quickly load them into the back, hop in, and head towards home. As I pass the store, I wave to my grandfather and the old man crew on the front porch, opting not to stop in today. I’m too eager to get home.
My heart leaps as I pull into my driveway and see Liam’s truck parked by the house. I park next to it and take a deep breath as I get out, letting the excitement roll through me for a moment. But it only grows as I push the door open and step inside the house, hearing a faint rustling from the kitchen. I peer around the corner as I kick my boots off and shrug out of my jacket, smiling as I see him at the kitchen counter, illuminated by sunlight streaming in through the window.
“Hey,” I say, entering the kitchen.
He turns to look at me, and the smile on his lips sends a rush of warmth through me.
“Hey.” He glances at the clock on the microwave. “I didn’t think you’d be home so early.”
“Yeah.” I rub the back of my neck, also glancing at the time. It’s 3:00PM, which might be the earliest I’ve been home since lobster season started in November. “I have some work to do in the workshop today.”
Miss Bobber meows at my feet as she walks back and forth between me and Liam, looking up at us like she is expecting all the attention.
Liam nods, his eyes briefly roaming over my face before he quickly drops his gaze to Miss Bobber. “She got bigger.”
I chuckle as he bends down to pick her up, and she purrs as she rubs her face against his nose.
“She did,” I say quietly, watching them.
We’re both silent for a moment as Miss Bobber’s purrs fill the space between us, and a quiet comfort settles inside me. One that I’ve been missing for three weeks.
“Want a coffee?” I ask, heading for the coffee maker.
“I just made one,” Liam says, setting Miss Bobber down and taking a seat at the kitchen island before a fresh cup of coffee.
I glance over my shoulder at him while I get my own started, and take in how tired he looks as he runs a hand through his hair. “How was your flight?”
“It was ok,” he says, looking out the glass patio door to the water. “Long.”
I nod, leaning against the counter as my coffee brews. I can’t help but watch him as he gazes out the patio door, the sunlight casting a soft glow on his dark, almost black hair, with his blue eyes sparkling like crystals in the light. But as my mind wanders to what I did when I was imagining those eyes on me, I quickly avert my gaze and turn back to the coffee maker.
“Um, it’s a nice day out…” I say as I take my coffee mug and stand awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. But when he looks at me, I give him a soft smile. “I might actually take your advice and slow down for a minute.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Really…”
I laugh. “Yeah.” Then I tilt my head towards the patio door. “Coffee outside?”
The smile spreads over his face and he nods. “Yeah.”
As we head out onto the patio, and down the steps to the Adirondack chairs, anxiety mixes with the excitement I’ve been feeling. I’ve been looking forward to him coming home, especially after how well we seemed to connect while he was away. But during this time, I’ve also come to realize just how into him I am. And now that he’s here… I’m not sure I know how to manage these feelings, which are quickly overwhelming me.
We take a seat on the chairs overlooking the calm water, and I take a moment to feel the warm sunshine on my skin. With just a couple days left in April, the spring air feels crisp and fresh. I take a subtle deep breath in to calm my nerves and cast a sideways glance at Liam.
“So, should I make some ping-pong paddles?”
His eyes widen as he turns his head towards me. “Do not . For fuck’s sake, no, please.”
I laugh and take a sip of my coffee with a slight shrug of one shoulder. “You’ll miss it eventually.”
“I guarantee I won’t.” He smirks, letting out a soft laugh. “Three weeks is hardly enough of a break from it.”
I chuckle and steal another glance at him as he takes a sip of his coffee. He seems more at ease compared to when he first came here, though I’m unsure if that's because he’s been away working for so long or because we have come to know each other better. The familiar heaviness still lingers, but overall, it feels like I’m seeing more of him now than I did before he left.
“Three weeks doesn’t even seem like enough of a break for all the work you do on the rig,” I say. “You must be exhausted.”
He nods, looking out over the water. “Yeah. The work itself isn’t so bad. I’m not a good sleeper anyway.” He shifts a bit uncomfortably in his seat and pauses for a moment. “But I missed this. The quiet. Rig life is loud and busy.”
I nod. “I can imagine,” I say quietly, glancing around at the peaceful, secluded home I built for myself, happy I can share this with him.
So that’s what we do. We both sit in silence as we drink our coffee and listen to the seagulls and the gentle lapping of the ocean against the shore. I don’t remember the last time I took a moment like this for myself in the middle of the day… and I’m surprised at how much I like it.
Liam sets his mug down and pushes his sleeves up, the warm sun coaxing him to roll them higher. As he does, my eyes land on the tattoos that cover his right hand, fingers, and forearm. It’s completely covered in ink, but one in particular catches my eye. It looks fresher than the rest of them, and I recognize it as the Triquetra — a Celtic knot with interwoven lines and endless loops, symbolizing the eternal bond between friends.
I divert my eyes as Liam catches me looking at it, and I shift my gaze out over the water. But before I can scold myself for checking out his ink, Liam surprises me.
“I got it for a friend,” he says.
I turn my head to look at him, but he keeps his eyes fixed on the ocean.
“He died.”
My heart sinks as I take in the emotion written all over his face.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say quietly.
His text to me yesterday flashes in my mind, as I remember what he said about knowing how quickly everything can change, and that he ended up here because he couldn’t make himself go home.
Liam just nods stiffly, still looking out over the water. His fingers fidget in his lap as his jaw tics, and it looks like he’s just barely holding it together.
I know that feeling.
“I thought my life was over when my dad died,” I say, dropping my eyes to his hands as he picks at his fingers.
He turns to look at me, his eyes full of sadness.
“I learned everything from him,” I continue, releasing a breath. “He was my best friend. We did everything together, and I wanted to be just like him. I know I’ve said it felt like I didn’t have a choice, and this was all decided for me, but… I also wanted to walk in his shoes. Because to me, he was everything.” I pause for a moment as emotion swells and catches in my throat. “And then all of a sudden, he’s gone, and I’m doing it all without him. It’s a heavy weight, and a lot to manage.”
Liam nods, his eyes flicking between mine. “How did you do it?”
I release a sigh and shake my head slightly. “I don’t know if I’m the right person to ask.”
He nods again and brings his gaze back to the water.
But I keep mine on him.
“Time does help,” I say softly. “And… I’m here if you want to talk. I think my biggest mistake was keeping it all in.” I pause as Liam looks at me, and warmth rushes through me once again. “Keeping everything in.”
His brow furrows a bit as he keeps his eyes locked on mine, before he gives me a soft nod. “Same.”
A soft breeze rustles his hair as we sit here, side by side. And as we look into each other’s eyes, another layer of understanding passes between us.
And I want nothing more than to reach out and touch him. To comfort him and take away whatever pain he’s feeling.
But then his eyes soften as they gently roam my face. “Thank you.”
All I do is nod, because more words feel unnecessary. In this moment, the quiet between us says it all, and the connection we share speaks louder than anything we could put into words.