Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
Miss Bobber pounces on her toy mouse, her little paws swatting it towards me. I bat it back, chuckling as she scrambles across the kitchen floor in hot pursuit. The smell of coffee fills the kitchen as I stand and look out the window, watching the gentle waves lap against the shore.
I managed to sleep in for the first time in what feels like forever. After yesterday’s long flight and the last three weeks of intense, non-stop work, I needed it. Though I woke when Theo came down the stairs this morning, the comforting sounds of him getting ready for work eased me back into a deep sleep. I can’t remember the last time I slept that long, or that well.
As I gaze out the window at the wide expanse of the ocean, my thoughts remain on Theo. I keep thinking of yesterday, and the conversation we had where we each shared something so deeply personal. Telling him about Nick’s death almost broke me right there in front of him… but as usual, he understands. And like always, he didn’t push for more. He remained a calm, comforting presence, and shared more of himself as well.
Even now, as the familiar ache of grief begins to swell again, it feels different. The need for pain isn’t as demanding, and the thoughts urging me to punish myself aren’t as loud. It still hurts, and I still want to hurt, but it almost feels… manageable.
And I have no idea how to feel about that.
But what I do know is that I don’t feel so alone in those feelings of sadness and grief anymore.
And with every moment spent with Theo, I’m realizing just how strong the pull towards him really is. Yesterday, every time I looked at him, I couldn’t stop myself from tracing every detail of his face — the soft spattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks, the way his eyes soften when he listens, and the quiet intensity behind his gaze. I didn’t realize how much I missed simply looking at him. While there’s an emotional connection and understanding forming between us, I’m also realizing that I’m physically attracted to him. The feelings are deeper than I expected, and I don’t know what to do with them.
“Fuck,” I mutter as I rub a hand over my face, then grab my coffee from the machine. Seriously, what the fuck? At twenty-nine, I’m suddenly into guys? And a straight one at that, since he’s apparently got a thing going on with the waitress at the pub. I guess I need to fuck up everyone’s life, don’t I…
As I sip my coffee, trying to clear my mind, I watch Miss Bobber bat her toy around the kitchen, her playfulness a welcome distraction. But still, a restlessness stirs inside me. My eyes wander around the room, searching for something to ground this unsettled energy, until they land on the nearly empty container of coffee pods on the counter.
And I think of Theo again.
“Argh.” I run my fingers through my hair and head into my bedroom to change. Fuck it. If I’m going to be thinking about him, I might as well do it on a walk to get out of the house and pick up more coffee pods.
He’ll need them for tomorrow.
Miss Bobber watches me curiously as I slip my shoes and a hoodie on, and I furrow my brow at her.
“Don’t judge me,” I mumble, then bend down to pat her. “I’ll be back soon.”
It’s a nice day, and after spending weeks out on the rig, it feels good to get outside and take my time as I walk along the main street. The sun feels warm on my face, and I take a deep breath of the fresh spring air as I watch the seagulls floating on the sparkling ocean. The town is quiet mid-afternoon, and I don’t run into anyone until I near the general store.
“Well, well, welcome back!”
I look up at the front porch of the store to see Jimmy with a bright smile, sitting with a few other men.
“Hey,” I reply, managing a small smile as I climb the steps. It’s the MacKinnon’s store, so I’m not sure why I’m feeling anxious or surprised to see Theo’s grandfather. Obviously his family are going to be here.
“How was the rig?” Jimmy asks, gesturing to a vacant seat beside him.
I hesitate for a moment before I sit and give him and the other men another awkward smile. “It was good. Not that different from the oil sands, just… with water.”
The men laugh, and one of them leans forward. “Underwater welding?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“What’s the weather like out there?” the man sitting across from Jimmy asks, setting his empty coffee mug down on the table between them. “Jimmy says you’re in the Gulf of Mexico?”
My eyes snap to Jimmy, and he smiles warmly at me. He told them about me? Why?
“Uh…” I shift in my seat, unable to decipher exactly how I feel about that. “It’s hot, and really humid. And we get a lot of wind.”
“Hey, Liam!” The door to the store opens, and Heather comes out with a big smile and passes me a mug of coffee. “Happy to have you back. Do you take anything in your coffee? I can get you cream, milk, sugar…?”
I shake my head, glancing down at the coffee in my hands. “Um, no, thank you. This is fine,” I say, looking up at her. “Thanks.”
She squeezes my shoulder and smiles, then glances around at the other men. “The rest of you can get your own.”
They all chuckle as she heads back inside, and Jimmy huffs out a laugh. “Enjoy the hospitality while you can, Liam. It doesn’t last long with that one.”
I let out a light laugh and take a sip of my coffee, glancing out at the water as some fishing boats make their way into the marina.
“Theo’s already in,” Jimmy says, watching the water as well. “Pretty early for them.”
My heart flips at the sound of that, remembering how early he was in yesterday too. And even though I enjoyed having him around yesterday, I worry if him coming in early again means the catch wasn’t great, something went wrong, or if they just made good time.
I just nod, keeping my eyes on one of the boats.
“So, Liam,” one of the men says, drawing my attention to him. “What kind of certifications do you need to work offshore?”
The man is watching me intently, like he is genuinely curious, and I can’t help but smile.
“Quite a few,” I say. “I already had all the welding certificates needed to work in oil and gas, and my diving and underwater welding certificate. But I had to do a lot of safety and rope access courses for offshore.”
The man lifts his eyebrows with a nod. “Hard worker.”
I huff out a laugh, looking down at my coffee. “It’s not too bad.”
Then a black truck pulls up in front of the store, and my heart rate quickens.
Theo hops out and jogs up the steps, then stops in surprise when he sees me. “Oh, hey.”
“Hey,” I say, giving him a soft smile as I take in his wild hair and dirty grey hoodie.
“I was just going to grab coffee for home,” he says, stepping closer and nodding a greeting to the men.
I chuckle. “Same.”
He smiles, sitting in the chair across from me. “So, you a part of the old man crew now?”
“Oh, shut your trap,” Jimmy says with a laugh. “You’ll be here someday, and you won’t like that name so much.”
Theo’s smile briefly falters as he shifts in his seat, but his attention is then quickly pulled to one of the other men.
“How was the catch today?” the man asks.
Theo nods, leaning back in his chair. “Nothing to complain about,” he says.
“We got some nasty weather coming in this evening,” Jimmy says. “High wind and heavy rain.”
“Yeah, I know,” Theo says, blowing out a breath and running his hand through his hair. “We got the boat tied in in case it’s bad. Looks like it might go into the morning.” He then checks his watch and sighs again. “Well, I should get up to the Murphy’s and finish their fence.”
Jimmy laughs and shakes his head. “And why would you do something as foolish as that?”
Theo shoots him a look. “Foolish as what? My job?”
“Work on a fence before a rain and wind storm? Let the storm do what it’s going to do and then finish the job in one go.”
My eyes slide to Theo, as he nods thoughtfully. “Yeah… I guess.”
Jimmy smiles, a bit smugly for having told his grandson what to do. “It’s the calm before the storm. Enjoy the nice day and live a little. And stop leaving Liam alone in that house until the sun goes down.”
Theo slides his gaze to me and a small smile tugs at his lips. “I mean, unless you want some private ping-pong practice time?”
A laugh escapes me as I shake my head. “Why, so you can get some private fishing practice in?”
His eyes light up with challenge as he stands and points at me. “Alright, it’s on. Fishing rematch. Let’s go.”
The sound of the water lapping against the boat is soothing as I sit back in my seat, and we quietly wait for the fish to bite. We each caught one mackerel already, and I can’t help but smile at the intensity in Theo’s gaze as he guides his lure through the water, determined to catch more than me this time.
Too bad that won’t be happening.
I glance at the trees around us in the same spot Theo brought us to last time. Even though it’s starting to cloud over as the storm begins to roll in, it’s still so peaceful out here.
“Motherfucker,” Theo mumbles as he jerks the rod back. “Had a bite and lost it.”
I chuckle, casting a sideways glance at him. “Mm hm.”
He rolls his eyes at me, but I see the smile peeking through.
We sit in silence for a bit longer, slowly trolling along the channel while we wait for another bite. But the longer we sit here, that pull I feel towards Theo grows stronger.
“So, what do you want to do with your sunroom?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the water, trying to once again get my mind off my apparent attraction to him.
I hear him blow out a breath. “I’m not sure. I’ve been so focused on the kitchen I haven’t thought much about the rest of the house.”
I just nod, giving the rod a little nudge to keep the lure moving.
“What do you think?” he asks.
I turn my head to look at him as he gazes back at me. “It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s your house.”
His brow furrows as he keeps his eyes locked on mine. “It matters to me. You live there too.”
My heart skips a beat, but I swallow hard and quickly look away. “Yeah, but… I won’t be living there forever. Eventually, you’ll want your own space. Especially if you want to start a family someday.”
Theo falls silent, and I glance back at him. He’s looking down at the boat floor, but when he meets my eyes again, there’s something in his expression I can’t quite figure out.
“I don’t think that will happen,” he says, shifting his gaze out over the water.
I watch him for a moment longer, unsure what that means. There seems to be a shift in him, and I can’t help but worry I’ve said something wrong. But also, it’s true. I won’t be living here, in his house, forever. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact I have feelings for him, but from everything I know about Theo, he’s straight. And while I try to figure out this mess in my head, the last thing I want to do is get in the way of him building the life he wants.
“Why not?” I ask quietly, the words slipping out before I can catch them.
Theo’s gaze flicks towards me, but he quickly looks away as his posture tightens, almost like he’s bracing for something. His fingers fidget, and his jaw clenches. But it’s not frustration or anger that crosses his face… he looks sad.
“I’ll never be able to find what I’m looking for here,” he says, his voice heavy with quiet resignation.
My pulse quickens as a flutter builds in my stomach. A strange mix of curiosity and courage stirs inside me, pulling me closer to the question that’s now burning in my mind.
“What is it you’re looking for?” I ask, once again unable to stop myself.
Theo exhales, his breath slow and deliberate, before he cautiously turns to face me. His brown eyes lock onto mine, and it looks like he’s trying to hold something back. But I hold his gaze, and the tension in his expression gradually fades. His eyes soften, and something between us shifts as an unspoken energy seems to take over.
But just as his lips part, raindrops start to fall.
Theo pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and glances up at the sky. “Should I put the cover up?”
He doesn’t meet my eyes again, almost as if he’s relieved by the interruption, which only fuels my curiosity. What was he about to say? Questions swirl in my mind, and a hopeful feeling flutters in my stomach as I wonder if whatever he’s holding back might be something I’ve been quietly wishing for.
But as the rain starts coming down harder, drumming against the water around us, I shake my head. “We should probably just go back in.”
Theo nods, casting a hesitant glance my way. And I think I see disappointment in his eyes. But I’m not sure if that’s because we didn’t get to finish fishing… or because he didn’t get to say what he wanted to.
And as we put away our fishing rods and Theo brings us back to shore, the unspoken disappointment lingers in the air between us.
By the time we pull up to the dock, the rain is pelting down in thick sheets, and the wind has picked up, whipping across the water to rock the boat beneath us. I hop out onto the dock as Theo tosses me the rope to tie us off and he shuts off the motor. I tie the boat snug against the dock as Theo secures everything on board, and the water grows rougher as the rain completely soaks through our clothes.
When Theo moves to step onto the dock, the boat lurches with a wave, causing him to stumble. I quickly reach out to grab his arm as he works to catch his footing, and I pull him onto the dock. But even when he’s safely standing before me, I don’t let go.
That same quiet energy from earlier hums between us, stronger this time. He stands before me, the wind whipping around us and the rain pounding against the dock as my hand remains on his arm. And all I can feel is the warmth of him under my fingertips, despite the cold.
Our eyes are once again locked, and as I search his, the questions continue to swirl in my mind. I don’t even know what I’m asking… but I’m hoping for an answer.
And the next thing I know, our lips meet.
An electric tingle races up my spine as my heart pounds wildly, my breath catching in my throat the moment his soft, rain-soaked lips meet mine. I don’t even know who moved first, who crossed that final inch between us… but it doesn’t matter. My fingers tighten around his arm as my lips part, and the taste of rain mingles with something unmistakably him. He steps forward, closing the small distance between us, and my heart thumps even faster. And when I feel his tongue against mine, and his rough stubble scraping my skin, a heat rushes through my body that has me feeling confused, yet so good.
Until Theo suddenly pulls back, eyes wide with panic.
Well, fuck.