Chapter 2
2
IVY
“Do you think she’s truly okay with watching Junie? I don’t want to force her, and you know how she can be with bringing men around. What if she invites one over and forgets all about Junie?” I ramble from the front seat of Niko’s truck.
We’re parked in front of Jill’s house, but I haven’t been able to get out yet. Junie’s not happy with me about that. She’s pitching a total fit in her car seat, complete with kicking legs and two sets of curled fingers.
“You know she’s not goin’ to do any of that. Don’t sit and convince yourself otherwise. She’s a good friend to all of us,” Niko says, turning off the truck.
I scowl at him because he’s right, and I’m being a total bitch. “Do you really want to leave Junie?”
“Of course I don’t wanna leave my baby girl. Not for one damn day. That doesn’t mean I’m not willin’ to leave her in carin’, trusted hands so we can have some time together.”
Guilt snarls at me as his words sink in. “I know. I’m just nervous. What if something happens? Or Junie feels like we don’t love her anymore?”
“Thinkin’ like that isn’t goin’ to do you any good. We’re not bad parents for this. It’s only a few days. I guarantee she isn’t even goin’ to realize we’re gone.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, biting my lip to keep it from wobbling.
With a sharp inhale, I shove open the door and step into the cold. Junie has been my top priority for the past five months, and that won’t change just because I’m going away for a few days. As much as I love my baby girl to death, I miss my man. This is our first chance to be alone together since she was born.
There’s so much I want to talk to him about that I haven’t been able to and things that I’m equally terrified to bring up.
Our lack of sex life is up near the top of that second list.
Jill has become increasingly important to all of us. She was there through every step of my pregnancy and was the first person I let see Junie once we got her home from the hospital. We’re best friends, and I know better than to doubt her.
Junie’s screams fill the street when I start unbuckling her from her seat. When I bundle her in my arm, she realizes she’s breaking free and switches up faster than I can process.
“Well, you might be worse than me, baby. Hot and cold at the flip of a hat, huh?” I tease.
“I think you’re on the same playin’ field,” Niko says, joining me with the diaper bag on his shoulder and a blanket in his hand.
He covers Junie with the pink knit blanket I made her before she was born and slips her toque on her head. My heart clenches when he drops his head to give her an Eskimo kiss and grins.
Add the thick jacket, dad cap that he refuses to wear backward, the diaper bag slung over his shoulder, and I’m soaked in a flash. My skin tightens over my bones, desire burning my blood as I grip onto our daughter and will myself to think of anything but how hot her dad is.
“Let’s go see Auntie Jill, baby,” I rush, all but sprinting up the sidewalk.
Only when I’m far enough away from Niko to feel the full effects of the frigid air do I calm down. It doesn’t matter that we’ve been together for over a year or that things are so different now than they were. That man can turn me inside out with nothing more than a rude grunt or a look at his scruffy jaw.
It’s criminal.
“Finally! I thought I was going to have to come out there and drag you inside,” Jill rambles from her open door.
I roll my eyes and carefully maneuver up the shovelled front steps. “I wanted to make sure we had everything.”
“Liar. You were second-guessing leaving her behind. Don’t try and play me, Ivy Bell. I know you too well by now.”
“She’s just so small and snuggly! Look at her. She doesn’t want her mommy to leave,” I mutter, rubbing my cheek against her toque.
“Yeah, well, Mommy needs some special time with Daddy, so she’ll just have to make do with her favourite aunt.”
Jill makes room for me to enter the warm house before Niko comes up behind me and grunts a hello. His closeness sends a shiver down my spine that I ignore.
“You’re her only aunt,” I say while plucking Junie’s hat off. Her blonde hair sticks up with static.
Jill hums, rubbing a knuckle along my daughter’s plump cheek. “Speaking of aunt. How’s her only uncle doing?”
Niko lets the diaper bag fall to the ground harder than he probably should have. The entryway is too small for all of us to be lingering. It seems to shrink further at the mention of Travis.
“He’s the same he was the last time we spoke about him,” I tell her, trying to stomp the sudden awkwardness into the ground.
Jill met Travis, my ex-boyfriend and now . . . stepson , when he surprised us all with a visit at Christmas. It was only a couple of months since we’d seen him last at the hospital the morning after Junie was born.
The scent of turkey wafts through the kitchen when Niko pops open the oven and bastes it with the juices. I stand a few feet away with my back to the kitchen counter, watching him bend over, my eyes fixed on his ass.
My heart skips when he finishes up and cocks a brow at me over his shoulder.
“Pleased with the show, angel?”
“Very. But if you’re feeling generous, you can baste that thing for a few more seconds.”
His laugh is low, huffed. “As much as I’d love that, I’ll burn my face off. You’ll run for the fuckin’ hills then.”
“Oh, you know I love you for more than just your handsome face. Keep the beard and I’ll hang around,” I tease, wetting my lips.
He closes the oven door and turns to face me, his eyes nearly glowing in the bright kitchen lights. My cheeks warm at the wonder that flicks across them while he watches me simply exist in front of him.
“How are you feelin’, Ivy?”
“I’m happy. And hungry, if you wouldn’t mind hurrying the turkey up.”
“Think it’ll listen to my orders?”
“You do have a talent when it comes to getting people to do what you want them to.”
“Everyone but you.”
I push away from the counter and slip into his arms, pressing my cheek against his solid chest. He hums softly, smoothing a hand up and down my back.
“We’d be too boring if I listened to your every order,” I whisper.
“Love you the way you are, angel.”
Junie coos from the living room, and Jill claps, telling her how smart she is. My boss is here, too, but he’s silent. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to take me up on the offer to come for Christmas dinner, but when Jill asked, he accepted.
That guy is a total sucker for my best friend. One day, they’ll stop dancing in circles, and Grayson will put an end to her helpless dating.
“I love you, too, Niko,” I murmur.
The doorbell rings a beat later. Niko stiffens against me before gliding a hand over my head.
“You invite anyone else?”
“No.”
My parents were over last night and drove home this morning. I doubt they decided to come back again and risk another long drive on the snowy highways.
“I’ll get it!” Jill shouts.
“You stay here and finish dinner. We’ve got it.”
“If you need me ? —”
Leaning up on my toes, I press a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Yell for you. I know, you overbearing man.”
“Careful, Ivy. I’ll have to punish you,” he threatens.
I want that so damn bad. It’s been months since we’ve done more than just kiss, and I’ve ruined more underwear than I ever have before from his teasing alone.
My insecurities have formed a mental block, though. It’s my fault we haven’t had sex since before Junie was born. I’m too self-conscious now to even let him in the bathroom with me when I shower or get changed for bed.
I reluctantly peel myself away from Niko and go to join my friend. His eyes burn into my back, and I try to push my emotions as far down as possible before they become too obvious.
“Uh, Ivy?” Jill calls from the front door.
“Yeah?”
Grayson is perched on the edge of the couch, eyes narrowed on the man standing in front of Jill. I stumble a step as I realize who it is, my eyes flaring wide.
“Travis?”
A large hand touches the back of my neck and squeezes lightly. I blink, turning to find Niko staring down at me with a sharp curiosity in his eyes.
“He texted asking about Junie last week,” he says, answering Jill’s question without looking away from me.
“Well, that’s good, at least. It’s progress, right?” Jill asks.
I adjust my hold on Junie and focus on my friend, forcing a smile. In reality, I’m not sure if I would consider Travis asking about his sister as progress. Even before showing up at Christmas, he was more curious about Junie than he ever was about my relationship with Niko.
Travis can be a fucking asshole, but when it came to Junie, he was a bit less like one. He avoided seeing us after he found us in the Frosty Mug yet showed up at the hospital to meet her and, since then, texts Niko consistently to ask how his sister is. It started when I was about four months along and hasn’t stopped since.
“I’ve written some instructions for you,” I say, segueing from Travis as I reach into my jacket pocket and pull the folded paper out. “It’s just her new schedule and the things she’s decided she doesn’t like anymore since last time you watched her.”
Jill takes it with a lifted brow. “I don’t know whether to say thank you or be offended you think I need an entire list of instructions.”
“You can be both. Oh, and there’s a shit ton of milk in the diaper bag. I need to put it away before we leave?—”
“I’ve got it,” Jill huffs, already reaching for the bag on the ground. “Stick it in the freezer?”
“Yeah, please.”
Breastfeeding Junie is something I love being able to do. There was a part of me that didn’t know if it would work after watching so many videos online of horror stories. That wasn’t the case for me. Junie took to it immediately, and we’ve been doing it since. The quiet moments I get with her while she feeds and her huge blue eyes stare up at me are my most precious ones.
It does take a toll on me mentally, though. It’s just worth the struggle.
“You got it. We’ll have a blast together, won’t we, June Bug?” Jill asks in a high-pitched tone. “Mommy needs to say goodbye and hit the road. Daddy, too.”
I tense and grip my daughter a bit tighter in preparation for handing her off. Emotion burns my eyes as I blink rapidly and kiss Junie’s cheeks. She doesn’t share the same issue. The traitor just grins like the sweetheart she is.
“Alright. Be a good girl for Auntie Jill, baby. I’ll call once we get to the cabin,” I murmur, breathing in her scent.
Niko crowds us, taking his turn to kiss and hold our daughter without taking her from me. “We’ll see you in a few days, princess. I love you.”
It feels impossible to release her. Jill attempts to take her, and I only clutch her tighter.
“I’ll take the best care of her, Ivy. I promise,” my best friend swears softly.
Niko curls an arm around my shoulders, offering silent support. It’s exactly what I need. He’s my rock. Now and forever.
With a tight throat, I hand Junie over to Jill. My nose burns as she hugs her tight and beams down at her adorable, squishy little face. There’s more than enough love there between them. I clutch onto that knowledge and reach for Niko, needing to hold someone now that my arms are empty.
“We’ll video call you as soon as you get to the cabin. I promise,” Jill says, dancing in a circle with Junie on her hip. “It’s only three days.”
I nod firmly. “I know. You’ll take care of my girl.”
“And Niko will take care of mine,” she teases.
“Always,” he grunts.
Slowly, we shuffle to the door and linger, eyes glued on a giggling Junie. Some of my fear slips, trust replacing it. Excitement, too.
I know that if Niko is with me, I’ll be okay. He’ll take of me the way he always does. And then we’ll come back and get our daughter.