Chapter 3
3
NIKO
Ivy shakes her leg anxiously in the passenger seat while fiddling with the radio volume. We’ve shuffled through three separate playlists so far, all of which were completely different genres.
The drive to the cabin has been mostly silent, with her rolling her lip between her teeth and checking her phone every two minutes. I haven’t let it bother me. She’s worried about Junie. I know that once we get out of the truck and I can show her around our new home for the next few days, she’ll loosen up.
I’ve planned a bunch of things for us, starting with getting her inside and fed since we haven’t eaten since breakfast.
“Has Jill texted?” I ask.
The truck’s tires crunch over the thick snow but don’t slide. It’s too powdery to feel the ice below yet. The incline we’ve been on for the last hour has shot my nerves regardless.
“No. Not since she put Junie down for a nap.”
“So put your phone down and be with me, Ivy. She’s sleepin’ and won’t be up for a while yet.”
She releases a tight exhale and rests her hand on my knee. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I know how you’re feelin’. She’s our baby.”
“I’m a helicopter mom.”
“She’s too young for you to be a helicopter mom, angel.”
“My parents were like this with me. Overbearing and worried all the time. I didn’t get to go to sleepovers until I was sixteen,” she rambles.
“And look at you. You turned out perfect.”
“Don’t try and flatter me to get me to calm down,” she warns lightly.
I ease down on the brake when we approach our turn. The stop sign is covered in snow, only a sliver of red appearing.
“There are plenty of ways to calm you down, Ivy. Should I choose a different approach?”
A pause. “Like what?”
Gliding my palm along the steering wheel as I turn it to the right, I say, “You’re wound tight.”
“Okay, and? What about it?”
“And I want to help loosen you up. But only if you’re goin’ to stop runnin’ from me when I get too close.”
She falls silent as the wind howls outside the truck, rocking against the body. It’s bright out with the sun free and clear in the blue sky, but fuck me, it’s cold.
“I haven’t been running,” she whispers.
With a glance in her direction, I see her cheeks flaring red before she focuses out the window. “What else do you call it, then?”
“I call it being tired after watching a five-month-old all day long.”
“Alright.”
“Alright?”
“If that’s how you’re feelin’, then I’ll respect that. What you’re doin’ and have done isn’t easy. You’re a great fuckin’ mom, Ivy. I’m grateful for that.”
She groans angrily and yanks her hand off my thigh. “You’re such an ass.”
Surprised as fuck, it takes me a minute to figure out what to say. Ivy’s got her knees pinched together and pointed at the truck door in that obvious I’m mad at you way. My brain glitches.
“What did I say wrong?”
“You’re not supposed to be so goddamn supportive all the time!”
“What? Why not?”
She whips around in her seat, returning her hand to my leg. The fire in her eyes is reassuring after so long without it. It’s been months since she’s let her emotions take hold of her in this way.
“Because it makes it harder not to jump your bones all the time!”
“There’s an easy solution to that problem.”
I make the final turn, and a beat later, the cabin appears at the end of the road. Ivy’s fingers curl into my jeans as she huffs like a dragon.
“You don’t have to say things just to say them. I know I’m different now than I was before,” she says reluctantly.
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play coy, Niko.”
“I’m not. I want to know what you’re talkin’ about so I can prove you wrong.”
“We’re here,” she mutters.
The moment I stop the truck in front of the cabin, she hops out and slams the door shut behind her. I scrape a hand down my beard and turn the truck off.
Clearly, despite my age, I have no fucking clue how to handle a woman. That’s been proven to me time and time again with Ivy. She keeps me on my toes, and I love that about her. The challenges and fun she brings into my life.
Knowing there’s something wrong with her has me out of the truck in a blink, already reaching into the back seat to grab our bags before she can try and take hers.
She meets my gaze across the back seat, the door open as she leans in to grab the bag I’ve already got in my grip.
“I always take your bags,” I say bluntly.
Her eyes soften for a moment. “Fine.”
My woman overpacks every single time we go somewhere. The weight of her bag is alarming, considering the size of it, as I toss it over my shoulder and shut the truck door.
“Here. It’s the bigger key,” I say, tossing her the cabin keys.
She catches them with two hands and scurries ahead, her boots kicking at the powdery snow that’s piled on the sidewalk. I’ll come out later and get it all shovelled. Maybe while she’s taking a long, hot bath.
“How many times have you been here?” she asks, inspecting the key ring.
“Too many to count. It was my grandfather’s.”
Her squeak echoes through the woods around us. “It was? Why haven’t you ever mentioned this to me before?”
“Didn’t think it mattered. I hardly ever went out here before the past few years. Figured I’d introduce you to it face to face.”
“So, this place is kind of like a Shaw family staple, then?”
“I guess so.”
Stopping at the door, she slides the key into the door and jiggles it around when it doesn’t immediately unlock. Same old, same old with this place. Old and in need of a fuck ton of maintenance that I don’t have the patience or time to give it.
Kind of like how I was a year ago, I guess. Only Ivy took pity on me and fixed me up right instead of leaving me to rot.
I grip Ivy’s hand and take over the movements of the key in the lock and help her jiggle it the way I know will work. Once it clicks, she yanks the door open and rushes inside.
“Don’t get your hopes up too much, angel. The place hasn’t been remodelled since it was built in the nineties. Everything’s original,” I explain.
She ignores me and continues her inspection of the place. I leave her be as she tears through the living room, immediately sorting through the piles of books and photos on the shelves. My first stop is the master bedroom. I leave our bags on the bed and inspect the dresser and nightstands for dust, not finding any.
There was a set of cleaners out here two weeks back and an inspector a week before that. I wasn’t about to bring Ivy into a filthy cabin with hidden mould or floorboards one step from collapsing beneath us.
It’s old and withered but safe.
My next stop is the furnace room. Thank fuck it kicks in when I flip its switch. I expected to have to use the fireplace all weekend.
“Is this you? Oh, my god! Junie looks just like you did as a baby!” Ivy shouts.
When I join her in the living room, she’s staring down at the first photo album of at least fifteen that have been collected over the years. The writing along the sides of the page she’s focused on has my name and a date from too long ago.
I curl an arm around her and rest my chin on the top of her head. “I’d bet she looks more like you.”
“Not at all. I had a nose the size of a brick and a tiny chin. Totally messed-up facial proportions. Junie has perfect proportions of everything.”
“Every parent thinks that. I bet if you asked your mom, she’d tell you that you were the cutest baby she’d ever seen.”
“Are you saying that our daughter isn’t really that adorable?” she asks, flipping to another page in the book.
The first photo I see is of me and my dad in the bar. I’m only five years old, according to the date on the corner, but am double-fisting empty bottles of beer while standing on the counter in a snowsuit.
I tuck Ivy’s hair behind her ear. “I’d never lie about our daughter. She’s perfect like her mom.”
“Hmm,” she hums in disbelief.
“You need to tell me what’s goin’ on in that head of yours, angel.”
“I’m just enjoying learning about you.”
“That’s not all.”
“Can’t we just enjoy our time here, Niko? Why do we have to talk about things that are only going to bring down the vibes?”
Gently, I set my hands on her shoulders and turn her to face me. She avoids my eyes. That doesn’t stop me from focusing mine wholly on her while stroking a knuckle along her cheek.
“I’d enjoy my time with you no matter what, Ivy. But we need to talk. I feel you pushin’ me away, and I’ll be honest, that shit cuts me deep.”
Her features tighten, pain streaking through her gaze when she lifts it. “What?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t care that you hardly let me touch you anymore? You’re the woman I love. The moment something ain’t right with you, I know. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Nobody knows you better than I do, and it’s fuckin’ killin’ me to think you’re pullin’ back. If I did somethin’ to hurt you, please tell me so I can fix it,” I plead, desperation thick in the words. There’s no point in hiding it. “I love you, angel. Love you so goddamn much I’m dyin’ inside without the full weight of yours.”
“Niko,” she whispers, pressing her palms to my chest. I shudder beneath her touch. “Don’t think like that. I love you so much.”
“So tell me what’s wrong. Please.”
“I . . . I—” She squeezes her eyes shut, fingers curling. “I’m just emotional. Hormonal, you know? I’m still getting back to normal, and add in breastfeeding . . . I just need some time.”
“Some time for what?” I ask, voice sharper than I intend it to be.
Frustration bleeds into my mind. She’s lying to me. Still.
“I don’t know. To sort myself out, I guess.”
“And you can’t do that without pushin’ me away?”
“Please, Niko. I just want to enjoy our time here together without all this other stuff.”
“You mean my honesty?”
She twists her mouth, head shaking. “No, that’s not . . . shit .”
Her hands lift to cup her breasts before she huffs a sigh of annoyance. The thin fabric of her shirt has already been straining around the heaviness of them, but now, twin wet spots appear, turning it translucent where her nipples are. They’re so engorged that I could suck them into my mouth through her shirt.
I wet my lips before flattening them. With every inhale and exhale, I try to stifle my arousal. It doesn’t work. With my emotions already so strong and exposed, I’m a weak, horny bastard.
“The pump is in the bedroom. I need to shower,” I grunt before rushing away from her.
The ache in my balls is painful as I disappear into the bathroom and close the door behind me. Leaning back against it, I unzip my jeans and pull my cock out, immediately wrapping it in a tight fist.
My hips jerk as I thrust into my hand, hot cum leaking from the tip and onto my fingers. I struggle to catch my breath as I close my eyes and imagine Ivy’s giant tits naked and leaking milk.
White droplets cascading down from her thick nipples over her belly and to where I’m waiting with my mouth open. The taste of her cunt would still be on my tongue when I’d lick every drop of milk before climbing up her body and sucking from the source.
Fuck .
I bang my head back against the door and fuck my fist faster, squeezing tighter and tighter until?—
“Niko?”
Her voice drags sensual nails down my cock to squeeze my balls. They draw up, her grip on them so fucking tight.
“I’m sorry, Niko. You’re right. I’m . . . I’m just struggling with a couple of things. None of them are your fault.”
“Angel,” I croak, damn near crushing my shaft. “Give me . . . give . . . oh, fuuuck . I’m so?—”
I didn’t feel myself moving away from the door. The rush of cold air that hits my back isn’t enough to make me open my eyes as I pump harder and harder.
Then, a warm, wet mouth sucks at the tip of my cock, and I snap my eyes open just in time to watch Ivy take my cum down her throat.
“Fuckin’ angel,” I slur, thrusting deep.
My back bows, hearing popping in my ears as I smash my fist into the wall and grab at the back of her head, forcing her to take me all the way. She swallows around my length and forces more cum to fill her mouth, moaning as I try to blink away the splotches in my vision.
I grit my teeth and release her head, shame spearing my chest as I start to fall back into myself.
Ivy slowly releases me and licks her lips while pushing her hair behind her shoulders. She curls her fingers around my shaft and glides them from the base to tip, forcing another drop of cum to appear before she licks it up.
I shake, my knees weak. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” she murmurs, staring up at me from her position on her knees. “Let’s not have this conversation in here.”
“Alright.”
She eases off the floor, gripping my waist for balance. I keep completely still until she’s on her feet and not so close. Then, I’m tucking myself back into my jeans and zipping up as my stomach fills with acid.
Her brows tug in slightly as she watches me. “The bedroom?”
“Sure.”
It doesn’t matter where we talk. The only thing that does is that when we do, she doesn’t hate me for what I’ve just done.