Chapter 16
TINLEY
My eyes blinked a few times before they remained open. I yawned and stretched. I hugged the pillow in front of me and rolled onto my back into him.
I gasped and looked behind me. Josh was sprawled out on his stomach. The pillows were placed down the middle of the bed for a reason. Why was he on my side?
I scanned the room. I was on the wrong side. I rolled back and it all came back to me. I pulled the blanket back up and peeked over the edge. His blanket has slipped down, exposing his muscular back. His body was wasted under suits. The rhythm of his steady breathing calmed my nerves.
His hand ran down the bedsheets as if looking for something. Was he looking for me? His eyes fluttered open. He focused on me and smiled. His sexy grin made my stomach flip. He rolled onto his side and covered himself with the blanket. The air held a slight chill.
“Morning.” His groggy morning voice tickled my eardrums. The low bass made me shiver. “How did you sleep?”
“Good.” My voice came out muffled. “You?”
“Probably the best sleep I’ve had in years.” He chuckled and shifted now on his back. “You hungry? I think I remember how to make pancakes.”
“Pancakes sound good.” I pulled the blanket down so he could hear me.
“Okay.” He sat up and the blanket fell. “How about we both get dressed, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen? You can help me with breakfast and then after we eat, we can take a walk around the property. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good.” I wrapped the blanket around me and rolled out of bed.
My foot got stuck in the blanket as I attempted to get out of bed.
“Whoa.” Josh caught me before I face-planted on the hardwood floor. He sat me back on the bed and unwrapped the blanket from my legs. “Let’s try that again.”
I giggled and hopped out of bed.
“Meet you in ten minutes.” Josh disappeared into the bathroom, and I ran to the other room to get ready.
I used the bathroom and put on a pair of soft brown corduroy pants and a tan sweater.
I found the clothes in my closet all in my size.
They had the tags on them. I slipped on my tennis shoes but found some fuzzy slippers in the bathroom.
I kicked off my sneakers and put on the slippers instead. They made my toes warm and toasty.
A vanity with a lit mirror and chair was built into the bathroom next to the sink. I slid my hair stuff down and climbed on the chair. Most of my hair had escaped the braid. I needed to remember to wrap it up at night. Apparently, I moved a lot in my sleep.
I took down the rest of the braid and sprayed it with the water bottle. I parted it down the middle and used gel to slick down the left side. I put it in a pigtail above my ear. I worked on the right side when Josh poked his head in.
“Oh, you look so cute.” He stood behind me. “I love your hair like this.” He pulled the braid on the left side. “You want bananas, strawberries, or blueberries in your pancakes?”
“Bananas.” I grinned and worked on securing the second pigtail. “With peanut butter and syrup.”
Josh made a face. I giggled.
He left the room. I bit my lip and stared at my reflection. The smell of coffee hit me. Josh put on music in the kitchen. My feet swung to the beat. I worked to smooth down a few stray strands. Once it was perfect, my hands dropped to my lap.
I gripped the side of the chair and turned my head to the left and then the right.
My heart raced and my vision blurred as tears pooled in my eyes.
I tried to look away, but I couldn’t escape her.
My little staring back at me. I held in a sob and turned away from the mirror.
My hands flew to my hair, removing the pigtails as fast as my fingers would move.
I grabbed the brush and started brushing my hair down. It curled back up. “Ugh.”
I tried combing it flat down again and it would just curl back up.
It wasn’t long and still wet. The gel made my curls pop and all of it made me look little.
I jumped off the stool and turned the water on in the sink.
I grabbed a towel and put it across my shoulders.
I tried again to comb out my hair, but it didn’t work.
I sobbed and leaned forward. Something held me back.
“Tinley.” Josh pulled me away from the sink. Steam was lofting out of it. “It’s too hot.”
He turned the faucet off. I stepped away from him and tried to comb my hair again. I just combed and combed and combed.
“Tinley, stop.” But I didn’t listen. He snatched the brush out of my hands.
“Give it back.” I held my hand out.
“No.” He frowned. “Not until you tell me what’s going on. Why did you take down your hair? You looked so cute.”
“No,” I yelled.
He blinked and stepped back.
“I don’t want to look cute.” My lip quivered and I swayed.
Josh dropped the brush and grabbed me before I collapsed on the ground. He guided me toward the bed and sat me down.
I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I’m not cute anymore.” I shook my head and covered my face with my hands.
My mind went back to the last time I had my hair in the same style.
It was with the banker. He used to bribe me with money, but it was toy money.
He made me do things to earn rewards, but he never showed me the prizes.
Josh sat next to me but didn’t speak. He deserved an explanation, but I didn’t have one to give.
“I can’t be little anymore.”
He stood and pulled a chair from the corner to sit in front of me.
“Why not?” He placed a hand on mine to keep me from fidgeting. Banker hated when I fidgeted, too.
“You know why?” I pulled my hands away. “Those men used my little to exploit me and now she’s gone forever.”
“You may think she’s gone, but I have seen hints of her trying to come out since the moment I met you.”
“Nah-uh.” I slapped my hand over my mouth. Yeah, I heard it.
I took a deep breath and dropped my hands.
“She may want to come out, but she can’t,” I whispered.
Josh rubbed my hands together.
“Oh, sweetie.” His big hands engulfed my own and warmed me.
I loved being touched by him. I had to work out of the habit of flinching every time someone touched me.
I got in trouble when I did it even though I think some men liked it.
The fear in my eyes. But it was different with Josh.
I wasn’t scared of him. I welcomed his touch.
In such a short time, I had developed a crush bordering on obsession with him.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Josh ran his thumb across my knuckles. “Did your little ever come fully out in the last two year?”
“Oh no.” I shook my head. I shuddered at the thought. I had seen way too much in the last two years. My little didn’t need to be exposed to it.
“Did you want her to come out?”
I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “It wasn’t safe.”
“Aw, Tinley, you did such a good job looking after her and keeping her safe inside, but she was still there.” He tapped my chest. “And you took such good care of her, now she feels safe and wants to take care of you.”
“You think she feels safe?” I removed my hands from his and sat them in my lap.
Josh sat back with his hands on his thighs.
“I’d like to think she does. I made a promise to you, Tinley, and I made it to your little, too.” Josh leaned forward. “I’m not saying you have to be little. I will care about you and care for you whether you ever decide to be little again.”
“But you’re a Daddy Dom.” My heart raced. “Not that you want to be my Daddy or anything. Or that I’d want you to be my Daddy. I mean…” I hid my face with my hands.
He sat his hands on my legs.
“Tinley.” He squeezed.
I shook my head.
“Please look at me.”
I lowered my hands but just below my eyes. He had such a handsome face, and his lips curled up at the ends.
“I am a Daddy Dom, and it would be my honor to take care of you and your little, but I would be one regardless.” He took my left hand in his. “And being little has nothing to do with having a Daddy, right?”
“I guess.”
“You told me you and Damon almost broke up because you weren’t sure he would accept your little.” He took my other hand. “You stood up for your little then. Why not stand up for her now?”
“Because they wanted me to be little.”
“But you weren’t little.” He nodded. “Not for them. They didn’t get to see that precious side of you.”
“She did come out sometimes. When I was alone in the dark.” I sighed. “She helped me when I needed her.”
“I think the reason she is so insistent on making her presence known is because she needs you now.” Josh spoke in hushed tones. “Is there something you used to do when you wanted to feel little?”
With Damon, I was little all the time. At least that was how it felt. Something about the way he looked at me made me feel little. But he wasn’t here.
“You can make me.” I sat up. “Use your Daddy Dom voice.”
“You want me to make you act little?” Josh chuckled. “I don’t think it works like that, Tinley. Does your little have a nickname?”
“Little Lee.”
Josh laughed. “I like it.”
“I like it when you call me sweet T.” I pulled my legs up and sat crisscross on the bed. “It’s like sweet and T for Tinley.”
“Okay, well, any little girl needs like a bazillion nicknames. Am I right?” He scooted closer. “What else? What did your little like to play with?”
“She likes to draw.” I looked around the room. “I always carried a sketch pad with me everywhere I went.”
“Okay, and did Little Lee have special outfits or a stuffie she liked to sleep with?”
“Yep.” I popped the P. “I like dogs. I can draw any type of dog. I wanted a dog, and we were going to get one when we got back. But…”
And then I remembered. And my little ran away. I frowned.
“Hey, sweetie.” Josh sat next to me and hugged me. “It’s okay. Baby steps. Okay?”
“It’s so hard.” I laid my head on his chest.
“It will get easier.” He shifted to face me. “All of this gets easier with time. I promise.”
An alarm went off on his watch.
“We have to get a move on.” He looked at his watch. “We have breakfast and then you have a meeting with Maria. Finish getting dressed.”
“Okay.”
Josh kissed the side of my head and then headed for the door.
“Joshie.”
He stopped and smirked.
“Daddies have nicknames, too.”
He chuckled.
“Huggies.” I held my hands out and ran toward him. I hugged him around the waist. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Little Lee.” He kissed the top of my head and headed down the hall toward the kitchen.
I admired him as he walked away.