Chapter 34 #2
“He’s gone.” The grip he has on my hand tightens when he realizes what this entry must be about. “Today we buried my dad and said goodbye.” My voice trembles, but I power through.
“I don’t really understand why they call the funeral saying goodbye.
It’s not like he could say goodbye back.
Since the day we lost him, all I’ve felt is emptiness.
Mom has been a hot mess, and who can blame her when the other half of her soul is now gone.
Archer and Ollie have both been so focused on her and managing arrangements for the funeral.
But don’t they get that I’m hurting, too? Does that make me selfish?
But when I maybe look back on this entry one day, I don’t want to remember the pain and the tears.
I want to remember that while darkness surrounded me, trying to fathom a world where my dad is no longer in it, there was one person who saved me.
I felt like I was drowning in grief, and he reached a hand to pull me out—Rhyland.
There will never be a day that he understands what he means to me and especially what that moment meant to me.
Thank God, he won’t ever read this diary.
When I was in his arms outside by the swings, the world stopped.
It was no longer a world without my dad, but a world where I had him.
Even if just for a moment, he made the noise silent.
I could forget everything we’d been through the last few days.
And for that, I will forever be grateful.
Talk Soon, Love, Payton. ” I whisper through falling tears and close the book, keeping it in my lap as an anchor.
Tears fill Rhy’s eyes, and he remains silent.
“Reading this book earlier reminded me you’ve always grounded me. Instead of running away earlier to think, I should have been running to you, into your arms. You’re my sounding board, my lifeline, my anchor.”
A tear finally slips down his cheek.
“So you can’t tell me I don’t have to tell you I love you because this book is proof that I’ve loved you since before I even knew what the word ‘love’ truly even meant. And I will say it every day to you until my last breath.”
Rhyland settles in between my legs as I cup his cheeks. “I love you, Ryland Cole.”
He smashes his lips to mine. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His lips leave mine and travel down my neck. “God, you’re beautiful and all mine.”
His . It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.
He presses his forehead against mine.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by allowing you to leave and giving you space to work things out in your mind. It killed me to watch you walk away. And if you came here and decided that this wasn’t what you wanted, I would have let you go.
It would have torn me apart, but I love you enough to let you go, Payton. If that was what you wanted.”
“What if I don’t want you to let me go, ever? What if I want to stay here, build a home with you—a life, a future? Only with you.”
“God, I want that, too.” He breathes in relief. “God, do I want that, Pay. I want to spend my life with you and Gabby and maybe one day add more to our craziness.”
The butterflies in my chest swarm in a cyclone in my chest at the thought of having Ryland’s baby.
Panic blankets his face, and he pushes up off me with his brows scrunched. “Wait, where is Gabby?”
I laugh because it took him this long to realize that she wasn’t here.
“She’s still with my mom. I wanted to do this alone—you know, just in case.” I avoid his gaze, staring at the coffee table as if it had something fascinating on it.
His fingers pinch my chin and bring my attention back to him.
“Hey, there is not a world where I don’t want you. That I don’t want to kiss you.” And he does, enough to bring those fireworks I missed kissing others.
“What do you say we go get our girl and bring her home?”
More tears fill my eyes. “You’re right. She’s your girl in all ways that matter. And I would like that very much.”
Before I can blink, Rhyland presses one last kiss to my lips and is on his feet, hauling me into his arms in a firefighter’s hold.
“Rhyland?” I screech. “Put me down, you big goof.”
“Neva,” he responds, smacking my ass, causing me to yelp again.
“Hey, the front door is that way,” I say as he heads up the stairs.
His laughter vibrates through my body with our closeness. I bounce with each quick step he takes. “I’m well aware. But just because we’re going to get our girl and bring her home doesn’t mean I’m not going to take advantage of the house to ourselves for even a little while.”
Oh, I like his style.
After dragging out two orgasms from me, Rhyland finally slid home and fucked me in our bed.
I can still feel him between my thighs as I stand by the front door at my mom’s. Rhyland carries a sleeping Gabby down the stairs as Mom meets us from the living room with Gabby’s bag.
“You know I didn’t mind keeping her all night.”
“I know,” I say.
“We appreciate it, Connie. But I want both my girls home,” Rhyland says, and my heart flutters at the same time Mom all but swoons. Are those heart emojis in her eyes?
“It’s about time.” She laughs as she hugs me as Rhy carefully settles Gabby into her car seat. Mom and I lean close as we watch him.
“There is nothing more attractive than a man being amazing with a child.”
“Mom,” I hiss with a smile on my face because she is totally right.
“Why do you think your father and I ended up with three of you?”
“Oh my God.” I cover my face with my hands. Mom’s laughter only adds to the embarrassment. Someone get me the hell out of this house. As if he knew what I needed, Rhy comes over with the car seat braced on his forearm.
“Ready to go?” Rhy asks, holding his other hand out for me to take.
“Yeah, let’s go home.”