20. Devina
The wind blew past me as Scarlet pushed me higher and higher. “Kick your feet!” she would yell after every push. The goal was to go so high you would fly over the top. Eight-year-old physics meant a hard enough push and enough desire equaled endless possibilities. When her arms would become worn and we both laughed enough to leave us gasping for breath, she would yell at me to jump. And I would. Being airborne for three seconds felt like an eternity. Like I was flying. Until I crashed to the ground.
We would come home scraped, bruised, and dirty. But the jump was always worth the crash.
The past two weeks have left me with a high from the flight as Ryder and I fall into a routine. We almost feel like a real married couple. I mean we are a real married couple. A real arranged married couple. He’s just busy doing dangerous jobs around town in the middle of the night and I’m secretly still trying to kill his dad. But every couple has their own unique challenges.
Right?
He comes home every night, just as he promised. I don’t cover my arms at home, like I promised. I still wanted to hate him, but hating him was the farthest thing from my mind when he was towering over me with his “fuck me” eyes. He’s already memorized my body in a way I hadn’t even discovered. His touch ignited something deep within me that I didn’t know existed.
I spent my nights in our room. We ate breakfast together. He even goes jogging with me when he is home. We were living in a bubble and it was all beginning to feel normal. The problem is that we are anything but normal and the lines I initially created in my mind and heart were being blurred to the point that I questioned whether or not they truly existed.
The problemis that I’m in a constant war against myself over Ryder Totaro. He’s told me stories of his family. His brothers are as close as Scarlet and I were. He’s aware of many of the vile and torturous things his father is responsible for, but he intends to legitimize their businesses. When he told me, his honesty cracked the wall I’d spent so long building to shield myself from the world.
We have one more week until my first, and hopefully last attempt at taking out Cap. Taylor is keeping me up to date almost daily, but with Ryder attached to my side, it’s nearly impossible for me to do anything myself to further the plan.
Luckily, I gave MaryClaire a call and today we are planning to grab coffee at her uncle’s shop and stroll around town to find a dress for the charity dinner. You know, normal girly things. But when we are done, Taylor has a device to drop off to me for the big night.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Ryder asks from the closet as he steps out and straightens his tie.
I’ve never seen a man so gorgeous. A well-balanced mix of masculinity and beauty.
“A girl’s day isn’t a girl’s day if your husband tags along,” I stretch, admiring him and secretly wanting to invite him back to bed. I’m fairly certain he can tell I’m becoming more and more smitten with him every day, even though I try my best to keep him at arm’s length.
“Your husband is not a tag-along, little sparrow.” He pretends to be insulted, but I don’t know that there isn’t anything this man wouldn’t give me if I asked. Leaning over the side of the bed, he plants a kiss on my thigh. “Looks like we were a little too rough last night. Why didn’t you use your safe word, sparrow?” he rubs his thumb over a large bruise on my thigh.
I fist his tie to bring his lips to mine. “I guess the pleasure outweighed the pain.” He would have no way of knowing that as my body is becoming weaker and I’m starting to see the effects in a real and tangible way.
“Well, no more of that, Devina.” He only uses my name when he is serious. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” He sits on the bed to pet my hair away from my face.
“You didn’t, Ryde. I promise.”
“A driver will bring you to the cafe and will be available to you and your friend for the rest of the day.” He caresses me once more before standing to fetch his suit jacket from the closet. “I have a meeting with your brother and a few others. I will be home early this evening.”
“Great, hopefully, I’ll have a new dress to show you for the gala.” I smile.
“I almost forgot,” He pulls out his wallet and sifts through a few cards before holding one out to me.
“What’s this?” I ask, hesitantly accepting.
“It’s a Black Card.” He says as if it were the most common thing in the world. “No limit.” He gives me a wink, kisses the top of my head, and turns to leave, while I sit stunned. I’m wracked with guilt feeling like this man would give me anything in the world, while I secretly plan to take everything from him.