23. Kash
Chapter Twenty-Three
KASH
As I drove the car up in the hills, Naina started to grow tense, her body taut as a wire. If she was this tense in the car, it wasn’t going to get any better once we actually got to my father’s house.
I wanted to reach out and comfort her, except I had no comfort to offer. I didn’t want to do this any more than she did. If Auggie hadn’t made that damn post, I would have more time.
I needed more time.
I never had any when I was around my father. There was only one timeline and that was his.
It was why in high school, when most of my classmates did extracurricular activities, I was expected to show up to the office after school and shadow him or whichever sucker he picked for the day.
I was expected to spend my summers in the office. He commanded that I learn the business, and I did. I followed his instructions blindly because I didn’t want to face the consequences.
And there were always consequences for not following his orders.
It was why I was still here. Why I believed loneliness was easier than giving my father something—some one —else he could use against me.
A part of me realized that I was putting Naina in danger. My father was not going to take this defiance lightly. No one defied Edward Sutherland, not if they wanted to leave unscathed.
I had the scars to prove it.
I looked at Naina through the corner of my eyes.
Naina made me selfish. The first time in my life I wanted something for myself, even though I knew better. I would burn the world to keep her safe.
That was the thing about selfishness, I found. Once you gave into it, it was like a drug. You would do anything to keep the thing you had wanted so desperately none of the consequences mattered.
My drug was Naina Hollister.
I thought I built an immunity to her, though the more time I spent with her, the more I needed her.
“You don’t have to be scared, we’re in this together,” I said.
I felt her gaze on the side of my face.
“I’m not scared of your family. I already have some idea what to expect.”
I could guarantee she was wrong about what to expect from my family.
“You’re scared, what about?”
Her hands were wrung together on her lap, and I reached out to pull them apart. Naina squeezed my hand in hers, her fingernails digging in.
She shook her head. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“When it comes to you, that’s not going to work,” I said. “I need you to be safe, and if happiness is too much to ask for somedays, then I need you to be without troubles. Please tell me how to make that happen.”
Silence filled the car, and I risked a glance at her. Naina stared back at me with a perplexed look.
“This is temporary,” she blurted. “We come with an expiry date that is not going to change, right? This isn’t an ‘I’ll use it past the expiry date and nothing will happen’ kind of situation. Neither of us want that.”
I ground my jaw, not liking the reminder on top of being reminded that I couldn’t touch her. That I didn’t have the right to touch her because we needed to have boundaries.
Did she talk to Nick about boundaries?
“I recall. What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know.” She lifted her shoulders in a shrug before looking out the window. We were driving up Big Sur to Carmel Highlands. The coastal highway provided great views of the Pacific Ocean on one side and tonight, there was a full moon reflecting off the water. I was almost tempted to pull over instead of going to my father’s house.
“Is that what’s bothering you?” I prodded.
“No. Maybe. I don’t know, I’m just agitated.”
She wound her fingers through mine, almost absentmindedly. It was nice…holding her hand. A part of me realized that I was touch starved. But I didn’t want just anyone’s touch.
It had to be Naina.
It was always Naina.
See what I meant about addiction?
The time for talking was over.
I slowed the car as we reached my father’s house, and the gates at front of the property slid open as the sensor read my license plate. The tension in the car was palpable now. Neither of us wanted to be here, that much was clear.
“Should I fake an illness?” Naina whispered.
I almost wanted to laugh. I had pneumonia in the fifth grade, practically on death’s door, and I still had to show up to family dinner.
These were the things I didn’t tell her, and what she probably wanted to know.
It would help her understand me better if she knew how I grew up. I just didn’t want her tainted with that information.
I didn’t want her to look at me differently.
“It wouldn’t matter.”
I drove up the long winding tree lined driveway before the house finally came into view.
Naina cursed softly, looking through the windshield with wide eyes.
“This is where your parents live?”
At that, I did laugh.
“Not my parents. My father and his wife. My mother lives in New York.”
Naina swung surprised eyes at me. “Did you willingly give me two pieces of information in one day?”
I was aware that I was giving her the blandest information, nothing that was going to help her actually know me.
“Consider it your lucky day.”
Putting the car in park, I turned it off and exited before going around to Naina’s side. When she started to walk towards the house, I grabbed her hand to stop her.
“I have something for you,” I said, suddenly nervous. I never thought I would have to do this so I wasn’t sure about the protocol. Reaching inside my jacket pocket, I took out the ring box.
“What is that?”
I opened the box and removed the ring.
“Oh my god, is that a family heirloom?” Naina gasped.
I scoffed. “I would never give you a family heirloom.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, hurt flashed in Naina’s eyes for the briefest second before they cleared. I realized what I said could have been misconstrued.
Did she really think I thought less of her?
I asked her to marry me, and not because she presented a convenient option.
Grabbing her left hand, I slid the ring onto her finger to join the wedding band already there.
A perfect fit.
“I had this ring made for you because I don’t want you to wear something that’s belonged to one of them. This is your ring. My ring, for you, and only you.”
Naina let out a breath of surprise. Raising her hand to my mouth, I kissed her ring finger, never letting my eyes fall from hers.
“I thought it would be bigger,” she said, her lips titling up into a smile.
It was a little ostentatious, to be honest. I could have gone for a smaller diamond. Then again, she was my wife, and I wanted everyone to know she was taken.
“Ready?” I asked.
Neither of us said a word as I led her up the steps to the front door. It opened before we even reached the last step, Walter standing on the other side like Death’s guardian.
We stepped into the grand foyer and I saw Naina’s eyes widen imperceptibly as she took it all in. The white walls, the gleaming Italian tiles, the columns, the high ceiling, the paintings.
“Is everyone already here?” I asked Walter.
“Yes, sir. They’re in the sitting room,” he replied. “May I take your wrap, Madam?”
“Oh, yes.” Naina hastily removed her wrap and handed it to Walter. He walked off with it.
Turning Naina to face me, I placed my hands on either side of her face, making sure she was looking at me.
“Nothing they are going to say in there matters, understand? You know yourself better than anyone. Don’t listen to anything they say.”
Naina tucked her hand into the crook of my elbow.
“We’re going to be fine,” she said, confidently.
Oh, how I wanted to believe her. I was just delaying the inevitable by standing there.
“What’s the worst that can happen? They’re going to talk shit. Well, I spent a lot of years fighting against old men who thought just because I was a woman it meant I was there to fetch their coffees, and I loved setting them straight.” Naina peeked up at me. “Don’t worry, I have experience dealing with entitled people.”
I would have asked her who those entitled old men were so I could take pleasure in destroying them. But we were already coming to the sitting room and I could hear voices. Naina squeezed my arm in comfort.
My stepmother was the first one to look up as we rounded the corner. She’d been in the middle of telling a story and she looked up, a grimace on her face because she hated being interrupted when she was in the middle of a good story.
She fought hard to control the grimace as she noticed me, and it was back on her face as soon as her eyes landed on Naina. Her cold grey eyes flicked up and down Naina’s body and in a second she had taken my wife’s measure and dismissed her as inconsequential.
“Kassius, you’re finally here,” Diana said. “And you brought your guest.”
Her false joy brought everyone’s attention to us. In addition to my parents, my aunt, uncle, and Vera, the Sloane’s were also there.
Mr. and Mrs. Sloane and Crystal sat on the couch across from the couch currently occupied by Diana and my father. My aunt and uncle occupied the two chairs around the coffee table perpendicular to the couches, and Vera stood by the fireplace, a part of the party and still distant from it.
Naina’s fingers twitched where they rested on my arm.
“Apologies for my lateness,” I said. “If I had known we were having guests, I would have at least attempted to show up on time.”
“Maybe you would have been on time if you hadn’t stopped on the way,” Diana said, laughing lightly.
The implication being, what? I picked up Naina on the side of the road? For as much class as Diana claimed to have, she really didn’t have any.
“Who says I stopped over? Naina and I are coming straight from home,” I said, kissing Naina’s temple. “I suppose this is as good a time as any to introduce you all to Naina. My wife.”
I tacked on the last part mostly for the Sloane’s benefit because it seemed they hadn’t been informed of what they were walking into. Clearly, they weren’t well-versed in my father’s games.
“It’s so nice to meet you all finally,” Naina added.
Vera sighed heavily and tossed back her wine like it was a chaser. This time, I had prepared her about what I was planning on doing.
“What is the meaning of this, Edward?” Everett Sloane demanded.
“I would think it’s fairly obvious,” Naina mumbled under her breath.
I covered my mouth to hide my smile.
“Did you invite us here to insult us?” Julia Sloane added.
“We had no idea about this,” Aunt Amelia said. Oh, please. As if they didn’t lose their minds when they saw Auggie’s post. “We are going to resolve this misunderstanding, isn’t that right, Edward?”
“My marriage is not a misunderstanding and there is nothing to resolve,” I said.
My father stood up, buttoning his coat.
“I think you’ve said enough on this, Kassius,” he said. “You have done enough to insult this family. We’re going to discuss this in my office. Now.”
I ground my jaw. Of course, we were going to his office. My father never lost his temper where people could see. Behind the closed doors of his office? His words were as sharp as his whip.
I turned to Naina. “Are you going to be okay?”
There was no trepidation in her eyes as she nodded. Naina wasn’t one to be easily scared off under most circumstances. Leaning forward, she placed a soft kiss on my lips, and I wondered how much of it was for show and how much was real.
“Good luck,” she whispered.
I wanted to laugh at the innocence I saw in her eyes. Because she thought it was just a conversation between father and son. She didn’t know that it was a conversation between a creator and his creation, a subject and a master.
And there could only be one winner.