22. Naina
Chapter Twenty-Two
NAINA
I fell off my bike when I was ten, that’s how I got the scar on my lip.
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, it’s faded a lot since I was a kid.
I see it.
I fell off my bike when I was 7 or 8, twisted my ankle really badly.
My parents always preached the benefits of hard work. Hard work, they used to say, would always pay off in the end, and I would get the promotion, the raise, the accolades I deserved. It was the rule I lived by.
Hard work helped me graduate top of my class, and as high school valedictorian. It got me into UCLA, and then Harvard Law School. It got me the job of my dream at a prestigious New York law firm.
I didn’t mind not having a life outside of working hard because that could wait. I wasn’t really social, didn’t feel the need to be surrounded by friends or hang out. I was happy with casual acquaintances.
All that hard work and sacrifice, and the only thing I seemed to have gotten was somehow entangled with Kash Sutherland.
There was a time when I wouldn’t have minded that. Kash had his moments where he made me feel like I was important to him beyond our deal. It wasn’t him telling me I was his wife and stating our marriage was real.
I was chalking that up to the heat of the moment.
How could our marriage be real when we didn’t know each other? When he said he never wanted to get married or be in a relationship? As far as I knew, that plan hadn’t changed. I would be incredibly suspicious if it had.
No, the surprise was him eating Sami’s birthday cake. The cake that was covered in cream cheese icing because I made it for my sister not knowing she invited my husband for dinner.
“You can’t eat the cake,” I said, carrying said cake into the kitchen. I set it on the counter and removed the candles Sami blew out.
“Why, is it poisoned?” Kash asked.
“No, I didn’t think that far ahead. I could inherit a lot of money if I killed you.”
Picking up three small plates, I cut three slices of the cake. Kash had been suspiciously nice throughout dinner, even to Nick. I didn’t know why I thought it was suspicious because he was always nice. I mean, he didn’t go out of his way to be rude to people.
He also kept touching me throughout dinner. Not in a lascivious manner. Just playing with my hair, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, resting his hand on my knee. It had driven me crazy.
“Why can’t I eat your cake, then?” Kash asked, blinking innocently.
Choosing to ignore that comment, I answered him. “It has cream cheese frosting and you don’t like cream cheese. I didn’t know you were coming or I would have used buttercream.”
I turned to drop the knife in the sink, and when I turned back around Kash was cutting a bite off a piece of cake and popping it into his mouth. His eyes flickered up to me and held mine, the intensity in them punching me in the gut and leaving me breathless.
“I’ll eat anything you make. Even if it’s an attempt to poison me.”
I’d been utterly speechless. I wished I could say that in all my dating experience I’d met many men like Kash. The sad truth was, I hadn’t. Not one who challenged me just as much as I challenged him. Definitely not one who made me feel like I was turning into goo and melting into the floor.
He was wrong, I wasn’t playing games. And my personality definitely wasn’t ‘fuck around and find out’. I played it safe, and where Kash was concerned all that safety flew out the window.
If I was playing it safe, I wouldn’t have married him at all. I wouldn’t even have entertained his request of only having me serve him at the restaurant when I had an half an Inn to manage.
We all had our indulgences, things we couldn’t give up no matter how bad they were for us. For me, that indulgence was Kash.
“Everything okay?”
Blinking out of the haze I had fallen into, I looked up from my computer screen. Sonia was standing at the office entrance, her chef’s coat half-unbuttoned.
“Yep, just lost in thought.”
I looked down at the computer where the screen was split to show my bank account, which had more money in it than I had seen in my life, and the other showed an email from the realtor I contacted back when I was desperate.
I shut my laptop, and looked back at Sonia.
“What are you thinking about?”
She came into the office and sat in the chair across from me. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, the greys at her temple needing to be retouched. Sonia always kept on top of that.
As my mother’s best friend, she’d been a staple in our life since I was born. She mourned my parents just as much as Sami and I did. Without them, she was the closest family member we had. Sonia was also a big advocate for keeping things to herself, and not asking personal questions.
Which she hadn’t when I told her I was going to marry Kash. She asked me if I knew what I was doing, and if I was sure it was what I wanted. But she didn’t ask me why I was marrying a man I appeared to barely tolerate. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t because she didn’t care about me. It was because she trusted me to do the right thing.
Having their trust, my friends and family, was strange. Because half the time I didn’t even trust myself.
“I was thinking that I worked so hard for everything, and all it got me was a billionaire husband,” I said.
Sonia held my eyes for a moment, and then we both burst into laughter. The kind of laughter that came out of nowhere and chased away all the darkness. It felt odd to laugh without Sami here because she needed the laughter just as much as I did.
“At least, you don’t have to sit in a cold corporate office anymore,” Sonia said, shuddering. “I always had to carry two sweaters.”
“I definitely don’t miss that.”
Her smile softened. “It’s good to see you laugh. You were never one for laughter, even as a child. A happy child, for sure. But not one who laughed.”
“I’m only laughing at my misery,” I said.
Sonia narrowed her shrewd gaze on me.
“Is everything okay? I saw your husband more when the two of you weren’t married.”
Kash’s absence hadn’t gone unnoticed by anyone. First of all, we were a small Inn and an equally small restaurant. While we prided ourselves on having a great chef—aka Sonia—it wasn’t the kind of place a Sutherland would visit every week. His appearance here had been odd. His absence was even odder because we were married now.
I was going to have a grand ole time explaining his permanent absence once we divorced and went our separate ways.
“He’s just busy with work,” I said.
Sonia didn’t get a chance to continue her interrogation because Janice knocked on the door.
“Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a woman here to see you,” she said to me.
That didn’t bode well.
I left my office, Sonia and Janice following behind me.
The woman was in the lobby, her back to me, so all I saw was her sleek, shoulder-length dark hair, the back of her black suit, and the tall heels. In those heels she was probably the same height as me.
“Excuse me?”
She turned, displaying the asymmetrical front of her jacket and the large mother-of-pearl buttons holding it close. She walked towards me with her hand outstretched, a professional smile on her face that actually reached her eyes.
“Mrs. Sutherland, I presume?”
I startled at the name, my hand remaining frozen by my side. Her smile dropped, and she started to lower her hand. At the last minute, I reached out to grip it, pumping it once.
“Yes, that’s me,” I said. “Sorry for the awkwardness, it’s the first time I’ve heard it out loud.”
“I can understand. I’m Gia Marino, I work with Ms. Sutherland. I’m her designer.”
Gia pulled a card out of her purse and handed it to me. Gianna Marino, Creative Director for Marino House.
“You’re a fashion designer?”
“Yes! Mr. Sutherland’s assistant asked me to send some dresses for tonight’s dinner, but since I was already in San Francisco, I figured I would come myself.”
She was saying things that didn’t make any sense to me.
“Dinner?” I questioned.
Gia’s brown eyes shifted back and forth between mine before moving to Sonia and Janice, as if she expected help from them. It didn’t take her long to realize we were completely blindsided by this dinner.
“I assume you don’t know,” she said.
“No, but I’m going to find out.”
Holding up one finger, I stepped away from the group and back into my office. Taking my phone out of the drawer, I called Kash.
“Naina.”
The timbre of his voice sent shivers down my spine.
“There’s a woman named Gia Marino here, to apparently dress me for dinner tonight,” I said.
“Right, family dinner. I couldn’t get us out of it. They’re all so eager to meet you,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I’m assuming Aunt Auggie’s post didn’t go over well?”
“It went exactly as I expected. These people are not surprising.”
I didn’t want to meet his family. The less Sutherlands I met the better. Though, I had to keep my side of the deal. Part of the reason Kash married me was so he didn’t have to marry whoever his family had picked for him. That meant that I had to play the part of the perfect wife.
“Okay, I’ll find a dress.”
Kash told me he would pick me up at seven, and disconnected the call.
This should be fun.
By 6:50pm that evening, I was dressed and ready, waiting for Kash in the living room. I’d spent a long hour blow drying and curling my hair before putting it into rollers so the curls were exactly right. I applied my make-up with more precision than I had even on my wedding day.
No one could say I didn’t look the part of Kash Sutherland’s wife. Well, except for my tattoos and nose ring. They weren’t going to like me regardless, no point hiding those.
If I was the sort of person who could handle silence and used the time to introspect, I would tell myself that I was making a big mistake. Tonight was me willingly walking into a den of vipers who could easily take everything from me.
It didn’t matter that I had no animosity towards them. It wouldn’t matter that it was all a mistake made in crippling grief, and burning anger.
Would Kash understand if I told him?
Probably not.
Walking through the living room, I straightened one of the planters on the side table. With Sami in San Francisco, the house was eerily quiet, even with the TV playing in the background. I’d never done well with silence.
Silence led to thinking, and thinking led to guilt.
Where was Kash?
I looked at my watch, and noted that it was past 7:00pm. He was late. I was just about to reach for my clutch to get my phone when the doorbell rang.
Pulling it open, I found Kash standing on the porch, eyes downcast as he hurried typed away on his phone, a frown pulling across his brows. He appeared to have showered recently, if his wet hair was anything to go by, and he smelled absolutely delicious, warm and spicy.
The part of me that wanted love and romance wanted to bury my face in his neck. Until I remembered that Kash was probably not the man to do that with.
“I’m sorry I’m la?—”
He looked up, the frown disappearing as he looked me over. All the harshness in his face melted away, his eyes darkening for a different reason now.
I’d chosen a dark green dress from Gia’s collection, with a tight bodice that did great things for my breasts while still remaining appropriate for family dinner. The full skirt went down to mid-calf and had a hidden thigh high slit. On closer inspection, there was a dark, dark green pattern overlaying the dress that was almost invisible.
“You look incredible,” he breathed.
“I know.”
I flounced my skirt so that it exposed the length of my leg before settling down again. I was very proud of my choice.
Kash made a move to step forward, and I placed a hand on his chest.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Is Samira here?” He looked behind me.
“Nope, but that doesn’t mean you are invited inside.” I’d thought about it, and come to the realization that we were blurring the lines. Kash didn’t want a relationship, and neither did I for that matter. My priority was my sister and our legacy.
I stepped back and closed the door on his stunned face. Quickly turning off the TV, I grabbed my wrap and clutch, adjusted my hair in the mirror and stepped out of the house.
“Why am I not allowed in the house?” Kash asked, watching me lock the door.
“This is a professional relationship with professional boundaries.” I turned to face him. “You can’t come in the house and confuse things. Last night was an exception for Sami’s birthday.”
He stared at me a long moment, his gaze inquisitive.
“Okay.”
I blinked up at him, a little stunned by his acquiescence.
“That’s it?”
Kash stepped forward until we were toe to toe.
“Okay, I understand your reluctance. I also understand your body’s response to me and that you seem to suffer from decision paralysis. I can give you time to come to terms with what your body needs. You’re mine for the next six months and there is no escaping me. I am going to fuck, but not until you beg me to.”
Placing a finger under my chin, he tilted my head back until I couldn’t look away from his eyes.
“And Goldie, you will beg me to fuck you.”
I pulled out of his grasp.
“Invest in a therapist. Please. You have enough money.”
My heart beat wildly against my chest as I tried to maintain my calm demeanor. The thing was, Kash wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t going to be begging him to fuck me anytime soon.
But the decision paralysis?
That was alive and well. So much so that while I struggled to sleep at night, I wondered if I had truly made the right decision by agreeing to this arrangement. I would be wondering about it until we went our separate ways.
Kash only laughed, leaning in to brush a quick kiss across my lips. So quick I wasn’t even sure it actually happened.
“I don’t know which one of us you’re lying to,” he said. “Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to figure it out. We’re already late.”
He led me to the car and as we drove to his parents’ house, I couldn’t stop his question from echoing in my mind.
Which one of us was I lying to?