31. Naina
Chapter Thirty-One
NAINA
It wasn’t that I didn’t like being pampered. What person didn’t like a day of relaxation? I had Sami and Kat here, and Ava was nicer than I had expected. I wasn’t sure I was made to sit still for this long. My foot was tapping on the floor, eager to get out of here and go back to the apartment.
When I heard Ava talking to Kash, my immediate reaction was to protect him. I wasn’t about to let another parent abuse him.
Ava was so warm and different, it made me wonder how she ever married a man like Edward Sutherland.
Bad blood, Edward had said.
As I watched Ava discuss nail polish colors with my sister, I was starting to understand exactly who had the bad blood. When I searched for Kash’s name online, there was no mention of his mother.
Wherever the Sutherland family was mentioned, it was always Edward and Diana Sutherland. There were no news reports of a divorce between Ava and Edward, or even a breakup. News articles about Ava didn’t mention Kash either.
How filthy rich did a person have to be to completely erase the mention of another person from their lives? It was like Ava hadn’t been a Sutherland at all. Like she wasn’t Kash’s mother.
“More champagne, Mrs. Sutherland?”
I looked up at one of the attendants the spa had assigned us.
“My son will never forgive me if I bring her back drunk,” Ava said. “Go ahead and pour, dear.”
I laughed as the attendant filled our glasses and topped up Sami’s coke. My head was heavy, and not just from the champagne. I had about a hundred foils processing my highlights, as did Sami and Kat. Ava had recently had her hair done so she was getting a facial.
“Shall we go shopping after?” Ava asked. “My treat.”
“That sounds fun,” Kat agreed.
Sami giggled. “Naina’s head will explode if we make her go shopping.”
I looked at Ava. “I get sensory overload sometimes. This is already too much. I’m sorry.”
Ava waved my apology. “We’ll do shopping another day.”
Once my hair was processed, cut and styled, I sat down for my manicure with Ava beside me.
“How did you and Kassius meet?” Ava asked. “He won’t say anything, which I am sure you will learn overtime.”
Her exasperation was unmistakable. I distantly wondered if she would be happy to know Kash shared things me, or wanted to, at least. My heart ached for the man who chose loneliness because his father filled his head with crap.
“He came to my family Inn’s restaurant about seven months ago,” I said. “Insisted that I be the one to serve him, but otherwise was the model diner.”
“Ah, love at first sight,” Ava said, excitedly.
It wasn’t technically our first sight of each other, and it definitely wasn’t love. It never would be.
“And have you always managed the Inn?”
“No, I actually used to be live here until seven months ago. I was a lawyer.” I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. “My dad died, and I moved back to take care of the Inn and be with my sister.”
Ava’s eyes filled with sympathy, and I looked away. I hated seeing that look. I understood it was the normal response and I appreciated their condolences, but I didn’t want to see that look. It made me feel like I was all alone in the world.
“That must have been very hard for you,” Ava said.
“It was.” It was still.
“Did you enjoy being a lawyer?”
It was an odd question, only because I hadn’t given any thought to it. I went to law school because I wanted to be a lawyer. My dream of that life vanished when I got out of law school and realized real life didn’t have the structure school provided, and I was floundering.
Did I like being a lawyer?
“I did, yes.”
Ava’s eyes grew intense.
“Good. I know you love my son, but don’t give up your dreams. If he truly loves you, he will make them a priority.”
I felt a twinge of guilt because I didn’t love her son. Want his body and wicked mind? Yes. Love? I couldn’t even fathom it. Could I?
It was another hour before we were done, and night had fallen outside. We were all waxed, primped, pampered, and manicured when Ava’s driver dropped us off at the apartment.
Ava stepped out of the car, and hugged Kat, Sami, and lastly me.
“Be patient with my son,” she whispered. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. If you give him time, he will give you the world.”
With a kiss on my cheek, she got back in the car and drove off, her words echoing in my mind. How did Kash look at me? In ways he shouldn’t have been because we were temporary . Why did no one understand that?
“So,” Sami said. “Clueless?”
Back in the apartment, we changed into our pajamas, Kat’s borrowed from me, and Sami set up the movie in the media room. While I was waiting for the popcorn to finish popping, Kash sauntered into the kitchen.
His hot gaze skated over my body, lingering on my breasts and my hips, down to the tattoo on my thigh. I was wearing a pair of sleep shorts which stretched across my hips and an old t-shirt.
I ignored him, keeping my eyes on the microwave.
“You can’t still be upset about this morning.”
“I can be upset about anything I want,” I said. “I can be upset about the fact that you have the wrong color furniture, and you can’t do anything about it.”
“I can buy the right color of furniture. Which color do you prefer?”
I dropped my head. Sometimes it was easy to forget I was talking to a man who was made of money.
“Never mind.”
“Naina—”
He stopped when his phone rang. The microwave dinged, and I grabbed the popcorn bag between pinched fingers.
“Do you want to join us?” I was trying to be solicitous and mindful. It was his house, and he was being very generous with it. We were the kids who used to sit in a corner when we visited someone because that’s just how our parents raised us. Being this comfortable in his house was awkward.
Maybe I shouldn’t be. If he couldn’t control himself than I needed to control myself.
Kash declined the call, and put his phone on the counter.
“Movie night?”
I nodded. His phone went off again and he sighed in exasperation, declining the call again.
“We’re watching Clueless,” I said, though I doubted he would be interested.
Before Kash could say anything, his phone started ringing again. My eyes dropped to the screen. Reid.
“You better answer that,” I said. “They seem desperate.”
Kash chuckled. “Yeah, if there’s one thing Reid is desperate for, it’s attention from a Sutherland.”
I frowned, not sure who this Reid person was or why they wanted the Sutherlands attention. I could have gone my whole life without it, really. Being pinned under the intensity of those blue eyes made me feel like I was lying bare for everyone to see.
Kash answered the phone.
“Yes, Reid, what do you want? Access to my trust fund? A one-way ticket to Mars? My soul?”
Oh, so Reid was a friend. How odd, I never thought of Kash having friends.
“Yes, I did, and no, you cannot,” Kash said. “Hang on.”
He put the phone on mute and leaned in, surprising me with a kiss on my cheek.
“Your hair looks great,” he said. “I’m sorry I can’t join you. I have to wrangle my soul from a Ford-Vanderbilt.”
He walked off in the direction of his office, and I carried the bowl of popcorn to the media room.
“Everything okay?” Kat asked.
I sat down between her and Sami on the couch. Lucy and Jo had followed me into the media room and Lucy jumped up on the couch, curling into a ball on my lap. Jo chose the armrest to loaf out on.
“Yeah, I was just talking to Kash.”
“We should get a cat,” Sami said, petting Lucy.
“I don’t have the time to take care of a cat,” I said.
“That’s the beauty of cats. They don’t need a lot of taking care of.”
“I beg to differ,” Kat said. “I need a lot of taking care of. It’s too bad I don’t have anyone to take care of me.”
She pouted, blinking her eyes prettily.
I snorted, popping a popcorn into my mouth.
“As if you wouldn’t scratch someone’s eyes out for even daring to think you can’t take care of yourself.”
“You’re one to talk,” Sami accused. “You want to do everything yourself.”
It wasn’t that. Truthfully, I was a little lost. At almost thirty, I thought I would have my life figured out. That dream of being a partner by thirty at my firm was lost; maybe it had been a fantasy to begin with.
I was afraid to ask for help because I didn’t want to look weak. The Inn was my responsibility, as was ensuring Sami’s distraction free education.
So even though I wanted to preserve our legacy, I couldn’t stop thinking about the real estate agent’s offer. We could sell it and be free of the ghosts that lingered there.
Sami fell asleep halfway through the movie and I covered her with a blanket, brushing the hair from her face.
“What is about a day of relaxation that makes you want to fall asleep?” Kat asked, stretching out on the recliner.
“That’s easy to say when you never have trouble sleeping,” I said.
Kat rolled her head to look at me.
“Hey, are you okay? Like, seriously okay?”
I lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I’m not sure what I am. I’m so confused about everything; I feel like a stranger in my own mind and body. I don’t even know who I am anymore or when I stopped being me.”
The only time I felt even a semblance of the person I was or could be was when Kash told me what he saw when he looked at me. Could I rely on his description of me or was it just an illusion?
Kat wound her fingers through mine.
“Tell me how I can help. I will follow you down every treacherous path until we find you.”
I gripped her hand in both of mine. Just having her here with Sami and me helped. It reminded me of the nights we had before everything went wrong.
“I need you to stay here so I can find my way back,” I said.
Her hazel eyes appeared almost gold when the light flashed across them.
“Then I will stay here, always.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whispered my gratitude to her.
Around midnight, we trudged upstairs, Sami’s head resting on my shoulder as I led her to her room. I gave Kat the one next to hers and perpendicular to mine.
My bed was cold when I got under the covers, my eyes heavy. Lucy jumped on the bed, curling into a ball. Jo had left the media room and disappeared.
I felt sleep sinking its claws into me, but also a darkness clawing its way up towards me. Hands reaching for me through the black shroud, trying to pull me under. I fought them off, opening my eyes. If I didn’t sleep then the darkness couldn’t get me.
I considered going to Kat’s room and sneaking into bed with her. But all that would do was keep her up, too.
Hearing a noise outside the door, I leaned up on my elbows eying the door warily. There was a muffled noise, and then door opened.
“Ow, Jo, let go.”
Something dark darted across the floor and Jo jumped on the chair by the window, loafing it out.
Kash stood at the door, wearing only cotton pajamas.
“I apologize for my wayward child,” he said. “Were you sleeping?”
“Sleeping? What’s that?”
He smiled at me lazily.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
I should have said no. If I wasn’t seduced by the possibility of sleep. The last time I slept was on the video call with him, right? Maybe Kash was magic.
I fell back on the bed and lifted the covers. He slinked into the room with the same agility as his cats, sliding into bed next to me. Lucy was occupying most of the space though there was still distance between Kash and me. Not so much that I couldn’t feel the heat of his body.
My body hummed with awareness.
I was never going to fall asleep.