Chapter 15
Amanda left her tent only once that day, to see to her patients and get something to eat.
She spoke to no one, looked at no one, and went back to the safety of her little shelter as fast as she could.
The willow bark tea she administered to herself to cure her throbbing headache had no effect, and although she tried to make herself eat some porridge, she pushed away the plate after two mouthfuls.
Even the taste of the bland cereal was making her feel sick.
Then Amanda lay on her cot and put her hands over her face to block out the daylight, hoping to sleep a little, but her mind was too busy to let her, and she lay at the mercy of dozens of unwelcome thoughts.
What had possessed her to go after Hamish? What had she hoped to achieve? She still had no idea.
Amanda sighed and felt tears leak between her fingers, and she realised that they were a mixture of rage and sadness.
She was furious with herself for having followed Hamish, since she had acted impulsively without thought for her own safety.
She had nothing to blame him for; he had come to her defence without thought for himself.
Granted, they had both been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but he could have left her there to fend for herself. She shuddered.
Then there was her poor horse. Was she still alive?
Amanda guessed that if she was not too badly injured, Struan’s men would have taken her back to add to their stables, but if not, they would simply have finished her off.
This was not a judgement on them, since men of all walks of life would have done the same.
Still, it did not bear thinking about. Amanda had become fond of the little horse and her gentle nature, and could not bear to think of her fate, especially since she herself had been to blame for it.
Amanda groaned at the thought of an innocent creature suffering because of her. She turned over in her cot and buried her face in the pillow, and at that moment she was so depressed that she wondered if the world would not be a better place without her in it.
She rolled onto her back again and thought of Hamish’s face when he turned around and found her watching him at the graves. Amanda had thought for a second that the blazing rage in his eyes might be directed at her, but thankfully it was not. However, nothing after that had gone right.
She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the sound of birdsong in the tree that overhung her tent, but it did not help. Nothing did. She shook her head irritably and went outside, hoping that a little fresh air would make her feel better.
“Amanda!” Gregor was approaching her, smiling. “I was just comin’ tae fetch ye. Come tae the stables. I have somethin’ tae show ye.”
Puzzled, Amanda followed him. She wished she didn’t have to go, though, uncertain of how she would face Hamish. But then her heart filled with relief and joy as she saw her little mare standing munching hay from a net in front of her.
She was holding one foot off the ground, and Amanda could see that there was a long cut on one of her forelegs which was bleeding a little, and another on her neck. However, she did not look as if she were seriously hurt.
Amanda rushed forward and threw her arms around the little horse’s neck, weeping tears of happiness.
“I am so glad you’re well, my sweetheart,” she breathed as she kissed the mare’s smooth coat. She turned to Gregor. “Did she find her own way back?” she asked, frowning.
Gregor shook his head. “No, lass, Hamish went tae get her,” he replied, shaking his head. “Put himself in quite a lot o’ danger for that wee animal. I tried tae talk him out o’ it, but he is a very stubborn man.”
Amanda was astonished, but said nothing. She went to fetch her medicines and applied warm soothing poultices to injuries on the mare’s body, then bandaged the injured foreleg. She stood back to take stock of her work and gave the little horse an apple, which she gobbled down greedily.
“Thank you,” she whispered, then after one last hug, she decided it was time to go find Hamish.
As she walked to his tent, she tried to think of what to say.
She had been furious with herself and hurt by his bluntness, even though she knew she had messed up.
And despite it all, he had still gone back for her horse, knowing that it meant so much to her.
Before she realized it, she had reached his tent.
Luckily, the entrance to his tent was open, and the candles inside were already lit.
Amanda saw that Hamish was sitting on his cot, winding a damp cloth around a bloody wound on his hand.
Once again, she was struck by his overwhelming masculine beauty.
Handsome was not a big enough word for the symmetry of his strong features and the powerful shape of his body. He was simply magnificent.
Hamish looked up as Amanda entered, then, as if by instinct, she took over the cleaning and bandaging of his hand, amazed as always by its size. She cleared her throat and decided to start the conversation.
“I am so sorry for intruding yesterday,” she murmured as she tied off the bandage.
Hamish passed his free hand over his face and sighed. “You scared me to death, Amanda,” he said.
His voice was deep and throbbing, and for a moment, she thought he was going to weep. Then he looked up at her, the expression in his eyes was one of deep tenderness.
“If anything had happened to you, I…” he broke off, shaking his head, seemingly lost for words.
She could feel it as her heart filled with gratitude for this magnificent, brave warrior. He had gone above and beyond for her, not caring for his own well-being, so long as she was safe. He had not been mad at her for following, but rather for her putting herself in danger.
Their gazes locked, and for a moment, neither could look away.
“Hamish,” Amanda whispered.
Hamish looked down at her mouth, then reached out to draw his thumb along the soft fullness of her lower lip.
He leaned towards Amanda and brushed his lips against hers.
It was such a gentle touch that she should have hardly felt it at all, but it sent a sweet burst of sensation all the way through her.
She let out a soft breath and felt the pressure of his mouth increase, then his hand was on the back of her head pulling her gently towards him as if he did not want her to escape.
Involuntarily, Amanda answered by increasing the force of her own response, losing herself in the passionate sweetness of his mouth on hers.
Hamish was in heaven. He pulled Amanda onto his lap and held her as if he would never let her go.
This was what he had wanted to do almost since the first time he saw her, even when he thought she was working for his brother.
She was the woman he needed in every way, but it had taken him a long time to realise it.
His body knew it now, however. As he drew her closer to him so that they were pressed firmly together, breast to chest, he felt himself stiffen so hard that it was almost painful. Hamish gently parted Amanda’s lips with his tongue and slipped inside her warm mouth so that he could stroke hers.
She froze for a second, then began to imitate him, and he sighed with satisfaction. Eventually, they drew apart and looked at each other, then Hamish smiled and said huskily, “Do you know how long I have wanted to do that?”
“No,” Amanda replied, returning his smile.
“It seems like forever,” he told her tenderly.
“Almost from the first moment I saw you, and when I saw what you could do, and how people respond to you, I wanted to know you better, Amanda. I still do—in every way.” He said the last three words in a tone that left Amanda in no doubt as to what he meant.
“You want to know me?” she murmured. “Hamish, I want you to know me better. I want to be yours so much. Please. Tell me what you want to do.”
Hamish cupped Amanda’s face, gazing into beautiful eyes that were the colour of autumn heather.
“I want to give you so much pleasure, Amanda. I want you to scream my name and beg me not to stop. Tell me, have you been with a man before?”
Amanda shook her head, her cheeks colouring. “No. Never,” she replied softly. “But I want to be… with you.”
Hamish felt a surge of triumph sweep over him. “Then I will be your first lover,” he said tenderly. Then something else occurred to him. “Are you sure, Amanda? Nothing will be the same for you after this.”
Amanda’s voice was warm, but there was a note of desperation in it.
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m certain. I want you. Now. Please don’t keep me waiting any longer.”
She was beginning to feel her own arousal taking over, a feeling of warm moisture and a sweet pulse between her legs. As well as that, the long ridge of Hamish’s erect manhood was pressing against her most sensitive spot, and it was becoming harder and harder for her to stay still.
Hamish kissed her again, and Amanda moaned with pleasure. She had always thought that his lips would be rough and unyielding like the rest of him, but they were soft, mobile, and moist against her own.
When he moved his mouth down to her throat, Amanda tilted her head back to allow him room, then let out a long sigh of delight as he cupped his hands over her breasts and squeezed gently. At once, she felt her nipples harden and become
delightfully sensitive. She let out a soft breath of satisfaction as Hamish began to rub his thumbs over the pebbled peaks.
However, Hamish wanted more. He looked up at Amanda as if seeking permission as he began to undo the buttons at the front of her dress, and he took her eager nod as consent.
She was wearing a tattered chemise underneath, and he undid the drawstring then pulled the two sides apart to reveal her breasts, creamy globes topped by rose pink nipples.