Chapter 2
Not in Kansas anymore
The rushing wind of the vortex died away, and Zach slowly unfurled from his protective stance over Drew.
With a sinking feeling, he took in the familiar landscape around him.
Unending plains of dark red dirt, scraggly trees, and in the distance, the red glow of a lava lake.
Above them glittered a purple sky so dark it was almost black. Yep, they were in Hell.
Fuck.
Drew was staring around with wide eyes, his chicken now clutched against his chest. “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Bilina,” he said to her.
Zach snorted. For a Gen Z, he watched a hell of a lot of older movies.
Drew had explained when Zach had teased him one day that he’d only ever been able to afford to buy DVDs from thrift stores and their collection wasn’t exactly up-to-date.
Zach didn’t mind, since he’d watched pretty much every movie ever made, and if he were honest, movies like Return To Oz were much better than some of the crap they’d made more recently.
“You’d be right,” Zach told Drew.
Drew sighed. “We’re in Hell, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, sweetness. We are.”
“So I’m guessing there are much worse things here than Wheelers?”
“Yeah, there are,” Zach confirmed. “I’m sure you remember Beelzebub and Asmodeus.”
Drew shuddered as he remembered the two demons he’d accidentally summoned last year, and hugged Leila even tighter to himself. “Fuck. We need to get home.” He threw a worried look over at Zach. “Um, how do we get home?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question?
Neither of them were technically demons, so they wouldn’t need to be summoned, but would the magic that prevented demons from escaping Hell also stop them from simply reopening another portal to take them home?
He supposed there was only one way to find out.
“Okay, so maybe just try to open a vortex home,” he suggested.
Drew looked at him with wide-eyed horror. “How?” he demanded.
“I don’t know exactly. Try just willing one into existence.”
Drew glared, but it lost a little of its impact when his floppy brown hair fell into his eyes and he had to brush it away. “That’s not exactly helpful. Are there any other instructions, or is that it?”
Zach shrugged, his eyes darting around to ensure they were still alone. There was no doubt in his mind they’d have disturbed the atmosphere enough to garner attention, and they’d likely be joined by several demons before long.
Sighing, Drew closed his eyes and took a deep breath, finding his centre no doubt. Zach’s ears popped as Drew gathered his power, and he looked on in awed amazement as he usually did when his boyfriend performed magic.
With just over a year’s experience and training under his belt, Drew was still quite insecure about his mastery of his magic.
Yes, it would take years of study to fully control the vast power he possessed, but in truth, he already performed feats that advanced magic users would struggle with.
Neither Zach nor Kensington ever mentioned that to Drew, as they knew he would get self-conscious and it wouldn’t be at all helpful.
They sometimes spoke together regarding it when Drew wasn’t around.
Kensington was determined to recruit Drew to the Nightingale Collective so he could use his powers for the betterment of mankind, and while Zach wasn’t opposed to this, he didn’t want Drew forced into it.
He wanted him to decide on his own, to want to join the Collective.
He’d been so determined to complete his MBA and to stand on his own two feet that Zach never wanted him to resent whatever decision he made about his future.
As Drew gathered more and more power to himself, the hairs on the back of Zach’s arms rose. He cast another worried glance around, sure that this display would be like a beacon to those who resided in this realm. Hell, he knew it would be, because he’d spent over a millennia trapped here.
The familiar didn’t seem too concerned about their predicament.
She sat calmly in Drew’s arms, clasped against his chest, her black eyes locked on his face.
A bead of sweat slid down Drew’s temple, skirting his freckles as it made its way to his chin.
Zach didn’t dare wipe it away, not wanting to distract Drew from his task.
Finally, Drew opened his eyes and intoned loudly and clearly the words, “nusquam pār domui.1”
Zach held his breath, waiting for something to happen.
A frown creased Drew’s brow. “nusquam pār domui!” he repeated.
Nothing.
“Why isn’t it working?” he asked, a note of panic in his voice.
Zach stepped up close to him and rubbed his back soothingly, even as Drew let the magic drain back into his internal well of power. “I have a feeling that whatever keeps demons from leaving here is also stopping us.”
Drew’s eyes widened in horror. “We’re stuck here?” he gasped.
Zach shook his head. “I don’t think so. I just think we need to cross to the borderlands. Only the demons in upper management can get there—lesser demons are prevented from entering them. I think from there, your spell should work.”
Despite their predicament, Drew couldn’t seem to stop smirking at Zach’s habit of referring to higher angels and demons as “upper management.” He was glad he could bring some levity to the situation. “How far away are these borderlands?” Drew asked.
Zach looked around, trying to gauge exactly where they were. Sure, he knew they were in Hell, but he wasn’t familiar with this particular location. “Um . . .” is all he managed.
“Zach?” Drew prompted after he didn’t say anything else. That edge of panic was back and getting sharper.
“I’m not sure exactly how far away we are, but it shouldn’t take us too long,” he assured him.
It looked like it was taking Drew every ounce of willpower not to demand how long “not too long” actually was. “Okay,” he said slowly. “So which way do we go?”
Hesitating for only a second, Zach pointed to the west. “That way.”
“You’re sure?”
Absolutely fucking not. “Of course! Let’s go.”
They’d been walking for half an hour when Zach spotted the first demon approaching. He cursed under his breath and moved so he was in front of Drew.
“What’s wrong?” Drew asked, coming to a halt at his back.
Zach nodded towards the expanse of rocky outcrop to the right of them. “We’ve got company,” he said shortly.
“Fuck,” Drew cursed. “I guess I can’t banish them when we’re the ones on their turf?”
“Yeah, banishing them isn’t going to work.”
“So, what do we do?”
Zach tried not to wince, knowing Drew was going to hate his reply. “There’s nothing else for it. If we can’t talk them into leaving us alone, I’ll have to kill them.”
“What?” Drew cried. “Zach, we can’t kill them!”
“You’re right,” he agreed, never wanting to put Drew in that position again. “We can’t. But I can.”
“Surely there’s another way?” Drew begged.
“Look, I’ll try to convince them to leave us alone, but if I can’t, they’ll try to tear us apart.” Well, they’d try to tear Zach apart. He wouldn’t mention what he thought they’d do to Drew. He had enough to worry about as it was.
It looked like Drew wanted to argue some more, but the demon had almost reached them and there was no more time for talk. “Fuck,” he said again. “Just be careful, okay?”
Zach nodded and took a few steps toward the demon.
He didn’t recognise the beast, so they were likely one of the lower demons, and given their lack of anything resembling a humanoid form, they were surely a bottom feeder.
The more “human-looking” a demon, the higher up the corporate ladder they tended to be.
This was because higher demons could access magic, and over the millennia they had evolved to blend in in the human realm.
The lower demons could only access a tiny bit of magic, or none at all, so their evolutionary journey had been different, and they more resembled the demons of old.
Zach had never actually met the head honcho himself—Lucifer—but he’d seen him from afar, and he looked just like any other human.
If he ran into him on a street on Earth, he’d have no idea he was anything other than a simple human.
The demon fast approaching could never be mistaken for anything but a creature from the depths of Hell.
Their skeletal torso was covered in thick black fur, and their legs ended in cloven hooves.
Two pairs of arms emerged from the shoulder joints, and their crumpled-looking face was dominated by a piglike snout and a large, bushy monobrow that rested above beady black eyes.
They weren’t going to be gracing the cover of People anytime soon, that was for sure.
“That’s close enough,” Zach barked as the demon got within fifteen feet of them. “If you value your life, you’ll stop right there.”
The demon stopped, and then raised its face and sniffed at the air. “Something smells delicious,” they growled in a hoarse, harsh baritone that hurt his ears.
“I’m going to be gracious,” Zach said, ignoring that comment. “I’m going to give you one chance to get the fuck out of here. You take it and live to see another day. You choose to continue this conversation, and the true death starts for you right now.”
The demon’s dark eyes narrowed. “Who are you to come into my realm and make threats? It is not I who will see the true death today, but the both of you.”
Zach sighed. Why was it never fucking easy? “Okay, let’s do this.” He didn’t bother to give the demon any further warning, he simply jumped forward and attacked.
The beast obviously wasn’t expecting Zach to be a man of his word. Perhaps they assumed there’d be more posturing, more threatening, and more beating their chests in a display of dominance? Whatever it was they were expecting, even after Zach had been very clear in his promise, it wasn’t this.
Zach’s first blow collided with the demon’s cheek and sent its head snapping backward.
They stumbled, and their four arms windmilled to keep themselves upright.
Zach didn’t hesitate but followed through with an uppercut that sent the beast crashing to the dirt.
He pounced, pinning the demon down with his knees and began pummeling their face with his fists.
“What the fuck?” the demon bellowed between broken teeth after they finally managed to block a punch and get enough momentum to shove Zach off them.
“I warned you,” Zach growled, leaping to his feet immediately. “You didn’t listen.”
“I didn’t think you were serious!” they cried, their once hoarse and gravelly voice going up several octaves.
Zach’s boot connected with the demon’s hairy ribs, causing them to cry out in pain. “No, you’re only reconsidering now because I’m kicking your ass,” he snapped, kicking out again but missing as the beast scrambled backwards.
“Okay, so maybe you’re right,” the demon admitted, their black eyes wide with true fear. “But give me a break, man. It’s not like I really have a choice, you know? You two clearly don’t belong here, so I gotta confront you.”
Zach knew this was true. He knew the bottom feeders had shitty lives that were an almost constant fight for survival.
If they put one toe, hoof, or claw out of line, they were severely punished.
His sympathy welled up, but he quickly put a lid on it.
He’d been generous by even giving the demon a warning.
If he didn’t follow through, he may as well make a giant fucking neon sign to carry over their heads that said “Easy pickings.”
He was just about to advance for another round, to finish it once and for all, when Drew’s quiet voice stopped him. “Zach, please don’t do this.”
He angled his body so he could look at Drew but also keep an eye on the demon. “Sweetness, if we don’t put them down now, they’ll dog our steps the entire way to the borderlands. I gotta keep you safe, and I’ll do whatever it takes to do that.”
“You’re going to the borderlands?” the demon exclaimed, a glimmer of hope flickering in their eyes.
“Yes,” Zach said curtly.
“Oh, well, that changes everything!” they cried. “If you’re on your way out of here, I’m not gonna stop you from leaving!”
Zach regarded them for a long moment, but eventually shook his head. “I can’t trust you.”
“I swear I won’t follow you,” the demon vowed. “I’ll even show you a shortcut! It’ll save you a whole day!”
Drew stepped up beside Zach and touched his arm. “I really don’t want you to have to kill anyone,” he said. “Can’t we give them a chance? They might surprise you.”
The demon began nodding vigorously. “Yes, yes, I’m full of surprises. In fact, surprise is my middle name! It’s definitely a good idea to give me a chance.”
Zach raised a brow in disbelief. “Demons don’t have middle names.”
“My mother was very alternative,” the demon said quickly. “She was a very trustworthy demon.”
Zach snorted. He knew he’d regret this, but Drew was giving him a bad case of the big doe eyes, pleading with him to show mercy.
“Fine,” he snapped. “But this is the only chance you get. If you go back on your word and come after us again, or send anyone else after us, I will not hesitate to rip all four of your arms off and shove them so far up your ass you’ll be able to tickle your tonsils with your claws. ”
“Yes, yes, understood,” the demon agreed, nodding manically once more. “I have places to be, things to do. You won’t see or hear from me again.”
“I better not.”
The beast scrambled to its hooves and began to back away.
“Not so fast,” Zach said, stopping them before they could get more than a few feet away.
The demon turned back to look at him almost comically slowly, their eyes wide and round as if expecting to have the rug pulled out from under them. “Yes?”
Zach ignored the look Drew was giving him. “So, you said something about a shortcut?”
1. 'There's no place like home'