Chapter Seventeen
Rosemary brushed her hands on her apron. “Thank you so much for coming. Enjoy.” It was seven o’clock, and she’d just served the last helping of food rescued from the diner’s freezer. She was so happy to have been a part of the project helping folks following the hurricane, and she was sad that it was over.
In the last few days, she’d been as busy as she was back home on the macadamia farm with Kai. Home. Would she ever consider Nina’s house home? She felt like a visitor there. Like she needed to be somewhere else but she didn’t know where she belonged. Here, on Whelk’s Island, was the closest she’d felt to being at home since she lost Kai.
Not like a “pillow to lay your head on” home, but a part of a community that appreciated her help. She hadn’t cooked for that many people in her whole life, so she followed Tug’s lead, and it all worked out.
It reminded her of the times she and Kai would put on a big meal for everyone who was helping with the harvest. Tired and dusty from a long day, the group always looked forward to sharing a good meal—a well-deserved break. She cherished those days with Kai. Surprisingly, instead of sadness, the memory filled her with a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time.
She helped clean up and then shook out her apron and folded it neatly on the table. Tug was stacking empty trays into a box for the trash.
She walked toward him. “I’m going to miss teaming up with you each day, Tug.”
“It’s been really nice. Thank you for your help and the tweaks for the recipes. You’re a good cook.”
“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I bet Kathleen will be happy to have you freed back up for your visit,” he said.
“Oh, we’ve been catching up in the mornings and in the wee hours. We’re like schoolgirls reminiscing about boys and cheerleading. Stuff high school girls’ dreams were made of.”
“Uh-oh. You’re not going to put together a seniors’ cheerleader group, are you?”
“Hardly.”
Tug pretended he was relieved. “Kathleen is nice.”
“She speaks rather highly of you too. And your pretty blue eyes. Oh gosh, she goes on and on about your blue eyes.”
He blushed.
“Tug, I believe you’re blushing. Never would’ve seen that coming.”
He tugged on his ball cap and averted his eyes. “How long do you plan to stay?”
“No idea. Originally, I’d planned to come and stay with Kathleen for a few days and then head down to St. Augustine to visit another friend, Patty, for a week, but when the storm came through, Patty’s daughter summoned her to California. I think they are doing a Napa wine tour or something. So I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Napa. I bet it’s pretty.”
“Supposed to be, but beauty is relative. I mean, I lived in Hawaii. It’s hard to beat that, but every place I’ve ever been has its own kind of beauty. Its own story to tell if you just give it an ear and listen to it.”
“Never really thought of that. I’ve lived here my whole life. Started out crabbing as a kid, then a commercial fisherman, then the diner, and, well, there really aren’t any days off when you’re in business for yourself.”
“That is true, but you’ve never taken time to explore? To travel a little?”
“Never.”
“Have you ever thought about it?”
Tug looked a little surprised by the question. “You know what? I’m not sure I ever slowed down long enough to think about it.”
“Well, my friend, time doesn’t wait for anyone. If there’s something you want to see or do, don’t put it off too long. Life has a way of sneaking up on you—and trust me, I’ve learned that the hard way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I’m going to leave you with some homework tonight. You sit back and think about where you’d like to go. You owe yourself a little journey. Doesn’t have to be far. Doesn’t even have to be expensive. How about the mountains? There are beautiful mountains just a few hours from here.”
“You got a side hustle from the tourism department?”
“No, but wouldn’t that be a fun job? I’ll keep it in mind.” She was teasing, though. At her age, she wasn’t looking for a job. Not the nine-to-five kind anyway—just a purpose. “Well, it’s been pretty wonderful helping you. I hope this won’t be our last little get-together. I would love to just sit and talk one day while I’m here if you have the time.”
“I think that might be nice.”
“Can I expect a text or call from you, then? You still have my number, right?”
“I do.”
“Good.” She waited a moment, hoping for an invitation, but when one didn’t come, she smiled and turned away.
“Hey, I’ve got a magnificent view of the ocean at my house,” Tug said. “If they clear me to get back in, maybe we could sit outside and have that friendly chat. I can show off my oceanfront property, which is now smaller than it used to be.”
“And those artsy truck stepping stones to the front door?”
“Yes. You definitely have to see that to believe it. Insurance company hasn’t even called me back on that yet, but I figure the people that have no way to get around need priority over me right now.”
“Maybe, but I wouldn’t let them push you to the back of the line either. It needs to be taken care of. One less thing burdening you. You’ve been through a lot. It’s quite a loss to lose your business. Don’t underestimate the impact that will have on you, Tug. You’ll grieve that loss. Heck, you had the business twice as long as the average marriage lasts these days.”
They shared a laugh.
“Yeah, it’s a disposable world these days,” Tug said with a hint of regret. “I was still using some of the very first pots I ever bought for the diner.”
“That does not surprise me at all.” She walked over, stretching her arms out. “I’m a hugger. Always have been.”
He allowed her to step close and wrap her arms around him. He held her tight, as if they’d known each other forever.
“A hui hou,” she whispered and pressed a friendly kiss on his cheek.
“I know aloha is ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye,’ but I’m not familiar with that one.”
She winked. “It means ‘until we see each other again.’?”
“I like that. A hui hou.” It sounded more like a bird calling when he said it, but close enough.
She turned and left, hoping they would indeed see each other again. He was easy to be around, and she felt more like herself this week than she had, well, since Kai had died, and that was going on four years now.
The next morning, Rosemary was up with the sunrise as she usually was. Kathleen was more likely to lounge around until nine o’clock. So Rosemary busied herself in the kitchen making a quiche, which would serve up just as nicely later, whenever Kathleen rolled out of bed.
Rosemary poured a cup of coffee, then dropped a dash of cinnamon into it. A smidge of cinnamon carried a brightness that reminded her of the local coffee back in Hawaii. She carried her coffee out onto the porch and sat in one of the rocking chairs. Kathleen must’ve put the cushions away when the storm came. She wiggled until she found a comfortable way tosit.
The morning sun was bright. Seagulls flew above, occasionally calling out to one another in what sounded like laughter.
In the distance, heavy equipment rumbled, already at work redistributing sand from the roads back to the dunes, where it belonged.
She’d only caught a glimpse of the town before the storm. She felt bad for Tug. The reports about his diner were bad. That part of town was the last to get reopened, and from what she’d heard, they were still clearing sand.
She hadn’t seen for herself what was left of the diner, and somehow it felt wrong to go and be a lookie-loo when it was such a terrible loss for Tug. She couldn’t even imagine. Big storms had ruined the crop a few times over the years, forcing her and Kai to pick up the pieces and start again, but that was a seasonal impact. Apparently the diner was beyond repair.
Rosemary’s cellphone buzzed, startling her. Seeing it was Nina again, she silenced it. Last night Nina had left a scathing voicemail telling her it was time for her to get home. It felt like a demand for compliance, and Rosemary had never been one to appreciate an ultimatum.
Did I make a mistake leaving Hawaii? No. Even with the profit she’d made on selling the farm, it would be a stretch to afford starting over there. She knew in her heart that location wasn’t the issue.
She had no intention of talking to Nina until she figured out her next move. The problem was, she wasn’t entirely sure who she was without Kai. For so long, they’d been a team—a solid, unshakable one.
Untangling herself from the perfect duo they’d been felt like trying to unbraid her very identity. Some days, it seemed like the best parts of her had vanished with him, leaving her adrift.
A faint rustling broke through her thoughts. She turned to see Kathleen stepping out the door, her turquoise-and-white beachy-patterned pajamas catching the porch light. Barefoot, Kathleen grinned and sniffed the air dramatically.
“Exactly how is a girl supposed to get her beauty rest with something that smells this delicious coming from my kitchen? It’s like heaven’s moved in.”
“It’s a quiche. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I thought it would heat up nicely whenever you decided to get out of bed.”
“I think it smells too good to even let it cool down,” she said with a hearty laugh. “I’ll grab a cup of coffee and join you.”
“Great.” Beeping sounded from inside. “Oh, that’s the timer. It’s done.” Rosemary followed Kathleen back into the house and silenced the oven timer.
While Kathleen fixed her coffee, Rosemary served slices of the warm quiche on dessert plates.
“Looks like pie,” Kathleen said. “Breakfast of champions.”
“It’s healthy.”
“I wasn’t complaining. I like pie.”
“Who doesn’t?” Rosemary commented as she took a seat.
“It’s so fun spending time with you. Isn’t it great how we can catch up just like that?” Kathleen said with a snap of her fingers.
“It is. Thank you for letting me come, with the hurricane and all. I really needed this time.”
“Well, you haven’t done much relaxing. You’ve done more work for my community this week than I have the past few years.”
“You’ve been busy helping neighbors. I’ve enjoyed lending a hand up at Paws. It felt good to feel like I was needed again. It’s been a while since I felt like that.”
“I’m sure your daughter appreciates you. Kids just don’t show it when it’s their parents helping out. Mine are the same way. Why is that? We must’ve done something wrong raising them.”
“No idea. I did the best I could at the time. I’d have done a lot of things different with a lifetime of lessons under my belt.”
“Exactly. We have kids before we even know how to live our lives. We’re hardly equipped to raise ourselves.”
“Amen!” Rosemary lifted her coffee. “I think with losing Kai, I’m more sensitive now to it, ya know? He always made me feel appreciated. I think it’s probably more me than Nina, and me missing Kai.” She hadn’t realized that until just now.
“Our grief comes out in a lot of ways,” Kathleen said. “I’m sure a big part of me being on the go-go-go all the time is unresolved loneliness. Being a widow ain’t easy.”
“No, it’s not, but I’m going to try to be more aware.”
“All of this mess going on with the cleanup is a little overwhelming for some folks too.” Kathleen shifted the topic.
“Of course. You got really lucky.”
“For sure, but some neighbors you met from the party before the storm are talking about heading inland. No solid plan. Maybe a day or two. I might go if the insurance guy comes about the fence before they leave. You should come! There’s shopping and we’ll hit the casino—a chance to unwind and get away from all this mess until they clean it up.”
Casinos weren’t Rosemary’s style, and since she was living in one little room, she had no room for frivolous shopping excursions. “I don’t know. I barely know them.”
“That didn’t stop you from volunteering at Paws all week,” Kathleen replied, a little annoyed.
“That’s different.” Rosemary wasn’t quite sure how to say it without hurting Kathleen’s feelings any further.
“Well, you think about it. If you don’t want to go, we won’t go. I’d have to kennel Prissy, anyway. I wonder if Paws is taking in new reservations yet.”
“I didn’t think people kenneled cats. Aren’t they self-sufficient?”
“They are, but I would never leave her all alone. She’d be sad,” Kathleen said. “By the way, I invited the neighbors over for dinner tonight. It’s just five of us, plus you. We’ll be discussing the trip, and you’ll hear how much fun we’ll have. You’ll want to go.”
Rosemary’s insides sank. “Or you could go and I’ll stay here to meet the insurance guy and take care of Prissy.”
“That’s no fun.”
“Well, actually, it would give me some time to figure out my situation with Nina before I go back.”
Kathleen made a noise like a cat throwing up a hair ball. “I can’t believe she left you that message. I’d have blessed her out then and there. Who does she think she is?”
“I’m sure in her mind she’s being helpful.”
“Pisses me off, and she’s not even my daughter,” Kathleen said.
“That’s why I need some time to think things through. How can I be mad, when I don’t even know what I want?”
“You really haven’t dealt with the loss of Kai,” Kathleen said. “I mean, yes, you buried the sweet man, and you sold the farm, but you have to rediscover you, and let me tell you from my own experience losing my sweet Stu that I am still shocked who I turned out to be.”
Rosemary almost blew coffee out of her nose. “Why would you say that? You seem just like the Kathleen I knew.”
“Maybe, but that’s not the Kathleen I was as a married woman. I’d grown and changed and in some cases sidelined things that used to be important to me, because they didn’t fit into my married life. I’m not saying that was a problem. I didn’t mind those compromises, but I found it to be a new opportunity. A thrilling one. You’re right. You need some time.”
Rosemary pressed her lips together.
Kathleen stood. “I’m going to go, and you are going to stay right here and do some self-examination. I’ve got some books.” She marched inside, came out with a stack of four, and shoved them in Rosemary’s direction.
“Oh my goodness.” Rosemary flipped through the titles. “Apparently it takes a lot of reading to do that.”
“Well, you might hate a couple of them. I did, but at least one will resonate. I’m sure of it, but don’t just lock yourself in this house. It’s been four years. We’re old, but we ain’t dead, and there is still plenty we can do. And should do! You need to get out and meet people. Make friends. Fall in love. I can get you on the dating app.”
“No. No, thank you,” Rosemary said, shrinking back. “One step at a time. I’m not ready for online dating. Kai has barely been gone…”
“He’s been gone four years.” Kathleen filled in the blank.
“Three years, eleven months, and—”
“Whatever.” Kathleen waved a hand in the air. “Long enough. It’s more than acceptable to go out by now. You have to move on, honey. Our time doesn’t go on forever. I see your mouth opening. Don’t argue. Just take what I said and let it sink in. Come on. We are going for a walk on the beach.”
“I’m going to meet Amanda later today to do that.”
“Well, you can do it twice. Come on. Whelk’s Island has the best figuring-out-life sand in the world.”
Probably not better than Hawaii. But Rosemary allowed herself to be pulled from the chair and ordered to change into something beach-worthy.
Kathleen, tall and willowy, walked out in a flowy skirt over a tank bathing suit.” Come on. I’m driving. I’ve got a favorite spot.”
Rosemary had forgotten how inadequate she felt next to Kathleen back in high school, but that feeling sprang forth as if they were both seventeen again. Rosemary, dressed in a loose cotton dress and water shoes, shoved the ridiculous thought aside.
Funny how old thoughts can pop up out of nowhere even though they hold no value any longer.
She was completely comfortable with herself, and at this age it wouldn’t do any good not to be. She silently apologized to her seventeen-year-old self for not having been wiser back then and focused on how excited she was to go to Kathleen’s favorite spot on the beach.