Chapter Fourteen
Shaw House
Portman Square
Mayfair, London
Dear heavens, today is my wedding day.
Eloise’s nerves felt strung too tight while knots of worry pulled in her belly. She glanced across the narrow aisle at her father. “Do you truly believe me marrying the duke is a mistake?”
“I have already voiced my opinion on this multiple times.” A huff of frustration escaped him as he stared back.
The sound of rain on the carriage’s roof worked to soothe her anxiety.
“However, you are determined in this, and since I want you taken care of and to have a future, I suppose wedding the duke is as good as anyone else.”
“Yet you think he is a terrible person.” She had her own qualms regarding that, of course, for he hadn’t told her everything from his past, but she could only imagine.
“Since I haven’t seen that evidence with my own eyes, I hesitate to say. However, the rumors hold that he’s done terrible things, and being a spy is one of them.” His eyes were kind in the gloom. “Beyond that, he kidnapped you, Eloise, made you do unspeakable things…”
Heat went through her cheeks. “But he has also done some lovely things.” She’d told him of the painting supplies and the morning room the day before.
“You hardly know him. He could have a temper. He could drink to excess. He might prove a womanizer.” Her father shrugged. In his formal attire, he was still an attractive man. Why he didn’t wish to marry again, she couldn’t fathom. “No doubt there are secrets about him you don’t know.”
“I have secrets as well, Papa.” That was one of the things that drew her to James despite everything. They were much alike in that, and his struggles made her feel not so alone.
“You wanted to enact revenge on him. Do you truly think you have a future with the man who killed your last fiancé?”
Fair question. “I don’t know.” If she felt that James hadn’t killed Jean-Claude, she didn’t know why other than it was an intuition. “He is helping me to feel things again,” she admitted in a soft voice. “After all the deaths, after the horrors of the war, I needed that so much.”
Her father reached across and took her hand as the carriage rocked to a halt in front of the duke’s townhouse. “As long as you are confident the duke is who you want, I won’t offer protest… much.” He grinned. “But if he hurts you at all…”
“I know, and I appreciate your protection.”
They were quickly ushered inside, for which Eloise was grateful; she hadn’t wished to spoil her gown with the rain.
Once they’d shed their outerwear, the butler showed her father into the drawing room, for the ceremony would begin in an hour and apparently a few select guests were already assembling.
However, before she could follow, the duke came out of what she assumed was his study and met her in the entry hall.
“James…” His sudden presence startled her, and she used his given name instead of his title.
“You look… magnificent.” In his dark formal tailcoat and a waistcoat of gold brocade, he was perfection.
Which reminded her that she’d yet to see him fully naked.
A ruby stickpin winked from the snowy folds of his cravat, stark against the white, like blood.
When he offered her a small grin, he was every inch the handsome—dare she say playful—man about Town. “You are quite lovely yourself.” His darkened gaze roved up and down her person. “That light blue silk was a good choice.”
“Thank you. The modiste was exceptional… as you’ll see on the bill when she sends it along to you.
” Every step she took, the silk was cool against her skin, but what she adored about the gown was the low, scooped bodice that was lined with hundreds of tiny clear, glass beads.
They were also scattered over the skirt.
A light wool shawl in an ivory color completed the ensemble, for there was a chill in the air.
His gaze lingered on her décolletage before he nodded. “I’d like to speak privately to you before the ceremony. Will you come to my study?”
“Of course.” Quickly, she followed him along the corridor, and when he popped into the room he’d come from, it was confirmed as his study. “What did you wish to discuss?”
“You.” No sooner did the door close behind them than he caught her in his arms and kissed her with his customary intensity.
Immediately, familiar desire and need swirled around her, for the duke was quite potent, but she planted her palms against his chest and pushed him a bit away. “I know what you’re doing.”
“I should hope so. Kissing is rather obvious.”
She couldn’t help but snort in amusement. “Be serious. I know what this day is all about.”
A look of bemusement crossed his face. “Considering you aren’t a stupid woman, I would assume so.”
Standing a bit away, she planted her hands on her hips. “You’re doing this because you’re a coward.” The delivery of the statement was a bit abrupt, but she didn’t care. It stemmed from genuine concern for him.
A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. “What the devil do you mean?”
“You’re planning to leave this mortal coil in the very near future; it’s in your very attitude, the things you’re saying.” She shook her head. “That’s why you want this rushed wedding, so it might assuage your guilt.”
“Gammon.” He tried to close the distance between them, but she retreated until the massive desk prevented further movement. “I want the wedding ceremony because I would like you settled and to prevent further gossip.” His gaze bore into hers. “I’m fucking trying to protect you.”
Her heartbeat accelerated. “Yet you plan to leave me a widow before I have enjoyed being a wife. That is incredibly selfish of you.” The fear of that lodged in her chest, crept into her throat as a ball of unshed tears.
Emotions flitted through his eyes, some inscrutable. “There are times when it’s unbearable to be in this world, Elli. You must understand that.”
Tears prickled the backs of her eyelids. “While I do, removing yourself from it is not the answer. Do you not think I’ll mourn for you? Curse your name into the void?”
His lips twitched, but he didn’t fully grin. “Isn’t it enough that I’m doing this? That I’m giving you practically the world in marrying you?”
“No, frankly.” She glared at him. “I’ve agreed to wed you because I want you. Whether you believe it or not, you are enough and you are worthy of having a future for yourself.”
Why couldn’t he see that?
“I… Well, damn.” Then he was there, pinned her between the hard wall of his chest and the edge of the desk, and he kissed her. As he lifted her briefly while moving his mouth over hers, he planted her backside on his desk, scattering papers and a couple of ledgers.
“James, we can’t…” Her blood both heated and chilled upon seeing him, for he was devastatingly handsome in his dark evening attire. The silver thread on his golden satin waistcoat glimmered in the dim light from one of the candles that had been left burning.
“We will if I wish it. I am far too restless and rumpled in spirit to stand docilely in the drawing room talking about things that don’t matter.”
“Oh.” She could scarcely breathe; his presence was far too large for the small space, and it seemed as if he filled every portion of it.
“What do you want, then?” If she were honest with herself, she should have attempted to get away from him, leave the room, put space between them because it was their wedding day and she didn’t want her gown or hair mussed, but the craving to feel his lips on hers was too great to ignore.
He leaned his body into hers, settled himself between her naturally splayed legs, effectively trapping her.
“I want you, Elli. Laid out on my desk, I want every part of you, to lose myself in you until I’m drunk on what we have between us.
” Every whispered word sent heated breath sailing along her cheek.
“Until the fear I see in my future subsides.” Though the desire in his dark eyes was all too clear, confusion lined his face.
“To be honest, you are what has kept me here this long.”
Here meaning the study or in the world? She was too much a coward to ask.
“But, I…” It didn’t matter that she craved his touch, his kiss, his notice.
As she tipped back her head, he dipped his down, and with her every word, their lips nearly touched.
“We don’t have time for this, and I refuse to arrive at the ceremony looking like a harlot. ”
“Do you think to order me about?” The duke pulled her closer then eased a hand beneath her skirting as he lifted one of her legs. “God, this is madness what we’ve found together in such a short period of time.”
“In this moment, I quite agree.” Before she could say anything further, he claimed her lips in a searing kiss that made every portion of her body feel more alive than she’d ever been.
Those fires in her blood he’d ignited became molten rivers of need, and she gasped at the intensity of need sparking between them…
binding them together. She looped her arms about his shoulders and clung to him without a shred of decency or decorum as she returned that embrace with the hope of more to come.
There was no going back. For better or for worse. They would wed within the hour.
“You are a siren,” he whispered while taking her more comfortably in his arms and teasing her—torturing her—with kisses that hinted at exactly what he wished to do next.
“Only because I don’t bow and kowtow to your title, and I fight back.”
“You are like no one I’ve ever met; the only woman not to want anything from me except… me.”
“We cannot both be driven insane, so either continue this interlude, for my nerves are already frayed or stop.” Her commonsense fled along with propriety, for she dragged her lips beneath the sharp line of his jaw, licked a path along the strong column of his throat merely to imprint his taste and scent upon herself as a consolation for when he would leave her in his insane quest to leave this mortal coil.