Chapter Fourteen #2
“Elli, when I—”
“No. I refuse to hear you say that now.” Or ever. Tears sounded in her voice.
“We can’t ignore it.”
“Don’t mar our wedding day.” She shook from the force of the emotions trapped within her.
“Fine.” A groan issued from him as he drew his palms up her sides to cup her breasts.
“Then let us indulge in something more pleasant.” James held her breasts, squeezed them, teased her nipples through the fabric of her gown until she whimpered with anticipation.
“Rather desperate, aren’t you?” he whispered when she arched her back.
“With you? Yes,” she said on the heels of a gasp while he yanked the bodice of her gown down to bare her breasts.
“I fear you will be my destruction.” Especially since she lost herself in him each time they were together.
When he stimulated her nipples, intense sensations streaked from her breasts to her core.
“Touch me. Please.” If that made her a wanton, then so be it.
“I adore that begging,” he murmured and gave her nipples a quick pinch. When a sound that was a mix of a gasp and a moan escaped her, he chuckled. “I would love to hear you do much more of that for many other things, but perhaps that should be saved for tonight… when we consummate our marriage.”
“Yes, I suppose that is true.” Already, they were tempting fate here where anyone could come upon them.
Yet in an odd sort of way, there was a certain freedom she’d found in him, and it was far too heady indeed.
Her head lolled onto her shoulder. “We should stop. Someone will come looking for you or me soon.” A shiver racked her being while he continued to manipulate those aching buds.
“I am a duke, and they can’t start without either of us,” he whispered into her ear and followed that with a light nip to her lobe.
Once he’d urged her arms behind, he caught her wrists in one hand and cupped a breast with the other.
“Would there was time to see you naked or tied to a piece of furniture with a blindfold.” He nibbled a path along the column of her throat, licked and nipped her breasts, teased her with his hot breath on her skin.
“Oh…” She expelled a soft moan when he teased her nipple with his tongue and teeth. “My God, but I want to take you into my mouth…” Never had she done that before, but perhaps the duke was the perfect candidate.
“Tonight. I promise.” He kissed her again, lingered at her mouth, before he pulled away. “You are flushed and gorgeous just now.”
“Right.” Eloise nodded. She set about putting her gown to rights, to smoothing the wrinkles and patting her hair back into place. “After we speak vows to each other, you’ll belong to me, Blackhawk,” she whispered. “I will not let you go as easily as you think.”
I’m going to fight to keep you in this world.
He glanced at her oddly. “Ah, then you will cast a bind spell on me?” A hint of teasing remained in his voice.
One of her eyebrows rose. “I will if you make me.” There had to be a way she could reach him that would convince this broken, lost man he was worth fighting for.
That they were.
Eloise roved her gaze over her father and the scant few other guests. Of course, her father was the only person she recognized in the room aside from the duke. An older couple sat on one of the low sofas, and she wondered who they were to the duke.
Turning to Blackhawke as he stood at the window, she asked in a barely audible whisper, “Do I look as if I’ve been thoroughly kissed not a quarter of an hour past?”
His lips curved in a soft grin. “Not a bit of it. You are flushed with excitement with anticipation in your eyes. And I can’t wait to do wicked things to do you tonight.” Then his expression changed. “Ah, that must be the clergyman.”
When she turned about, it was in time to see two men of average height coming into the room. Both were dressed in smart, dark suits. The older man had graying black hair while the younger one had red hair.
“Good morning,” the older one said. “I am Mr. Cope, and this is Mr. Yates. He will take care of the registry and everything having to do with the paperwork while I conduct the ceremony.”
The duke cleared his throat. “I’m the Duke of Blackhawke. This is Miss March, my fiancée.”
Mr. Cope nodded as he took a worn copy of the Book of Common Prayer from the younger man. “If you are ready, we can go ahead and start.”
“Thank you. I don’t believe we’re expecting any other guests.” The duke peered down at her. “Do you need a moment?”
“No.” She shook her head and laid a shaking hand on his arm. “We should start.”
“Of course.” Mr. Cope cleared his throat then addressed the room at large. “His Grace would like to get underway, so if everyone could settle, please?”
Fabric rustled and whispered words filled the air as guests made themselves comfortable.
As best she could, Eloise tamped her worries and hoped to concentrate on the imminent ceremony. She glanced at her father, who flashed her a tight smile. That didn’t relieve the nerves that still bothered her.
The clergyman opened his book then tapped a folded piece of paper. “I have the special license here, Your Grace. Thank you for attending to the details. You would be surprised at how many couples are not prepared.”
Hysterical laughter rose in her throat, for she wasn’t prepared in the least, but she swallowed down the urge to release the sound. Could any woman truly be prepared when faced with the odd and uncertain future she was?
Mr. Cope tucked the paper deeper into his book.
Leather cracked when he opened his Book of Common Prayer to the page he wanted.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this gathering, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church… ”
The clergyman’s words faded as worry intruded into her thoughts.
Have I made the right decision? After all, she and the duke barely knew each other.
In total, they had spent a week together.
That wasn’t enough to build a foundation for any sort of relationship.
Yet I’ve shared very intimate things with him in that same timeframe.
She watched the clergyman’s lips move but the words were lost in the fog of worry shrouding her brain.
Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would marry after she’d lost Jean-Claude, yet here she stood beside a man who was a stranger, a man who’d heard her story of the struggle and shame she’d been through, a man who didn’t judge her for what had happened, a man who smelled so delicious she could hardly concentrate, a man who had chosen to protect and provide for when he didn’t need to…
A sense of security came over her. Perhaps this union wouldn’t prove the disaster she feared.
But he needs to stay with me in this world.
It wasn’t until Blackhawke discreetly cleared his throat that she ceased her wool-gathering and attended to what the clergyman said as he addressed her soon-to-be-husband.
“Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded Wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”
Eloise trembled. How could she not? This was life changing.
What sort of man would he prove to be when he wasn’t trying to charm her?
Would he change once they were wed? There was no way to know simply by looking at him, so she held her breath held in anticipation as her heart raced.
And if he truly planned to leave this mortal coil, wasn’t he already lying during these vows?
In a clear voice, the duke answered, “I will.”
Her hands shook as the clergyman addressed her.
“Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded Husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I…” What of her future? If she was already carrying his babe, would he leave her to raise the child by herself?
Then she straightened her spine. Eloise squeezed her fingers upon James’ arm.
No matter what, she would manage just as she’d always done…
but she might curse him into eternity. “I will.” Her answer came out in a whisper, for tears crowded her throat.
This was such a pinnacle moment. I wish my mother was here to witness it.
A wave of grief slammed into her, for she felt her mother’s loss hard in that moment.
Of course, her mother would have said to follow her heart.
Does my heart want him for the right reasons?
The duke was instructed to take her right hand in his right one, and hers shook so badly that he gently squeezed her fingers. He went so far as to put his lips to her ear and whispered, “I promise everything will be well, Elli. You’ll be a duchess, and can do whatever the hell you want.”
What was the point without him? “You won’t leave me?” Which was one of the core reasons for doing this. Why was everything so convoluted?
A muscle in his cheek twitched. “I can’t make that promise, and you know it. Being consumed by darkness and ennui is… difficult and unpredictable.”
“Don’t do anything rash right out of the gate.
” Eloise smiled lest he think she looked upon the ceremony with dread.
This was the most difficult thing she’d ever done in her life, and oddly, she wanted to help him and hoped he would do the same for her.
“Thank you for this opportunity,” she continued to whisper.
“It is something we both need,” he said with a nod. “You will want for nothing.”
What if all I want is you?