Chapter 32 Rowen
ROWEN
Idon’t remember slamming the door, but the sound still rings in my ears. The hallway shudders with it. By the time I hit the back porch, my lungs are already heaving, my pulse hammering so hard it hurts. The air outside is sharp and cold, and I drag it in like it might wash the fury out of me.
It doesn’t.
My skin’s too tight, my wolf clawing under it, demanding release. The tether between me and Tobias vibrates with every breath—alive, pulsing, infuriating. I can feel his guilt, his confusion, his fear. And underneath all of it, that cursed brand pressing through the bond like a parasite.
I hit the ground hard, paws sinking into mud. The woods explode around me—wet earth, pine, the metallic tang of my own rage. I run. Branches whip against my fur. Every step a snarl, every breath a growl. I don’t think. I can’t. The fury burns too hot to contain.
Sage and Grant catch up within minutes. I hear their paws pounding behind me, steady and strong.
Sage calls through the pack link, his voice edged with worry. Rowen, slow down.
I ignore him.
Rowen. His voice sharpens. You’re going to hurt yourself.
I slow to a stop in a small clearing, chest heaving, claws digging trenches in the earth. What do you even want? Leave me alone, Sage.
Grant reaches me first, standing ten feet away, almost like he’s afraid to get any closer.
Sage walks right by him, coming up to me. I snarl at him, but he doesn’t back down. Almost like he knows I need to let it off my chest.
He’s bonded to him, I spit, the words tasting like blood. That bastard branded my mate, and now… it’s not just a mark! It’s a fucking bond! He’s in his fucking head!
Grant exhales. We don’t know what that means yet.
I growl at him. It means he’s MINE! Whenever we find the vamp, he’s mine! And Tobias— My throat tightens and I turn away. I just wish he’d told me.
Sage sits in front of me. He’s scared, Rowen. You felt that.
I don’t care if he’s scared. The lie burns before it even leaves me. He should’ve told me! I can’t protect him if he keeps secrets like this.
Sage whines. You really think knowing would’ve stopped what happened?
It could’ve!
Maybe, but maybe not. We didn’t know Rip was shifting into a raven. His voice drops low. Fear doesn’t erase instinct, Ro. It twists it. Tobias thought he was protecting you somehow. He didn’t hide this because he wanted to hurt you.
I know that! I snap at him. Birds scatter, startled by the sound. But it doesn’t make it any easier to stand there and watch him. He’s been suffering right in front of me. Refusing to let me in. And to see that mark on him, someone else’s mark? When Toby won’t even let me claim him?
The last few words come out like a whine, pain ripping through me.
Sage doesn’t move. He knows this kind of fury. Knows the way it coils in your gut until it eats you alive. It’s also why you’re feeling everything so intensely; remember that.
His blunt honesty just enrages me further. Doesn’t he think I know that? I know it’s the mate bond making me feel like a live wire. My wolf doesn’t understand why we haven’t claimed Tobias yet. But there’s not much I can do about it until Tobias wants it.
Shifting, I slam my fist into a nearby tree. My knuckles crack, yet I pound it again and again until I smell blood. It doesn’t help. Nothing does.
Sage shifts too, shuddering from the sudden chill. “You’re not angry at the tree, Ro.”
“No fucking shit, Sherlock.” I thrust a hand toward the house. “I’m angry at him. At Rip. At every fucking thing!”
The words hang there, ugly and untrue. I’m not really angry with Tobias. I’m just… hurt. I press my forehead to the bark, trying to breathe. “I’m angry because I couldn’t stop it. I’m angry because Ivy is hurt, and Tobias—” My voice breaks. “He’s blaming himself. I can feel it.”
Through the bond, Tobias’s guilt bleeds through me like smoke, thick and suffocating. It pulses like knives against my ribs. Is he still with the others? Alone? I have no clue.
Grant changes forms too, leaning against a nearby tree. “He’s still adjusting, though. This thing between you—between all of us, really—it’s new to him. Toby has never had a pack to think about.”
“Doesn’t matter.” I push off the tree, my claws itching under my skin. “I still feel it, the need to protect him. He’s mine, Grant. My fated one. That means his safety is my responsibility.”
“That’s bullshit. He’s all of ours. He’s one of us now.”
I turn away. He doesn’t get it.
“Grant is right,” Sage says, surprising me. “Being fated doesn’t separate us from the pack. If anything, it gives us a bigger reason to fight. You don’t get to control who it chooses for you. You just get to choose if you accept it.”
“I have accepted it from the moment I realized it, Sage. He’s the one who hasn’t.”
“That’s not true.” Sage steps closer. “Tobias has embraced it just as easily as you. He’s still living with his past, though. The things he’s been through? They’re a part of him.”
“How can I protect him from that? He’s not supposed to live through it again!” My voice cracks. “He’s supposed to be safe here—with me, with all of us. If Rip can get in his head… fuck!” I punch the tree again.
It hits me then why Tobias kept this from me—the whispers. He knew I’d want to protect him. And I can’t. Not from this.
Sage’s gaze softens. “The bond means you have a bigger reason to live. It doesn’t mean that reason will come without pain.”
The words hit too close. I turn away, running a hand over my face. My pulse won’t slow. The tether hums again, faint but steady. I can feel Tobias’s heartbeat echoing through it—faster than normal, uneven.
He’s scared. Ashamed. Possibly alone.
Toby.
Grant moves closer, lowering his voice. “We’ll reinforce the perimeter. Double our security cameras, double our patrol runs. Forest is already contacting the other packs. We’ll figure this out.” He claps a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not carrying this alone, you hear me?”
I nod absently, but my mind’s not on strategy. It’s on Tobias.
“He keeps saying Rip owns him,” I whisper.
Sage tilts his head. “And what do you say to that?”
“I told him it’s not true.” I close my eyes. “But I think a part of him believes it. And if he believes it, that’s enough to make it real.”
“He refused to go to him today,” Sage says. “Maybe he’s starting to see another way.”
I cling to that, my heart aching. “Maybe.”
Silence stretches between us. The wind moves through the trees, cold and sharp. We all shiver and shift back to our wolven forms for warmth.
Sage steps forward. Tobias has been alone for so long that he’s not used to having people like us fight with him. We just need to keep showing up. He’ll get it.
I huff a bitter laugh. You sound like Red.
Yeah, well. He’s rubbing off on me. My uncle’s eyes lighten. You okay now?
I think so.
For a while, we just stand there. The scent of the earth is heavy like it’s going to rain. Somewhere far off, an owl calls.
I sit and lick my paw. It aches from the blows to the tree. Do you ever get tired of feeling helpless?
Sage sits beside me. Every damn day.
I let out a slow breath. When Tobias first came here, I didn’t think he’d last a week. He was so skittish, so afraid. Didn’t trust anyone. And now— I shake my head. Now I’d tear apart anyone who touches him.
Sage gives me a sideways glance. That’s the fated instinct talking. It’s not rational.
The tether thrums again. I focus on it, trying to listen without being swallowed by it. It feels… dimmer now. Like Tobias has pulled back.
That terrifies me more than anything.
What if he shuts me out? Doesn’t open up to me?
Sage looks at me like he’s heard that same fear in his own head once. That’s a heartbreak I wouldn’t wish on anyone, Ro. To be rejected by a fated mate… He bumps me with his head. But I don’t think that’s what’s happening. He’s just scared. Keep trying.
Grant turns toward the house. We should head back before it rains.
Sage gets to his feet, but I don’t move. My gaze lingers on the vast forest. It’s so dark and endless, just like Tobias’s fear.
Rip’s not done. He knows where we are now.
Grant’s jaw tightens. Then let him come.
Easy for him to say. He’s not the one with a mate branded by the enemy.
I take off toward the house, needing the motion, the release. The others follow close behind.
By the time we reach the edge of the yard, my lungs burn and my body aches, but the anger hasn’t left me. It just sits there, coiled. Ready.
The porch light glows faintly through the trees. I can smell Tobias here—his scent tangled with the acrid scent of fear. I sink onto the bottom step, elbows on my knees, head bowed. My wolf growls low inside me, restless.
Sage stops beside me, his voice soft. “Have you ever asked him if you can mark him? Or have you just been so determined to give him time and space that it never crossed your mind?”
The bluntness of his question cuts through the fog.
I look up at him. “You really think it’s that easy?”
He smiles faintly. “Tobias wants you, Rowen. That’s all I know. Trust your gut.”
He leaves me there, and I stay long after the others have gone, listening to the house creak around me.
Through the bond, Tobias’s heartbeat evens out, slower now, steadier. He’s not asleep—but he’s calm enough that I can breathe again.
I press a hand to my chest, feeling the echo of it.
He’s mine. Not in the way Rip thinks. Not as possession, or power.
He’s mine because fate decided I’d be the one to stand in front of him when the world comes for him.
And gods help anyone who tries.