Chapter 33 Rowen
ROWEN
Irun a hand down my face and stand. The boards creak under my bare feet as I climb the stairs, slow and uncertain. I’ve never been good at this part—the aftermath. It’s why I’ve never had a relationship last longer than our first argument. I’d rather just walk away than deal with the consequences.
But not with Tobias.
With him, I’ve wanted to lean in from the very beginning. Even before I knew what he was to me. My wolf was drawn to him, trusted him.
I just need him to trust me.
At the top of the stairs, my bedroom door is closed, but the light under it is glowing white.
I twist the knob and push it open carefully.
Tobias is sitting on the edge of the bed, head bowed, his fingers tangled together like he’s trying to hold himself still.
The lamplight paints shadows down his neck, across his shoulders.
He doesn’t look up when I enter, but I feel the shift, the bond tightening between us.
I stop a few feet away. Rain taps softly against the windowpanes.
“I should’ve told you.” His voice is so faint, so hollow. “Not about today, because that’s… I didn’t have time to tell anyone, but before, I mean. With the voices.”
My chest tightens. “I wish you would’ve.”
He winces, like the words cut, but he nods. “I know. I’m sorry.”
I move closer until I’m standing right in front of him. The air between us buzzes faintly, like the bond is coaxing us to get over this madness and just seal everything already.
I can feel the heat radiating from him, the way his energy hums under the surface. He’s holding it in, like he’s bracing for something.
His eyes are rimmed red, but dry, when he finally looks up. “I don’t want this, Ro.”
I recoil. “What?”
“Him! I don’t—” His face crumples. “When I heard him in my head, I thought it was just me. That I was imagining it. Forest and Taren were right there, yet I couldn’t…
I didn’t want to say it out loud because everyone would’ve just thought—” He rubs his neck.
“I don’t know what’s worse. Wishing the voices were just my half-blood saying I’m turning into my mom, or knowing I have some mind link to a fucked up vampire. ”
I swallow hard, watching his fingers twist the blanket.
“All night I’ve been thinking, if only I’d spoken up, if only I’d said something, maybe Ivy wouldn’t have—”
“Stop.” I sit beside him on the bed, careful not to crowd him. “It’s not your fault.”
“It feels like it is. You guys have done everything to help me since I got here, and when it came down to it…” He shakes his head. “You deserved better.”
Tobias doesn’t look at me as he pulls his sleeve up. My eyes widen when I see the mark. It’s twice as dark now, glowing red. I grit my teeth, hands clenching into tight balls.
“When did this happen?”
“Today. I noticed it after you left. I think he’s made it stronger somehow, and that’s how he…
fuck, I don’t know. I’m just guessing. But he’s never been in my head like he was today, Rowen.
I swear to you.” Tobias sounds terrified.
“And he’s still in me. Still watching. Waiting.
I can feel it. Like a thread I can’t cut. ”
I stare at the horrible red light, my jaw tightening. The burn of it makes something primal rise inside me. My wolf snarls, thirsty for blood. But there’s nothing to fight, no immediate threat.
Just a curse burned into my mate’s flesh.
“Maybe we can cut it?” I say. “Maybe if—”
He laughs once, finally looking at me. “Tried that. Didn’t work.”
“What? When?”
“After you left, I stabbed myself with one of Red’s scalpels. He had to heal me.” He sounds so defeated, like he truly believes we won’t get through this. It scares me.
“Toby.” I reach for his hand before I can stop myself. His skin is cold. I can feel his helplessness, his despair. “We’ll find a way to break this.”
He shakes his head. “You guys keep saying that, but don’t you get it? There is no way to break this. He bound me for life. It’ll only break when one of us dies.”
“Then I’ll kill him.”
He lets out a jagged breath, threading our fingers together. Slowly, he lifts them to his lips, holding them there with his eyes closed. That gentle touch, that kiss is everything to me. Finally, my wolf settles, if only a little.
For a long moment, neither of us speaks. The storm outside grows louder, wind sweeping against the walls. The sound of it fills the silence between us.
When Tobias finally turns to me, his eyes glisten in the low light. “I didn’t mean for Ivy to get hurt.”
“I know.”
His voice cracks. “If I’d gone with Rip—”
“Don’t,” I cut in sharply. “Don’t even finish that sentence.”
He blinks, startled.
“You leaving with him wouldn’t have stopped this. You’d be dead, Toby. Or worse.”
He looks away, jaw trembling. “Maybe that would’ve been easier.”
The growl rips out of me before I can stop it. The air between us vibrates with it—not anger at him, but at the thought. At the sheer hopelessness I hear in his voice.
I grab his face, forcing him to look at me. “Don’t ever say that again.”
He stares back at me, wide-eyed.
“You hear me?” My voice drops lower, rougher. “You don’t get to talk about being better off gone. Not when you’ve got a pack, a family, me—all fighting to keep you here.”
“I know. I didn’t mean it.” His throat bobs, and for a second, I think he’s going to pull away.
But he doesn’t. He leans into my palm, closing his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I want to fight with you. I’ve been sitting here thinking how this is the only place I’ve ever truly belonged, and I failed you.
But I’m just… I’m me, Ro. A human. What hope do I possibly have in this? I’m a danger to you.”
I let go of his face but stay close. The bond between us hums steadily now, softer, calmer. Not whole, but not fractured either.
“You’re not human,” I say. “You’re a half-blood.”
He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, exhaling shakily. “And?”
“And, it means you have some fight in you. You might not shift, but you are stronger than a normal human.”
He scoffs. “Now you sound like Red.”
“What has Red been saying?”
“That I should lean in. Embrace my shifter side. He even thought my whispers were my animal instincts getting stronger or something. I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “Clearly, it wasn’t.”
The anger in his tone is unmistakable, but I’m too caught up on the other thing. “He thinks you can shift?”
Tobias shrugs, like the idea is laughable. “He found evidence that my dad was a shifter,” he says softly.
My eyes widen. “What?”
“I wanted to tell you, but I just… I’ve been so overwhelmed with all of this, Rowen.” He sighs.
Tobias’ dad was a shifter too? Moons above, if that’s true… the chances of him shifting are even more likely now. He might still struggle with his animal side, but we can help him. Plus, we’re fated. His animal would know mine instantly. Why haven’t I considered it before?
I pull Tobias closer. To my relief, he sags against me, resting his head against the hollow of my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispers again.
“I know.” I close my eyes. “I am too.”
After a long silence, Tobias says, “Do you really think we can fight him?”
“Rip?”
He nods.
I meet his gaze. “Yes.”
“Even if he’s stronger?”
“Especially if he’s stronger.”
Tobias furrows his brow.
“He underestimates you, just like you underestimate yourself.”
“Me?”
I brush some hair from his forehead. “You survived him once, Toby. Don’t ever forget that.”
His lips twitch into something like disbelief. “You really believe that?”
“With every cell in my body.” I tilt my head until our foreheads touch. “Besides, this time, you’re not alone. I’m standing right beside you. The entire pack is. If Rip… when Rip comes, we’ll be ready.”
He tilts his head, brushing his lips over mine.
I lean in, needing that kiss more than my next breath. “I love you.”
Tobias freezes, then pulls away. Tears fill his eyes. “I needed to hear that.” He exhales hard, hastily wiping his eyes before climbing into my lap, straddling me. He kisses me deeply. “I love you too. So much.”
I lie back so Tobias is on top of me. We crash together, lips and hands everywhere. My wolf howls with desperation. Mine!
Sage’s suggestion comes back to me. Have you ever asked him?
Could it really be that simple?
“Toby?”
He pulls away.
My heart pounds wildly, afraid he’s going to say no. “Do you really want this? Us, I mean? Do you want to be my mate?”
He seems confused. “Yeah.”
“Then can I claim you? Please?” I can’t keep the desperation from my voice. I close my eyes and try to explain. “It’s driving me crazy trying to wait. My wolf needs to make you mine, especially if—”
Tobias silences me with a kiss. “Of course you can. You’re the only one I’ll ever give permission to mark me, Rowen.”
Relief rushes through me. I pull his shirt off, and he smiles faintly, tilting his head just a little as an offering. The sight knocks the breath from my lungs. My mate. This man is mine, truly mine!
I press my lips to his collarbone, teeth piercing his skin before I even realize they’ve changed. I bite hard, tasting blood. Tobias winces, but doesn’t pull away.
The tension that has been slowly tightening within me snaps loose, and suddenly I can breathe. I curl my arms around him and whisper against his ear, “Thank you.”
For the first time in weeks, my chest feels light, and my wolf quiets. Everything else fades. The scent of his skin, the sound of his breath mixing with mine—then Tobias jerks back, a hiss ripping from his throat as he claps a hand to the back of his neck.
He turns away, wincing in pain as he slides off me.
“Toby?”
His eyes close, lips pressed together in a thin line. “Ah, fuck!”
Tobias writhes, as if something is piercing him. He arches his back and screams. The mark on his shoulder glows red.
I shout toward the hall, “Help! Someone!”
Reaching for him, I try to help, but what can I do? What is even happening? “Tobias?”
Blood still drips from my bite, smearing against the sheets as he twists in agony.
Ivy and Sage burst through the door, quickly followed by Neal, wielding a knife.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Sage asks.
“I don’t know!” I hold Tobias’s face. “Toby, baby. Talk to me. What’s happening?”
He kicks a few more times, then curls against me, trembling. His hand never leaves his neck. “It’s Rip.”
“Is he talking to you?”
“No. He’s—ah!” Tobias screams again.
“Get Taren,” Sage says. “And Red. Hurry!”
Neal disappears down the hall.
The mark on Tobias’s arm flickers, pulsing a bright red. Fear claws at my throat, freezing me in place. He’s in pain, and I can’t stop it. My wolf snarls, a sound low and dangerous, rising from my chest. Rage burns through the panic. How dare that man hurt what is mine!
Footsteps thunder up the stairs before half the pack crams into my room, faces tight with confusion.
Ivy kneels on the bed beside Tobias, eyes wide. “Can you feel him or something?”
Tobias hides his face against my chest. “He’s angry,” he murmurs. “Like, really, really pissed off.”
I frown. “Angry?”
After a long moment, Tobias peers up at me, cheeks red despite the pain. Sweat beads on his forehead. He still rubs his neck, though whatever it is seems to be fading. “I think he felt it when you—” He glances around the room. “He knows you claimed me.”
I exhale hard, pulling him to me. Rip felt that?
Good. Let the bastard feel it. Rip needs to know Tobias doesn’t belong to him.
Tobias finally lets go of his neck, then touches his collarbone. It comes away wet with blood.
The air in the room seems to settle as everyone realizes what happened.
“I think a congratulations is in order?” Neal offers with a weak chuckle.
I smile down at Tobias, who curls closer. I tip his chin up for a kiss.
Ivy leans over, wrapping her arms around both of us.
Tobias seems surprised by the gesture, like he thought Ivy would be mad at him or something.
A second later, Taren joins in, then Red and Neal.
The bed dips beneath the weight of them all, warmth pressing in from every side.
Pack scent and laughter fill the air, steadying the chaos.
Tobias lets out a shaky laugh that sounds half relieved, half embarrassed. “Okay, okay,” he mumbles, cheeks flushed. “You guys are ridiculous.”
Neal ruffles his hair. “Welcome to the pack, Toby. Officially.”
Taren looks at the mark on his shoulder, holding her phone up. “Do you mind if I take a picture? I want to compare the changes.”
“Only if we can talk about it tomorrow.”
She snaps a couple of photos, then one by one they leave the room.
Tobias touches the bite mark again, then melts against me. “If I’d known this would’ve made you smile that big, I would’ve asked for it sooner.”
“I didn’t… I wasn’t sure you really wanted me,” I say.
Tobias props himself up. “I’ve never not wanted you. I’ve just been scared. I didn’t want to turn into my mom. And with Rip…” He holds my face. “I love you, Rowen. I just still struggle to see where I fit. I’m not like you guys.”
I pull him down. “You fit better than you think you do.”
He curls against me, holding me tight. Tobias falls asleep first. I stay awake, listening to the wind scrape the windows and the steady beat of his heart through the bond.
Rip felt my claiming bite. He knows not only where Tobias is but who he is to us. He knows we’ll defend him.
Let him come.
When he does, we’ll be ready.
When he does, I’m going to kill him.