17. Coraline
17
Coraline
Seven years ago
I’ve been staying off campus at my grandparents house since I got discharged from the hospital.
The ride home was the most uncomfortable car ride I have ever experienced. I was an ugly mess, Granna was hysterical and Pappy was eerily quiet. Poor Gemma is probably traumatized for life now.
Bringing a baby into my life right now feels absolutely insane. I looked at all of the resources that Dr. Jamison gave me and I feel like abortion is not an option for me.
I made certain choices and now I am paying for my actions. I know that I had my mind dead set on leaving this town to keep Jesse happy—but now I know for sure that God has other plans for me and for this baby.
I've tried to contact Jesse multiple times now. The first time that he finally answered me, he told me to never contact him again and hung up.
I texted him after and told him that it was incredibly important and that I needed to speak to him ASAP. He then proceeded to block me— he also blocked me on every social media profile that he had.
I get that he’s mad at me, but if he would just let me explain the situation I know he would put aside how he feels for me and focus on the baby.
I don't expect him to take me back, that’s not why I’m contacting him. I just want him to have a chance to be the good dad that I know he has always wanted to be.
The morning sickness, not a hangover as I had once thought, has been tolerable today. Whoever named it morning sickness is a liar because I have been sick all day long. I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots sooner.
I’m sitting in my childhood room and I have my prayer quilt clutched in my hand. My eyes and throat start to burn. I wish Jesse would answer me.
As a last resort effort, I decide that I’m going to have to call his parents. I’ll tell them since he is still refusing to talk to me. Maybe they will understand since it's their grandchild.
I take a deep breath and pull out my cell phone.
I open up his parents home phone number and dial it. Someone answers on the first ring.
“Coraline, I think it’s pretty clear that Jesse does not want to talk to you.”Keri's high pitched voice rings through my speaker. I cringe and move the phone away from my ear.
I've never gotten along with Jesse’s mom. She's an acquired taste of a woman and is too overprotective of her son. I tried to win her over multiple times but eventually gave up. It wasn’t worth it. I learned that there is no pleasing her or making her happy.
“Mrs. Cooper,I know that I have made mistakes and I wish I could go back in time and change them, but that’s not why I’m calling," I say, trying to ease myself into the conversation. I can already tell this isn't going to go well.
“Then what do you want? Quite frankly I don’t want to hear from you or your family ever again either," Keri huffs.
I stay silent for a few seconds as I try to think of the best way to do this. I better just get it over with.
“I'm pregnant Mrs. Cooper and Jesse is the father. I’ve been trying to contact him so I could tell him myself.”
“Look, I don't know why you think you’re having a baby with my son but he's right, you’re actually crazy. We have all heard about how wild you’ve been out there in the city. I bet you don’t even know who the dad really is. My Jesse will not be your saving grace. Do not contact us again.”
She hung up the phone before I could even formulate a response. I’m stunned. My mouth actually drops open. I can’t believe she just said that to me.
She's the one who told me that I needed to leave him. She confessed that he told her I was bringing him down and making him unhappy. I'm starting to think she lied to me about him. I'm mad at myself for even entertaining her lies.
There is no question that Jesse is the father. I’ve never been with anyone else. I don’t know how else to get in touch with him without showing up at his doorstep, which sounds like a terrible idea after what his mother just said to me. So, I pull out a sheet of paper, grab a pen and write everything down.
I say a prayer to the man up above and mail the letter. The ball is in his court now. There is only so much I can do to make him hear me out. I have to accept it and make peace with it.