Chapter 18
18
DEER
For a single heartbeat, I was happy.
I’d never met Uncle Sloan, not that I remembered, anyway. Mom had said he’d held me once when I was a baby and had seen me at Dad’s funeral. And I was finally standing in front of the man in charge of our big family company, the one who might be able to give me a chance to be involved in something my grandfather had built. I’d been trying to think of a way to meet him forever without going through my mother—because just thinking about that was nightmare fuel.
Should I tell him about my Pharm D? Should I tell him I was interested in joining the Killough Company, if he wanted to give me a chance, of course.
The moment was ruined when Uncle Sloan scowled.
Scott’s eyes went flinty. He spun toward Uncle Sloan, face flushing a furious pink I’d never seen. Both men were tall and muscular—they could take a hit from a linebacker. Currently, they also wanted to rip each other’s heads off.
Scott dropped my hand like it was poisonous and glared between us. The ice in his gaze drifted in my direction, giving me a chill. My stomach swooped when he stepped forward just enough to box me out of the conversation. He jabbed a finger in Uncle Sloan’s direction, which made Uncle Sloan’s bold eyebrows lower dangerously.
“Killough, I never knew you to play this type of twisted game. You’ve always been up front with me, which I thought we both respected. Deer didn’t have much to report to you that was news, did he? Aside from my social schedule and a few kinks. Oh, and a weapons designer you already know and paid.”
Uncle Sloan’s arms fell to his sides and his eyebrows shot upward.
I shoved Scott’s shoulder as a surge of adrenaline shot through me while awfulness swirled in my gut. He shook me off and didn’t even glance back.
“Excuse me?” Uncle Sloan’s words were barely audible.
Goose bumps broke out on my body and I swiped sweat off my forehead.
Scott stepped forward and pointed at Uncle Sloan’s chest, his teeth bared in a snarl. “I knew you were a suspicious man. That’s fucking reasonable, mate. I get it. But I didn’t realize you would pimp out your own nephew for intel. That’s low. Can’t see that he deserved that, no matter what you’d want him to prove to you.”
The punch from Uncle Sloan came so fast it was a blur. I barely had a chance to realize what was happening as Scott fell backward. He was a lot heavier than me, and the impact knocked the wind out of me when we crashed to the floor. I groaned in pain as my spine took the brunt of the impact. My teeth clacked together, and I swore I cracked a molar because pain stabbed into my jaw. My arms went around Scott instinctively. Agony that had nothing to do with falling flayed my chest when he shoved me away and scrambled upright again.
Anger had me bouncing back to my feet as everything Scott had said finally sank in. I pinched Scott’s wrist, and he hissed, glaring at me. “I might put out for the right amount of cash—” Heat filtered into my face, neck, and scorched every inch of my chest. Fuck, I hated that I was blushing. “—but I work for myself .”
Uncle Sloan blinked like an owl and his mouth fell open as he stared at me. “What? What the hell has been going on?”
“That’s what I want to know!” Scott growled, tossing up his hands.
There was a scuffling nearby, and I sucked in a breath as I noticed about ten men in suits with handguns out, and they were all pointing their weapons at me and Scott.
“I’m going to need a lot of answers from you, Cairns,” Uncle Sloan said, and then he grabbed Scott.
Scott glared at the men with guns, darting his attention from me to them, before allowing Uncle Sloan to drag him along. The beautiful home was bigger than any I’d ever stepped foot inside, and I quickly lost track of where we were in relation to the front door, especially when a man behind me shoved me through a doorway. I almost fell down a set of stairs leading into a basement room because I had to dodge a mop bucket and cleaning supplies.
Uncle Sloan let go of Scott’s arm as they reached the bottom of the steps, and he circled us as we shuffled out into the center of the windowless room. He held out his hand, and one of his men slapped a huge gray pistol into it. I didn’t know anything about guns, but this one seemed like it could blow off someone’s whole head and leave goop behind. I gagged just thinking about it. Uncle Sloan whirled around, and I choked back bile when he shoved the muzzle of the gun under Scott’s chin.
“Don’t!” I was ignored.
“You have one minute, one only, to convince me you didn’t bring my nephew here as leverage against your idiocy.” Uncle Sloan was ready to breathe fire.
“But he didn’t?—”
I was cut off when Uncle Sloan raised a finger in my direction. I wanted to keep speaking, but something told me that would be a huge mistake. Horror pelted through me. I hadn’t even been this scared for Scott when I’d seen him bleeding from a gunshot wound. My uncle really was the same intense man I’d seen giving interviews. But, right now, he wasn’t some dark hero to emulate. No, he was a fucking monster, and I was terrified he was going to kill my boyfriend.
Scott closed his eyes, then looked at Uncle Sloan directly in his. “You might think this is a pile of shit, but I did not know who he was. He’s been telling me he’s Deer Marshall. I’m not going to waste a bunch of breath convincing you. That’s just a fact. He even has ID with the name.” He crossed his arms. “If you blow my head off, I can’t get my team on fixing that stupidity with the Feds. I apologize. I wasn’t keeping my nose close enough to the grindstone, and I’ll eat the cost of setting up a new location. I admit my mistakes, but this—” He hooked a thumb in my direction. “—certainly isn’t one of them. Well, at least, not on purpose.” He groaned and glanced at the ceiling as if he was pleading for some higher power to shed light on the situation.
Uncle Sloan shoved the gun harder against the underside of Scott’s chin and tilted his head back farther.
“Please stop,” I whispered.
Uncle Sloan’s lips pursed, and Scott let out a relieved breath as the gun eased back an infinitesimal amount.
The tension had my skin crawling.
Uncle Sloan glared at me, then back at Scott. “You’re telling me a man in your field didn’t vet someone in his inner circle?” His voice was deadly quiet, and I had to lean closer to hear the last of his words.
Scott laughed, but it sounded so manic and sincere that Uncle Sloan only sighed. He took a step back, but the gun was still out and pointed in Scott’s direction.
Scott scrubbed his hands down his face. “Listen, mate. I met him peddling his arse in a bar. It’s only luck I got him instead of someone else. Someone worse .” He glared at Uncle Sloan. “And all things considered, I treated him with more respect than he did me.”
“What?” I snapped, feeling incredulous.
He only shot me a look that could melt metal—and not in a sexy way. My insides curdled.
Uncle Sloan gave me a dead-eyed stare that had the rest of my guts curling up and disintegrating. How could a man I’d never said a single word to before today make me feel like I was doing something wrong?
“You don’t understand!” I ran my hands through my hair and tugged on the strands for a second. “I needed cash. You cut Mom off and it was going to come from somewhere. Did you think that she was ever going to get a job?” I couldn’t catch my breath to laugh, but my lips twisted.
He sighed and ran his hand through his bleached blond hair, mussing it.
I couldn’t stand to hold eye contact with Uncle Sloan’s doom glare, so I glanced at the cement floor, then kicked at a dark rust spot with the tip of my shoe. “Is that blood?”
Uncle Sloan grunted, and when I glanced up, real fear strafed through me. He frowned at Scott and seemed to dismiss him, but then his hand was tangled in the collar of my shirt, and he backed me against a gray brick wall. When I tried to squirm away, he twisted until the cloth began to bite into my neck. It didn’t hurt, exactly, but I got the message.
“Hey! Careful with him!”
Uncle Sloan didn’t glance away from me, but there was the sound of a tussle. Scott backed off with his hands raised as two men held guns on him.
“I believe Scott. We’ve done business for years. He’s a known element,” Uncle Sloan said coolly, as if he was discussing the weather. “Why are you here?” He lifted an eyebrow, and I felt like I might piss my pants, but I took a deep breath and got my shit together.
“I really was just with him when you called him. It was a weird coincidence. He’s my boyfriend.”
Uncle Sloan glared long enough that I started to squirm and gave in, tugging at his hand for all the good that did—he did not let go of my shirt—and then he turned to scowl at Scott. “I believe you.”
“Yeah, situation’s fucked. I can forgive a punch between mates.” The guns held on Scott were lowered, and he looked as if he wanted to run over to me, but instead he tugged at his coat, straightening it.
Uncle Sloan turned and gave me a little shove to the side. I stumbled, tripping over a metal folding chair along the wall. I went down hard on my ass. His eyebrows danced upward, as if maybe he had expected me to be less of a klutz, and he crouched with the gun dangling between his knees, studying me like he’d never seen me in his life—and I guess, really, he hadn’t.
“Being blood is the only reason you’re not dead right now. I don’t enjoy surprises.” He tilted his head to the side. “What are you doing in my home? Does this have something to do with Fionn?”
All the anger and resentment that had been slowly building in me since I’d met Ryan Killough formed a knot in my stomach and exploded as I rocketed to my feet and shoved him over. He grunted but held out his hand to his men. I was so fucking pissed off that I didn’t even care about the guns aimed at my head anymore.
“I finally get to meet you and this is what I get?” It felt like a scalding hot knife was digging around in my guts. “My mysterious Uncle Sloan who runs this big important company is an asshole . I mean, I probably should’ve guessed, since you never visited. You and Mom deserve each other. I used to think, well, at least I have some relatives somewhere who might be okay, but fuck, I don’t!”
He got to his feet in the blink of an eye, but he handed his gun off to one of his men. “Did she ask you to worm your way into my operations?” I couldn’t tell if he sounded pissed off or impressed.
Well, if he wasn’t going to shoot me, there was no reason to stay here. I stomped toward the stairs. “She’s too busy worrying that she can’t afford to get a facelift from her favorite plastic surgeon this year. Do you really think she gives a shit what you’re doing? I’m her son and she doesn’t even care what I’m doing.”
There was a snort behind me, and maybe it came from my uncle, but I didn’t look back to find out. “Stop.”
I didn’t know why I did, but I turned back.
Uncle Sloan’s gaze bore into me as if he was trying to figure out who the hell I was, which I guess was fair, but Scott’s furious scowl gutted me. He’d never looked at me that way. I’d only ever seen him upset with other people. My insides rioted. I wanted to run over to him and beg him not to be mad at me. Beg him to tell me I was still his boyfriend.
Uncle Sloan turned to one of the men who’d been aiming their gun at us; although, his weapon was loose at his side right now. “Take my nephew upstairs to my office,” he said. His tone was dead calm after he’d obviously been furious. The shift was unsettling.
I shivered.
As I spun and stalked up the stairs, when I was almost free of the basement, Uncle Sloan cleared his throat. “I believe you didn’t know. How did you write the boy a check without a legal name?” There was a tinge of amusement in Uncle Sloan’s tone.
“Cash is king?” Scott chuckled, but it sounded all wrong. Mean. Not my Scott. “When paying for arse, I only use notes.”
Uncle Sloan snorted, a cynical sound.
Fury hacked apart my insides. I’d never felt degraded by Scott for taking cash from him, but I felt a little dirty for the first time. Like maybe he thought less of me. He’d told other people he was paying for it. I knew he’d told Avery. He hadn’t minded then. Why did he sound cruel now? Hot tears pricked the corners of my eyes, and I swiped at them with the back of my hand. I stepped aside at the top of the stairs, and the man with the gun let me walk next to him as he took me in the direction of Uncle Sloan’s office, or at least, I assumed that was what we were doing.
A man—in yet another suit—walking down the hallway toward us stumbled to a stop with a frown. I recognized the swoop of his dark eyebrows and the same angular jawline that I looked at in the mirror every day. “Fionn?”
He frowned, lips pursing, and then his mouth fell open. “Is that little Deer?” He grinned. “I never expected to see you here!” He walked forward quickly and rested his hands on my shoulders, but I shook him off.
Bitterness and resentment sank their fangs into me, oozing venom into my heart. “No, you wouldn’t, would you? You got to come live here while I’ve been stuck dealing with Mom. You’ve been living it up while I hear all about how Uncle Sloan cut her off and no one cares about her.”
Fionn frowned. “That’s.... Trust me, you aren’t the only one she tried that with.” His eyebrows dipped and his jaw tensed. “You don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand.” All the things I’d been stuffing down and holding in, cramming into the darkest corners of my mind, came boiling out like bile to spew everywhere. “No one was ever planning to invite me here and ask how I’m doing. No one was ever going to ask me to join the family business, even though I think it was supposed to be for all of us to have a place in the world, right? Not just a couple of us?”
Fionn flinched and took a step back.
“Cousins I’ve never even heard of from fucking Ireland are all welcomed with open arms, but not me!”
“I had no idea you felt that way.” Fionn’s frown had no right to look so fucking hurt.
“How would you? You never talk to me and Bell!”
He raised his hands, but then they dropped abruptly. “Mom always said you were busy.” He smoothed down his tie.
“For twelve fucking years?”
When he only blinked at me, I glanced away, then realized I was close to the front door again. I nearly sprinted to get away from him and escape outside.
“Do not touch him,” Fionn snarled at someone.
“The boss said?—”
“Don’t.” Fionn was at my side as a blond man in a suit— why is everyone in fucking suits? —opened the front door to let me out. I breathed in the cold air, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the heat stinging my cheeks.
Fionn grabbed my wrist and dragged me to a halt. “Why were you here?”
Awful laughter that had him frowning scraped my throat and spilled between us. “I came here with my boyfriend because he has business with the Killough Company. I was going to sit very quietly and let him do his thing and not cause any trouble.”
Fionn huffed out an amused sound that reminded me of Uncle Sloan. “Scott Cairns?”
I nodded, but my stomach hadn’t reappeared yet and I was freefalling. The way Scott had looked at me.... I wasn’t so sure we were still boyfriends. I touched my hand to the necklace he’d given me, but it was missing. My heart squeezed. Did the chain get broken when Uncle Sloan had me pinned to the wall?
Fionn waved his hand, and I realized he must’ve been gesturing at a driver because a black BMW pulled up near us, and he walked me over to it. He opened the back door, and I sank gratefully inside. I wasn’t sure I would’ve had much of a choice, though, because my legs just gave out.
“Uncle Sloan will have Scott here most of the night. The issue they need to address isn’t insignificant.” He shook his head. “Where would you like the driver to take you?”
“My apartment.” I rattled off the address without thought, even though I hadn’t been there in over a month.
The driver nodded, then put up a divider between us.
“You don’t want to get involved in the business,” Fionn said, and he sounded so sure of himself. There was something steely in his gaze that reminded me of the way Scott had looked at me. No one fucking wanted me here.
“Yeah, I get when I’m not welcome,” I mumbled and slammed the door.
My brother—who hadn’t spoken to me in years—raised his hands and stepped back. The car glided forward. The ride was sleek, the kind only a shitload of money could buy. I shoved back against the seat and crossed my arms. A dull, spiky pain started in my lower left jaw, and I rubbed there as a toothache throbbed. I was starting to really hate nice things. What did they matter if you were alone? I rested my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. As I unwound, the dread and fear that had been shoved aside earlier by adrenaline overwhelmed me. Hot tears slid down my cheeks.
I’d really fucked up absolutely everything. Not using my real name had seemed smart. It just hadn’t come up yet with Scott. I wouldn’t have lied to him, I just didn’t think about it.
The only reason I’d been interested in getting my Pharm D was to take a shot at the Killough Company. That was gone. I patted my bare throat. Scott was gone. In a couple of months I would be right back in the hole because I was too fucking stupid to stop giving money to my mother.
The tears kept flowing and I thought about calling Bryn, but not even she would be able to help me solve this mess. No one could.