Chapter 8 – Chickie Nuggie Pasties
Sunday – September 24, 2023
Ash
Are you freaking kidding me? I looked around Tanner’s kitchen. This must be some sort of joke, right? Right?! I didn’t even understand how he had disappeared. Last I checked, he didn’t have his magic back. Was he also an accomplished illusionist?
I was about to freak out. But then I realized that he must just be messing with me. Again.
But this time, the joke would be on him. I wasn’t gonna freak out like he wanted. I was just going to go to town on these gochujang nuggets. Tanner would be lucky if I saved him any at all.
I poured some rice out onto my plate and then topped it with a healthy portion of nuggets, broccoli, and, most importantly, tons of gochujang mayo.
Yum.
As a took a huge bite, a glob of gochujang mayo slid off my fork and landed on my boob. It didn’t matter though, because my shirt was in a ball halfway across the kitchen and my bra was hooked around the wine bottle.
Huh, I should eat topless more often.
I wiped the sauce off my boob and shoved my finger in my mouth. “God yes,” I moaned. Don’t judge me - I was still horny from what Tanner had been doing right before his little disappearing act. And gochujang mayo was pretty orgasmic to begin with.
I heard the door to Tanner’s apartment open. Then he started whistling. Apparently his weird illusionist prank was over. He was lucky he hadn’t taken any longer because once I started eating nuggies, I had a hard time stopping. But I had a fun idea of how to share them.
When the whistling grew closer to the kitchen, I grabbed two chicken nuggets and placed them against my nipples. “Want to eat them off of me, big boy?” I said.
The whistling suddenly stopped.
Gah, why the heck did I call him big boy? But who cared. His silence was clearly a signal that he was so into me half naked on his counter that he couldn’t even come up with words to describe the emotions coursing through his chiseled body. I turned around to look at him.
Oh fuck me.
It wasn’t Tanner standing in the kitchen.
It was Matt.
Yes, that Matt!
Matthew. Freaking. Caldwell.
Our eyes locked. And pure terror coursed through my veins. There was no lake to jump into. Or a bush to hide in. Or a candle to set him on fire with. Don’t think about Incident #1!
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Matt asked and lifted his hand.
Was he reaching for my boobs? Shit! I chucked the chicken nuggets at his face .
He ducked out of the way, his hand still outstretched.
And I realized he’d just been trying to block my sandbags from his view. Not fondle them.
Good Lord, why?! Why would you do this to me? Of all the people to send into this apartment, why Matt?
And why had I just thrown my nugget pasties at him? They were the only thing covering my boobs. I flung myself off the counter and onto the ground to hide behind the island. But there was no hiding. He’d seen me. Clear as day.
What do I do now?
The kitchen was eerily quiet.
“No one’s home,” I said in a weird accent.
“Ash, what the hell,” Matt said. “Did you break into this apartment?”
“Don’t call the cops!” I yelled. The last thing I needed was for them to flood the kitchen too while I was top nude. “No one’s home!”
“Ash, I saw you.”
“Pretend you didn’t! Pretend this never happened. Just...pretend I’m invisible!”
“I can’t pretend you didn’t break into this apartment. I’m calling the cops.”
“Wait!” The only thing worse than what just happened would be getting arrested for what just happened. I poked my head out from the side of the island. “You have it all backwards. I didn’t break in.”
Matt’s hand was still outstretched so he wouldn’t have to see my top half on display.
“But did you ? Pervert! I’m calling the cops on you !” I didn’t want the coppers anywhere near this situation, but I’d prefer Matt behind bars. Then I’d never have to accidentally run into him. It was the perfect plan. Where was my phone?
“No I didn’t break in,” Matt said. “I used to live here. Seriously, why are you here, Ash? I’m married.”
My face was turning more red by the second. “I’m not here to seduce you!”
“Then why are you half naked on the counter begging me to eat chicken nuggets off your breasts?” He grimaced and looked away.
“Because I thought you were my boyfriend! I’m dating Tanner. Tanner Rhodes. Ever heard of him? Pervert!”
“Would you stop calling me that? And of course I know Tanner. I literally just told you I lived with him for a bit.”
Why would Tanner not tell me this?
“Wait,” Matt said. “YOU’RE Ashley?!”
What the hell does that mean? Of course my full name was Ashley. What did he think Ash stood for? Asher? Or Ashton? Or Ashvik? I wasn’t a man! And I needed to get the hell out of here. I glanced up at the counter. The bottle of wine was wearing my bra like a hat. If I could just get my bra, I could run the hell out of here. I nodded. I had the perfect plan.
“No one here goes by that name, good sir,” I said in an indescribable accent again. “And this never happened! Avert your eyes or die!” God, why had I just threatened him?!
But it was now or never. I pushed myself up off the ground and tugged my skirt down to try to salvage what was left of my modesty. Although my thong still caught on my heel wasn’t doing me any favors in that department. I tried to kick it under the counter, but it just looked like I was doing a sexy little dance for him.
Fortunately he was still trying to block me from his view.
I lunged for the bottle of wine. I grabbed one of the straps of my bra and pulled it. A little too hard.
The wine bottle slid across the counter.
No! I climbed onto the counter to try and stop it.
But I reached out a second too late. The bottle flung through the air. Matt wasn’t looking so he had no chance of blocking it.
The wine bottle collided with the front of his pants. Hard.
“Oof,” Matt said.
The bottle fell to the ground and shattered.
No. I’d already set Matt’s dick on fire. And now I’d smashed it with a wine bottle. No dick should ever be mutilated so much. Unless it was a bad dick. Like a rapey one. And Matt wasn’t a bad person. It wasn’t his fault that I always acted terrible around him. I cringed as Matt groaned. After the fire and the smashing, there was probably barely anything left of his dick at this point.
He grabbed his junk and bent over.
And now his hand couldn’t block the view of me.
I was on my knees on the counter. Tits everywhere and ass out again because this skirt sucked. It looked like I was crawling toward him in a very seductive manner.
There was no lake. Or bush to hide in. But there was another option. I jumped off the counter, sprinted through the great room, and slammed into the window overlooking Central Park.
And everything went dark.
***
I slowly opened my eyes. Matt was standing over me with a concerned expression on his face.
I screamed and grabbed my exposed breasts.
But they weren’t exposed anymore. He’d laid a blanket over me. An icepack slid off my forehead and onto the ground. Matt was also holding an icepack to the front of his pants.
“What’s happening right now?” I whispered, hoping this was somehow a nightmare and not my real life.
Matt pulled his eyebrows together. “You slammed into the window and bounced off. Fortunately.”
“Oh. Right.” It all came flooding back. I looked over at the window. Maybe a second go would be more successful...
“Ash, did you just try to kill yourself to get away from me?”
“What? NO.”
“It kind of seems like you wanted to hurl your body through that window.”
“I was aiming for the fire escape.”
“We’re like 80 stories up. There is no fire escape.”
“Well, I did not know that.” I slowly sat up. Despite the fact that I’d body slammed the glass, I felt decent.
“Here.” He handed me a folded t-shirt.
“Thank you.” I quickly pulled it on. It was huge on me.
“I can’t believe that you’ re Ashley.”
“Of course my name is Ashley.”
“I just meant...” Matt chuckled and shook his head. “Tanner told me all about you. But he called you Ashley. Instead of Ash. He’s all about big reveals. I’m sure this wasn’t the way he was planning on telling me. He probably had some funny way to reveal it.”
“Yeah, probably.” I couldn’t believe Tanner hadn’t told Matt that he was dating fire pants girl. I cleared my throat. “Thank you for uh...taking care of me. But can you please leave now and never be in my presence again?”
“I think it’s going to be a little hard to avoid each other if you’re dating Tanner. He’s one of my best friends. We hang out all the time.”
Well fuck my life.
“And I have to stop by here from time to time because I used to live here and never quite fully moved out.”
“What?”
Matt shook his head. “Nigel is really weird about moving trucks or something. And I’m starting to suspect that he goes through my closet at home and brings stuff back here.”
“Why does Nigel have access to your closet at your house?”
Matt sighed. “There’s a door between...” his voice trailed off. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
I almost smiled at his response.
“Either way, I stop by sometimes to get clothes and things.” He gestured toward a suitcase next to the couch .
“That’s fine,” I said. “But please don’t look at me again for at least a few months. And I’d appreciate you announcing yourself when entering the apartment. So I have time to hide.”
Matt laughed. “It’s fine, Ash. It was just a misunderstanding.” His phone buzzed and he looked down at the screen. He laughed again. “I told Tanner I ran into you here. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him anything that happened. Yet. I want to prank him back about this. I just need to figure out how. But he just texted me back. He asked if you set me on fire again. He’s going to love this new story.”
I groaned.
“He also said to tell you that your best friend needed him. And that he’ll be back in a couple minutes.”
Damn it, Chastity! She must have rubbed his lamp and made him magically teleport to her or something. I should have known it was a bad idea to make her Tanner’s master.
I cleared my throat. “Is your um...member okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
I hoped so. I knew he’d recently had a baby. He might want to have another. I wasn’t sure if that was possible anymore though. His dong was probably barely hanging on.
“Please stop looking at my dick.”
What? No. Ah! I looked back up at his face. “Okay then. Well. I guess that is all. Good day.” I shooed him away.
“Promise you’re not going to body slam that window again?”
“As long as you leave immediately. ”
He laughed and picked up the icepack I’d dropped. He placed it gently against my forehead. “See you around, Ashley.”
I cringed. I was going to kill Tanner.
As soon as I heard the front door close I shoved the blanket off of me. I wandered over to the window and stared down. Damn, there really was no fire escape. Luckily my naked body was very bouncy.
I wandered back into the kitchen and started eating my chicken nuggets.
I hoped eating would make me forget the last ten minutes of my life, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. Matt had said he hung out with Tanner all the time. I wondered if all of Matt’s friends were part of that hang out. Like Penny. I’d really liked talking to Penny while she catfished me into going on a date with Matt. She was my redhead role model. Maybe hanging out with Matt wouldn’t be so terrible if she was there too...
And speaking of Matt. Tanner needed a prank handed back at him. I hurried around the kitchen getting everything ready. I smiled to myself. I actually had two amazing pranks planned. Tanner was going to be so pissed.
I heard the front door of the apartment open just as I was finishing setting everything up.
“Sorry,” Tanner said as he walked into the kitchen. “Your dumb best friend was curious about what would happen if she rubbed my lamp when I wasn’t in the room. The answer, of course, was that it would magically teleport me directly to her...” his voice trailed off when he saw the broken wine bottle on the floor. “What happened to the Vernaccia di San Gimignano? Wait. What are you wearing?” He stared at the hem of the t-shirt against my thighs.
“Matthew Caldwell’s t-shirt.” I popped my hip against the counter.
Tanner frowned. “Why are you wearing his t-shirt?”
I knew Matt wanted to somehow prank Tanner back with what happened. But I’d gotten caught in between their shenanigans and it was payback time. “Well, you left me naked and alone on your counter. And Matt stepped up to the plate to finish what you started.”
Tanner raised his eyebrow at me.
“That’s right. I fucked Matthew Caldwell. Right here on this counter.”
Tanner cocked his head to the side. “And the lump on your forehead?”
“It was very rough intercourse.”
“Is that so?”
“The roughest.”
“Hm. Let’s see about that.” Tanner looked down at his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Watching the security footage.”
“Don’t do that,” I said.
Tanner chuckled.
“Stop looking at that!”
He laughed a little harder. And then he cringed. “Ash.” He looked up at me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I pulled his phone out of his hand and set it on the counter. “But the joke’s on you.”
“How is the joke on me? Are you sure your head is okay? Do you need some ice?”
“The joke is on you because...” I popped the last of my gochujang nuggets into my mouth. “I hope you weren’t hungry.”
“What?” asked Tanner.
I gestured to all the empty takeout containers next to me on the counter.
He stared at me. “You seriously ate my nuggets?”
I nodded and gave him my sassiest look. “Maybe next time you won’t leave me naked in your kitchen.”
“That was the last thing I wanted to do. But your crazy best friend can’t be trusted with my lamp. We need to get her to use up her wishes as soon as possible.”
“Can’t you just get Nigel to steal it back from her? She already hates him.”
“Did you not see them flirting back at the office? They’re definitely in love with each other. I just hope Nigel doesn’t hurt her. He’s been known to break some hearts over the years.”
I stared at him. “We must not be talking about the same Nigel. Wait! Earlier you said Nigel fucked Marie Antoinette. I need so much more information about that.”
“All in good time. But right now, I’m starving.” He grabbed the collar of Matt’s shirt and tore it off of me. And then he hoisted me onto the kitchen counter.
Oh my God! I didn’t think I’d ever been so turned on in my whole life.
He kissed down my neck. And between my breasts. And down my stomach. But then he pulled back. “ You’re delicious. But first I need some real food. It’s a good thing Nigel is a great chef since a certain someone decided to eat all my nuggets. Nigel!” he yelled into his cavernous great room.
“Wait!” I screamed. “Don’t come yet!” I couldn’t have another awkward naked encounter tonight.
“What’s wrong?” asked Tanner.
“You can’t just go calling for your houseboy when I’m top nude on your kitchen counter!”
Tanner raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
“Because he’ll see my boobs!”
“Oh.” Tanner waved my worry away. “Don’t worry about that. Nigel!” he yelled again.
“No! No Nigel!” I yelled back. “You don’t need him. Because I didn’t really eat your nuggets.”
“Huh?”
I opened one of the cabinets to reveal his perfectly hidden dinner. “Booya! I tricked you so good! You should have seen the look on your face when I told you that I ate all your nuggets. Best. Prank. Ever.” I made an exploding motion in his face.
Tanner laughed. “I don’t know if I’d really consider that a prank. I mean…you just lied to my face. Pranks require a bit more nuance.”
“Oh I know what a good prank is.” My mind immediately flashed to the prank I’d pulled on Cole. But I really didn’t want to ever speak of that again. Chastity telling Tanner about it had been bad enough.
“Why are you blushing?” he asked as he popped a nugget into his mouth.
Umm… “Because I’m expecting Nigel to walk in at any second and see my boobs. ”
“Why would that make you blush? Nigel’s my houseboy. He’s basically part of the house. Like the walls. Walls see people naked all the time and it’s no big deal. Same thing for Nigel.”
“That’s definitely not the same. Walls don’t have eyes. Or thoughts.” Or penises.
“I beg your pardon,” said a British woman’s voice.
I spun around to see where the noise had come from. But it was just me and Tanner in the kitchen. “Who said that?” I asked.
“Ah, that’s Destiny,” said Tanner.
“Who the hell is Destiny? Your housegirl?”
“What’s a housegirl? That sounds inappropriate.” Tanner popped another nugget in his mouth. “Destiny is my virtual assistant.”
“Like an Alexa?”
“Ha,” scoffed Tanner. “Destiny isn’t some silly voice-activated tech with a few skills. She’s a fully functioning AI.”
“Let me guess. Your friend Elon gave her to you to try out?”
“No. She’s actually a repurposed military AI. After Fifty Shades got popular, the Chinese military thought it would be a good idea to give an AI a crazy sex drive and then force it to watch Fifty Shades of Grey over and over again. They wanted her to view China and US as being in a dom/sub relationship, with China being the dom.”
I laughed. But Tanner didn’t. He seemed completely serious.
“You’re pranking me, right?” I asked .
“Again, lying to someone’s face isn’t pranking them. And no, I’m neither lying to you nor pranking you.”
“You’re so weird.”
“What’s weird about salvaging perfectly good technology?” asked Tanner. “Destiny may not have been very good at war games, but she has a real knack for planning interesting sex dates for the Society.”
“One sex date, coming right up,” said Destiny in her cheery British accent.
“That won’t be necessary,” said Tanner. “Ash and I are just going to have a quiet night in. Speaking of which…Destiny, meet Ash.”
“Good evening, Ash,” said Destiny.
“Hi,” I said. It felt weird talking to someone I couldn’t see. At least with Alexa she had a little terminal that lit up. But with Destiny, she was just kind of…everywhere? I looked around but didn’t see anything that looked like it could be her.
“Be careful, Master,” said Destiny. “Ash is probably going to fuck your houseboy while you’re not looking.”
“What!?” I yelled at her. “What have I ever done to you?”
“Nothing,” she replied. “Which is kind of the problem, you stupid little cock tease.”
I opened my mouth in shock. That bitch!
Tanner laughed. “That’s enough, Destiny. You’re dismissed.”
“Yes, master,” she replied.
“What’s her problem with me?” I asked.
“Don’t let her bother you. I have her programmed to watch the day’s most popular Pornhub movies whenever she has free time. It helps her incorporate trendy kinks into Society dates, but it also makes her view the whole world as if she’s in a porno. For example, a few weeks ago when I came home from the office and there were three maids here stark naked and very eager to blow me. I politely declined, but I still had to pay the $5000 that Destiny had promised them.”
I laughed. I could just picture how surprised Tanner must have been. But then my amusement turned to horror. I didn’t really like the idea of Tanner having horny naked pornstar maids. “Wait, you have maids?”
“No. She hired them for the day.”
“Does Destiny do stuff like that often?”
“She has her moments. But she’s still the best $100 million I ever spent.”
“You seriously spent $100 million on a sex robot?”
“Yup. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Since she started, she’s doubled the success rate of helping women find love at the Society.”
Oh right, that’s why I’m here. “So if doubling your success rate is worth $100 million, what are you going to pay me when I free you from your curse completely? A billion?”
“Na, much more than that. Because as soon as this curse is broken, you’re going to own half of everything I have.”
Was that a marriage proposal? It kind of felt like it was. “Then I guess we should get started. I have lots of ideas for how… ”
Tanner silenced me with a kiss. But it only lasted a second. He grabbed my arms and started trailing kisses down my chest.
“I thought you were hungry?” I asked. He’d only eaten a few nuggets.
“I am,” he said as he nipped at one of my breasts. “But I’ve had enough nuggets. The only thing I want to eat now is your pussy.”
I gulped as Tanner pushed my thighs open and forced my skirt up around my waist. The cold granite under my naked thighs made me shiver. Or maybe it was the thought of what Tanner was about to do to me.
Usually he teased me endlessly. But tonight he was ravenous. He yanked my thong down my legs - tearing it a bit in the process - and threw it across the room. And then his mouth was on me.
Holy. Shit. After all this time. All the teasing. He was finally giving me what I desired most. Well…second most. What I desired most was off limits. His tongue was one hell of a replacement, though.
“Oh God,” I moaned as his lips parted and his tongue darted out against my clit. I threw my hands back onto the counter to steady myself, forgetting all about our food. Both wine glasses smashed to the ground. But Tanner didn’t even flinch.
He pushed my thighs wider as his tongue swirled around my lips in a slow, torturous circle. And then he found the sweet spot, plunging into me with a fierce hunger.
“Tanner,” I moaned. I thrust my hips forward to push him deeper. He was more than happy to oblige .
But he pulled back far too soon.
“Your pussy tastes so fucking good,” he groaned, locking eyes with me as he licked all the way up my pussy and against my clit.
A noise from the other room made me look over. Shit! “What if Nigel sees us?” But I didn’t sound nervous. I sounded excited.
Tanner smiled up at me. “I don’t mind an audience. Do you?”
“Yes I mind!”
“Then why did you just thrust toward my face again?”
I had no answer for that. Which was fine, because he seemed much more interested in continuing to tease me with his tongue. But I didn’t want to be teased. I wanted to be fucking pleased. So I grabbed a fistful of his hair and took what I wanted, and he didn’t mind one bit. In fact, he reached up and helped me push. Inviting me to push his tongue deeper. Begging me to push him deeper.
Fuck. His nose pressed into my clit and my whole body tensed. But that just sent him even deeper. It felt like I only held him down for a second, but it easily could have been five or ten. Hell, maybe it was a full minute. Honestly, I could have held him there for hours. But he needed to breathe.
“I love your tongue,” I said as I let him up for air.
He just smiled and got back to work, grabbing my ass and sliding me closer to the edge of the counter. I thrust my hips towards him. The change in angle sent his tongue even deeper. Every movement he made drove me crazy. Brought me closer to the edge. For a second I wondered how many women he’d practiced on, but one flick of his tongue made me realize I didn’t fucking care.
Because right now, my body was the only one he wanted. I’d never felt so desired. God, his tongue was better than anything else I’d ever experienced.
I was about to push on his head again, but I didn’t need to. He had found his rhythm. Lick, swirl, flick. Lick, swirl, flick.
“Don’t stop,” I moaned.
He nodded, the motion pushing his nose against my clit again.
My whole body tensed as he gorged on my pussy. I’d never known that a guy could love this so much. But the way he was kneeling. The way he squeezed my ass and groaned against me… He was worshipping my body.
He looked up at me with his deep brown eyes and slid a finger inside of me to join in with his tongue. And then another finger as his tongue moved to my clit.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned as I completely lost control. My breathing hitched. My hands clawed at his back. My head flew back in pleasure. And something happened in my lady bits that felt better than anything I’d ever felt in the whole fucking world. All my stress and worries and fear all vanished.
Tanner just kept going, and so did my orgasm. It took a full thirty seconds before I regained control of my body.
Holy shit I’m wet. I’d never been so wet in my entire life. It felt like the entire counter was soaked. And when I looked at Tanner, I realized why. His mouth and chin were dripping with my juices.
Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. Did I just pee all over his face?
“I should have known you’d be a squirter,” said Tanner with a huge smile.
“I’m a what?”
His smile turned smug. “I guess no one’s ever made you do that before?”
I shook my head. Of course I’d never freaking done that before! I was pretty sure I was sitting in a puddle of pee and I wasn’t sure why he looked so damn happy with himself.
He wiped his face and then licked the liquid off his hand. “Delicious.”
Okay…definitely not pee. But even if it was, I wasn’t sure I would have cared. “That was the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life.”
He licked me once more and then stood up. “Oh, that was just the appetizer.” He tore off his lady-juice-soaked shirt and tossed it across the kitchen. “And tonight, I’m having at least a six-course meal.”
Yes! I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Not after months of pent-up sexual frustration.
He grabbed my waist and lifted me over his shoulder. His hand immediately went to my bare ass as he carried me through his vast apartment. I’d never seen so many hallways and doors. And we christened every one of them with a kiss. No, not a kiss. It was more of a battle. He’d slam me up against a doorway and make out with me, and then I’d squirm away and end up pinned against a wall. We knocked over at least one lamp and a few other unknown pieces of furniture, but neither of us cared one bit. Somewhere along the way he literally tore my skirt off.
Eventually he slammed me through a door and gave me a push, sending me sprawling onto the softest bed I’d ever felt. It was like falling onto a giant cloud. Especially because the ceiling was made entirely of glass, revealing a spectacular view of the stars above. But I could care less about the stars. We may have been in the heavens, but the only god I cared about was Tanner.
He grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the edge of the bed. I thought he was going to start eating my pussy again like he had in the kitchen, but now his motions were slow and deliberate. He ran his hands across my breasts and down my stomach, inspecting every inch of me.
Blue uplighting bathed our bodies in a soft blue glow, perfectly accentuating every muscle in his chiseled body. I reached out and traced the contours of his abs.
“Do you want more?” he asked as he put his hair up into a bun.
“No. I need more. I need you. All of you.”
“Is my mouth not enough?” He started kissing down my torso, getting ever closer to my pussy.
“It is. But I want to feel your cock inside of me.”
“Soon,” he whispered against my skin. “So soon.” And then his lips found their target.
I leaned back onto the pillowy mattress while Tanner worked his magic on my aching pussy. He’d been stripped of his genie magic, but it didn’t make an ounce of difference. I’d take this magic any day.
My second release came much faster than my first. And somehow I squirted even more. But Tanner just smiled and kept going. I never wanted this to stop. And it didn’t have to. I came again a second later. And again. And again.
I couldn’t tell you how many times I came that night. But I do know that Tanner had asked for a six-course meal, and he’d definitely gotten it.