Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Ferris
He let me set the temperature: not quite scalding hot but close.
He let me set the pressure: not enough to take my skin off but way stronger than I ever got at the frat house.
Quinn was amazing, and the longer I was with him, the more I realized that even if I couldn’t have him, maybe there was someone else out there who’d take care of me as well as he did. Someone who didn’t see my needs and quirks as a burden.
We stepped under the spray together, and he grabbed a washcloth, coating it in the hotel soap, which smelled bright and citrusy without being overwhelming. The first pass over my stomach was heaven. Then he went for my neck, my arms, my dick, and my balls.
A moment later, he dropped down—one knee bent and the other stretched out with his toes touching the wall. I could see the surgery scars—long, jagged lines, a bright white against his tanned skin.
“If that hurts,” I started, but he smiled and shook his head.
“It’s awkward, but it doesn’t hurt.” He was balanced almost fully on one knee as he began to lather up my legs. My cock perked up, and he snorted a laugh, glancing up at me again as he ran his fingers over my thickening shaft. He had water dripping off his long, dark lashes.
“Is this for me?”
“You’re really sexy. You make me horny,” I admitted.
His cheeks flushed, and he shook his head.
“The way you say that.” It wasn’t a complete sentence, but it was enough.
He liked the way I spoke, and that was…new.
He made me feel like I didn’t need to double-, triple-, and quadruple-think everything that slipped past my lips and tongue. “Can I put my mouth on you?”
My eyes widened. “Like—?”
He cradled my dick in his palm, looking up at me.
“I want to get you hard and needy. When we’re done with the shower, I’d like to take you to my bed and finger you.
” The way he just said it, like…like it was just a thing he wanted to do?
Fuck. “Then you can tell me exactly how you want to lose the rest of your virginity.”
It took me a long moment to find my words. “Yes.” The word came out raspy and small, but he still heard me.
Quinn smiled, then gently eased me back against the tiles. They were warm now, and not as jarring as my skin pressed against them, and he carefully moved my feet further apart so I didn’t fall. “Hold on to me. Put your hands in my hair,” he said.
I obeyed, almost like I had no control over my limbs. His locks were wet and coarse—short but still with enough grip that I could keep myself steady. When I tightened my fingers, he groaned and nodded, then surged forward and ran his nose along the length of my dick.
“Shit.” It thickened, and though the urge to come wasn’t as intense, it was still there, thrumming at the base of my spine. “I—I might—I might come again.”
“Do it,” he said. “Right in my mouth if you want.”
My head fell back with a heavy, stinging thud, but the pain was nice. It distracted me from the intensity of Quinn’s lips, which immediately fit over the head of my cock. I couldn’t meet his gaze, but I could feel it on me as he gave a gentle suck.
“Oh god, oh god.”
He hummed, the vibrations coursing through my skin, and my balls ached again.
I wasn’t going to last. I’d had a couple of marathon jack-off sessions in my late teens when I first discovered the kind of porn I liked, but it hadn’t felt like this.
This was a desperation I didn’t know humans could feel.
I hadn’t been this fucking close and this fucking needy before in my life.
“If you want me to stop and can’t find the words, tap me on the shoulder,” he said, pulling off just long enough to speak.
I didn’t have time to appreciate that he’d noticed I would occasionally struggle to talk because he fit his mouth right back around me, but this time, he sank forward, taking me all the way to the back of his throat.
Christ, I was going to die of ecstasy. Hell, maybe I had died already, and this was heaven.
Had I been that good in life?
My fingers tightened in his hair as he began to bob his head, taking me all the way in, then out, almost to the very tip. He swirled his tongue around, then dipped it into my slit, groaning like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
My mouth watered. I wanted this. I wanted to do this to him. I wanted to spread him out and make him squirm. But I wasn’t sure he’d say yes if I asked. He seemed hyperfocused on me, and maybe that was his way of coping with this situation.
He sucked harder, like he was trying to distract me from my thoughts, and oh god, it was working. “I’m—I…fuck,” I gasped. “Come…coming. Think I’m…”
He sped up, the sound wet and sloppy and better than any porn I had ever listened to in my life. He slurped around me, and then his palm cupped my balls, rolling them between his fingers with just the right amount of pleasure that I couldn’t hold on.
My knees went weak, and he caught me before I collapsed. The pressure of his hands on my hips and the fact that doing it made him take my dick all the way to the hilt was too much. I shuddered, groaned, then let go.
He swallowed around me as I came. It wasn’t nearly as much as the first time, and I was more sensitive as the orgasm began to wane. Luckily—somehow—he was still paying attention, and he pulled off before it became painful.
My vision was a little foggy, but I could see him well enough when I looked down, and he swiped his hand across his slightly swollen lips before climbing to his feet. It took him a bit of effort since he couldn’t bend his knee, but I offered him both my hands, and he used me to steady himself.
“Sorry. I’m not as graceful as I used to be.”
I stared at him with wide eyes. “Please don’t apologize for that. You are maybe the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life.”
He sucked in a breath, then touched my jaw. “You actually mean that, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” I really, really did.
Closing his eyes, he gathered me close and hugged me tight. That one was very obviously for him, so I squeezed him until his body relaxed, and then he reached around me and turned off the water. “Something tells me you prefer to dry on your own.”
I laughed, feeling a little self-conscious. “I’m transparent, I guess. And picky.”
“I think you’re just particular. And I like that.”
He held the shower door open, then handed me a towel, and I wrapped up because the feeling of cold air after a hot shower was almost unbearable. But the scratchy, starched towels were worse.
I couldn’t focus on anything until I was mostly dry, and I scrubbed at my hair so it didn’t drip down my neck. When I was done, Quinn had already left the bathroom, and I took a moment to stare at myself in the mirror.
I looked the same. Brown eyes, olive skin, thick black hair falling in loose waves around my face. I had my same sharp jawline and full lips that seemed maybe a bit fuller from all the kissing I’d done.
But otherwise, I was still me. Still just…
Ferris.
I don’t know why I expected to look different after losing my virginity that way.
I supposed it was a comfort knowing I could walk back into the house and no one would know what I’d done. Well, except Colton and probably Eli and Cosmo, if not a few of the other guys in our year, because Colton did have a big fucking mouth. But it wasn’t going to be some big scandal.
The secret that this had been my first time would still be safe. The only one who knew that was Quinn, and deep down, I believed with every fiber of my being that he would keep that to himself.
“Ferris? If you’re changing your mind—” came Quinn’s voice from beyond the bathroom door.
“No!” Wow, okay, that was a little too eager. I turned away from the mirror and walked into the bedroom, where Quinn was lounging on the bed, both legs stretched out in front of him. Oh god, he was naked.
Oh god, I was naked.
I didn’t know why that mattered now. Why it was so much more profoundly obvious now that we were out of the shower, but a strange self-consciousness crept over me, and my chest went hot.
My hand flew down to cover my dick, which was half-hard again, and I realized there was no point. He’d already seen all of me. Like…all of me. He’d touched me in places I hadn’t even touched myself yet.
It was impossible not to feel utterly seen, but I didn’t feel mocked, even when he let out a soft chuckle as he watched me flail.
“You were saying?” he pressed.
I took a deep breath, then walked toward the bed. “I haven’t changed my mind. Um.” I thumbed behind me. “I wanted to see if I…”
“Had any marks?”
My skin heated. I hadn’t even looked for those, damn it! “No, um. If I looked different?”
He sat up a little and made grabby hands at me. My body obeyed the wordless command as I shuffled over and finally found myself within touching distance. He didn’t grab like I expected. He just coasted a touch down both of my arms as he took me in.
“You look the same,” he finally murmured.
Wrapping his massive hands around my hips, he kept going until they were cupping my ass.
I had a sudden and wild urge to sit in them.
Instead, I gripped the tops of his shoulders and leaned forward, allowing him to take a lot of my weight. “You look good,” he said very softly.
“How do you, uh…how should I…” I didn’t know how to ask where he wanted me and not sound completely fucking na?ve.
He grinned and pulled one hand away so he could cup my jaw. “Do you still want to top, or have you changed your mind about that?”
I jolted. He just…said the words. Just like that.
Now I knew how people felt when what little filter I had burned out.
“Um.” The truth was, I hadn’t figured out much past my plan to lose my virginity.
I hadn’t exactly thought it through. Asking him to have sex with me had been a total spur-of-the-moment thing, so…
“Hey, it’s okay.”
Why was he—oh. I was shaking. I wriggled my whole body for a second and then said, “Can I sit?”