Chapter 5 #2
He leaned back, taking me with him until I was straddling his thighs. His hard dick was right there, lying on his stomach, plump and darkly flushed and gorgeous. I wanted to suck on it. To see how the weight of it felt on my tongue. How it tasted.
I licked my lips, and he chuckled again, dragging a touch over my collarbone as his eyes followed my gaze. “You can taste me if you want.”
“Did I say that out loud?” My ears were burning with mortification. My inability to keep my thoughts inside my head was going to kill me.
“No. I just recognized the look on your face. It was the same look I had when I first saw your dick.” He reached out and gripped my cock, giving it a single stroke from root to tip. I groaned and thrust into the circle of his fingers, and he let me chase the sensation before letting me go.
“Fuck,” I gasped.
“Not yet.” His words were careful and tender, even as they were commanding. “Not yet, okay? I don’t want you to run out of steam before this is over, and I think when we finally get to that part, it’s going to take you out.”
Right. And it would also be over then. That would be the big finale. The conclusion. This wasn’t a forever thing. It wasn’t even for a little while. It was one and done.
The moment he dropped me back off at my place, that was it.
And that was what I wanted…right?
It had to be.
With my chest tight, I eased back away from him, then shuffled until I was situated on the mattress between his spread legs. I could see his scars up close now, and they were deeply cut.
“This one is from the accident,” he said, touching one that didn’t have any straight lines or symmetry. It went from mid-thigh to just past his knee. “The rest are from the surgeries that saved my leg.”
“I’m sorry. It still hurts?”
“A lot of my nerves are dead,” he admitted.
His voice was tight, and I could tell that he didn’t like talking about it.
I forced my gaze up and met his. He deserved the eye contact—as much of it as I could give.
And while I would never, ever naturally be able to look at him like this, he was one of the few people who didn’t make it hurt.
His eyes were so…soft. So pretty. “My knee won’t bend more than about twenty-five degrees, and it hurts all the way down to my toes when I try. ”
I ran my fingers over it, and his entire body twitched. I yanked my hand back. “Sorry.”
“No.” He seized my wrist and dragged my touch back. “That feels nice. Most people don’t want to—ah…” He took a pause. “I don’t get touched there a lot. I don’t hate the way your hands feel.”
I pressed a little harder, dragging my fingers along each scar. The sensation of them was…interesting. Different. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. I wanted to explore, but then his dick twitched again, and I remembered what I was supposed to be doing.
“Can I suck you without a condom?”
Something caught in his chest, and he had a tiny coughing fit. “Ah. That’s up to you, gorgeous.”
My neck felt all hot when he called me that. “I…well. It’s…” I took a beat to find my words. “You’ve been tested, right? I really don’t want to get herpes on my mouth. And I know it would be silly to trust you because you could just lie and then disappear, and never face the consequences, but—”
He cupped my jaw to stop my rambling. “First of all, you know exactly who I am, so it’s not like I could actually disappear.
Secondly, I hope you trust me a little. I haven’t had unprotected sex since a couple of drunk nights when I was nineteen.
I was tested regularly when I was playing, and I’ve been tested several times since.
I also haven’t been with anyone casually in about five years.
” His thumb grazed my lower lip as my eyes widened.
Five years? That couldn’t be possible. This man was so fucking beautiful—how did he keep people away from him?
“I have my last round of results on my phone if you want to see.”
I nodded. That was the responsible thing to do, right? I didn’t really know what was socially appropriate. I never heard the guys talking about it, though a few of them had bitched about the dick swab after a wild night. But all I could think about were those little sex-ed PSAs from middle school.
Quinn rumbled a laugh as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, and with a few swipes of his finger, he had his email up. “There you go. Just click on it. That way, you can tell it’s not some doctored screenshot I grabbed off Google Images.”
“D-do people do that?”
“People do a lot of ridiculous things to get laid,” he said with a shrug.
My fingers were still a little shaky as I clicked open the email and then tapped the attachment.
The truth was, I didn’t know what I was reading at all.
I’d never done this, and my parents were always the ones to handle any blood tests that I’d gotten, but after my eyes threatened to go crossed, I finally found something.
Negative. Negative. Six times.
“That’s a lot of tests.”
“I also got a prostate exam and a filling in my molar the day I got this done,” he said, grinning as he took the phone back and set it down with a thud.
A moment of silence passed, and then he took both my hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing my knuckles.
“You’re sweet—and I don’t mean that in a patronizing way, Ferris.
I have no business getting even a single night with you, but I’m grateful you trust me. ”
I didn’t know what to say, and I was terrible at taking compliments. I wanted to put my hand over his face and shove him.
“You can suck me however you want,” he went on. “Or not at all. Some people like it with a condom because they hate the taste of jizz. Some people can’t stand latex, so they prefer to go bare. You get to choose what you want to try.”
I took a breath in through my nose, then freed my hands and pressed them over his pecs. He groaned and arched into me, so I rubbed harder, watching the flush crawl over his skin. God, why couldn’t I have this all the time? Why couldn’t my life be different?
I didn’t want to give him up.
But there was no point in wallowing, so I shuffled down and put a tentative hand on his cock. “I want to taste you. Um. And…” I closed my eyes and realized that my mind actually had changed. “I want you to be inside me.”
He jolted, then said, “You sure?” His voice was all thready and weak. “Earlier, you said—”
“I know.” My words cut him off. I looked up at his face, and yeah, he was definitely turned on. “But I’m sure.”
If I had to walk away from this, I wanted to walk away after giving myself to him because who the fuck knew when I’d find a man like him again. I wasn’t going to let this moment slip by me.
I wanted my first time like that with a man who I trusted would take care of my body.
And he would.
After a moment, Quinn nodded, and then he pushed his fingers into my hair. “Do you want some help with this part?”
“I want to do it right. I want it to feel good for you.”
He closed his eyes with his groan. “It will. But if I’m going to fuck you, you can only have a taste, okay? If I come in your mouth, it’ll be over for the night.” He sounded angry, but I knew he wasn’t. He was losing control.
Squeezing his cock in my hand, I tilted the head up toward my lips, then parted them and fit them around the tip.
I immediately tasted something…weird. It was sour and salty and kind of musky, like old cheese.
His skin smelled nice from the shower, with an undercurrent of that scent I always got walking into a public bathroom.
Oh god, was that the smell of come? Were dudes coming in shared bathrooms?
Shut up, Ferris! I shouted at my brain. Shut up and enjoy this!
Taking a breath, I let my lips relax and took him further. The moment his cock touched my tongue, I gagged a bit, but when he tried to pull back, I didn’t let him. “Nuh-uh,” I managed with my mouth full of dick.
He laughed through a shudder. “Okay, okay. Just…stop when you want.”
I nodded, then sucked a little as I let my lips go further.
The urge to gag was even stronger now, but as I rolled my tongue around him, it got better.
The taste wasn’t so bad. It was still a little salty—almost like licking sweat off skin.
He was hot and thick and throbbing a little, and every now and again, he’d pulse and dribble more precome into my mouth.
“That’s so good,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “You’re so good, Ferris. You’re so fucking perfect at this.”
His praise was like a wave of fire over my skin, but it didn’t hurt. It was a slow, careful, glorious burn. My cock throbbed between my legs, and I rocked it against the sheets as I sucked him harder and a little faster, bobbing my head.
“Shit, shit. Ferris, sweetheart, baby. You gotta stop.”
The moment my ears registered stop, I pulled off him with a loud pop, shooting him a horrified glance. “Oh my god, I’m so sorr—”
I didn’t get the chance to finish my apology. He grabbed me and yanked me into a hard kiss. It took me a second through his moving lips and dancing tongue to realize he was talking through it.
“So good, so amazing, Ferris…” He groaned as he eased back.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to get out.
He shook his head. “No. I was too close.” He dragged a finger down the side of my neck, pressing hard where my pulse was racing. “You are so obedient.”
I didn’t know if that was a good thing, but it felt like one of the best compliments I had ever been paid, coming from him.
“I need a moment, okay? Because if I try to fuck you when I feel like this, I’m going to shoot off the moment I’m inside you.”
I shuddered and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.” I gripped my cock and gave it a few squeezes, and Quinn turned his head like he couldn’t bear to watch.
“Lay on top of me, yeah? I’m going to finger you while I calm down.”
“I—oh. Um. Okay.” That sounded…Christ, so good. I went pliant as he dragged me on top of him, and while one arm situated me with my entire front pressed to his, his free hand searched a crinkling bag inside the nightstand drawer, and he came out with a tube that looked a bit like toothpaste.
“Silicone-based,” he murmured when he saw my frown. “It’s what I prefer, and it’ll feel very good for your first time.”
I was nervous now, but I let out a slow breath and nodded before pressing my ear to his chest. “Um. I haven’t…you know.”
He waited a second, then said, “I don’t know, sweetheart.”
Oh god, was he going to keep calling me that? I sat up. “Um. An…an enema? I read that it was best if you—”
“Ah. No. I mean, yes. It can make it less potentially messy, but it’s not necessary. We’ll be fine.”
But…what if I shit a little? I would never, ever, ever get over that mortification. I would never have sex again. But he seemed confident. It was catching, and I lay back down against him and let his hands soothe me again until I was fully relaxed.
The moment I was boneless, I heard the click of the lube cap and tensed up again.
“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Just breathe. Feel it. Enjoy it. I’m going to make it so fucking good for you.”
God, why did I believe this stranger in ways I had never believed anyone else in my life?