Chapter 11 #2
I indulge in a few more minutes in the coziness of the blankets before forcing myself to get up and start my day. I finally get a reprieve from work, but I still need to go apartment hunting, and I suppose look into getting a car at some point.
First, a pit stop in the bathroom. I do my business, then wash my hands and brush my teeth. I splash some cool water on my face, then comb my messy hair with my fingers, trying my best to look presentable. It’s hard given what I have to work with, but it’ll do. I reach for my pants and?—
“What the fuck?” I mutter out loud.
Where the hell are my pants? I took them off last night, folded them, and set them right here on the counter. I look in the bedroom, just in case I’m remembering wrong, but they’re not there either. They’re gone. Poof. Nowhere to be found. I guess I’m walking out there with no pants on.
Gavin is standing at the stove when I reach the living room, his back to me.
He’s wearing a pair of gray joggers and a black t-shirt.
It stretches across his back as he flips whatever is in the pan, and I’m glued to my spot, mesmerized by it.
I remember watching those muscles jump when he was doing something else, when he had me pinned against the hotel wall as he drove into me again and again.
A shiver rolls down my back at the thought, and I clear my throat. He spins around at the sound, eyes wide. The surprised look on his face doesn’t last for long, slowly transforming into one I am all too familiar with when it comes to him.
Desire.
His hazel gaze rakes over me slowly, from my pillow-ruffled blonde hair, over his shirt that hugs my breasts, to where the material kisses the tops of my knees.
It’s a carnal look. Fiery. Hungry. Warmth pools in my lower belly as I force myself to move closer and pretend he’s not looking at me like he’s thinking of having me for breakfast. He shakes his head like he’s knocking himself out of his stupor and clears his throat.
“Uh, good morning,” he says, his voice a touch deeper than usual. “How’d you sleep?”
“I just had the best rest of my life,” I say, slipping onto a stool at the counter. “I don’t know if that bed is made with heaven’s clouds or what, but it’s incredible.”
He grins. “It is, isn’t it? Makes it hard to go on the road sometimes. Not that Auden’s hotels aren’t up to snuff, but nothing beats your own bed.”
I used to love my bed too. That was until I thought of all the times Neal could have brought his secretary there, and I began to hate it. One night in a fit of rage, I dragged it out of the house and threw it on the curb. I slept on the couch for months afterward until we finally sold the house.
I want that again, though. I want a place where I feel safe. Somewhere that feels like home. A place where I can be myself. It’s why I need to get a move on finding an apartment, so I can have that back.
“What time is it?”
“Five to eleven.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I wince, and he laughs. “Sorry. It’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever slept this late in my life, not even in college. I must have been more exhausted than I thought. I—oh my gosh!”
I glance around the kitchen, looking for my purse.
“What’s wrong?”
“Have you seen my bag?”
“I put it by the door.” He points to the counter. “But your phone is here charging.”
He…charged my phone for me? Did he go through my purse too? Look at my texts?
“I didn’t snoop through anything, I promise. You had an alarm going off this morning, and I remember you said you didn’t have to work, so I figured I’d let you sleep. I noticed your phone was at fifteen percent, so I plugged it in for you. I didn’t look at anything else, I swear.”
I believe him. Gavin doesn’t strike me as that kind of guy. To be fair, I did nose around in his bathroom cabinets last night, so tit for tat and all that, but still.
I slide off the stool and grab my phone. I bypass the emails from apartments probably turning me down and the texts from my dad and Angie and go straight for the one from Reed.
Reed: Born at 3:34 AM. Alana Marie Hutchinson. She’s perfect.
I smile instantly, knowing Marie is a nod to Reed’s mother’s middle name, and my smile grows even wider when I see the photo he sent along. He’s right—Alana is perfect. A little bundle of pink, her nose just like her father’s, hair as dark as her mother’s.
“She’s cute, right?” Gavin says.
I blink away the tears stinging my eyes. “She is. She looks like Reed.”
“Poor kid.”
I laugh. “Poor Auden. Now she’s really stuck with him.”
He grins at me as he flips the food again. “You hungry?”
“Starving.”
“I thought you might be. Just need to finish this, then grab the plates, and we’ll be good to go.”
“Oh, I can help.”
I pull open the cabinet beside me, and by some miracle, it has just what I’m looking for.
Unfortunately for me, Gavin is a giant, which means his plates aren’t exactly reachable, even with my height.
I push up on my tiptoes, trying to reach them, but it’s no use.
I lift my leg to climb onto the counter, and that’s when I feel him.
He’s behind me, and he’s reaching for the plates, but it’s so much more than just that. He’s pressing up against me, and there is absolutely no mistaking how perfectly his cock lines up with my ass because I can feel it. I can feel him , and I want to feel more.
I want him to push my shirt— his shirt—up around my waist and slip my panties to the side. I want him to drop to his knees behind me and worship me with his tongue. Then I want him to slide his cock into me just like he did in the shower in New York. I just want him.
But I can’t have him.
It was nothing. Just a night of fun. It didn’t mean anything.
His words echo in my mind, and though they’re not the ice bucket I wish they were, it’s enough to clear my mind of the images assaulting me.
“Um, Gavin?” I manage to say.
“Yeah?” he asks, breath hot against my ear.
“Where are my pants?”
The question brings us both crashing back down to earth, and he pushes away from me, plates in hand. If I weren’t struggling so hard to breathe, I’d think I imagined the whole thing. I settle my feet back on the floor, taking my time before turning to look at him.
“Dryer,” he tells me. “I, uh, threw them in the wash this morning. I know how you hate to smell like the bar. They should be done within the hour.”
He washed my clothes. I can’t believe this man washed my clothes.
Unprovoked. And because of something I said weeks ago.
He charged my phone, he gave me a bed to sleep in because he knows I’ve been struggling, and he’s making me breakfast. I can’t remember a time I ever felt so taken care of, and I don’t know what to do with that.
“Oh.” I brush my hair behind my ear. “Uh, thank you. That was kind.”
“No problem,” he mutters before giving me his back and plating our food.
I pour us each a glass of orange juice while he does that, then settle onto the stool just as he sets the plates down. We eat in silence, and while it doesn’t feel comfortable, it’s not as awkward as I would expect either, and not just because I’m half-dressed.
When we’re finished, I try to help clean up, but Gavin refuses, making me sit there and watch as he rinses off our plates and puts them in the dishwasher. I want to help so badly, but the last thing we need is another incident like the one that ended with me pressed against the counter.
So I don’t. I sit at the counter on my phone, checking the emails I disregarded earlier.
I have not one, not two, but three rejections from different properties I applied for.
Two are because they have no units available, and the third is because, apparently, I applied to a 55-plus community complex.
“Everything okay?”
I look up to find Gavin staring at me with concern.
“It’s just…” I shake my head. “It’s nothing.”
“Come on. We’re friends, right? Friends talk.”
Shit. He’s got me there.
I sigh, my shoulders dropping with the weight of my issues.
“I’ve been trying to find a place to rent that doesn’t completely break my budget, and I’m not having very good luck.
Everywhere I’ve looked is out of my price range when I get the real numbers from them or full for at least the next few months.
I can’t wait a few more months. Reed and Auden just had their baby.
I’m sure they don’t want to be raising their child with a freeloading, pathetic divorcee stepsister hanging around. ”
He gives me a sharp look. “You’re not a freeloader, for one. And two, I think I have a solution to your problem.”
That has me perking back up. “You do?”
“Sure. You can live here.”
And right back down my shoulders go. “Ha. Very funny.”
But he doesn’t smile. He doesn’t say Just kidding or Gotcha . No, he stares at me stoically.
Oh my god. He means it!
“Gavin, you’re… That’s…” I shake my head. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“What.”
It’s not even a question because I can’t wrap my head around how he’d have an answer. I can’t live here. That’s just ridiculous. For obvious reasons and so many others I can’t quite name right now, but they exist.
He shrugs. “I’m not joking. Live here. I am days away from diving into a very intense 82-game schedule, and I’m going to be on the road for half of it. I’m not going to be here that often, so why not? You’d practically have the place to yourself. Besides, you’d be doing me a favor.”
“How?”
“I need someone to take care of Pearl and Rufus.”
“And Sir Fishsticks the Fourth. With parenting skills like that, I’m starting to understand how you got to a fourth.” I raise an eyebrow.
He chuckles. “And Fishsticks, too, of course. I used to have one of my neighbor’s kids feed everyone, but they left over the summer for a semester abroad.”
“What were you going to do, then?”
“Probably try to talk the security guard into doing it.”
I can’t believe his nonchalance. Not just about giving the security guard free rein to his penthouse, but about asking me to move in here.
I can’t live with Gavin. It’s just not possible.
We have a history together. We already have secrets we’re keeping from Reed—what would he think about it?
I can’t imagine he would approve of the idea of me living with his teammate.
He doesn’t seem to want me in his life all that much, and this would really be crossing a line.
Plus, I’m still clearly attracted to Gavin, and if his hard dick brushing up against my ass earlier was telling at all, the feeling is mutual. That’s just a recipe for disaster.
“You’re thinking about it too much.” He pushes off the counter, moving closer, and I’m drowned in that scent of his I can’t quite get out of my system.
“It’s completely innocent. Just two people helping each other out.
And besides, it’s not permanent. You can leave as soon as you find a place to rent, and I won’t even be mad that I’m losing my pet sitter.
It would just mean a good night’s sleep in the meantime. ”
He’s right. I had the best sleep of my life last night. The way his bed enveloped me as if it were specifically made for me was…ugh, it was euphoric. I want to go crawl back into it as we speak.
“I thought you said you didn’t have another bedroom.”
“Correction: I said I don’t have another bed . I have two other rooms.”
“Two?!”
I sound ridiculous right now. I know that, and judging by the smirk on Gavin’s face, he knows that too. I’m just trying to wrap my head around how we went from having breakfast to him asking me to move in.
“I had a rookie staying with me when I first joined the team, but he’s moved on to bigger and better things, so one room is practically empty, and the other holds my hockey stuff. You can take your pick on which one you want.”
I nod, remembering back when Reed first started in the NHL and lived with one of his older teammates for the first year. I always thought that was such a selfless act, giving up part of your home to help someone else.
Kind of like what Gavin is attempting to do now.
I know he’s just trying to be a nice guy.
He can say he’s only offering because it benefits him, but I know better.
He’d have easily found someone else to take care of his fish.
He’s just being kind. Too kind, and I can’t take advantage of that… can I?
It would be wrong on so many levels, but it would also solve so many of my problems. While Reed has been nice enough over the last few weeks, he hasn’t completely hidden his desire for me to move out. And I get it. I truly do. It’s part of what makes this offer so tempting.
Well, that and the fact that I am having no luck finding a place on my own. The baby is here. My time is up. Should I really be looking a gift horse in the mouth?
“Look, I fully understand your reservations, Nessa,” Gavin says when I don’t say anything. “They’re valid. But I swear it has nothing to do with New York. This is just two friends helping each other out. That’s all.”
It was nothing. Just a night of fun. It didn’t mean anything.
There are those words again. Maybe it was nothing.
Maybe it was just a night of fun. Maybe it didn’t mean anything.
Then what happened just thirty minutes ago?
When he pressed against me and I felt just how un friendly he was feeling toward me?
Was it a slip-up? A total accident? Something that will certainly never happen again?
I don’t know the answer to any of those questions, and more than that, I don’t think I want to. Because he’s right, this is just friends helping each other out, and I could really use a tick in the win column.
I exhale slowly, then nod. “All right. I’ll stay here and help you with your fish—but only until I find something else. I won’t take advantage of you any more than that.”
“Oh, love,” he says with a grin. “I wouldn’t mind at all if you took advantage of me.”
He’s teasing. I know he is, but all it does is remind me of what a bad idea this is. Even so, I don’t take back what I just said. Instead, I extend my hand over the counter. Gavin does the same, his palm sliding against mine.
Just friends, just friends, just friends , I chant to myself.
“Welcome aboard, roomie.”
He smiles, and I smile back.
But on the inside? I know this man could be my downfall, and that scares me for more reasons than one.