Chapter 9 Alexandria
ALEXANDRIA
My Dearest Alexandria,
I pray you’ll never have to read this, I hope we’ll be reunited long before you break this seal, but my only thought now is to get you and your brother to safety. It’s breaking my heart to say goodbye. I desperately want you and Max to survive.
I fear our kingdom is lost for good. If only your father were still here, he always knew what to do.
He loved you so much, you need to know it, please remember he laid down his life for you.
But now we aren’t safe here, not anymore.
I don’t want to do this, but it’s my duty.
I have to keep you safe. Lady Ana and Laird Stewart are waiting for you, and will care for you until I return.
Please know I didn’t want this. I only hope that sometime beyond this day, we will be returned to each other and to our throne.
You are born of a line that holds the power of time. Please don’t forget that. Even if all feels lost, the sky is everywhere, in every age it is the same, and the wind whispers your name. My sweet Alexandria, I will bring you home.
Hold your brother’s hand. Tell him I am proud. Tell him to forgive me for sending you away.
My love is bound to you, across years and kingdoms.
—Your Mother, Livvy,
Queen of Riaghalbane, 2175
...pray that we may remain safe and protected from every storm...
Tears streamed down my face. I thought, All I do is cry. But this was my mother, my real mother, writing to me from some long ago time, when I was just a baby.
I turned the page around so Torin could read it. And waited until he was done to say, “It sounds like she was in a hurry, like it was dangerous.”
“Aye, but still she wrote tae ye.”
“How do I still have it and never read it? Why would they keep it from me?”
I felt such deep despair that Torin pushed me back on the couch and climbed over me, squeezing into the space behind me.
He put his arms around me so that he was spooning me, and wrapped his hands around mine.
I think his leg was even thrown across mine, on the couch in my front room, the room we barely ever used — and here I was using ‘we’ meaning my mother and father, but they weren’t…
and this was their room, but they were gone and now it was my room, and I was sobbing now, something about my big new husband just climbing on me and enveloping me and holding me, right then, meant everything to me.
“Why did you…?”
His voice was right behind my ear. “Because ye needed me.”
I nodded, “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I didn’t even really know her. I thought my mother was a whole ‘nother person altogether. ”
“Ye are crying for the loss of that little girl’s mother. I am sure she felt it verra deeply even if ye canna remember it much.”
I reached over, pulled the letter close, and held it in front of my tear-filled eyes.
“You were right, it doesn’t say anything important. It doesn’t tell me where they are, and where to find them.”
“There is a finality tae it, mo leannan.”
“She promised she would come if she could and she never did.”
He nestled his face in the back of my hair and said, “Aye. She dinna, she would hae if she could.”
“I didn’t even know she existed and now I’ll never know her.”
“It sounds as if she loved ye verra much.”
“I wonder what happened to my father? She said he laid down his life for us...”
He unloosed one of my hands, ran his hand down my hair, soothing me, then put his hand back and held on.
“I love you, Torin.”
“I love ye as well, Alexandria. I wish I could protect ye from this heartache.”
“I know if you could, you would.”
“Tis true.”
“Is this what it’s going to be like…?”
“What dost ye mean?”
“To be royal, to have to have so much danger all the time?”
He was quiet for a time.
Then he said, “I daena want tae frighten ye, Princess, yer family did a verra good job of protectin’ ye and ye hae lived a full life without much worry. Ye were saved from havin’ tae ken the danger all around ye, the villains lookin’ for ye—”
“I hate everyone for lying to me.”
He nodded. “But I think they thought twas for the best, and I believe they thought ye would be apart for a short time. They dinna ken twould be years. I doubt they knew ye were going tae be so long without them that ye would forget it all.”
We were whispering to each other and he was bringing me great comfort.
“Am I a terrible person that I forgot them?”
“Nae. Ye are a regular person, twas nae yer fault, everyone conspired tae keep the truth from ye.”
“I really hate them, everyone who lied to me. And that makes me feel terrible. And I need to call my Uncle, but I can’t bear it.”
“Ye hae time.”
I chuckled sadly. “So much time.” I stared at the letter from my mother. “I interrupted, I think you were about to tell me that this danger is nothing compared to what is in store for me.”
“Aye, tis what I was goin’ tae say.”
I turned in his arms and looked up at his face. “I’m sorry you took all of this on, you were living a cushy life—”
He chuckled. “Och nae, tis what ye think?”
“No, not really, I was being sarcastic — what was your life without me?”
“Twas bleak and dark and cold, ye hae brought life tae me, and warmth. I was fightin’ for Max, but ye hae given me a cause I believe is worth fightin’ for m’self.”
I stroked my fingers down the side of his face. “Some might say you’ve taken on my cause along with Max’s, and that neither of them is for yourself.”
“They would be wrong, mo leannan, I hae married ye, we are one. Yer cause is m’own, yer wellbeing is my duty.”
His stomach growled loudly.
I said, “Let me feed you.”