Chapter 10 Alexandria
ALEXANDRIA
The afternoon was growing long, we had missed lunch long ago, and I was really hungry. “I don’t know what I have to cook. I should probably make you a fine meal, something amazing, but not sure…”
Then I asked, “What if I order a pizza, have you had pizza yet, my husband?”
“I daena ken what ye are saying.”
“Perfect. You’re in for a treat. I’ll order it in a few moments. I have promised to take you out and show you around the modern world, but I feel like staying in, this has been a lot.”
“Aye, this has been plenty.”
“You’re going to love pizza.”
I climbed from the couch and walked down the hall for my phone.
On the phone shelf in the hallway was a list of the local restaurants, and on the top was my favorite pizza delivery.
“You’re hungry now, right?” I looked at the clock.
“I guess it is close to dinner time, early bird, I’ll order it now, pizza. ”
I dialed the phone and ordered a large supreme, checking in the fridge. I had a few beers, but thought he might want more, so I got a twelve pack of beers too.
I returned to the couch and sat beside Torin.
Torin asked, “Where is this food?”
“After the store makes it they’ll deliver it here.”
He looked doubtful, shaking his head, “Ye daena hae tae cook it in the hearth?”
“Nope, I don’t have to do anything. But we should warn the guard and I’ll go get cleaned up. Too much crying.”
I returned a bit later, my face washed, freshened up with some makeup, wearing clean clothes, to find Torin sitting stiffly in the chair on the porch with Dude on his lap.
I came out, the screen door slamming behind me. “Waiting for the food?”
“Aye, I hae tae be ready for the man tae come tae the gates.”
I leaned against the rail.
From my perch I could see the guard walking the perimeter, and that made me feel safe.
Torin’s eyes swept the lawn, his demeanor watchful, made me feel even safer. His vibe reminded me of traveling with him through Scotland. “I miss it.”
He raised his chin. “What dost ye miss?”
“Scotland, you, me on the trail, traveling on horses.”
He chuckled. “Yer memories are fonder than yer experience, mo leannan. I daena think ye remember it well enough. Ye were verra unhappy at the time. And I thought ye were goin’ tae die.”
“True, but… I don’t know how to describe it, it was real — real scary, weird, uncomfortable, death-defying all at once. But I want to show you this world, my world, and it all seems boring in comparison.”
His eyes went wide. “Ye think this is borin’? From my seat I can see three things that I daena understand and are likely tae kill me for not understandin’ them. And when ye get tae talkin’ sometimes I daena understand half of what ye are sayin’.”
I grinned. “Like what?”
“Earlier ye said ‘Earlybirdiedeliverynowpizza.’ And while I think I ken what ye were saying, I mostly just think ye are bonny and daena worry on it.”
“When you’re saying something confusing I just think about how hot you are. This is our love language, I suppose, we can’t understand everything, but we like the look of each other.”
He shrugged.
“Did you understand when I said, ‘love language’?”
“I understand that ye are verra beautiful.”
I giggled. “I know it doesn’t make sense that I miss Scotland, but I do miss it.”
“Ye winna miss it for long, Princess.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why do you say that?”
“I am a Scottish man, and ye are m’wife, seems likely we will spend some time traveling through Scotland on horseback. I must reacquaint ye with the midges and dreich and drunken louts and wee biting bed beasties.” He grinned. “Did ye understand it?”
“God, you’re handsome, my husband.”
We grinned at each other. And then we both watched the road, waiting for the pizza to arrive.
Enjoying the sight of my husband, his shoulders stretched against the thread count of his shirt, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, staring from my porch at a world he didn’t understand, trying to keep me safe from everything that could, or might, possibly happen.
If he thought he could think of three ways he could die, I could too, it was part of the problem of the modern world. We knew so much about what was happening around us. Of course my ways were — murder, war, car accident. I wondered what his were...
“You said you could think of three things that might be able to kill you?”
“Aye, the string in the sky,” he pointed at the telephone wires, “the box by the door,” he gestured toward the keypad security system, “and the worst, ye see it?” He pointed at a potted plant in the corner.
I looked skeptical but then realized there was a little resin Tinkerbell figurine in the dirt, it glowed at night. I was so used to it I had forgotten it was there. “Are you talking about the fairy?”
He gulped, jokingly. “Och nae, daena speak on it! Tis lookin’ at me. Ye canna let them near yer house, Princess, the fae will be wantin’ tae make ye miserable for the fun of it.”
I laughed as the pizza delivery car drove into the driveway.
I recognized him, a local kid named Aaron, but Cooper and I called him Goth Guy, just not to his face.
I waved the guard away as Goth Guy unfolded himself from the beat-up black hatchback, all six-foot-something of him wrapped in the full, unapologetic glory of goth-stoner fashion.
Torin stood, and loomed at the top of the porch steps, his eyes fiercely directed at the gangly young man who was wearing a shredded black trench coat, a ripped T-shirt, black skinny jeans that were more holes than fabric, and huge, clunky, steel-toed platform boots with silver buckles.
Silver chains with skulls, spiked leather bracelets, and a septum ring adorned him. Tattoos covered him. And his jet black hair was up in spikes.
I looked from the drama of him to Torin, who was visibly on edge, and bit my lip to keep from laughing at the craziness of the moment. Now Torin has seen everything.
Goth Guy was also wearing black eyeliner and his eyes were currently wide with the dawning realization that this big Scottish man was glowering at him from the porch.
Torin said under his breath, his fingers itching near his hip, but there wasn’t a sword there. “Och nae, deamhan.”
Goth Guy froze, cleared his throat, and held up the pizza box and beer. “Um, hey Lexi, pizza?”
I stepped from the porch cheerily saying, “Yes, thank you, how are you, Aaron? How’s school?”
“Fine, good, shitty grades, but...” He shrugged.
I took the pizza and beer, and passed them to Torin, whispering, “You have to hold this flat.”
Torin held it tensely, while I fished money from my pocket. I paid for the pizza and gave Goth Guy ten bucks for the trouble of having the time-traveling Scottish Highlander glower at him.
Torin watched until Goth Guy had fully driven away before he followed me into the house. “What manner of dress was it?”
“It’s called Goth. Dark and emo — emotional. I call him Goth Guy.”
“He dressed like a deamhan come tae fetch souls.”
“Well, I guess he does a little, but he’s actually a good kid. His clothes are supposed to be shocking. I think he thought you were more so.”
We entered the kitchen. He placed the pizza box on the table and I put the beer in the fridge. “What is shockin’ about me?”
I grinned. “Your size, your muscles, your shadowy vibe, your clothes, your weapons, your presence.”
He nodded. Then turned his attention to the box as I lifted the lid. The pizza was very large, dripping with grease, perfectly browned cheese, parmesan and garlic dusting the crust. I rubbed my hands together.
He literally drooled. “Och, it smells good, tis safe tae eat from a demon?”
“Yes indeed. Goth Guy delivers for the best pizza place in town.” I pulled up a slice, mozzarella stringing along, and passed it to him.
I pulled up my own slice and ate the tip first.
He followed my lead and ate half of the pizza slice in one bite. “Och, the Goth-man inna a demon, he has brought us manna in a box.” He swallowed and took another big bite.
I said, “If you think about it, this is a little like your favorite food, bannocks and cheese, you’ve got bread, melted cheese.” I tore a piece in half and spread the stringy mozzarella out.
He popped the crust in his mouth. “I may hae another.”
I said, “Torin, the thing about pizza is we’re kinda expected to eat the whole thing.”
His eyes went wide. “Och, we canna let anyone down, we must set tae work on the demon-goth-manna.”
I grinned. “Think of how much you’ve already learned!”
I placed a pizza crust in front of Dude, he licked it, meowed, then set about trying to pull a piece of cheese from it.
I took a sip of beer.
Torin said, “I am thinkin’, now that we hae a vessel, we can leave—”
“Oh, you want to leave already?”
“Nae, I was goin’ tae say we can leave if we hae tae — it sets my mind at ease.”
I huffed.
“What ye huffin’ about, Princess?”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Ye were just sayin’ ye miss Scotland!”
“Missing it and going back there are totally different things.”
He scoffed.
I took a bite of pizza and said, with my mouth full, “But we can’t leave, Max won’t be able to find us.”
“While I agree, we ought nae leave, he would be able tae find us. Max and I hae an agreement tae meet each other at Muckhart. I was last there in mid-May and he was waitin’ for me.”
“What would you have done if he hadn’t been there?”
“I would hae waited for him, he would do his best tae come.”
My brow drew down. “Well no matter, we will stay here. That’s what we’re supposed to do.”
He folded a pizza slice expertly. “We will stay here, aye, but we ought tae be prepared tae go.”
“You mean packed?”
“Aye, there is a chance we will get called upon tae meet Max, or if there is danger, we would need tae flee, we ought tae ready. One plan ye should ken, is we always meet at Muckhart.”
“I suppose I ought to know where that is on the map.”
“In Clackmannanshire!” His face fell. “Ye daena ken where tis? Tis where Castle Glume stands. Tis where we were headed when we were in Scotland!”
I shrugged. “But we never made it there.”
“Tis a wee bit north of the Forth, tucked between the Ochil Hills and the Devon Water.”
“Albannach, I don’t know where any of that is.”
He groaned. “Well, tis in Scotland, I will show ye, next time.” He wiped his fingers in a napkin. “We will need more weapons, can we buy more weapons?”
“Yes, and matches and food and other supplies. But this is all in case, right? We have time.”
“Aye, we hae a day or two tae gather.”
“A day or two, but we’re on our honeymoon, I don’t want to spend it gathering supplies and besides it will take longer than that, I think...”
He blinked. “Where is yer armorer?”
I shrugged again. “There’s a gun shop near.”
“Will they hae swords as well?”
“I have no idea.”
“If the need arises, could we take yer guard?”
I shook my head. “Oh, I don’t think so… we probably shouldn’t tell anyone we are time traveling.”
“Ye told Cooper and Jen.”
“They aren’t just anyone. But this is just a backup plan, right? We only go if we are in danger. We would take Dude?”
“I think we will always hae tae take Dude, he misses Scotland as well. He wants tae go back, he told me so.”
I frowned. “You two have been planning a fast getaway to the sixteenth century without me? I don’t get a say?”
He watched my face. “Aye, ye daena get a say—”
“Torin, that’s outrageous, of course I get a say!”
His brow raised. “Then why did ye ask me?”
I pouted.
“If ye are in danger and we need tae flee, what would ye say, ‘nae’? Ye want me tae listen tae ye? I daena think that is how it would work, we will go tae Muckhart, tis decided. Tis a good idea.”
I pouted. “I’ve changed my mind about all of it, I don’t miss it. I don’t want to return to the sixteenth century.”
He looked at me from under his brow. “Ye daena mean it, Alexandria, or if ye do ye are provin’ yerself tae hae made a grave mistake, as ye hae married a man who is from the sixteenth century. Tis a surety that we will hae tae live there sometimes.”
I exhaled. “Yeah, I didn’t truly mean it, but… I have a million reasons why I don’t want to go, not now. We’re on our honeymoon—”
“Ye keep mentionin’ it, what is ‘our honeymoon’?”
“The period of time after our wedding. Where we just lay around in bed.”
“Ye mean, tae consummate, aye, we hae done this already.”
“A honeymoon should last at least a week!”
His brow drew down. “Och nae, ye want the world tae stop for us tae do what every man and wife hae done since the beginning of time? We married — we consummated it, now we hae duties and dangers tae deal with.”
“That is so unromantic!”
He scoffed. “Tis unromantic tae say I hae bedded m’wife well, she bedded me well, now I am goin’ tae protect her life as if tis m’own?”
“I guess that is romantic, fine.”
“The bedding is part of life, we get tae do it many times a day for a half-century at least if God wills a long life for us.” He grinned.
“Many times a day!”
“Aye, thousands of times over our lives, ye ken, but tae do that we must survive. We hae duties, Princess, yer survival is m’utmost concern.”
“Alright, that’s romantic, I agree. But I really want to stay here for a little while and enjoy some time in the modern world.”
“It daena hurt tae make plans, mo leannan.”
“Is that how you soften me up to get me to do what you want, ‘mo leannan’?”
He smiled, lovingly, “Nae, tis how I soften m’request. The way I get ye tae go is tae sternly look at ye, pat the horse, and tell ye tae mount up.
I am tellin’ ye, mo leannan, that if there comes danger and I say mount up, ye will hae tae mount up, and we ought tae prepare for that eventuality.
Tis good news, a few hours ago we dinna hae anyway tae leave tae get ye tae safety. ”
“Except my Beamer.”
He said, “Ye ken m’point.”
“Yes, fine.” I huffed. “Does Muckhart have a nice hotel?”
“The tavern is good, our room would be comfortable.”
I gulped. “It’s just… I haven’t been back since…”
“I ken, but we wouldn’t be goin’ tae the middle of a dangerous place, and ridin’ for days through the Highlands.
We would land in a clearin’ near Muckhart with our horses.
Twould be a quick ride. I will get us safely there, I promise.
If the tavern daena suit ye, we can move tae the castle Glume, ye would be even more safe. ”
I said, “Okay, I’m convinced, if there’s any reason why we have to flee, we will go to Muckhart. I will mount up.”
“Aye, good. And I will teach ye where tis on the map and how tae get there in case we are separated.”
“Oh no, Torin, we cannot keep talking about this.” I stood up and wiped off my hands.
There were two slices left. “You finished with the pizza?”
As I closed the box, our eyes drew to the window, there was a storm outside in the distance.